A/N: Heelloooo friends, i have overcome this massive crippling stump and hopefully can smash out the last few chapters!!! All completely unedited first drafts ofc. 

Just a note: I have edited the previous chapter to remove some of what Chanyeol has disclosed. I removed everything about his dad except for the flashback - basically all Haneul knows is about the earthquake during his time in Afghanistan and that the news stated that all soldiers returned home (meaning no disclosure/news of his disappearance). Also about his TBI, restricted oxygen to brain and not receiving medical aid in time, resulting in a coma. Haneul has lots more questions than answers. 

Other than that, please enjoy this next chapter and thanks for your understanding <3333 

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The night passed so slowly, trapped in a semi-conscious state somewhere between dreams and a reality where I tossed and turned all night. Every time I moved, I would feel Chanyeol's arms tighten around me, and his leg would curl over each of mine as if to keep me grounded. Rather than the support I knew he intended, I felt like I had been trapped with the last embers of what once was a raging furnace. Sometimes my dreams would blend into my consciousness, and I would not know whether the violent quakes were real. I became paralyzed with fear. As much as I longed to protect Chanyeol from the potential devastation, my body was no longer mine to control and I had no choice but to take comfort in the fact that he did not stir. All I could do was grip the bed as I lay panicked and rigid, praying that I would not fall off from the edge of the world.

I woke drenched in sweat, but still wrapped protectively within Chanyeol's embrace. The memory of the quakes flashed through my mind, and I saw the collapse of buildings and the curdling screams of innocent victims. The shaking last night was silent beyond my own palpitating heart and ragged breaths, but this memory seemed to come from a foreign location. Was I remembering what I saw in Afghanistan? The fear and panic I endured last night did not seem to subside even now. I tried to swallow, but my mouth was dry.

"Hmm, Haneul?" Chanyeol murmured, pulling me tight against him as he stretched. "You are shaking." My eyes clenched shut as I attempted to self-soothe. As I did so, Chanyeol shifted until I could sense him above me, and kissed my forehead. The warm softness of his lips caused a tingle to run down my spine, alleviating some of the fear left in my soul.

Turning my head to face him, Chanyeol's eyes were still closed and his facial muscles were relaxed. The only vague sign that he was conscious was the very subtle furrow between his brows. Seeing him so peacefully quelled many storms in my heart, that it almost immediately eased the tension throughout my body until I ceased shaking. As soon as I noticed this change within myself, the minor furrow in his brows relaxed and his breathing turned heavy. It seemed that he fell quickly back to sleep.

After what felt like a sleepless night, I felt crushed by the weight of exhaustion – and yet I could not stay in bed for a moment longer. My thoughts raced at immeasurable speeds, so fast that I could not cope with them nor keep up. Confusion, anxiety, so many questions... I was overwhelmed by restlessness and could not help but dwell on the matters.

I etched my way out of Chanyeol's arms and slowly slid out from the bed, careful so as not to wake him. He spent a great deal of time caring for me when I became blinded with a crippling headache. He had called a House Doctor to tend to me, but my condition had already improved before he got here. I was able to talk Chanyeol out of sending him here. Instead, he tended to me all night, getting me a hot drink to relax my nerves, providing me with water and pain relief, and massaging my head and temples until I drifted to sleep. Chanyeol worked hard for me and deserved to be well rested this morning.

The floor creaked as soon as my foot touched the ground, but Chanyeol did not stir. Relieved, I continued my way out of the room and gently pulled the door closed behind me. In hopes of clearing my mind, I set to work on preparing breakfast for us both. Since I was never too clever with meal preparation as both Chanyeol and Father-in-law enjoyed cooking more than me, many of the ingredients in the fridge and pantry were too advanced for me. I decided to settle on a simple Western breakfast with egg, toast, and avocado.

Even as I cooked, my mind kept wandering to those flashbacks and the knowledge that I had seen my biological father back during my deployment in Afghanistan. He had abandoned me so early in my life, yet still interfered when it suited him by telling lies to separate me from my lover. What did he seek to gain by keeping my condition and location a secret from them? In what way did he benefit from keeping us apart?

My overthinking was met with another dull ache in my head. I clenched my eyes shut and willed the discomfort to pass, but it lingered instead. Further flashes of memories infiltrated my mind, of torrential sandstorms blowing from the ground up as buildings collapsed around me. People ran for their lives, often stumbling, while many could not pick themselves up again. The rolling ground was thunderous in its might, as all of us who lived victim to this tragedy struggled to stay upright.

A man speaking Arabic blared through city megaphones while emergency sirens wailed through the dusty air. Children of the streets curled on the ground with their hands over their heads while adults hurried passed them. The tone and ring of the sirens changed, and the sound of a male speaking Korean infiltrated the haunting sirens and Arabic children pleading for help. The ringing grew louder and sharper, causing my headache to intensify triple fold. I dropped low and covered my ears, but the sound quickly stopped, and arms pulled me down against a warm but firm surface.

"Haneul!" Chanyeol called out, and the vision of sand and terror began to dissipate. Instead, my watering eyes started to sting, and smoke filled my throat and burned my lungs. "Haneul, you are safe now. Wake up, you're safe."

Clinging to Chanyeol, I coughed out the smoke and buried my face into clothes. His hand rubbed my back furiously, constantly consoling me and trying to bring me out of this day-terror. It seemed that I had fallen victim to my own memory, and consequently left the eggs unattended on the stove. My rapid breathing could not be slowed, and the more I panicked, the faster and more inconsolable I became.

"It's okay," he murmured into my ear, holding me tightly as he continued stroking my back. "Take deep breaths for me. It's okay, know that you are safe."

After my rapid breathing finally began to settle, I started coughing out the discomfort in my lungs. The smoke was already clearing, and I soon started noticing the loud humming of some sort of machine. I looked around before discovering straight vents on the ceiling for the first time. It appeared to work like a fan, helping to ventilate the room from the smoke.

"The fire-"

"I've already taken care of it," he said, still stroking my back. "It's okay. Just take your time to collect yourself. I'm here with you."

Some time passed before I truly settled, and Chanyeol did not move for the entire duration of my panic attack. I remained in his lap, truly comforted by his soothing voice and the sweet nothings he murmured to bring my mind some peace. It was strange that last night, I had a flashback of seeing my father in the military without knowing any backstory behind it. Why did I remember him first before the earthquake? These memories were jumbled and made no sense to me, but the second flashback was enough to reduce me to terror.

"I'm fine now," I said, pulling away from Chanyeol so that his arms loosened around me.

"Are you sure?" he asked, gazing at me with evident concern.

"I think so," I said and began to stand. Although my head pounded so mercilessly that I feared I might collapse again, I extended my hand to help Chanyeol to his feet. I had to somehow prove that I was strong enough to handle this information, so that anything he withheld from me now, he might reconsider with time.

Chanyeol walked me to the couch and set me down before kissing my forehead and offering to call room service for breakfast. By the time our food arrived, Chanyeol had already prepared us a hot chocolate and we sat down together to eat. We sat eating in silence except for the quiet murmur of the television on a random adventure channel. It showed video footage of some famous sites around the world. Although I had a very poor appetite now, the documentary of France and other famous locations intrigued me deeply.

Those thoughts of escaping; of packing my bag and seeing the world just as Jaemin suggested made a lot more sense. For the first time, I felt myself deliberating her suggestions almost as strongly as my will to remain at Chanyeol's side. If the opportunity presented itself, did I have the will to walk away? Could I go to see the world?

As if noticing my piquing interest, Chanyeol turned his head to gaze at me. "I don't know if I have witnessed such light in your eyes since meeting again," he said. "Do you want to travel?"

I felt reluctant to respond, as if confirming his suspicion would somehow betray him. But if I left, then of course I would have to face this reality sooner or later. So I nodded. "Yes," I said. "There is such beauty in the world that I have yet to see. Did you ever get the chance?"

Chanyeol nodded. "I travelled for work in the past as a financial business consultant and was afforded the opportunity to frequent many of these sites in my spare time."

I looked at him in amazement. "How did you become a consultant?" I asked. "Maybe I can do that, too."

"You are in such a hurry to leave me?" Chanyeol asked, though I could tell by his expression that he was only teasing me. Still, the question taunted me.

"I cannot bear to leave you," I admitted. "If I could have both you and the liberty to travel, study, and become somebody equal to you - only then could I be satisfied."

Chanyeol grinned and put his arm around me, then pulled me in for a closed-mouth kiss. It took me by surprise because I was in the process of slowly chewing my food. I quickly swallowed in case he wanted a real kiss, but he pulled his arm away and continued eating.

"Knowing what I know now," he said, staring down at his food as he gently stabbed at it with his fork, "I will always acknowledge you as my equal. We have been this way since young, so I see no reason why it should change now."

"That is the most beautiful lie to romanticize this tragedy," I said deftly. "I am an uneducated nineteen-year-old in the body of a fully adult, grown man."

Chanyeol chuckled. "Your mental age became strikingly evident to me just then, simply for thinking that aged twenty-six is a grown adult. Even when you reach this mental age, you will still feel a stranded, drowning child. That does not change as you mature; only your responsibilities grow along with the necessity to adapt to these additional stressors and manage them. However, I do hear that it gets better in your thirties and forties, so we have at least that to look forward to."

I could not help but groan. "To hear this from a successful and established businessman really dampens my hopes."

Chanyeol laughed joyously this time, warming my soul at the very sight of his glimmering eyes. "Not at all, not at all. You were always the bright and innovative one between us. If anyone has the capacity to mature first, it will be you long before it becomes me. If you want to study and travel, then that is what you will do."

I put my plate down on my lap and looked at him with confusion. "I have no money or belongings to my name. I doubt even my old bank account still exists. How can I do either of those things?"

"You needn't have either of those to do the things you want, Haneul. I will make it all happen for you."

"How can you?" I asked. "Are you some multimillionaire or something?"

Chanyeol's brows raised. "You couldn't tell?"

I felt my face visibly drain of colour. "Umm..."

He laughed again. "I am perfectly well off," he said. "I can afford to take time off and go travelling with you to your heart's content."

"Go with me?" I asked.

"Of course," he said, face growing stern. "Did you think I would let you out of my sight for even a moment?"

Blood flooded back into my face. He was beginning to act like a protective, possessive boyfriend. Were his romantic feelings towards me strong enough to feel this way or was I just being too optimistic? Chanyeol lifted his hand and slowly stroked my cheek. "We can go together whenever you are ready, and travel to your heart's content. We can even find a degree that you may be interested in and I'll ensure you can study correspondence while we are abroad."

"Are you being serious?" I asked.

"Of course," he said. "You wanted to catch up with me, right? Who am I to stop you?"

"But do you even..." Love me? I couldn't finish my own sentence because I was too afraid of the answer. He may still be stuck in the past, attached to the me from his memories. It was still too early for me to tell, and he had not yet told me he loved me. It was too early to get my hopes up just yet. My heart would not be able to handle such rejection.

"Hmm?" he asked, looking into my eyes with intent. "No objections, then?" he asked when I said nothing else.

I felt reluctant, like this was too good to be true, but I could not help but feel my heart overflow and saturate with so much love and hope. As much as I hated myself for being so weak against him, I nodded. "Nothing would make me happier."

Chanyeol smiled and moved in for another kiss, but his phone briskly interrupted the moment. He leaned back, frowning as he dug his hand into his pocket to retrieve his phone. He took a moment's glance at his screen before answering the call.

"What?" he asked. The voice on the other end was loud but muffled, so I could hear a male voice but could not recognize it nor make out what they were saying. "Did I not make it clear that I am unavailable today? You do not need me there, you are already well equipped to go and represent the company on my behalf... Then I will personally contact the CEO and inform him of this, myself."

Chanyeol glowered and pinched the bridge of his nose with frustration. "Fine. I will attend the first night. We will fly off together this afternoon, and then I leave again first thing in the morning. You will carry out all further duties on my behalf for the duration of the project. Are we clear?" Chanyeol ended the phone call and shoved his phone back into his pocket. "For God's sake," he muttered.

"You have to leave?" I asked.

"Just for the night," he said. "I promise I will be back before you have a chance to miss me."