-Chapter 10-

                              Dedicated to

                          fullofmangopulp

|X|

So I'm at school, and I regret coming now, people look at me with a smile at first, then look at the bracelet I'm wearing and I guess by the way they look at me with a 'sorry' kind of look in their eyes, I guess the bracelet doesn't hide the Band-Aid that well.

'I wanna go home...'

"Hey Xavier, how are you doing today?" One of my teachers asked, I attempted a smile but failed pretty bad, she looked at me the same way as the other students, I just went to sit at my chair for class, the teacher didn't mind that I kept to myself and listened to music while she taught class, as long as I was at school.

×Later That Day×

It was now lunch time and I guess Alex told Derek to find me before I ran and hid from them, because I was now being dragged by Derek towards lunch, I don't mind I wasn't going to go anywhere really, I actually did want to be with them at lunch, maybe they can cheer me up?

As we got to lunch I saw everyone there, everyone except Damon, actually I haven't seen him all day.

'Maybe he doesn't want a relationship with too many complications... I don't blame him'

"Oh my baby's here!! X were you a good boy in class today?" Alex asked as I sat next to him, I just shrugged and saw all my friends smiling at me, but their smiles weren't fake at all, their smiles where reassuring and I could tell they genuinely were happy to see me out and about, they didn't look at me with pity and there were no signs of 'sorry' in their eyes.

"So, tonight is movie night and there will be junk food and movies and blankets! Who's up for it?" Alex said cheerfully and pretty much everyone agreed, and then they all looked at me.

"Well I have no choice, I'm staying with Alex so, sure.." I said trying to sound a little exited, but inside I just wanted to be home under my covers listening to music. I love my friends I really do, but right now I wanted to be alone, but I have no choice, my friends love me too much to let me slip away and drown myself in my own depression.

"Hey guys sorry I'm late." He said.

'That voice, his soothing voice.'

I didn't have to look up to see who it was, I knew very well who it was, I laid my head down on the cold table, he sat next to me and gave me a kiss on the cheek, he wrapped his arm around my waist and pulled me towards him, I couldn't help but drown in his scent, his calming and intoxicating scent.

Everyone else around the table went on talking about tonight, Damon whispered in my ear.

"I'm sorry for leaving I didn't want to wake you up, I had to go to the hospital because my little sister somehow ended up with a sprained ankle, her friend thought it was broken."

'So he didn't actually leave me, I mean I know he didn't but that dream felt so realistic'

"Is she ok?" I asked and raised my head to look at him, he looked exhausted, he placed his warm hand on my cheek and kissed my lips, I almost groaned when he pulled away.

"She's fine, she's at home resting." He said and smiled, I nodded and thought about something, I turned to Alex and tapped his shoulder.

"What's up?" He asked and I whispered in his ear.

"Can Damon and his sister sleep over your house tonight, I think it'd be a good idea if my sister had at least someone around her age to be there and not feel left out, Damon's sister sprained her ankle and my sister can keep her company."

"Of course sweetie, you know my mom doesn't mind my friends sleeping over, and she's gonna be really glad to meet Damon." Alex said smiling and wiggling his eyebrows, I almost laughed but I turned to Damon who was now looking at me confused and I couldn't help it and chuckled.

"Do you wanna sleep over Alex's house? And also you can bring your sister, my sister would appreciate having someone there to talk to.... And also I don't like my sister being around all these dirty people." I said loud enough for everyone to hear, hopefully they had something funny to say, I want to be cheered up.

"The only dirty one here is Alex." Ollie said while he covered his cough, Alex pretended to be offended.

"Look who's talking, Mr.Germ infested kid!" Alex said while trying to sound disgusted, everyone laughed and so did I.

I felt Damon shaking with laughter and that made me feel much better, I leaned towards him to give him a kiss on the cheek and he turned his head just in time for my lips to meet his, and I couldn't help the smile forming on my face, and I guess he couldn't either.

'I needed this'

"Can we talk in private before the bell rings for class?" He said as he pulled away and caressed my cheek, I nodded and followed him outside the lunchroom.

"I just wanted you to know that I'm always here for you, whenever you need anything no matter the time." He holding my hands and looking me straight in the eyes.

'What?...'

I pulled my hands away from his, feeling a bit like an idiot.

"Just because I cut myself yesterday, doesn't mean I'm suicidal, I've been clean for a long time and yesterday I didn't even realize what happened until it was too late! And it was your fault too! I don't need your help! I don't need anyone's help! I'm-"

"You what?! Where? Let me- why?! I didn't-..." He tried reaching for my arm and I pulled away before he could touch me.

'I don't need his help...'

"Don't bother coming tonight, I change my mind, I've dealt with this on my own before, I don't need you asking me every 10 seconds if I'm ok." I said wrapping my arms around myself and my eyes fixed on the floor. The bell rang and in a second Alex was right next to me with my book bag, Damon never took his off, I didn't want to look up at all and I felt Alex wrap his arms around me, at first I flinched and felt really nervous until I heard Alex' voice.

"It's ok sweetie it's me, you're ok, let's go to the nurse for a bit ok." He said hugging me tight, I just nodded, still not looking anywhere but the floor.

"I need to talk to you, wait for me outside the nurse's office, I'll ask the nurse to write a note for your teacher." Alex said to Damon, Alex sounded mad, I haven't heard him mad in a while.

'Maybe he's mad at me.... I hope he's not mad at me..'

"Is he ok? I didn't mean to upset him, I was trying to be hel-" He was cut off by Alex and I could tell by the tone of his voice that he was even more mad.

"Just don't, I said meet me outside of the nurse's office... Also, tell Dee to come and let Derek know I'm taking X there, tell him he'll be ok and that I'll text him as soon as I can."

'I don't like it when Alex is mad, it was a bad idea coming to school today...'

"You're ok X, I'm here, but I need you to tell me what happened so that I know how to make it better, ok?" Alex said as we walked away, I slowly looked behind me to see Damon standing there with his hands in his sweater pocket and looking down at the ground, I turned to look at Alex and then straight ahead.

"He said he wanted to help me.... I don't need his help." I said starting to get a little mad, Alex had his arm on my waist and the other was holding my arm.

"I think he means well babe, this might upset you and I'm sorry if it does, but you need to hear it... I don't think he knows about your scratch marks, when I got there he was really pale and surprised, he looked as if he had no idea what to say. What did you tell him?" Alex said, I looked up because we came to a stop, we were outside of the nurse's office, I took a deep breath.

'I really don't wanna talk about this... I wanna go home... or at least to Alex's house.'

Knowing Alex, he's just gonna keep bugging me until I tell him what I said.

"You should know by now that I'll annoy the shit out of you until you tell me what I wanna hear." He said crossing his hands on his chest and tapping the floor with his foot, I couldn't help but laugh a little.

'It's like he reads my mind or something.'

"I told him it was his fault that I cu- scratched myself again, I told him that I didn't need his help, I didn't need anybody's help. I don't know why I yelled at him, I don't know why I feel like this, he just got me so angry because he doesn't know me, he doesn't know anything about me! I told him that I changed my mind, I don't want him over tonight. He can't just come here and try to fix something that's broken with out even knowing what's wrong with it in the first place! I don't need him! I don't want him!" I didn't realize I was shaking and crying until Alex wiped away my tears and wrapped his arms around me trying to calm me down.

'I really wanna get out of here...'

"Shh it's going to be ok, I'll talk to him ok? I'll tell him that you just need time and space, that you'll look for him when you're ready." He said rubbing my back soothingly, I shook my head and slowly pulled away.

"He's not gonna wait for someone who's broken and not worth fixing! He's not gonna wait around for me when there's more guys better than me out there! I'm not worth his time..." I said looking down, Alex raised my head so that I can look at him in the eyes with his two fingers.

"You have no idea how much you're worth baby, nothing compares to you, and if he can't wait for you then he has no idea what he's missing, and if he does walk away he'll regret not staying around to witness what an amazing person you are, you're worth so much. If he does stay and wait for you give him a chance, and don't make him wait long because I can tell he means a lot to you even if you've just met. If you decide to let him go, be absolutely 100% sure that you don't want him by your side, but you can't decide that in one day so maybe you don't want him over tonight but you might want him beside you tomorrow? Or the next day, because I can tell he makes you feel calm and in a way happy, so please give him a chance I'll talk to him, think about tonight if you really don't want him there, or if you do, I'll tell him that you will text him to let him know he can come over and cuddle with you, because you definitely need cuddles and I'm gonna be too busy cuddling my boyfriend." He trying to lighten up the mood, I still have no idea what to do so maybe I do need time to think about it.

"I don't want to waste his time. I can always cuddle with Dee anyway." I said with a bit of doubt in my voice that I hoped he didn't hear.

'Why waste his time?'

"It hurts to see you and Dee cuddle, it's sooo awkward. Even she's told you that it's awkward." He said, made me smile a bit because it's true.

'I still don't want him though...'

[A/N]

So what do you guys think?

Pls vote & comment your thoughts!

P.S

Sorry I haven't uploaded anything in a while, had some stuff going on.

-Skittles X