In Your Dreams: Chapter 34

After waiting patiently for what seemed like hours for the storm to pass, Goku decided that he had no choice but to find a more suitable shelter from the elements. The once dry space he'd taken refuge in had flooded, and the ground beneath him was wet and muddy. The rain still managed to reach him with the aid of the harsh winds, and despite his best efforts to stay warm, his soaked clothes did nothing but chill him to the bone.

Luckily the place he'd met his sons at wasn't far from his old home. He had no plans to go there, however. He had no doubt in his mind that ChiChi and Victor would be there, and he had no desire to be in their company at the moment. He had nothing against them; he just preferred to be alone.

Instead, the Saiyajin chose to return to his original home, which was within a mile of ChiChi's house. Years ago they'd built their family home next to his original dwelling; something he'd requested of his new wife. The small structure held many pleasant memories for him, and he'd wanted to be near it always, even if it wasn't a practical place to live anymore.

The two mile walk back to the small home wasn't an easy one. The storm seemed to be picking up steam with each step he took, and the wind and rain blinded him with its' intensity. Goku thought about raising his ki to help shield his body from the elements, but he feared he might attract unwanted visitors if they sensed him.

So instead, the normally short trip turned into an hour journey, and Goku couldn't help but sigh in relief when he finally spotted the small house in front of him. The Saiyajin broke into a jog to cover the last small distance and he quickly pushed open the busted door and stepped inside. He closed the door behind him to block the heavy winds and used a stone to hold it shut; the latch had rotted away long ago.

Finally out of the rain, Goku took a long and deep breath. His eyes moved over the dusty home's interior, and a small smile tugged at his lips as childhood memories of the time he spent with his Grandpa trickled back to him.

The entire house was nothing more than a single room broken up into separate living spaces. To his left there was an old wood burning stove. A heavy cooking pot still sat on the single burner, rusty with its lack of use. Straight ahead was a large wooden barrel. His Grandpa used to 'attempt' to bathe him in it, but he never made it easy. The make-shift tub looked brittle now as if it would crumble at the slightest touch. Finally Goku's eyes wandered to the old mattress he used to share with the old man. It sat alone in the corner; its' sheets thin and torn.

A wave of sadness suddenly hit the young Saiyajin, and Goku fought back the tears he felt gathering behind his eyes. What would his life be like today if he'd never gone Oozaru that night and killed his Grandfather? What would the Earth be like? Would he still be living a solitary existence here in this small cabin? Would he had ever met Vegeta or learned of his Saiyajin heritage?

Goku shook his head to dispel the sudden flood of questions. None of that mattered now, and it would do him no good to dwell over it now.

Another chill wracked the Saiyajin's body, and he once again became aware of how cold he was. Black eyes scanned the small space, and Goku sighed and moved forward to the old tub. With a small amount of reluctance he broke the brittle wood into smaller pieces and placed the timber into the stove. A small spark of ki from his finger was all it took to light the dry wood, and he had a small fire burning in no time.

Goku crouched in front of the stove for a long while, soaking up the warmth the flames provided. He could feel the blood rushing back to his face and fingers, and he brought his soaked tail in front of him in order to dry it as well.

It was nearly another hour before the Saiyajin's clothes dried enough for his body to stop shivering. Normally he would have taken the wet garments off to dry, but he had simply been too exhausted to do so.

After adding a few more pieces of wood to the fire, Goku stood and stretched. He winced at the soreness in his muscles. Outside the storm still raged, and the entire house seemed to shudder whenever a particularly strong gust of wind assaulted its' walls. At this point he doubted he'd be going anywhere until morning.

With that thought it mind Goku turned and padded over to the worn mattress. He ignored the dust that billowed into the air when he settled himself upon it and curled into a ball. Luckily for him he was asleep before his mind could begin to wander back to the days when everything had been so simple.

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Vegeta grumbled lightly under his breath as he watched the storm rage just outside the window. He'd been training inside his gravity chamber when the power had gone out, and when the back-up generators failed to kick in after a few minutes, the prince had had no choice but to return to the main building to bitch at Bulma.

Unfortunately, the woman was unable to solve the problem. Apparently lightening had struck the cities main power grid and fried the entire system. It would be hours before it could be repaired.

At first Vegeta wasn't terribly bothered by the inconvenience. He had other ways... or rather, people, who could keep him entertained. However, upon searching Capsule Corp and scanning the surrounding area for his mate's ki, it became painfully obvious that Kakarotto wasn't anywhere nearby.

The younger Saiyajin hadn't said a word to him about leaving, and so he had no idea where to even begin looking for the man. Currently his power level was suppressed, and though this didn't really alarm Vegeta, it annoyed him. If his mate was in distress he would have known one way or another, so that meant Goku was simply hiding. The older Saiyajin had taken note of the other man's change in demeanor ever since their conversation that morning concerning the sexual abuse that had taken place in the lab. It didn't surprise him that Kakarotto had reacted the way he had, but it bothered Vegeta that his mate didn't feel he could come to him for emotional support rather than dealing with it on his own.

So now, with the storm raging outside and Goku's ki untraceable, the prince had no choice but to sit and wait; something he was not good at doing. It was going to be a long night.

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Goku had fallen into a deep slumber, one that hadn't been particularly restful considering he was plagued with nightmares. Faceless men surrounded and mocked him, threatening him with pain and feeding on his doubts and fears. Images from his most horrific experiences with Dr. Villa played in his mind's eye over and over again, leaving him thrashing and sweating as he struggled to fight off the painful memories.

The Saiyajin was so deeply asleep that he failed to notice the door being pushed open. His body instinctively curled tighter when the cold and wet wind swept over him, but he still did not wake. He failed to notice the footsteps that approached him, or the sinking of the mattress when a body settled on the edge of it.

He did notice, whoever, when a warm hand settled on his forehead. Black eyes snapped open and Goku growled as his body instinctively recoiled away from the strange touch and slammed into the weakened wall beside the bed. The Saiyajin's tail fluffed as he bared white canines and curled his fingers into claws in a defensive display.

''Goku!''

The familiar voice sent a wave of awareness through Goku, and he blinked away the remnants of his sleep as he became fully aware of his surroundings. The room was darker than when he'd fallen asleep, but in the flickering light from the dying fire Goku could see the tense figure of ChiChi sitting on the edge of the bed. Behind her stood Victor, who must have moved forward to shield his wife against any possible attack from the disoriented Saiyajin. The larger man had one arm wrapped around his wife and had turned her slightly in order to place himself between her and the potential threat.

Goku slid back down to the mattress from his crouched position as a sudden wave of guilt struck him. The two people in front of him were looking at him in the same way they would a wild animal, and the hairs in the back of the Saiyajin's neck prickled at the very thought that his former wife might view him as such.

''I'm sorry, ChiChi. You startled me...'' he croaked, his throat sore from his cold.

He lowered his eyes to the sheets below him as Victor slowly moved back to stand behind ChiChi, who was now smiling gently at him from her spot of the bed.

''It's ok. I should have tried to wake you before I touched you. You were having a nightmare.''

Goku nodded and looked away to the side as his tail curled against his body. He felt ashamed for the way he reacted. He needed to learn that it was no longer necessary to be so violent and defensive. Those days were behind him now.

When the silence between the two parties became too thick, ChiChi spoke again.

''I saw the smoke from your fire from the house. I didn't know of anyone else beside you who would be here, so I thought I'd come over to see what was wrong. What are you doing out here in this weather?''

Goku fidgeted for a moment before he finally allowed himself to look at ChiChi. He relaxed a little when he saw genuine concern in her eyes, and he had the sudden urge to tell her everything; from his visit with Gohan to his insecurities about his relationship with Vegeta. However, when his gaze moved to Victor, the words caught in his throat. He didn't know that man and he wasn't comfortable with him. There was no way he'd allow this human to see more weakness from him than he already had.

ChiChi seemed to know exactly what he was thinking though, and she smiled at him before turning to her current husband.

''Victor, I hate to ask you to go back out in the rain, but I need to speak with Goku alone. Do you mind?''

Victor, obviously being a smart man, knew when ChiChi was telling him rather than asking; even if it was in the form of a question. He nodded and moved to the door, pausing for a moment before he left.

''I'll make some hot tea. It'll be ready if either of you want any.''

After he'd gone ChiChi turned back the Saiyajin and reached out for him.

''Come sit by the fire. Your clothes are still damp and your skin is freezing.''

Goku sighed and took the woman's hand, allowing her to pull him from the mattress and lead him to the warmth of the fire. After adding more wood to the flames they both settled themselves as comfortably as they could on the floor.

''So what's going on, Goku?''

The Saiyajin's eyes settled on the shadows that flickered across the floor, and he took a moment to gather his courage before speaking.

''I saw Gohan today...'' he paused, but ChiChi remained silent. ''He... he doesn't think Vegeta loves me. He thinks he's only trying to control me.''

He could feel rather than see ChiChi's frown.

''Do you believe that?''

The Saiyajin thought about it for a moment. ''I think part of me does. Vegeta always used to spout about how inferior I was to him; that my third class blood made me nothing more than a low level soldier. He told me once that I was only born to serve him.''

''That was years ago. Vegeta was very angry and confused back then, Goku. You used to tell me that. I remember when I used to get so angry when he'd insult you and call you names; but you would always smile and tell me he didn't mean it. You insisted Vegeta only said those things because he was insecure and that was the only way he knew how to communicate with people...''

ChiChi paused when Goku chuckled bitterly and turned to look at her. ''I only said those things to reassure myself Vegeta didn't hate me as much as he said he did. It was all to make me feel better.''

The dark haired woman's mouth dropped open, but no words escaped her lips. The stunned reaction only made the Saiyajin laugh as he moved to lie on his back. Dark eyes glared at the ceiling, and ChiChi was shocked by the amount of bitterness the other's voice held.

''Sometimes I think Vegeta keeps me around now because he's revealing in the fact I'm so much weaker than he is. Even when we spar I feel like he's holding back; like he doesn't want me to get any stronger. And then last night...''

Goku paused when he felt his face turn bright red.

ChiChi moved forward and brushed her fingers through his hair in a comforting gesture. ''Go ahead. I won't judge you.''

The Saiyajin swallowed hard and closed his eyes to spare himself from seeing the woman's reaction. ''Last night we... you know...and he...I was drunk at the time... but when I woke up and remembered... I felt dirty, ChiChi. He pinned me down in the dirt and made me say I was his; like I was some pet!''

ChiChi remained silent for a moment as Goku's hand moved to cover his eyes. She watched as his tail thrashed beside him like an agitated snake. Though she had only gotten bits and pieces of the story, she felt she had a pretty good understanding of what had happened.

''Goku, I can't say for sure because I wasn't there, but maybe... maybe you don't understand why Vegeta did what he did.''

She waited a moment to make sure the man wouldn't become angry, and when he made no move to object, she continued.

''I think you were right when you said Vegeta is insecure. It seems to me maybe he wanted to hear you say you were his because HE needed to hear it from your mouth. He's trying to hold onto you, Goku, not tie you down. I think deep down he's afraid you're going to disappear again.''

ChiChi smiled when the Saiyajin's tail finally stilled, and she knew he was seriously considering her words.

''When you left with the dragon we were all devastated; even Vegeta. He showed it differently than the rest of us though. He cursed your very name and spat insults whenever you came up in a conversation... But Bulma told me he stopped training after you left.''

Goku finally dropped the hand that had been covering his eyes and looked at his ex in shock. Vegeta stopped training? That was unheard of! The other Saiyajin cared about nothing more than his own strength... so why?

''We think he stopped training because he no longer had to prove himself to you. You weren't there.''

''He never had to prove anything to me...''

ChiChi grinned. ''We knew that, but Vegeta saw it differently. We never asked him for fear of being blown away... but we think he had begun to see you as a potential mate and felt he needed to be on your level of strength to prove he was worthy of being with you.''

Goku sat up abruptly, and this time it was his mouth that dropped open. ''Are... are you serious? Vegeta didn't think he was good enough for ME? I always thought I wasn't worth HIS time!''

ChiChi laughed and patted the man on the arm. ''You two are adorable! You've known each other for decades and still know so little about the other. Goku, Vegeta loves you. He's just not sure if you love him.''

Goku felt his throat constrict at those words. He suddenly felt as if he'd shrunk. To think, he'd actually doubted Vegeta's intentions.... had thought so badly about his own mate and had even considered leaving him because of his own insecurities. How selfish! How stupid!

A slight tug on his bangs brought the Saiyajin's attention back to ChiChi.

''Don't you dare beat yourself up! We all make mistakes and we all have misunderstandings. The best thing now is to go back to Vegeta and get all this out in the open, ok?''

Goku chuckled at the motherly tone his ex used to speak to him, and he suddenly felt as if nothing had changed between then since he'd left.

''But before you go...'' ChiChi continued, ''Let's go get some of that tea.''

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Being inside a house free of drafts and with actual heating proved to do Goku some good. ChiChi had given in a spare gi of Gohan's she'd kept, and though it was a little big on him, it was dry. Now he sat at the kitchen table sipping at the hot drink Victor had provided; and he had to admit, the man made good tea.

For awhile they had all sat in comfortable silence, making the occasional small talk here and there. It was a pleasant experience, but it didn't last long.

''Goku...''

The Saiyajin blinked and looked up from his cup. He was confused by the slight blush that had settled on ChiChi's face.

''You know when you told me about what happened last night with Vegeta... I think what he was doing was...'' she paused to cough. ''Doggy-style.''

Goku nearly jumped out of his seat when Victor suddenly spewed a mouthful of tea across the room. The man choked and sputtered before whipping his head around to stare at his wife with wide eyes.

''Chi! What...''

The dark-haired woman glared at him, though her face remained red. ''I think he should know, Victor! You taught me these things, so I think it's only fair Goku knows!''

The Saiyajin sat with his head slightly cocked to one side as he watched the exchange, and when both sets of eyes turned on him, he felt a chill race up his spine.

''Goku,'' ChiChi continued. ''What Vegeta did wasn't meant to be demeaning to you... It's just another... uh... position....''

For a long moment Goku didn't have a clue what the woman meant, but slowly, very slowly, his mind registered exactly what it was she was referring to. His face flared into such a bright red that it rivaled ChiChi's.

''I'm not trying to embarrass you!'' the woman quickly said, ''I just know you and I were completely inexperienced and had no idea about these things... I think you'd feel more comfortable if... you know.... I filled you in. Vegeta might appreciate it too...''

''Oh, Kami...'' Victor muttered as he covered his eyes with his hand.

Goku, still desperately attempting to fight off his furious blush, turned the information over in his head. He knew he had little experience with this sort of thing... and rather than be confused and surprised when Vegeta tried something new, he'd rather be prepared. And besides, ChiChi was right.... the prince would probably be pleasantly surprised if Goku could do a few things to HIM.

So, with a shy smile, Goku nodded for the woman to continue.

To be continue...