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***

Breathing in, I could smell the sweet perfumes of lilac as a cool breeze swept by. I closed my eyes and attempted to keep myself relaxed. My constant worry of losing control lifted in the serene ambience of the garden.

It was close to sundown and the soft, orange rays of sunlight hit every surface it could touch, giving it a beautiful golden hue. The sky was a mix of different colors both warm and cool, like fire and ice.

I loved fire once, but that was long before I came to realize that fire does not only comfort, but also consume.

I lifted my hands to look at them with my anxious eyes. Pale and trembling they were, but behind the appearance of innocence, lies something else. Something I was forced to live with. My mother said it was a gift, but would she still say that after she perished in what I undesirably possessed?

The soft rustling of leaves nearby snapped me out of my tranquil reverie. I lazily twisted my body around, only half curious as to what caused it. I narrowed my eyes at the placid atmosphere around me, hoping I would see something exciting rather than the occasional squirrel that passes by.

After seeing non-existent visitors, I turned my body away from the garden but I abruptly twisted around when the rustling occurred again. From the quick turn of my head, I was able to spot a blur of grey that whizzed by just a few meters ahead.

I narrowed my eyes at the undeniable presence that I was feeling. It was the kind that made hairs on your arm stand on its end, chills crawl up your spine or sparks erupt at your fingertips. The air was buzzing around me, like I was being pulled by an unseen force. 

“H-hello?” I spoke softly, embarrassed at my own self at asking someone that might not be there.

Not a single sound I heard, but I tried again. “Who’s there?”

I waited for an answer and when a moment passed by without even a rustling of leaves, I dropped my clenched fists and sighed.

"Elora," a vaguely familiar voice called.

I turned around to face the concrete structure that I now called my home. A lady in a white nurses uniform was making her way down the steps with her lips curved into a polite smile. I wish I could give her the same gesture in return but my emotions have been corrupted.

"Come, it's time for dinner."

I flinched back when she extended her arm to touch mine.

"Must we do this everytime? Sometimes it feels as if you don't know me at all."

Her green eyes glanced into mine and they were pooling with sympathy and love. Was she another soul I would soon destroy? I didn't want that to happen again let alone think about it.

"D-do I know you?"

"Of course you know me," she laughed. "It's Kyra, I've been taking care of you for months!"

"You have?" She didn't look baffled by my surprised expression and just smiled with patience. Had it really been eight months?

"Yes, hon," she nodded. "Now, let's hurry up, your dinner will get cold."

"I saw something, earlier." I mentioned to her.

"And what was that, dear?"

"I'm not positive," I sighed. "But, it looked like a man."

"I'm sure it was nothing, love, just your imagination." 

I tuck a strand of black hair behind my ear and grit my teeth. "It wasn't my imagination. He stared at me."

"It's probably just Terrent, the new garden keeper," she said as she opened the glass doors.   

Kyra sat me on a chair facing nothing but emptiness and a meal that had been prepared for me. She occupied the seat beside mine and started eating after I did. She gave me a content and patient smile, before starting a conversation to break the silence.

"How was your time in the gardens?"

"It was fine."

I never say more than a few syllables. Speaking became something I had removed from my self along with my social life.

The building I was housed in was empty, I'm sure it was once filled with happy souls and vibrant smiles. At my will and request, I had asked to be in isolation, with an exception of a few select individuals, of course. I can't lose control again and if I do, the casualties would be minimal.

"What's on your mind, hon?" Kyra asked.
I inhaled and touched my fork. "Nothing, really, just thinking."

She smiled. "What, may I ask, are you thinking about?"

"I had a dream last night," I lied, not wanting to delve into the conversation. I didn't want to remember anything from my past, not even my own name. Most things I have truly forgotten, but they return to me in the most inconvenient of times.

"Oh, yeah? What was this dream about?"

"Nothing really. I don't usually dream, this one was ordinary."

Lies, all lies. My conscience badgered. I dream every night, and it's always the same - most of them are not even dreams, they're memories. I gave her a frail smile and I found my eyes wandering towards the window.

My eyes darted to a figure that was ascending the steps toward us, his stance screamed violence. "Kyra, someone's coming." He wore gray and looked very familiar, my unwanted visitor from the gardens exposed himself.

Kyra widens her eyes and turns to look at me. "Whatever happens, Elora, stay calm," she warned and quickly grabbed my arm to run.

A surge of panic shot from my mind and beads of sweat started emerging from my palms and forehead. A warm feeling riled within me and right when we turned around a corner, a sound of shattering windows caught my attention. "No, Elora, don't look back!"

Too late. Our invaders made their way into the house and caught up. I look down at myself in shock - my body was shaking uncontrollably and my palms tingled with something familiar.

"No, Elora! You can control it," Kyra reassured me.

I look to her, then to the three large figures advancing toward us with fierce demeanors. I can save us, I shouted in my mind. The warm feeling turned into a shock. "Kyra, I can't," I shook my head in defeat.

My eyes watered in weakness. I can't control it, I never could and I don't know if I ever will. I looked down at my hands and a spark of orange and red erupted at my fingertips. "No," I screamed.

The feeling returned. The same one that envelops my mind and my heart like a crushing weight, like losing someone you love. It may not seem but the fire within me was cool, numbing almost, as if my subconscious was telling me it will all be alright.

But it won't. It's never alright. As if on cue, the sparks ignited into a full, luminous flame. The sounds around me muted, it hurt to breathe.

I closed my eyes before destruction began. I saw everyone's face behind my eyelids and I scream. No, no more. I can't do this, I can't live like this. I let the fire consume me and everyone around me. It's septic grasp latched on everything it touched and extinguished all in sight.

I hoped to die, that the fire would eat at my soul and burn me alive. Everywhere I went annihilation followed. It hurts like you've never felt before.

It was after a moment that I fell into a dark abyss. It was like turning off a light in a dark room or cutting an object with a sharp knife. I felt nothing - Peace and solitude. This was all I wanted, but fate had always kept me alive.

El, they called to me. El, can you hear me? They shook.

My heart fluttered in my chest. The voice was calm, despite the trauma I experienced. No one has called me my nickname in a while - not for a long time.

Yes, I can hear you.

What felt like forever was overshadowed by all thoughts of my desire to wither and disappear. With the lives that I take, a piece of my soul goes with them. I am an atomic bomb ticking away.

***

Hm. What do you think?
:) Chapters for this will be shorter than usual but packed with goodness. :)
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