Haneul slept through the morning, quietly breathing beside me with slightly parted lips. It jarred me to see how little he had changed over the years when I'd spent them all wondering if I'd even recognize him, should we ever cross paths again. His eyebrows scrunched sometimes, and other times he'd murmur intelligible words in his sleep, but otherwise appeared restful through the night.

To see him lying beside me so vulnerable and unguarded, I was reminded that I was his chosen person. The person he trusted above everyone else, the person whose opinion he held in higher regard than anyone else, the person who held the deepest part of his heart more than anybody else; just as he had always been that person to me.

The doorbell rang, making my body tense. I glanced at my watch to read it was barely nine AM, and quickly looked back at Haneul to ensure he hadn't woken. Six hours sleep would not be sufficient rest after all that he'd endured since yesterday. I climbed out of bed as quietly as I could, placing urgency on reaching the doorbell before whoever it was decided to ring again.

"Good morning, Mr. Han," Ms. Lee bowed, one of the two receptionists who were involved with Haneul's arrest. "I recognize my mistake yesterday and have ordered a breakfast buffet to reflect my sincerest apologies."

This is why she rang my doorbell so early in the morning? She was fortunate that Haneul had managed to sleep through the sound or else my reception of her this morning might have gone enormously different. "Is that all?" I asked, folding my arms as I stared down at her. "That could have been an email."

Her eyes widened with embarrassment. "Oh, my apologies," she said, bowing again profusely. "It's just that I have it here with me now."

As she pulled the trolley into my view, I stepped aside and allowed her to bring it through the door. She appeared to look around my apartment in astonishment. Before she could remark on it, I watched her quite sternly to ensure she didn't say anything out of line. What I did with my apartment was purely related to me. She seemed to get the hint, sheepishly narrowing her lips tightly.

"Are you done?" I asked.

"Ah, yes, Mr. Han."

"Good," I said. "Now remember this: Mr. Haneul Bom should be always treated with utmost respect, even more so than me. Anybody who causes undue stress on him will see themselves out of a job very quickly."

"Nonsense," Haneul said, and I watched Ms. Lee's eyes widen at the same time Haneul's footsteps approached behind me. "I apologize for his sternness, Miss," he said with a courteous bow. I was awestruck by how lovely he looked in one of my long sleeve shirts that hung around his delicate thighs. "In fact, it relieves me to know that you have protected him so well. Thank you for putting my mind at ease."

Ms. Lee's face relaxed into a relieved smile and returned his bow. "Of course, Mr. Bom." She glanced behind him around the room, this time appearing more confident to speak her thoughts with Haneul around. "This apartment's condition doesn't look so bad even though that we haven't been able to send anyone in yet. We will confirm a time for contractors to come and make necessary repairs to this property."

"And perhaps somebody to safely dispose of the broken pieces," Haneul said. "They're packed into bags and set aside in the kitchen."

I glanced around at the floors, noticing that everything had been cleaned of the mess I'd left behind. Did Haneul clean it all before he left yesterday? The thought of him picking up glass shards pricked at my sense of guilt. What if he'd hurt himself? It'd have been my fault. He'd exerted himself even more than I'd thought yesterday. I had so much to make up for.

"Of course," she said.

It seemed that as well as his looks, his soft and compassionate heart had not changed over these years either. As he thanked Ms. Lee for the food and saw her off, I was moved by his tenderness that did not discriminate between any person nor situation. Being beside him like this felt like I had stepped into the past, back into a time that was left untouched by the cruel hands of fate.

Haneul gently closed the door and turned to look at me, smiling meekly. "Your people skills have gotten worse over the years," he said.

"It lost its purpose some time ago," I said, deciding to be vague rather than blame an older lover who held no guilt. Every feeling of happiness and joy had carried into the air like a draft until they disappeared into the wind forever. Now I'd built such a cold and stoic persona, anything short of this would feel like a lie. Even with his return, I didn't know if I could ever laugh as carefree as we did in the past. His return was nothing more than a flimsy bandage on an open wound.

Haneul stood awkwardly, holding his arm with a sheepish smile. I hated how uncomfortable and awkward he looked, but the only consolation I could offer would come across as cheap and superficial at best. As he stood there glancing at his feet, his eyes darted to the trolley and appeared relieve to have been met with this visual cue. He darted his hands over the handle and pushed it to the table.

"Shall we eat?" he asked, looking eagerly back at me.

I came over to the table and moved the trolley away from him. His disappointment lasted for all but a moment before I pulled a chair out for him. "Sit," I said.

Haneul looked up at me with star-stricken eyes. He looked so much smaller compared to me now than when we were nineteen. Having spent years abusing my body with unrelenting fitness regimes, I'd worked hard to ensure I exuded absolute power, only to show that I could not be deceived twice. It was a futile attempt to rid him from my heart and mind; one which could so easily be upturned in a single day upon his return. He sat down and waited patiently while I set all of the trolley's contents down in front of him.

"These look incredible," he said, exhaling deeply to take in the smell. "And smells it, also."

I served his food into dishes and fetched some cutlery, then sat down at his side just so I could watch him eat. His childlike excitement reminded me of the past. He started to dig into the meal with a few quick spoonful's but slowed down to a halt and looked at me reluctantly.

"What's the matter?" I asked.

"Um, aren't you going to eat?" he asked. "It feels a bit awkward with you just watching me like this."

"I don't eat breakfast," I said, then gestured to the food. "But please, help yourself."

He took another mouthful but appeared to contemplative to concentrate on the food. He put the spoon back down and looked at me again. "You really don't eat breakfast?" he asked. "You were always hounding me about it being the most important meal of the day."

"That was some time ago," I said lightly, trying not to let the conversation get too heavy. "I'm satisfied just watching you eat. Please, keep going."

Haneul turned back to his spoon but made no effort to eat, instead, slow and absentmindedly swirled it around inside his bowl. I wondered if there were a great deal of things weighing on his mind, just as there were on mine. There were so many things left unsaid that neither one of us knew where to lift off. Time was already so fragile, yet here we sat letting it waste away. Silence ensued between us before he finally pushed his bowl away.

"Actually," he said hesitantly, "I'm not so hungry."

"You should eat," I said, pushing his bowl back in front of him. "You need to get your health and strength back and you can't do that without feeding your body."

He glanced meekly at me then down at my empty hands, then back to his food.

"I can't eat now," he said. "Maybe soon."

There were plain bread rolls amongst the assortment of food, that I supposed were meant to be dipped into the soup I'd served for him. In case he perhaps lacked the necessary motivation to eat, I broke a small loaf into two halves and extended one to him before taking a bite of the other one. He wore a look of relief as he accepted it then took a small bite and chewed softly.

"It's good," he murmured.

"It is," I agreed.

Looking out the windows, I could see dark rain clouds rolling towards us in the distance. It was evident that we were going to be in for a gloomy day, so any conversations we had might fall onto even heavier hearts. Haneul seemed to notice this too as he looked out and sighed. The direct daylight falling on his eyes made them glimmer with life. He looked so tired, but still so beautiful as he slowly chewed his bread, with his mind clearly somewhere else. He swallowed the last bite and looked towards my bedroom door.

"I should contact Jaemin," he said and moved to stand, but I put my hand in front of his chest and guided him back down to his seat.

"I'll get your phone," I said, and stood up instead.

There was a message on his screen that I couldn't help myself from reading. It appeared to be an appointment booking with his neurologist, though I couldn't read the date and time without opening it. There was another one from Jaemin, reminding him to take his medication this morning. Irritated at the fact that it was about to come from her, I decided to instead just fetch his medication and hand them over myself.

Remembering that they were in his bag, I set it out on the floor and opened it up. There was a red material wrapped around what I believed to be a plastic bag, so I unwrapped it and was surprised to find that it was my sweater he'd bought me years ago. Did he try to steal it back? The contents of the bag clanked as I moved them about and pricked myself in the process. Startled, I brought my finger to my mouth and sucked on the spot where it suddenly ached.

Curiously, I peeked inside the bag and was susprised to see our broken promise mugs inside. I remember dropping them into the bin yesterday in my fit of anger, but he clearly wished to retrieve these things which had always held sentimental value. Is that why he took my sweater? Did he think I would dispose of it too, even after telling me the truth? As I lifted the plastic fully out of his bag so I could continue rummaging for his medication, Haneul came through the bedroom door and snatched it from my hand.

"Don't touch that!" he said, clinging to it in desperation. "You don't need to throw them; I'll keep them instead." Then he noticed the red sweater I still had in my hand and visibly paled. "Did... did you want that?"

I tried not smile as I got back up to my feet. Instead of asking why I was going through his bag, he was more concerned about me taking away these precious items he managed to retrieve. He looked nervously at me as I closed the space between us until we were almost touching. I held his hands and raised them above his head before pulling the shirt down on top of him. He stared at me the entire time, until I finally guided his hands back down to his sides.

"It doesn't fit me anymore," I said. "You are free to wear it as much as you want, but only here when you are in my house." He slowly turned to face one of the mirrors, letting his eyes glide down the sight of himself. He sighed deeply then looked at me through the reflection. "What did you need from my bag?" he asked.

"I was going to bring your medication," I said, handing him his phone.

He nodded, accepting my response without question.

My phone started to ring, so I turned away and answered it.

"Yes, Mr. Kim," I said, feeling a pang of guilt for not having phoned him earlier.

"You're not coming in today?" he asked. "Are you unwell?"

"No," I said. "Something came up. Sorry for the late notice, but I'll be leaving things in your capable hands today."

"Is it––" he paused momentarily, as if deciding if he should continue to speak. "Is it because of your ex-lover?"

"Boundaries," I reminded him firmly. "My private life is only my concern. Report back to me before the end of your shift. End shift at three today. Anything that isn't done, leave it on my desk."

"Understood," he said, though I could detect the despondence in his voice. I tried to brush away those feelings of guilt, reminding myself that I never promised him anything.

"Was that your lover?" Haneul asked, making me jolt when I realized he was listening behind me.

I turned around. "No. Go sit while I clear the table. I imagine people will be here soon to start working on the repairs."

Haneul shook his head. "I'll help­­––"

"Haneul," I said, firmly cutting him off. "Take your pills and sit down."

He walked past me to the same place where he sat before and sighed, shaking two tablets into his hand before swallowing them back with some soup. "Done," he said. "Now I'll help."

I exhaled through my nose, amazed that I would forget how stubborn he could be. After storing the food away and having reception remove the trolley, we sat in silence for a while, watching the rain clouds draw closer. Soon, small patters of rain began hitting the windows.

I couldn't help but glance at Haneul, noting his soft and delicate features as he gazed out at the clouds. His hair had grown so much longer that it almost reached his eyes, though he swept it to the side so it would not bother him. I wanted to know everything. How much he remembered before his accident, why I was never contacted, and how I never knew he was right under my nose despite holding the position of Finance Director at the hospital. I wanted to know everything he knew.

We spent wasted so many precious minutes as they ticked by. Both too scared to open the doors to our past, and both uncertain of what we would find amidst the cruel passages of time. Rather than saying all that needed to be said, we sat here wasting and idling through the present as if it was ours to waste at all. If I didn't speak soon then these moments might be swept away from me again, and I might lose Haneul for yet another lifetime.

The dreary weather outside made it feel like an entire day had passed while we sat here withering in our unspoken words, even though it was still early hours of the morning. These clouds that casted shadows through the room seemed to foreshadow darker clouds that would loom over us tonight. Just in case this uncomfortable feeling was a premonition of things to come, I hoped that today would last forever instead.