The cafe was freezing. His arm was bare with burns from oil that had been poured on it. His shirt was covered in all-purpose flour, and he was pretty sure that a piece of a tomato was stuck to his shoes. He knew for sure that his jeans were a size too small with more rips than fashionably acceptable and splotches of mud. His hair was sticking up all over the place with knots that were visible from across the room. His stomach would rumble every few seconds. Wadded up cash was poking out of his fist from the arm that wasn't burned.

And the person in front of him in line would not fucking order. Tommy had been there for ten minutes and 42 seconds, and the teenager that had been standing at the counter would not tell the cashier what he wanted. All the guy did was stare blankly at the paper menu that customers could take home to order from. The cashier didn't look disheartened or impatient. They had a polite smile with their hands folded on top of the counter. Neither the cashier nor the customer had moved much in the past ten minutes, and Tommy was 100% sure that they were pranking him. That had to be it. They were trying to push his buttons. They probably wanted him to yell in the cafe.

Tommy pushed the teenager aside. Not a nudge but a full on shove. Once at the counter, Tommy slammed the money down on the counter. The cashier looked surprise, but they didn't jump back with nerves. Tommy did a once over of the customer that was before him before looking at the cashier. "My friend-" His teeth clenched. "wants a muffin. A chocolate muffin with no nuts. I would like a coffee. One that gives me enough fucking energy to deal with their bullshit!" Tommy pointed an accusatory finger at the customer while keeping his eyes on the cashier.

"One chocolate muffin and one espresso, coming right up! Will that be all for tonight?" The cashier asked. Their name-tag read Niki. They remained polite enough even when Tommy knew he was acting like an asshole. Niki looked at the stranger Tommy shoved for their answer. Tommy looked as well. They had a funny appearance, Tommy decided. Their skin was split down the middle with one side chalk white and the other obsidian black. They had a green eye the color of grass, and the other eye looked like blood dripping off a ruby. Their hair was in similar fashion to their skin, but a few hairs were thrown about down the middle part to mess up the straight-laced appearance. To make matters worse, they were wearing a tuxedo. A full three-piece suit in a cafe when it was nearly midnight. It didn't help they were tall as fuck. Taller than Tommy and probably older. Tommy already knew he hated the guy.

"Uhh... y-yes, thank- thank you," The person said after blinking rapidly, their attention switching between Niki and Tommy. The former gave them both a nice smile as they went around getting the muffin and making the espresso. Tommy turned to glare at the stranger. The person flushed a purple hue before they began talking. "I'm Ranboo. It's nice to meet you."

"Ranboob," Tommy muttered with complete seriousness. Tommy turned the name around in his head, testing it out before he came to the conclusion that the hybrid in front of him was part Enderman and probably raised in that environment, too. Well, someone had to teach Ranboo a lesson. "Look here, buddy, at food places, we don't take ten fucking minutes to figure out what we want. You should know what you want when you're at the counter. If you don't, let the next person go. In fact, you should always let me go in front of you because I'm superior to you. Understand, Ranboo?"

Despite his patronizing tone, Ranboo nodded along like he believed in what Tommy was saying. Tommy could get used to being listened to. Niki, on the other hand, wasn't going to let Ranboo be so easily duped. "Oh, don't listen to him, dear. You weren't hurting anything. Some people just need to learn patience."

Tommy turned around to start yelling at her, but she grabbed onto his arm, placing it on the counter. Tommy tried to pull his arm back, but she had placed a wet rag on the worst of the burns. Tommy sucked in a breath as the cold traveled from his skin to his head through his nerves. Tommy bit his lip to keep from cursing her out as she cleaned all the burns. When she was done, Niki started to rub a cream on it. With that done, she bandaged his arm up with gauze. Niki seemed satisfied with what she had done. She placed his drink and Ranboo's muffin on the counter, and placed the money Tommy threw on the counter into the register. Niki gave him back his change with a sad smile on her face. "You should be more careful with burns like those. It would be detrimental should they get infected."

"I could've handled it myself," Tommy spat as he pulled away, stumbling back from the counter to get away from Niki. She seemed to grow even sadder as she watched him sit in a corner booth. Ranboo stared blankly at where Tommy had been standing before he startled to life. Ranboo grabbed his muffin, and hurried to sit across from Tommy in the booth. Tommy raised an eyebrow at the hybrid. "What the fuck are you doing?"

"You called us friends! Don't friends sit together?" Ranboo asked with a tilt of his head. Tommy didn't know Ranboo was that gullible! His tone had clearly been agitated when he called Ranboo that, and anyone would have known that Tommy was more likely making fun of Ranboo than befriending him. It seemed that Ranboo had not gotten the message, however, because he remained blissfully unaware.

"Sorry, mate, but the only way you can be friends with the great Tommy Innit is if you bear gift. And here I am. Gift-less," Tommy said as he took a long sip of his espresso. It tasted like garbage, but it only took a moment for the caffeine to rush through his body. Tommy let out a long sigh. While he would much rather of alcohol, he wasn't of the legal drinking age, so he settled for a drink that he hated the taste of. Tommy had thought about switching to tea, but that was an old man's drink. Tommy wouldn't drink that unless someone forced it down his throat.

"Oh! I have a gift!" Ranboo said, lifting his palm into the air. Purple sparks came to life and died above his hand until a flower had emerged from the air. Ranboo handed Tommy a magenta colored allium flower. Tommy took the flower into his hands, setting his coffee down. Tommy should have taken that moment to tell Ranboo that using powers in public was a punishable offense. Instead, he held the flower in both his hands. He looked up to see Ranboo's awkward smile. "It's an allium flower. The gardener told me that this flower means friendship!"

Tommy didn't have the heart to tell Ranboo that allium flowers did not mean friendship. They meant unity and patience, which could be depicted as friendship, Tommy reasoned. He kept his mouth shut all the same. Tommy still hated Ranboo. He was tall, overdressed, and a gullible person with a stupid name. Tommy hated those sorts of people. Even with that bias, Tommy appreciated the flower. Tommy knew the two of them couldn't be friends, but he would pretend for that night that he had a normal life with a not-so-normal friend.

Someone slid down into the booth beside Tommy without any warning. Tommy lowered the flower while snatching his drink away from the person. Tommy looked to see a brunette with small antennas growing from his head wearing a green button-up shirt with a bee sown into the side. He was holding a drink that smelled like honey, and he was smiling at them both. "Hullo! I couldn't help but eavesdrop! You're Tommy Innit and Ranboo Beloved, right? I'm Tubbo Underscore. Tommy, you probably don't remember me."

"I don't remember telling you to seat beside me, you little shit," Tommy said with a hard glare. Instead of flinching away, Tubbo merely gave him a cheeky smile while leaning in closer. Tommy's nose ruffled in disgust as he slid back, away from the weird bee hybrid. Ranboo didn't have any qualms as he stared curiously at the new arrival.

"I'm Schlatt's sidekick. We met at that meeting a few weeks ago. The one where Schlatt and Dream almost killed each other. I suppose that was more memorable than I was, but I would like to think I'm not completely out of your head," Tubbo said to them both. Ranboo wasn't at that meeting, but he knew the people Tubbo was talking about. He didn't understand sarcasm or bullying, but he knew who Schlatt and Dream were. Pitiful, really.

"I remember. What was your name? Bee boy? Marvel's the Wasp?" Tommy raised an eyebrow as his mind flashed back to the memories. Tommy had been the one to drag Dream away from Schlatt. He had been the one to stand there was Dream raged all around him about how it was Schaltt's fault and he was going to be the reason they all were doomed. It wasn't a pretty job being a sidekick or a hero's friend. "No, wait... Honeybee, right?"

"You got it! Your name is Reverie! And you are Deviate, the new sidekick that Lady Talon brought in from the End!" Tubbo said, pointing at them both. Tommy's attention immediately went to Ranboo. Lady Talon, civilian name Jean, was a rather terrifying and mysterious woman who resembled a dragon. She was one of those people that Tommy didn't dare joke around with. Lady Talon was as volatile as she was serious. Tommy felt bad for Ranboo. It must have been difficult to handle Lady Talon on a daily basis. Tubbo didn't seem phased. "What are the odds that three sidekicks to famous heroes are at the same cafe?"

"Slim to none," Another voice piped up. Like how Tubbo sat beside Tommy, another boy wearing a purple hoodie with pale blonde hair sat down beside Ranboo. The new addition slumped down in the seat, the straw of his drink in his mouth as he talked. "Especially since it's four sidekicks. The name's Purpled. I work under Punz."

"Oh, wow, this is so interesting," Tubbo said, as he looked at them all. Tubbo leaned against the back of his booth with a smile rising on his face. "I guess this automatically means we're friends!"

"I came for coffee, not you three assholes," Tommy said, thinking about vaulting over Tubbo to escape the situation. He decided against that because Tubbo seemed like the type of person to grab his leg so he would plummet to the ground. Tommy peered over them to see that Niki was still standing at the counter. No one else had came in since Tommy, which had been twelve minutes and 39 seconds ago. "Can you guys fucking shut up? I don't want a civilian knowing that I'm a sidekick."

"You have such a foul mouth," Purpled muttered as he took a loud obnoxious sip of his drink. Tommy's face went red. Tubbo let out a laugh beneath his hand. Ranboo already had his hands up as if to placate the situation. It didn't help anything because in the next second, Tommy had thrown himself across the table to tackle Purpled to the ground. Tubbo was still giggling as he held Tommy back. Ranboo began freaking out, and Purpled didn't look fazed as he kept taking loud sips of his drink. In the background, Niki was running towards them to stop a fight from breaking out in the cafe.

"Oi, fuck you, you smurf!"

"Smurfs are blue, idiot."