In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful

‘Peace and Blessings of Allah be upon our beloved Prophet and Master Muhammad (s.a.s), all his blessed descendents and noble companions.’

                                                                                       -Aameen.

Dedicated to theknowledgeaddict for her words, which moved me to tears…

Chapter Twenty-Five

Embrace in life, Sabrun Jameel

In the dimly lit suite, Humaira stood still for long tensed moments staring at the closed door of their cabin, then at her shaken and distraught brother. With her heart profoundly moved and tears clinging to her lashes, she quietly slipped back into the balcony.

Some minutes earlier, she had torn herself from the shy whispering secrets of the wind and sea and entered the cabin in her soft manner to check upon her brother. But when she came inside, Humaira found herself frozen upon seeing Maryam coming towards Saif as if entranced.

The scene and words that occurred next made her think that she was being a spectator in some kind of an intense emotional dream. And when Maryam finally ran blindly leaving Saif to call upon Allah SWT from his heart, Humaira knew that this was no scene that she should have witnessed. For this was something sacred between the two souls with Allah as their witness.

Humaira felt her tears falling as she gazed unseeingly upon the shining, rippling water. Her thoughts whirled as she felt light dawning upon every action of Maryam until now…her heart felt crushed when she recalled the pain in Maryam’s broken voice…to bare her heart and soul like that, to be so brave yet vulnerable like that –Humaira shivered unconsciously.

She did not know for how long she stood there staring at the far dark horizon when a small warm hand slipped into hers.

“Humair Di!” A little voice whispered joyously.

“Oh Umar how did you…?”

“I see that your brother is sleeping…” A quiet voice drawled in the darkness towards which Humaira’s head turned involuntarily.

Alex, who had met Umar coming back with his friend, had entered the cabin with him to check Saif one last time before retiring for the night. He was surprised to find the suite dimly lit, for he knew that they had not eaten dinner yet. He thought that Saif was sleeping and the next second felt his pulse race madly when his eyes pierced the shadows searching for her. It was then that he saw Umar silently push the transparent doors and enter the balcony. Alex followed him.

When Humaira looked towards him, Alex felt his heart tearing into thousand bits of emotions upon realizing that she was wearing no veil. His stunned senses had no time to etch her unveiled face in his memory except for a glimpse of her lips slightly parted as if in startled surprise, for she immediately turned and went inside.

“No!” Even as the words left his mouth, Alex knew he was being foolish and no doubt, he sounded desperate too. And he didn’t know whether Humaira had heard him or not, for she had not stayed back.

Passing a hand through his hair, Alex felt the ghostly fingers of the wind caress his face as he closed his eyes with a heavy sigh. O Lord! How much deeper will he fall for this girl who didn’t even care whether he existed or died…

Humaira sat upon the sofa, mechanically tying her Niqaab while Umar timidly stood peering at his brother. Humaira knew that Saif was not asleep and she too tried to make out his features wondering what he was thinking with his eyes shut. She didn’t notice Alex leaving the cabin after some minutes without bestowing any glance upon the occupants.

It was an hour later when the steward brought the dinner that Saif finally opened his eyes. Umar kept the conversation in flow and Humaira listened to him with her gentle smile yet her glance often rested upon Saif who remained silent except for some occasional word. Then they busied themselves with Isha Salah and as Saif prolonged his prayer, Umar was drooping with sleep by the time they sat for Ta’leem.

“I’ll read just a small incident after which you can sleep immediately…” Humaira said softly, looking at Umar who nodded smiling drowsily.

“Once, a man offered to pay a worker to deliver some goods to his home,” Humaira began with a little smile.

“The worker agreed on the condition that on the way, if the time for prayer entered he would first offer his Salah and then deliver the goods. The man accepted the worker’s terms. After walking for some distance, they heard the call to prayer. The worker told him that he was going for Salah as previously agreed. The man said that he would stand by his goods and told the worker to quickly pray and return.

The worker went into the Masjid and became engaged in his Salah. Even though people began exiting, he remained immersed in prayer. After some time the man finally called out impatiently, ‘O you in there, It has been a long time! Who stops you from exiting?’

The worker replied, ‘Sir, the One Who stops you from entering is the One Who stops me from exiting!’” Humaira paused and felt her heart lighten when she saw Saif smile slightly at these words.

Soon they all settled for sleeping. Humaira found herself lying awake for a long time until her lids finally shuttered in utter weariness.

But when in the middle of the night, she stirred and became awake, her glance naturally went towards the bed. Then with a little gasp, she sat up realizing that Saif wasn’t there. Quietly getting up, she moved across the suite and checked the bathroom, which was empty. Her eyes sought the balcony and she stilled when she saw her brother sitting upon a chair like one carved from stone.

She wondered for how long he had been sitting thus, staring into the chilling darkness while his thoughts were filled with… Humaira choked back the emerging tears and closed her eyes with a shaky sigh.

Thus that night, the four whose fates were intricately interlinked were destined to lose sleep while their hearts and minds were seared with deep ache or anguish.      

It was nearing twelve in the morning when the siblings took brunch after sleeping late. They had slept only after praying Fajr yet Saif wasn’t aware that Humaira had been keeping vigil too.

Humaira noted anxiously that Saif looked pale and worn while he continued to maintain the silence of yesterday. She tried to draw him into conversations but he curtly ended them with monosyllables. With a sinking heart, she wished that Saira Di were here. For where Humaira’s heart shrank from his rudeness not wanting to hurt and unable to soothe his pain, she knew his twin would know how to deal with his moods.

Even though Umar sensed that his hero wasn’t being the usual self, he attributed it to the pain of wounds and burns while remaining blissfully ignorant of the true state.

Alex’s head throbbed furiously while his eyes burned from lack of sleep as he stared at the black box in front of him. He had yet to go and check upon Saif, but he didn’t dare. He knew that if he saw her again, he would lose all semblance of control not caring who looked or watched. The whole night her unveiled face hidden in shadows had haunted him. His mind vividly pictured the startled look in her large eyes. Then, there had been those parted lips…

Suppressing a groan, Alex clutched his head asking himself for the thousandth time… why he had to be utterly crazy as to fall so desperately in love with her among all those billion others.    

He would have spoken long ago if she had been like the women he was used to. They would have chatted, dated, (for the thought of being refused never occurred to him) and would have got to know about each other and to… O God! ‘Cause now, even after a fortnight of knowing her, he still didn’t know how to approach her and if he indeed neared her, he, Dr. Alex Montex seemed to lose his wits and didn’t know what to say to her. And strive as he might against this growing flame in his heart, it only leaped more the more he tried to crush or repress it.

With a shudder, he pulled himself and dully walked towards the bath.

“I don’t even ask you to forgive me Humair –I know I have been behaving like a brute this whole day…” Saif said quietly, looking at his patient sister who was smiling tenderly at him.

Humaira shook her head. “You are tired Bhaiya, besides you’re in pain…”

Saif closed his eyes wearily. “What did Saira say?”

“The same, that Misbah Bhaiya would be there waiting for us tomorrow In sha Allah as he had already started. We would be going home by Taxi.”

Saif didn’t raise any protest except to sigh. Humaira watched him for some moments before saying softly,

“I want to go and say farewell to the girls who visited me, is it okay?”

The dark eyes flashed open and searched her face for a second, then smiling slightly he nodded,

“Yes of course…they’ll will miss you, right?”

Humaira readily smiled back. “I’ll miss them too.”

“Take Umar with you!”

“Of course.” Still smiling, she left eventually.

Both Jo and Flis were delighted by her appearance while there seemed to be no sign of Fred.

“Girl, I swear by your Lord that there has been none like you before in my life…you are like…like everything which is good and pure!” Jo said swallowing the lump of tears as she hugged the breath from Humaira.

“Ya Allah…Jo, I can’t –breath!” Humaira gasped and laughed while her eyes shone with unshed tears. “And don’t make me into some kind of paragon please, I have my faults too. Also Jo, Allah SWT is not my Lord alone, He is our Lord…”

Jo smiled. “Well as far as I know, I have never seen these wonderful faults of yours…”

“Don’t want to shock you by revealing them.” Humaira grinned.

Jo snorted rolling her eyes.

“See I have come to return the visit just as I promised.” Humaira said to Ubah after having exchanged Salaam.

“And its time too!” Basheera declared with a welcoming smile.

“So we would be anchoring at Goa tomorrow at…?”

“Before noon In shaa Allah.” Humaira smiled amusedly at Mubaraka who was placing whatever food she could find in front of the guests.

“Eat now!” She beamed proudly.

“Can you tell me the deck and cabin no of Maryam?” Humaira asked softly, as she took a bite of the little cake.

Basheera nodded. “’Course! Besides we haven’t seen a glimpse of her since yesterday noon…”

 Humaira’s heart chilled and for a moment, she was unable to swallow the cake. It seemed to be stuck in her throat.

The icy feeling of her heart returned after ten minutes when she stood knocking upon Maryam’s cabin. Umar who had patiently borne the previous two visits had now started fidgeting and it was with relief that Humaira saw him spot his Uncle Alex somewhere nearby. He was soon gone leaving her alone.

“Who…?” Maryam finally opened the door slightly and asked in a listless voice.

But when she saw who it was, her heart leaped to her throat. The thought that perhaps he wants to see or speak to her rushed to her mind only to be dashed when Humaira greeted her and said softly,

“I came to see you to say adieu. May I not come inside?”

Maryam flushed and nodded, moving aside and opening the door wide.

Humaira was once again struck by how beautiful she looked. Her face was wan and there were deep shadows underneath her eyes. Yet this only seemed to enhance her beauty as she stood looking at Humaira, who in turn was staring back at her while she removed her Niqaab.

“I’m paying farewell visits,” Humaira chuckled slightly. “I came to you last.”

As she sat down upon the bed, Humaira observed a framed photograph of a middle-aged man placed upon the bedhead.

“My Abba…” Seeing Humaira’s glance, Maryam said slowly as if she was trying to convince herself that he was the only one who mattered in her life now.

Humaira’s eyes widened. “So you know Urdu?” For Maryam had spoken the words unconsciously in that language.

Maryam nodded. “He taught me. He’s an Indian…”

Humaira smiled gently. “Won’t you sit? And that’s great to know Ma sha Allah! One wouldn’t believe it seeing you…”

“That my father is an Indian? Yes…I guess so, I…I look like my mom…”

“Me too!” Humaira dimpled. “But Saif Bhaiya doesn’t look like either of our parents. He takes after our handsome grandfather…” Humaira paused as she watched Maryam lower her gaze while the colour mounted to her cheeks.

“You know,” She continued softly. “There are five of us in our family excluding our parents and everyone else. First, there’s Habib Bhaiya who is just like a second father to us, only he’s young. He married Heena Bhabi and they have two kids, Yahya and Hafsa…”

Maryam’s black eyes betrayed her curious astonishment as Humaira went on to speak steadily with a loving smile.

“…Then there’s Saif Bhaiya and Saira Di, they are twins. Saira Di got married last year to our cousin brother, Misbah Bhaiya who is also the best friend of Saif Bhaiya since childhood. These three are like some inseparable trio, always upto some mischief, even now, for they find it hard to remember they are grown up…Then there’s me, and then finally Umar.” Humaira looked calmly back at Maryam who was gazing at her in fascination. With the smile still curving her lips, Humaira took Maryam’s hand in her own as she said,

“Besides these, we have grandparents, numerous aunts and uncles and loads of cousins…they would flock our home once they get the whiff that a marriage would be taking place soon…and of course there’s India too, there’s our Chennai,” Her smiled turned warm as she proceeded.

“It’s a hot city for nearly 80% of the year around… we Chennaites’ grumble, complain and moan about the heat yet nevertheless we thrive in it too, for though we pray for rain and dance in glee when it pours, we are usually glad when the sun emerges back.

For our roads turn from bad to worst after one single rainfall… and then, there’s the abominable traffic of our city… Still amidst all the melting pot of cultures and religions and colours, we Chennaites’ are proud of our Chennai and beneath all the glitter and glamour and clamour, you’ll usually find us kind and warm hearted…and now, do you think you could live in such a city with such a family as ours?”

Maryam’s eyes had grown round and big with curiosity and once Humaira stopped with the question, they became stunned.

Humaira smiled delightedly, revealing her dimple. “Ya Allah! Don’t look so…for hasn’t our Nabi SAW said There is nothing better for two who love each other than marriage…”

“I was there last night…” She said quietly. Maryam blushed furiously, looking at the carpet.

“I didn’t tell Saif Bhaiya that I heard, he won’t like it… he’s in much pain, his body has still to heal…and now I think his heart is in distress too…”

Maryam remained quiet yet it was easy to see that she was struggling with herself.

“If Saif Bhaiya loves you too, he’ll no doubt offer you marriage, that’s why I gave you the glimpse of how it would be when you marry him…”

“If he loves me…” Maryam finally spoke, her voice filled with raw anguish.

“Nobody could help loving you.” Humaira said softly.

Maryam looked at her gratefully, biting her lip to keep back the tears.

“Marriage won’t be easy…all kinds of responsibilities would fall upon you, many to which you would be new. Saif Bhaiya won’t allow his wife to go for work, also as long as I can remember, it has been an established yet unsaid thing that he would take up our Abba’s business, for Habib Bhaiya has made his home in Dubai and Umar is still a child. Saif Bhaiya won’t make a separate home from Ammi and Abba, and that means you would have to live with us all…enduring everything day by day…which would kill you, except perhaps as you declared yesterday, if you truly love him, then all these hurdles and sacrifices would be nothing at all…” Humaira smiled tenderly.

“Here’s our address and this is my phone no and that is Saif Bhaiya’s… I like you and trust you Maryam and I’m not saying that you two would be married tomorrow… For we are not living in between the pages of some kind of a fairy tale, where you reveal your love in the previous chapter and Saif Bhaiya marries you in the next chapter and you both live happily ever after,” Humaira said with a dry chuckle. “No doubt that would be wonderful too but as we all know reality is hardly ever so…”

Maryam was smiling slightly as she took the neatly folded paper from Humaira.

“But one thing I do know is, Saif Bhaiya won’t forget you easily. So for now dear Maryam, have Sabrun Jameel (beautiful patience)... ” With that, she pulled Maryam into a hug.

With tears finally spilling onto her cheeks and feeling as if her heart was bursting in strange joy, Maryam hugged back Humaira tightly, wondering whether she was some angel in disguise.

“And so who will read Ta’leem today?” Humaira asked, raising her voice and deliberately breaking her elder brother’s thoughts.

Saif looked at her and smiled, while Umar shouted loudly, “I will, I will!”

“Alright then sir, stop dancing and begin with Bismillah.”

Umar grinned and soon began, “Bismillah! Recorded by Tirmidhi and reported by Abdullah b. Harith (r.a) who said:

“I never met a man who smiled more often than the Prophet of Allah (SAW).” Umar stopped with a huge smile.

“Read another.” Saif said with the first glimpse of his teasing smile that day.

“Recorded by Imam Bukhari, the Holy Prophet (SAW) taught the following prayer to his people:

Allahumma a‘oodhu bika minal hammi wal huzni wal ‘ajzi wal kasli wa dala ‘idd daini wa ghala batir rijaal

O Allah! I seek refuge in Thee from the anxiety and grief, from inability and sloth, from the burden of indebtedness and from the domination of men.”

“So you know this Du’a?” Saif asked Umar when he paused. Umar shook his head.

“Mm. I want you to memorize this by the time we reach home In sha Allah, yes?”

“In sha Allah Bhaiya!” Umar beamed. Unlike from others, he loved receiving and doing tasks from his hero.

“And you Humair?”

Humaira’s heart seemed to melt, hearing the teasing tone back in her brother’s voice.

“Oh I know it Bhaiya Alhamdulillah…what about you?” She teased back.

“Ah now that you remind me…I wonder whether I …”

“Saif Bhaiya!”

The smiles and laughter did not reach the man who was restlessly pacing the next cabin. When Alex had finally gone to check upon Saif, he was strangely relieved and disappointed upon finding him alone. Then later, he saw her with Umar. And when Umar joined him, she had disappeared. Now finally, the day had ended and the night had spread its dark serene cloak…and tomorrow, she would be leaving…

His throbbing heart seemed to still at that thought, for it was at least better having glimpses of her than never seeing her at all, never hearing that gentle melodious voice again, never…

And when the soft beams of dawn timidly peered into his cabin the next day, they found him still pacing.

*****

A/N ;)

So? How was it? Hope you enjoyed In sha' Allah… :))

Also a billion gazillion Thank You! to you for the awesome support, Jazak Allahu Khairan Kaseeran Kaseeran Kaseera!

Wassalam.

With all my Duas,

abdurRahman (Gudi ;))