Chapter 8
https://youtu.be/dkfpcUBdVmY
(Author's Note: If you would like to listen to Chapter 8 parts 1 and 2 on audio, please click the videos. Thank you! PS. this has Sussianna's dog, Sadie to give you an idea of what she looks like)
My dog comes running towards me. I put my hand out for her to stop. "No! Sadie, stay... Sit," I command and she obliges. "Good girl."
It's not much, but it's home. I have one master bedroom with all linoleum wooden floors and clean white walls throughout my house. The kitchen is narrow and connects to the living room. The rooms have cheap furniture with torn and scratches that seriously need to be replaced, but you got to have money in order to fix or replace things. The bathroom is small enough to only fit two people and it's right next to the bedroom. It's small, but it's just me and my dog, Sadie.
"This is a beautiful home and I like your dog too," he says as he looks throughout my home and I think he's just being modest.
"Thanks," I smile, and then the realization hits me- I have my bras hanging on my bathroom curtains. Shit! I can't let him see that. "Can you wait for a minute, please?" He groans and jumps up and down like he really does need the bathroom. "Sorry, I have to clean the bathroom. I'll be really fast."
"You know you don't have to hide your panties and bras. It's not like the first time I have seen some girl's bra and underwear before," he winks.
I blush. Can he read my mind? "I just need to clean the bathroom, it's a mess," I lie.
He rolls his eyes. "Yeah, sure it is," he says, sarcastically.
I walk, more like running to the bathroom. As soon as I'm in the bathroom I retrieve my bras off the curtain rack and hide them in my bedroom.
I walk out into the living room and see him looking around at all my things, maybe I shouldn't have left him alone in my living room. I should have left him outside because now he's being nosy and looking at everything I have. I'm not used to people looking at and maybe even touching my things.
"Okay, the bathroom is all yours," I mutter as I point to the bathroom.
"Finally," he mocks.
"Shut up, and use the bathroom," I say when I still have my finger pointing in that direction.
"Yes, ma'am," he answers as he strolls to the bathroom. I hear the door squeak as he closes it and I see the light flick on.
I look around my living room to see what he touched or if he moved anything. My eyes search all around including the kitchen, thankfully nothing looks moved. I know I sound paranoid, but I like my stuff to be in a certain way. Plus, I don't want Chris touching my things.
The door opens and I hurry to the couch to sit down before Chris comes out.
His eyes search for me and when he spots I'm on the couch he utters, "Thanks for letting me use your bathroom."
"You're welcome," I murmur as my dog gets off her bed and moves across to Chris.
He bends down to the floor to pet her. "I think your dog likes me. I always wanted a pet."
"Oh, she's not my pet, she's my ESA."
Why did I just say that? I should keep my mouth shut. I could slap myself right now for telling him that. People don't understand what my dog does and some people make fun of me. Will Chris make fun of me and tell his friends? Gosh, I hope not. Me and my big mouth.
"Is she your service dog?" He asks not out to be spiteful, but out of curiosity.
"No, people think she's my service dog, but she's my emotional support dog," I inform him.
I hope he does not want to discuss the topic. Why did I bring this up? I know why because I'm an idiot.
When I lost my parents, it was very hard to cope with life. I had terrible nightmares and still do. I would wake up with anxiety and I couldn't go back to sleep. Camille was concerned because she knew that I didn't sleep well, and also I would fall asleep at work. On top of that, her father was worried about me as well. He advised me to go see a counselor and he gave me names of therapists who specialized in anxiety. I agreed and thank goodness my insurance paid for it.
Once I went to see a therapist, Dr. Daffin, I informed her what happened in my life and after I lost my parents, I felt I was in a shadow where I couldn't breathe. I felt like I could be all alone in a shadow for the rest of my life. I'd told her, I suffered terrible flashbacks and debilitating nightmares where I couldn't go back to sleep. My dreams were so disturbed that I said I had come to dread going to bed because I knew what was waiting for me. At that point, Dr. Daffin recommended an ESA which means an emotional support animal. She said this animal would help with my anxiety and my nightmares which got me intrigued. That's when I decided to adopt Sadie.
Sadie helps me cope with life. If it wasn't for her, I wouldn't get out of bed and go to class or even work. She helps me with my depression and when I have nightmares, she'll wake me up and calm me down. She's always been there for me. I believe if I did not have her in my life, I don't think I would survive. I know people say this all the time: "pets are part of the family," in my case Sadie is my family, the only family I have left.
"Did you hear me?" Chris asks.
"No, sorry," I say, apologetically.
He sits by my side and Sadie goes sits on the floor between me and Chris. She sure does like him, she doesn't like other humans, but for some reason, she likes Chris.
"I said what time do your classes start?" He implores.
"Chris, I don't need you to."
"I want to and I'm not asking I'm telling you."
When is he going to stop interrupting me? I can't deal with him and his rude comments. I'm not asking I am telling you, keeps popping into my head. I never met anyone who would talk to me this way. It's taking a lot in me right now, not to get up and throw his ass out of my house. I need to be civilized here and not be disrespectful like he is to me. Fuck it. No one pushes me around. Get a backbone woman and tell him not to treat you like this, my subconscious snarls at me. I'm not that nice, well not anymore since my parents died.
"No thank you, Chris. I don't need someone to take me to class. Besides you probably have other classes. I bet you don't have every single class with me." I look into his eyes and cross my arms.
"That is true, but I-"
I put my hand in the air. My turn to be rude and interrupt you, Chris. "I wasn't finished." He nods and stays silent. "I know that you are trying to be nice, but you're being a..." What's a nice word to tell him? "You're being impolite and telling me what to do and I don't appreciate the way you boss me around. If I wanted you to pick me up, I would have agreed to it. I don't know why, but I like to do things on my own."
Actually, I know why because I like to be independent. "I don't want to sound like a bitch, but I hate it when people tell me what to do."
He waits for his permission to speak and I nod.
"I'm sorry if you think that I was bossing you around. I wanted to take you to school because seeing that you didn't have a car, I thought we could ride to class together and also maybe take you to work, but if you don't want me to, then I won't. I should have got your permission first," he rambles.
I'm starting to feel bad for my harsh words. He's just being thoughtful and wants to take me to class. I'm the one who is being rude.
"No, it's okay Chris, maybe we could compromise, like for instance, when we study together at the library or where we decide to study, you could drop me off at work or at my house, but it depends on a certain day we study together... What do you think?"
He stares at me for a second before speaking, "Yeah, I guess we could do that."
I guess? Like he does not agree, if he doesn't agree then I wouldn't want to do this. He can forget this whole thing.
Noticing the harsh look I'm giving him, he adds, "It sounds like a good idea. When we pick a time to study, I like the idea of me picking you up and me dropping you off."
I smile. "So, you agree with me, then?"
"Yes, how about tomorrow?" He asks.
"How about tomorrow for what?" I repeat.
"How about tomorrow we study together? I'll pick you up or we could study here at your place if you want to?"
"I have to work tomorrow." As for how much I would like to study with him, I work on Saturdays from 10 am to 7 pm, I won't have any time for studying unless he would like to study late. I study late sometimes if I'm not too tired.
"Oh-" He mutters and moves his hands through his hair. He seems to be thinking about it. "How about Sunday, then?"
"I don't work on Sundays, so Sunday sounds great. Where do you want to study and what time?" I ask.
"We could study here if you want?" He looks at Sadie and pets her again. "I like your dog and I think she likes me too. It's a girl, right?"
I nod. "Yes, her name is Sadie."
"Sadie is a sweet dog. Is it okay if I'm petting her?" He asks, anxious.
"Yes, it's alright."
Chris continues to pet Sadie and she turns over to her belly which makes me smile. If she trusts him, then maybe I should trust him too. They say dogs can smell if people are bad and just maybe Chris is not a bad person, he's a nice guy as he claims.
"Are you okay studying here? At 11 am?" He asks as he lifts an eyebrow.
"Yes, that's fine."
He places his hands on his knees and moves to get up. "Okay then, see you on Sunday." He walks to the door and lays his hand on the knob, then turns to me. "Are you sure that you don't want me to take you to work tomorrow?"
"No, but thank you."
"Are you sure? Last chance," he grins.
"Yes, I'm sure," I smile back.
"Okay, see you Sunday."
"See you Sunday, bye Chris."
"Goodnight Sussianna," he says as he opens the door, and just like that he's gone.
I go to my window and watch his vehicle disappear into the night.
I let out a breath as I place my back against the wall and mutter, "Holy cow."
This has been a long day, I can't think about Chris anymore... for now. I decide to get one of my favorite novels off the shelf. I have so many of them, some horror novels written by Stephen King, and others are love novels written by different authors like EL James, Anna Todd, Nicholas Sparks, Kevin Kwan, Jodi Ellen Malpas, Colleen Hoover, and many others. I have more romance novels. I guess I always dreamed of being one of those women from those books, but life does not end with happy endings. Life is full of disappointments and love is not real. This is my life and life sucks.
I lay down on my bed and open one of the romance novels and start to read. I imagine being in that fantasy and forgetting all about the real world. As I'm reading, I feel my eyes getting heavy and I start to drift off to sleep. I see images of light blue eyes becoming dark until my dreams become clouded into something I didn't want and I wish it would stay the same- with those baby blue eyes staring at me.
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