my phone buzzed at the table top
jungkook and i were watching WFKBJ
a cute kdrama that i loved and
yes, jungkook was watching with me, oh
he's asleep

meet me

from: choi seunyang

my eyebrows creased and i knew full well
where she's at right now
what the fuck happened
i gave up on him
because he truly loved her
now what?
does she want to rub it in my face?
i turned the tv off and glanced at the man sleeping with his mouth open

cute

i tapped his cheeks lightly and his eyes fluttered open

"hmm?"
"i will be going out for a while."
"huh?"

i smiled because of his cuteness and kissed his forehead, he smiled cutely like a lovestruck teen.

"you can stay, jungkook. i'll be right back ok?"

he back-hugged and kissed my cheek before bidding goodbye.
how can i let go of this guy?
of course,
choi seunyang would prefer to meet at our hangout place
the park near the university
i shivered at the cold temperature and pressed my palms together when i saw a silhouette of my former best friend

"seunyang."
i sat next to the swing, back then we would bond just by swinging and talking about random stuff
i missed her, truly, but that doesn't change the fact that i still hate her.
"i'm sorry."
silence was felt as the wind blew
"i cheated on him."
my head snapped quicker than how a twig would
"what?"
anger was now consuming me faster than i imagined, she stood up and i did too
i made her face me and she was already crying, she held my hands and tried to hug me
"i'm so sorry, mina, i, i took him for granted, i really loved him but-"
"but what?!"
"i went to see a psychologist and i was right all along that i was a sex addict."
speechless, she cried and fell on her knees.
" i truly loved jimin, shit, mina i hated myself for doing so but another part of me wanted to fuck him so bad because of my disorder."
"i tried hard, so fucking hard to control myself with the other members but-"
"who the fuck did you-"
"i didn't mess with his members. just a random man and oh my, fuck, i'm so sorry. i know i'm a slut and i deserve that."
she was already hurting herself, yanking her hair.
"shhh, seunyang."
yes, i hugged her.

the puzzles of giving herself to the professors
her swift move of sweeping jimin off his feet, turns out she flirted with him to just have a good fuck and fell in love afterwards
their make out when i barged in her apartment

she made fake reasons to conceal her disorder

i did not know

" i cheated on him, we fucked a lot of times but this disorder that i have fucking ruined my relationship with jimin. i'm really sorry mina, i know that you still hate me for stealing him and i lusted over him a couple of times, shit, i-"

"i was never his in the first place. you can tell him your disorder seunyang. you still have the chance to do so. jimin loves you."

the familiar pang hit me once again but not that strong

"go to him and if that won't work then go to me."

i smiled at her and hugged her. by what i said made her cry even more.

"fuck, you don't deserve me as a shitty best friend, i fucking ruined you as well and yet you're comforting me."

i patted her back and hugged her still

the art of letting go
and
the true art of friendship