Hello loves. Hopefully I have time to finish most of this chapter today.

-Sam-

Something is up with Gabriel. I don't know what but I think he has been avoiding me. This morning we didn't walk to school together like we use to and I haven't been able to speak to him all day. He always disappears after class before I have a chance to say something to him. And I don't think he even ate lynch in school. I sent a couple of texts but they are still left unread and I swear that when I looked closer at him in class his eyes looked red, as if he'd spent a night crying. I would know, I read many books.

But Gabriel worries me. I try sending another text asking if we can meet after school. I write the text carefully glancing up now and then to see so my teacher doesn't see me using my phone in class. She doesn't, she is very busy with yelling at another student for somehow making his bench fall over. I look at Gabriel. When he receives my text he takes his phone up and looks at it before putting it back in his pocket. He glances towards me and pur eyes meet for 0.1 seconds. He looks away and it hurts me strangely much.

After school he disappears before I even leave the classroom. I look through the corridor but I can't see him anywhere. I sigh and start to slowly walk home, my eyes not leaving the ground.

-Gabriel-

I don't think I got any sleep at all last night. At first after Sam left I brushed my teeth and then laid in my bed for maybe an hour before it really sank in what had happened. I'm not allowed to continue being friends with Sam. The dark shadows in my room becomes blurry and I cry into my pillow.

How did this happen? I spend the next hour sulking and crying. The two hours after that I spend trying to find loopholes in what my mother said. But she was pretty clear with what she said. I am not allowed to meet Sam or anyone related to him. I know I could probably see Sam in secret but what will mom or dad do if they would find out?

I don't think they would go as far as throwing me out. But how would I know what they are capable of. What if I would tell someone? No they would most likely not see the problem or not be able to help. It's not like I could call the police or anything and say 'Yes hi I would like to report my mom for not letting me keep being friends with my bestie. Just because my best friends brother is gay for my older brother.' They would probably just laugh and hang up on me.

I could probably report them to the police because the have thrown two 14 years olds out of their house without making sure they would survive but then they might lose custody over me. That might be good because they are obviously not A+ parents but I would have to move to some other family to take care of me and who knows how far away they live? I could have to move whole states away. I don't want to be that far away from Sam. Then I couldn't eve see him in school. And the thought of moving in with strangers scares me. I have seen too many movies and read too many books about people being abused in such homes.

But I don't think we can hang in school either. Who knows, someone might tell my mom that they saw us running down the hallways together or the principal might call my mom and tell her that we threw glitter at students leaving the classroom? I can't take the risk. They did somehow find out about Castiel and Dean dating so what says they will not find out about me hanging with Sam? I don't know what my mom and dad will do to keep me away from Sam.

I curl up in a ball in my bed and pulls my covers over me so I'm lying in complete darkness. I feel at home in the darkness right now. In the morning at 4am I am pretty sure I didn't sleep at all but if I did I woke up just as tired, sad and hopeless as I fell asleep. I don't leave my room until I have to leave for school. Luckily my mom has already left for work and my dad is still on his work trip. Mom left some scones for me at the kitchen table and a jar with jam bit the thought of food makes me feel a bit sick.

I force myself to avoid Sam all day in school and not to look at the texts he is sending me. Every time he sends me a text my heart sinks a bit in my chest. This isn't fair. After school I run home and hide in my room. I want to go to the treehouse, the only place where I feel completely safe, bit Sam might look for me there.

I spend my night doing all my homework and studying for a upcoming test. It keeps my thoughts away from things that makes me want to jump out of the window. I open Spotify on my phone and play my favorite music. Castiel had showed me several good bands before he'd 'moved out'. At least I still have music and tv shows to distract my thoughts. But watching Doctor Who or Sherlock I quickly discover feels very sad without your best friend. I gather strength to spend a whole meal in the presence of my mom and dad.

Something tells me there is something extremely sad with an 11 year old boy having to gather all the strength he can find in his body before meets his parents for dinner. This whole situation is slightly depressing.

Written: 14th May 2017
P

ublished: 14th May 2017

Words: 1062

Two updates in a day AGAIN?! It must be that summer is coming soon that gives me all this motivation! I can finally see the light in the end of the tunnel.