I spent the last hour writing this review, so I may as well post it here. I had a ton of fun with this. 😂

Also, you can thank nightwraith17 for getting me to read this thing.

RTC

I need more time to process this dumpster fire.

Hours later...

Alright, I'm back and ready to tackle this piece of work.

Folks, this story has several problems. It has more problems then I care to deal with, so I'll just be talking about the big ones. Feel free to send me angry messages when you've finished reading this, if you're a die-hard fan of this book. I can take it.

First off, the description. Yes, that's right. This synopsis deceived me.

I thought I'd be reading a story about ghosts and said ghosts haunting a house, two topics I enjoy. (No, no, I'm not ashamed of it.) This story, however, was not about ghosts haunting a house. It was about ghosts haunting a fantasy world.

...

This is not what I signed up for. I've already read enough fantasy quest novels this year. I still need to read and write Eldest's commentary, so I don't need another one of these Tolkien wannabe books.

But, we must go on.

The titular character, Mr. Brownsfield, thinks it's weird that people call him Mr. Brownsfield and doesn't like it. I only bring this up because I, amazingly enough, came up with a solution to his dire problem.

Tell. Them. Not. To. Call. You. Mr. Brownsfield.

It's amazing how easy that is. However, I've also forgotten his name, so I will affectionately refer to him as NotMr.Brownsfield for the rest of the review.

Anyway, NotMr.Brownsfield is fired from his job. Well, that's okay because he'll eventually stay in the fantasy world. It's all good. He finds a lantern on his porch, and takes inside like a good hero does. Out of said lantern pops a dwarf/man/wizard.

Oh, some social commentary about imaginations is given too when NotMr.Brownsfield plays with kids. I was too bored to really care though. The time, believe it or not was not "flying away with fairy wings."

Dwarf/wizard says NotMr.Brownsfield must GO ON AN ADVENTURE! YAY!

After long talks about this fantasy world, which I nearly fell asleep reading, they set off for this "magical place."

They wander around town, eat...stew (I mean seriously, why can't they eat pizza or something? Try something original for once.), and get some rain gear. He learns about this society, because according to him, "it was super interesting to learn how this society worked."

They meet the governor. Said governor apparently has darker skin. I bring this up, because the book decided to mention it. He's also boring and the book tries to pass him off as the villain. I don't buy it.

So...stuff happens. I honestly don't remember most of it. I'm just going off the extensive highlights I had the foresight to make. NotMr.Brownsfield says he's never fit in with the rest of the crowd.

I feel ya, buddy. It's tough being better than the rest of them. But somehow, life goes on.

He meets a girl, who you know he's going to end up with. All of them go on a quest to find some door. We get poetry lessons, conflicts are resolved so easily, you wonder why they had them in the first place, and finally, they trap a dead girl inside a milk carton. Whenever they open up the carton, she jumps out like a Mexican jumping bean.

You can't make this stuff up!

So, at the end of this dumpsterfire, the true villain shows up. As expected, he's not a great villain. I mean, he just shows up, says "I need to get revenge on this city" and whatever, and is defeated by kindness.

Seriously, it's like the ending of KH3. It was ridiculous. NotMr.Brownsfield "persuaded" him to give up his life of crime in a minute. ONE FREAKIN' MINUTE.

THAT'S NOT HOW YOU SOUNDLY DEFEAT A VILLAIN.

NotMr.Brownsfield buys him a plane ticket to Italy and sends him on his merry way. Then, I forgot what happened to him. I think he ended up in that fantasy world.

So, did I like this book? Heck no. It had a major problem of telling, rather than showing, and I didn't care about any of the characters. I fell asleep reading this thing. There's no way I'm ever reading this again.

I'll close with this. The dwarf/wizard says this gem of a line. I nearly died laughing when I read it.
"Anyone can write a book. Few people can write a good book."

This, my friends, falls in the first statement. It is simply...a book. That is all.