The Empress called them in once the Dasi had announced their presence. Both she and Princess Subhadra looked rather surprised to see them.

That was only fair, Bhanumati thought, given that Subhadra had been trying to get her to come out and talk for a while now and she had insistently ignored all her attempts.

It was just. It was hard to face Empress Draupadi. On one hand she felt anger and resentment, that if only she had forgiven her husband's and Dushasan's actions and Bhrata Karna's words, then perhaps they would still be alive.

But she knew that was unfair. What they had done.... it was not really forgivable. It had taken her years to forgive her husband and it hadn't even happened to her. 

She also knew that her husband and his uncle were the ones to blame the most for his war. That even if he had only returned Indraprastha to the Pandavas after their exile, much of this devastation could have been avoided. He could still be alive. Their son, their nephews, brothers  and Bhrata Karna could still be alive.

But... what the mind logically knew often did not correspond with what the heart felt.

But she had been serious about taking matters into their own hands about helping the Widowed women of her Kingdom. Because even though she was no longer the crown princess or really in any position to take any kinds of decisions about the Kingdom, it was still her Kingdom as it had been for years. And for that she did need to talk to the Empress.

...As well as apologise. The apology definitely needed to come first.

"Come sit, didi and didi!" Princess Subhadra said immediately, getting up and ushering the two of them on the couches. She could be rather sweet, Bhanumati mused. Where she got this cheerfulness from though, after losing her son, that she could not understand.

"This is a pleasant surprise." The Empress commented. 

Bhanumati and Chandramukhi exchanged glances, Neither of them were certain of how to begin the conversation and the atmosphere was bound to turn awkward soon.

"Right so...." Bhanumati began haltingly, "I... have been sort of discourteous as of late by .... by basically ignoring you both."

"Oh no, that's fine we don't mind at all." Princess Subhadra rushed to say and then subtly elbowed the Empress when she didn't assure them of the same. 

Empress Draupadi arched an eyebrow at her co-wife before turning back to them.

"It is fine." She said. "It is understandable that you are grieving and I'm probably the last person you want to see." She added sardonically.

"No, that's Yuvraj Bheem." Chandramukhi said bluntly.

Bhanumati barely held back an inappropriate snort.

"Yes." She cleared her throat. "And well, we also owe you an apology. For-for-"

The words got stuck in her throat. It was still hard for her to spell it out. She could not imagine what the Empress must have felt. She still couldn't understand how her husband and brother in law could have done it. They had always been perfectly loving and respectful to them. Her husband had loved her, she knew. He had cared for all his sisters in law as well. Well. Sisters in law on this side of the family. So how. How could he have done so to another woman, another sister in law?

And how could Bhrata Karna of all people call her... a harlot? He had always been so kind, so loving and he had often held back Duryodhan from doing some nonsense but. But then, not only had he not tried to stop the disaster from happening, he encouraged it.

Thankfully Chandramukhi was there to pick up the apology when her words faltered.

"For our husbands' unspeakable behaviour with you."

Oh, unspeakable alright.

The Empress stared at them intensely, pursing her lips.

"I cannot forgive them."

"Of course not--"  "No one would expect you to--" They hurried to say how that was absolutely not their reason for apologising.

"There's nothing you need to apologise to me for. You did not ask them to attempt to disrobe me."

"It was. Terrible. And.... unfortunately we cannot change the past. But it's our duty to apologise."

"Ah yes, duty."

"You don't have to forgive, nobody expects that. It's just our duty to apologise--"

The Empress snorted.

Bhanumati and Chandramukhi exchanged uncertain glances.

Noticing, Princess Subhadra said, "Oh, it's just that the Queen of Anga said the same thing. Almost the exact same words."

Bhanumati nodded, unable to keep a small smile from briefly touching her lips.

"Those are some of Vrushali Jiji's patented words. 'It's okay to never forget, it's okay to not forgive, apologising even when we don't receive forgiveness is our responsibility', or some variation of the above."

"I've always said that the world would be a better place if we all lived by her principles." Chandramukhi added jokingly.

"She did seem like a sensible woman." The Empress agreed.

"And Princess Subhadra, we also apologise for our husbands' involvement Abhimanyu's death-"

"You don't have to." She said much to their surprise. "It was war. I know pretty much everyone except me thinks otherwise, but I personally do think that none of us women have any reason or duty to apologise for anything in the war. We weren't there, we couldn't have done anything."

That was. That was...um. No, Bhanumati wasn't sure she could completely agree to it even though it did make sense, but it was up to Princess Subhadra she supposed. She would have liked to have heard a few more condolences for her son, much as they didn't do anything but.... unfortunately, her son like so many others, would be lost in the sands of time.

There was an awkward silence. 

"So....there was another reason we're here."

"Yes." The Empress agreed, looking slightly amused. "What is it?"

"Well, we spoke to the Samrat about us Widows starting an-an organisation of sorts specifically to help all the Widowed women of the Kingdom who are not so fortunate as us. And since you're our Finance Minister...."

"That is a very good idea! Have you planned anything? How can we help? Other than directing the funds I mean." 

"YeS, about that......" Bhanumati awkwardly petered off.

"What is it?" The Empress asked frowning.

"I'm not sure....you should be a direct part of this."

Both Draupadi and Subhadra's faces fell.

"It's just that, several women harbour you a lot of resentment. Everyone knows what happened to you was unacceptable and they will come around, but for now....."

There was dark and bitter part of her that was somewhat glad that the Pandavas had not got immediate acceptance from the public, but she forcibly shut it away.

The Empress sighed. "I know public opinion isn't great."

"But wouldn't we be making amends by helping out?" Princess Subhadra asked. "Shouldn't that help them warm up to us a bit more."

"Maybe." Chandramukhi agreed. "Or maybe not. Maybe they might be upset to see you. We cannot telling anything now. Besides, reaction may vary from person to person."

Here was the thing. Everything they said was true. But what they didn't say was that.... None of them were sure they could work well with The Empress and the Princess Subhadra so soon after everything. And there was the fact that when Bhanumati had discussed this with her sisters in law, there was the general consensus that this was something they needed to do themselves. Not only to help the Widows displaced by war, but for their own inner peace. And if the Empress came directly on board..... it was inevitable that she would be the one handling most of it. 

And they all wanted to do something themselves. To help in someway for the destruction their husbands were at least halfway responsible for. To be useful, without.... being overshadowed.

Bhanumati wasn't sure how to politely put this into words, but she supposed she should try being partially honest at least.

"There is all this, but there is another reason." She said. "This is some we need to do. By ourselves. Without....without-" she fumbled but it seemed the other two women got it.

"It's fine." The Empress said, though she looked at them sadly.

"It's not our intention to hurt you or--"

"We understand." Princess Subhadra said. "Besides we'll have lot to do. Especially Draupadi Jiji, given that she is the Empress and the finance minister."

"It is truly fine." Empress Draupadi added. 

"Thank you Samrangi." Bhanumati said, relieved.

"Please don't call me that."

"Draupadi then."

As they got up, Draupadi reached out to grasp her hands.

"Please don't be a stranger. I don't want us to never speak except for apologies and business. We... we are family, whatever that might mean now."

OMG why are writing all these chapters so tough lmao. Writing Draupadi is......difficult. I want to get back to Arjun and Vrishaketu. I can write them lol. But another chapter before they come back.