i could not breathe

at that single moment, the butterflies grew wild
i tilted my head
my eyebrows collided afterwards
as i stared at the doll in front of me

so it was possible

"was"

my lips tugged with a smile

it was brief
1, 2, 3

we were possible

"we" could've happened
and for a short moment
the little voice inside my head

rejoiced
shouted
danced
cried because of joy

like a wild animal

it's as if it was freed after years of imprisonment

we were possible

"were"

past tense

then the butterflies stopped
the chirping of the birds halted

and i continued taking in and releasing air

we were just possible
but we weren't destined

possible but not probable

i blinked my eyes and stared at him and smiled

"don't be so foolish jimin. you fell for her, end of story."

"it's not like that but i just saw that you are more-"

"sorry."

his face was now mixed with confusion

"i won't do it."

i heaved a sigh
and
looked away, focusing on the dimming sky

"i won't be here for you anymore. i've got jungkook now, jimin."

he titled his head

i broke down

"i loved you, i really did. god knows how much i loved you. i was willing to give up my own self for you. was, jimin."

"but i don't want to replace her and help you get over my best friend."

i don't want to be the rebound
the substitute
the replacement

i'm not willing to fill up that job

yet
you have a part of my soul
that's the sad truth right?

you've stolen a part of me and yet you aren't aware
you can use that card anytime on me
irony
oh how i love it

i'm sorry

"go talk to her jimin, she'll explain everything ok? just let her talk. and if anything happens you can call jungkook or you can even message me. just-"

he still holds a part of me

and yes, after all this time

he's got me wrapped around his finger
but i'm now letting go ok?

don't make this hard for me

i'm not confused

i love jungkook

so fucking much that it will take me years to count the stars just to prove how much i love him

jimin

he's my kryptonite

my weakness and my fear

my whole being will shudder when i'm near him because he has this effect on me that i will never be able to eradicate
he holds a part of my soul

because he was the past that i can never erase

and jungkook is my present and awaiting future

jimin will forever be my "what-ifs"

while

jungkook will be my daily "what-wills"

"-just go okay? you'll be okay."

i smiled

standing up
he mimicked it as well

he titled his head and smiled

"all of this will eventually smoothen out."

"thank you mina. i'm sorry if-"

"it's all fine."

i heard the sound emitted by the engine of jungkook's car from afar

"i'll message you after the talk ok? you promised."

he said teasingly
he was back
running his fingers through his raven hair

i nodded and chucked as well
the atmosphere now getting lighter

"of course."

he patted my shoulder and waved at jungkook who honked back as a reply

he smiled at me and left

the familiar feeling of contentment rushed inside of me

thank you jimin
i smiled and blew the stray strands of hair that hung across my face

then i kicked a pebble along the way before turning and running towards jungkook's car

i missed you

jungkook

my eyes grew bigger when i saw paper bags from mcdonald's filled his car

it was a planned night drive

thank you jungkook

and

i love you

the end