As Vrishaketu walked through the gardens, unable to keep himself from mulling over his grandparents' words, he bumped into someone.

They slipped and shrieked in a feminine voice and he managed to catch their--her hand and pull her up before she fell.

It was a girl around his age--maybe an year or so older and the poor thing was dressed in ochres along with the all too common Widow's white.

"I'm sorry Devi--"

He cut off as he took in all the gold that she was wearing.

Right. She was clearly nobility and if she was living in the Palace then she must be Royalty. As he had not heard of any guests from other Kingdoms coming here.... it could only be Princess Uttara.

"Ah Princess, I apologise."

"No, its quite alright."

And suddenly Vrishaketu felt very awkward. Should he offer to escort her wherever she needed going? That would be the gentlemanly thing to do. But how could he, when the reason she was in the colours that she wore now was partially due to his father?

Well, he wouldn't waste her time with apologies(unlike certain stupid Pandava Princes) because he knew perfectly well that apologies didn't make one whit of a difference in these situations where you could offer no recompense along with your apology. They only made you seem pitiful as you tried to show how upset you were about something you had done that had caused pain someone else life. As if the person offering the apology could ever come close to offering any solace. And when no solace could be offered, the apologies only seemed insulting.

Alright, he might be projecting a bit, but whatever. He was certain she didn't want to hear useless apologies from him.

"Um..." Uttara said and Vrishaketu realised that he had been staring intensely at her the whole time. Heavens, that was so unseemly.

Well he might as well offer to escort her wherever she needed going, just to be polite. She would refuse and then they would go on their ways.

"Ah, is there somewhere specific you were going Princess? I might be able to escort you."

She raised her eyebrows as any normal person would. The corners of her lips twitched. But then, unlike any normal person she said, "I mean, I was only going to my favourite section of Pitamahi Gandhari's gardens but certainly, you can escort me."

Wait. What? Why would she agree?! She was supposed to refuse!

She looked a him expectantly as he gaped at her. Well. He had just put his foot in his mouth there, hadn't he?

So he walked with her, all the while feeling more awkward than ever.

They moved to the section of the Palace Garden that Pitamahi Gandhari often tended to, herself, and then Princess Uttara moved to sit on one of the stone seats carved near the fountain.

Vrishaketu hovered for a while before opening his mouth in an attempt to excuse himself but then the Princess said, "Will you sit with me for a while?"

When he stared dumbly at her, she added "Please. It might nice to just sit with someone who is not way older than me."

And at this point it would just be far to rude to refuse the lady, so feeling somewhat uncomfortable, he sat down on the seat beside her.

"How have you been Rajkumar?"

He turned to her, startled.

"I mean.... since the war ended.... none of us have been fine. But how... how have you been coping up?" She asked, her voice growing timid a the last part of her sentence.

What. No, seriously, what.

First of all, he did not know this girl. At all. Secondly, his father had unfortunately been part of her husband's death. 

Why was she asking him how he was coping?!

She seemed to fidget under his gaze.

Looking at her, he did not feel the familiar rage that rose up every time someone(*cough* Prince Arjun *cough*) decided to poke their nose into his grief. Looking at her he only felt sad. How could he feel angry at someone whose life of marital bliss had ended before it could even start properly due to no fault of her or her husband's? That too, when his own father had been partially responsible. And she was still trying to ask how he was coping?

"I'm... not." He admitted, surprisingly honestly. "Coping, that is. I'm just.... sort of going with the flow."

She chuckled humourlessly. 

"I suppose that's what we're all doing nowadays."

There was another awkward silence.

"I spoke to your mother once. She was nice." Princess Uttara suddenly said.

Vrishaketu blinked. "Right."

He had no idea what to say. He wished he could just get up and leave.

The Princess looked desperate as well. He couldn't understand what was the point of this anyway.

"Let's be friends." She abruptly said, out of nowhere.

"....Friends. Just like that?"

"Yes!" she exclaimed. "Please. There's no one else left from our generation. I feel so alone sometimes." She said looking down. Well, he supposed he could relate somewhat to that bit.

He shrugged. "Would you really want to be friends with me though?"

She raised her eyebrows in surprise. "Yes! Whyever not?"

"I mean... I'm kind of.... the son of... well. Your father-in-law's worst enemy. And my father also had a part in....." he trailed off.

"I'm sorry." He offered, when she didn't say anything despite the fact that he did not think a paltry, insufficient apology would make a difference, but simply because he didn't have anything else to say.

"It doesn't matter." She declared, much to his shock. What did she mean it didn't matter? 

"How can it not matter?!"

"You were not the one who had any part in killing my husband or brother or father and so I have no reason to hold anything against you."

Well, he supposed that was true.

"But you would forgive me so easily?"

Princess Uttara frowned. "No, I would not forgive you at all, because there is nothing to forgive. Like I said, you have personally caused no harm to me. So will you be my friend?"

"Uh... are you sure nobody will mind?"

"Mind?! Who will mind?"

"I don't know.... your family?"

She sighed. "No our family will not mind."

Vrishaketu immediately stiffened and clearly Uttara realised that being included in her side of the Kuru family was not exactly what he wanted right then.

"Never mind that," she said hurriedly, "but no, no one will care."

"Fine." He sighed. "If you think you can tolerate me and my short temper."

"I can try I suppose, as long as you don't keep talking about archery all the time."

"Hey!" He protested weakly. "I can talk about other things."

"Yes, you will talk about other things."

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

And that was how an unlikely, or maybe not so unlikely friendship formed between Vrishaketu and Uttara.

They would walk in the gardens or mess around in either of their chambers. Uttara had initially protested to the latter saying that it might seem inappropriate but Vrishaketu had clearly said that if she wanted to be friends with him, she would have to screw inappropriateness-- not that there was anything inappropriate about two friends talking alone in a room except for what dumb, old-fashioned greybeards might think. But there was no way he was going to spend his time loitering in the corridors(where he might be accosted by unwanted Pandava Princes but he didn't say that last bit to her).

Later Vrishaketu had realised that he had been rather insensitive, especially considering that she was a widow and had apologised but she had waved him off, saying that he was kind of right.

That visit went mostly without incident after that. He spent time with his mother, Kuru Kakis, all four grandparents and now with Uttara before retuning to Anga again.

But they were back again after two weeks of course and it continued on like that and believe it or not, for the next two months he had managed to avoid any and all Pandavas. 

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

"So..." Uttara said one day as they were lounging about in her room.

"Yes?"

"You have been... understandably avoiding all my in laws. Well, the direct ones."

He stiffened and turned to glare at her.

"No, it's understandable." She hastily said.

"Then what is your point?" He gritted out.

"Just.... Pitashree really wants to talk to you. Will you give him one chance at least?"

He stood up with a dramatic swish of his angavastra. 

"Is that why you befriended me? To get me to talk to him?" He demanded and then immediately regretted it.

"How dare you!" She exclaimed, eyes blazing.

Vrishaketu sighed. "I'm sorry, I should not have said that. It's just. Please don't ask me to talk to those people."

Seeing the unhappy tilt of Uttara's lips, he tried to open up a bit more. He didn't want to, but she might get mad at him and now that he had made a friend, he didn't want to lose her.

"I just... I can't stand to look at Prince Arjun. It takes me back to the battlefield, back to the seventeenth day. I... I, feel..." He couldn't quite speak the word 'afraid' aloud. "I know it's foolish for a warrior to think like this, but I cannot face him."

To his shock Vrishaketu suddenly found his hand being tugged sharply to make him sit down again and then he was pulled into a hug.

Well. It would be more accurate  to say that he practically fell into the hug.

He blinked stupidly while she squeezed him tightly. It was... nice, but strange. He had never had a friend outside of his brothers and the Kaurava children.

"So, what is this hug for?"

"You just admitted something deeply personal to me. So that's why. Also please don't fall into the whole thing that warriors must be like unshakable rocks who can't feel fear or apprehension like normal people. That doesn't do anyone any good."

"Now you sound like my mother." He grumbled.

"She is a wise woman. I am quite happy to sound like her."

There was a pause as he slowly hugged her back.

"I will not ask you to go talk to Pitashree. But take it from a friend who also knows him very well that he really does want to just apologise to you properly once. He has no nefarious motives or anything."

"So it does not matter what I want? That is to not talk to him?"

Uttara sighed, running a hand through his hair. Alright this was way too weird. She was acting like his mother or grandmother or kakis or-- or like a sister! He remembered Lakshamanaa di hugging him like this a couple of times. Although, she was four years older than him and the last time he had seen her had been last year, an year after she got married(kidnapped). Being hugged like this by a girl so much closer to his age was weird though. (He wished he could see Lakshmanaa di again.)

"Do you not want an apology from the man who has caused you pain?" Uttara asked.

Vrishaketu pulled back. Really. Why did no one seem to get this simple thing? It was so frustrating!

 "NO! That's what I've been saying this whole time. I don't care about an apology!"

"Then what do you want?"

"I--I don't want anything. I just... I don't know." He said, realising the truth of the statement. He didn't know.

"What are you doing? How do you seem so stable most of the time?!" He asked Uttara desperately.

She shrugged. "I was in a terrible state. I still am. But right now-- right now, I'm just... sort of trying to ignore everything. It's not healthy but I fear I'll break down completely otherwise. As it is, it is an emotional time for me, but I can't be broken now of all times, otherwise...who knows what else might go wrong." She finished in a whisper, running a hand over her belly which had started to swell.

Vrishaketu winced, thinking about the terrible ordeal she had been through, of losing her child in her womb and then having him--thankfully--magically revived.

"Being friends with you and talking to you helps." She told him with a smile.

He scoffed. "I'm not emotionally stable, at all."

"No, but you're fun."

"Me, fun?!" he stared at her incredulously.

"I mean, you're usually grumpy, but the way you think about things is sometimes so different to how I or anyone I know does, that it's fun."

He mock glared at her but then smiled. "I'm glad I can help."

"Abhimanyu would have liked you." She said quietly and he suddenly felt distinctly uncomfortable.

This was the first time she had brought up her dead husband.

This was the only cruelty on the battlefield that his father had been a part of and... thinking about it sent chills down his back. He had always known his father to be merciful to his enemies. The world knew him to be merciful to his enemies, hence the name Vrisha. And yet.... The Chakravyuh and everything that happened in it.....

He didn't say anything to her declaration.

Uttara pursed her lips. 

"You have lost your father and your brothers."

Vrishaketu took a deep breath and bit down on the impulse to snap at anyone who brought it up.

"What do you want that Father can give, if not an apology?"

"Nothing, I want nothing from him! Why is he so insistent on talking with me anyway?! I don't care about any of his apologies! They don't mean anything, since he would not have apologised if the truth about my father's birth never came out!"

"Yes, but can't you see there's another reason he doesn't want you to hate him other than the fact that you are his eldest brother's son?"

Vrishaketu raised a dubious eyebrow. "And what is that?"

"He has lost all his sons as well. All my uncles have too, but you-- well. You remind Pitashree a bit of Abhimanyu, I think. And given that you are the only man of our generation of the Kuruvansh left.... I think he wants to get to know you."

"I am not a Kuruvanshi!" he barked. "I was not a Kuruvanshi as long as my father was alive, and I am not a Kuruvanshi now. So that's not a very good ulterior motive."

Uttara threw up her hands in exasperation. "Really, now. Must you always be so distrusting?! There is no ulterior motive. I was simply trying to give an explanation. And if there was an ulterior motive, don't you think he would made a move to talk to you forcefully in the last two months? But since you said you didn't want to talk to him, despite how much he wants to talk to you, he has stayed away. How can there be an ulterior motive?"

Vrishaketu looked away.

"For one thing, he's not been around much, has he?" He mumbled under his breath. Upon seeing the look on Uttara's face though, he sighed.

"I just really don't want to talk to him. I can't, don't you see?"

"Can't you listen?"

There was no way he could interact with the man as long as he somehow didn't manage to get over his fear.

You cannot get over your fear unless you face it. The fear won't simply disappear. You must achieve victory over it.

That voice in his head sounded far too much like his father. And as much as he didn't want to talk to him, there was no way he was living in fear of Prince Arjun of all people for the rest of his life. That would be greatly disrespectful to Baba.

Besides Uttara was insisting so much. And she was his friend. He would not do it for Prince Arjun, but he would do it for his friend.

"Fine." He whispered. "I will listen. Whatever he wants to say. Once."

OMG WHAT WAS THIS CHAPTER. LONGEST SO FAR. LIKE. THERE IS NO PSYCHOLOGICAL STUFF IN THIS EITHER. HOW IS IT SO LONG? And the ending is okay, right?

Whatever this is, please leave comments on what you think and leave voted if you liked!

Is Uttara's characterisation fine? Does the chapter flow properly?

Does their friendship seem too rushed? Does it seem natural?

I hope you appreciate the image at the beginning of the chap lmao. It took me so long to get the AI to make something that wasn't awful. I had another nice one, one where they actually look sad, but Vrish was wearing something like a shirt there, so it went out of the running lol.