Chapter 52
(Author's Note: If you wish to listen to Chapter 52 on audio, please click the video. Thank you!)
Chris hesitates for a moment, only gazing at me, and then he starts as if awakened from deep thought, and he flounders as if he cannot find the right words. "I'm... I'm part of the Mafia."
"What?" I say like I didn't hear him correctly. I stand there frozen like ice and I literally feel the blood drain from my skin.
"I'm part of the French Mafia or in France, we call it the mob which translates to Le Milieu... Le Milieu stands for 'the underworld,'" Chris says slowly and I steadily back up towards the door.
My lips try to form the right words to say, but no sound comes out. I clear my throat. "Have you murdered people before?" I ask in a shaky voice.
"I used to," he mutters as though he regrets killing those people.
A terrified whimper rises in my throat as I face the door and make a run for it. My brain is racing with so many questions, but all I can do is escape from fear. Perhaps I'm running because my mind couldn't cope with this new information or just maybe I am scared knowing he's part of the Mafia.
When I'm about to open the door, I hear his feet charging after me and by the time I know it, he's standing right behind me. I feel his palm on my hand, impelling me to take my hand off of the knob.
"Please don't be afraid of me. There are things you must know and understand," he says as he grabs both of my arms, forcing me to stop my movements and shifting my body to face him.
"Chris, let me go!" My voice is powerful, but my body tells a different story- I literally feel my whole-body shiver with horror. I grab limply onto his hands, trying to push him off me, however, he's too strong. Staring at his face with wide eyes, and trembling lips, I say again, "Let me go."
"Sussianna, I never wanted to hurt you. You are safe with me," he tells me, letting out a deep sigh of inadequacy.
"How do I know that?" I ask, even though I am petrified with fear, I can't help but narrow my eyes with fury. I don't know what emotion this is, but I know I feel anger mixed with fear.
"Because you have to trust me. I'll explain everything to you, but I beg you, Sussianna don't tell anyone," he mumbles with pleading eyes.
"Why do you keep telling me this?" I groan. He should know I would never tell anyone, I already told him before that I would keep whatever he told me a secret. I just wanted the truth, but now I know what he has been keeping from me, and right now I'm wishing he would not tell me. At least, not today that I was having a good day, especially spending time with his sister.
"Because knowing this is dangerous for so many reasons. You can hate me, but I need you to trust me."
"Can you please let me go?" I ask once more, my voice raw with terror as I look down at my arms which he's still holding. "If you mean me no harm, then you will let me go."
"I never wanted this," he mutters when he loosens his grip and backs away from me.
I keep my eyes on him, and as panic rushes over my body, I quickly turn around, open the door, and make my way out of his house. In a rush, I scramble for my phone and pull it out of my back pocket. But once I have the phone in my hand, I can feel my fingers trembling so badly that my phone slowly starts to slip, and regardless of how much I try to hold it steady, I drop it on the concrete causing the screen to shatter for the second time.
"Shit!" I curse as I pick it up and try to turn it back on, but it's not working. I already cracked it once, and now it stopped working entirely.
"Sussianna," I hear Chris's voice which startles me.
I expel my breath and whip my head around to glare at him. He's standing behind me, moving closer to me, but cautiously. He shoves his hands in his front pocket as though it is reassurance, he would not harm me in any way. I hold up my hands, so he can stop his movements. "Stay away from me."
"Let me at least give you a ride."
"No, stay away from me," I repeat.
"Just take this then," he mumbles as he holds a cell phone. I eye him and look back and forth between him and the smartphone. "I went out today purchasing you a phone."
"Why did you buy me a phone?"
"Because I saw you cracked your old one a long time ago and I thought you needed a new phone. It's really not a big deal," he shrugs while still holding up the mobile.
"You remember I broke it?" I ask curiously.
"I do remember things, Sussianna. Can you please just take it so I don't feel bad? " He softly insists.
I sigh as I take the phone. "Thank you," I mutter. "But I cannot accept this."
"Please keep it. I bought it for you and I do not have any use for another phone," he tells me with a shrug.
I open my mouth to speak, then shut it. I really can't accept the phone, but I really need it to call an uber. I start typing on the screen for the uber app and request an uber taxi while Chris watches me while frowning.
I look up at him for a minute as I massage my forehead and let out a slow breath. I do not know if I am being overdramatic, but I know I need more time to think about this. I mean he killed people in the past before! I do not know if he's still doing it or what other crimes he has committed.
"I contacted an uber," I do not look at him as I speak.
"So, you're leaving me?" Chris asks suddenly which causes me to remain speechless for quite a while.
I eventually find the right words to say, trying to convince him as well as me. "I'm not really leaving you, I just need time to myself, so I can learn to accept you for what you are." He's probably a murderer or who knows what else he has done? Deep down I do not know if I can accept him, especially if he had killed innocence.
He reaches out and puts a hand on my shoulder. I flinch, pulling away, and let a tear fall from my cheek. "Chris, please don't. I need time to think about this. I promise you I won't tell anyone about your secret, but I'm begging you to give me time."
He nods like he's putting it into consideration. In the corner of my eye, I notice the uber pull right next to the water fountain.
I approach the car, but as I am about to open the door, Chris opens the door for me. I look at him confused by his gesture, but I get into the car with no fuss and thank him. Before he closes it, he whispers so I can only hear, "Sussianna, I'll give you time to think about this, but please don't be afraid of me. I swear..." He hesitates. "I give you my word I won't hurt you," he says each word as though he's trying to convince himself more than me.
He waits for me to say something, but I can't bring myself to speak. He meets my eyes as if he is trying to read my thoughts. Although, if he could read my thoughts right now, my mind is swirling with all this information, first, the BDSM, and now this- that he's in the Mafia. This is a lot to take in all at once. He still patiently waits, and even though I can't bring myself to look at him, I know his blue eyes are on me.
"I'll call you later," I finally say and I honestly do not know what else to say to him. I just needed to say anything to get him to stop staring at me with those baby-blue eyes. Eventually, I look up to see his face and it's not the happy Chris or the enraged Chris I have gotten to know, instead, sadness clouds his features.
"Alright," his voice cracks as he gently closes the door and as the driver slowly drives away, I watch as Chris's eyes blink a couple of times as if he is holding back tears. Is he crying? Can he cry?
An ache pushes against my heart as I imagine Chris's tears falling down his cheeks. I almost tell the driver to go back, but before I do it, my subconscious chimes in and tells me that it's not a good idea to go back there knowing he's done a lot of bad things in his past. However, I'm not certain what type of wrongdoing he has committed, but I know killing people is one of them. For once I'm agreeing with my subconscious and letting the driver take me home.
How could I ever be with a murderer?
Hey lovelies, oh my gosh, finally Chris told his big secret, but who knows if there are more secrets. Boy, you would think she would leave him already? LOL! Or just maybe this is her last straw to give up on him? What would you all do if you were her? Anyway, as always thank you for reading, commenting, and voting.
Also, I was thinking to change the cover. Like this cover down below, or did you all like this one I have now? Please let me know in the comments because you guys are my audience and I would love to know what you all think as well as I want to please the people who read my novel.
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