Rohan's POV

I stood in a distance watching Arjun as he sat on the bench in the garden alone. He was just watching ahead of him in space. Maybe in deep thinking about how can he help his jackass friend who is playing with his life. I know, I was making everyone's life hell by making them worry about me. They want to see me happy but I just can't help it because I am not. No matter what Ahana or anyone else says I know that I could have saved Aaryan and that guilt is eating me up.

He was my brother, my biggest supporter, he is the reason I was living the dream I dreamt in the school first when I saw "Unity" perform live. Music has always been my first love, my passion, my only escape from reality. But when I saw this band performing the passion I had to become a musician went to another level. I loved the craze people had for them. I wanted the same fame and love for myself. I wanted to be on stage surrounded by the screams. I wanted people to go crazy for me. I saw that dream coming alive with Aaryan, because of Aaryan and when it was my turn to fulfill his, he went too far from me. I was the reason for it. His mom was right when she said that I murdered her son because I did.

If only everyone would have blamed me for the sin I did, it would have been less painful. I wouldn't have been this guilty.

Seeing everyone suffer because of me is tough but I need to do this. I can't pretend anymore. I just can't do it anymore. I want to be alone. I deserve to be left alone. That's how I can pay for what I have done.

"What are you doing there?" Arjun's deep voice brought me out of the thoughts. I looked at him with a blank face just to see him looking back at me. I let out a sigh as I walked towards the bench.

"Nothing. Can't I come to my own garden?" I said as I sat beside him, looking ahead of us. I heard Arjun letting out a sigh.

"You asshole... I guess I really need to beat you up." He talked in low voice more like he was talking to himself. I chuckled a little at that. I know I was getting on everyone's nerves and that was my intention too. But at the same time, I knew no one is leaving anytime soon.

"Why would you bring her?" I asked looking at my hands.

"I guess Ahana already told..." Arjun was trying to say when I cut him with a deep sigh. He looked at me confused.

"I am talking about Arohi, you ass. Why would you bring her here? Just let her live her damn life. Wasn't others enough that you brought her too?" I said with an irritated tone.

"Why are you blaming me for that? Is she kid? Can't she come on her own?" Arjun said with so much annoyance.

"Listen Arjun..." Arjun didn't let me finish the sentence.

"I don't want to." He said rolling his eyes at me as he went ahead. "And don't you have to apologize to me?"

"For what?" I said faking confused expression. That was the first reason I came here searching for Arjun. I wanted to apologize for my behavior. I never talked to Arjun like that before. He is like my elder brother who has taken care of me the most when I was miserable. He got me out of India from all the mess and helped me settle in London. Who kept a tab on me for all those years. Kept visiting me every month until I got better. He has gone through so much to keep me safe. But I anyway had a change of mind about apologizing and I don't want to show my soft side to anyone, not even to Arjun. I've made up my mind to make them walk away from me and live their life without me. Showing any sort of emotion would result in them holding on to me tighter than before. And I don't want that. I'm done being a burden on them and I don't want to be anymore. But I can't go back to being the old Rohan as they want me to, it's impossible for me. It's as impossible as reversing Aryan's death. So the only way I have to keep them happy and live their life is to make them hate me. 

"You bastard? Don't you think you misbehaved with me back there?" He said raising his eyebrow. He knew I won't apologize too. I never had in the past and he doesn't expect me too. It has always been like that.

"We don't share the same thoughts," I said nodding my head negatively.

"That I know for the past few years." He said in a low tone, looking ahead. I took a deep breath and looked ahead again. No one said anything for some time before I shifted my gaze at him again.

"When are you leaving?" I asked with a straight face.

"Not anytime soon," Arjun said shrugging his shoulders without looking at me. I shook my head in annoyance. I don't know what more I need to do to push them away completely because till now, nothing is working with anyone.

"You know how much that poor Raghav is suffering because of you? Now he has to go through all kind of shits because of you." Arjun said again breaking my thoughts. I looked at him again.

"Yeah, I know. It's not my fault. If it is bothering him so much then why can't he leave me alone?" I said gritting my teeth. Arjun groaned in annoyance but I can't help it. I am an asshole anyway.

"You know he won't leave you, moron!" He said with anger visible in his voice. I really don't want to hurt him or fight with him but I guess I don't have any option.

"I should have kicked him out before," I said not meaning any word I spoke. Raghav has always been beside me since I first met him in India. Jenny assigned him as my manager when I got my break in Bollywood. He has been with me since then. Handling every shit I do. I know it is hard to live with a person like me. I have hurt him countless times with the words I threw at him. But he didn't leave and somewhere I was grateful for that.

"And till when you will keep kicking people out?" Arjun asked.

"Until everyone leaves me alone," I said with all honesty, looking at him.

"Just go easy with Arohi. You are hurting her. That girl loves you. She is ready to help you. Just let her in. She has already lost her first love. It will break her completely if she loses you too." He said. I closed my eyes for a brief moment. Go easy with her? That won't happen. She needs to go back first out of all other people. She can't stay here. I know her very well. I know she won't give up on me. Like she didn't on Rahul. But there is a thick line between Rahul Jaykar and Rohan Nanda and she needs to know that.

"You should take her back. She will listen to you. I am not the one for her. She deserves much better and you know that." I said in a plain voice. There are no emotions left in me now. I can go to any lengths. And limits? I don't have that now.

"I know you deserve better too but even so what is going to change?" He said letting out a small sarcastic laugh. I rolled my eyes.

"I never have lied to you Arjun and I won't now. I will do anything and everything that will hurt her if she doesn't go back. If you care for her then just send her back." I said to Arjun to which he let out a small laugh. I looked at him being confused.

"It looks like you care more than me." He said with a small smile. I gritted my jaw hard as he went ahead. "Let me see what you do then. If you don't love her then don't be bothered about her." He said as he took out a cigarette box from his pocket.

"I am not worried about her. You were." I said shifting my gaze from his face. He took the cigarette to his mouth and lit it with the lighter. He looked at me as he blew the smoke away.

"Alright. I will handle her. Do what you are best at. Being the bad boy." He said letting out a laugh again. I rolled my eyes. What is wrong with this guy?

"That I will definitely show her. She hasn't seen the real me yet." I said in a determined tone.

"Real you is this, Ro, not the one you keep showing to people. That is a pretense. A mask that you put so that you will scare the people away. So that no one can reach the inner you. So that no one could enter your world." He said putting a hand on my shoulder. I don't agree with him. I have always been like this as long as I remember. The softer Rohan never existed and he won't ever.

"That's bullshit!" I said shaking my head a bit. Arjun let out a sigh as he put the cigarette in his mouth again.

"That's the truth whether you accept it or not..." He said.

"Alright then. Think whatever. I won't be responsible for whatever happens to her from now on. I won't even care if her fragile heart breaks into a million pieces." I said giving him a tough look but he was least bothered by that. He smiled at me a little.

"Cool. I got it. You don't care about her, alright? Stop convincing me." He said blowing the smoke in the air. I took a deep breath.

"I am not convincing you. Just telling you the truth." I said with annoyance.

"Understood!" He said with a nod. I rolled my eyes as I took a breath. No one spoke anything further because we both knew that it's of no use. He knew that I won't change my mind.

I meant every word I said about Arohi. I won't stay calm until she leaves. I don't want her beside me in this hell every day. She has finally moved on from Rahul and now she is stuck with the worst. Yup, I have to agree that I am worst than Rahul Jaykar. At least he must have valued her but I don't and I won't. I don't know what wrong I did that she fell for me because that was never my intention. I agree I have been attracted to her but I never thought things would turn out to be this way.

When I left India a year back and she cut the contact I thought she finally forgot everything about me but I was wrong all along. I can still see the same love in those hazel brown eyes which I saw a year back. And the worst thing is she still has that effect on me where I forget how shitty my life is just looking into those eyes. She has magic in her eyes, that shows me a world where I live happily with her.  But magic is an illusion. I can never lead a happy life or love someone. She needs to know that and stop wasting her love for the wrong one. I have to think of all the wrong ways to get things right for her.

Arohi Keshav Shirke, you have stepped into hell. And I will show you that every other day, no matter how painful it is to both of us. No matter how much it breaks me to see you break. I am a monster after all and they don't have feelings. You 'have' to go back even if you don't want to. I don't need anyone's help. I don't want that. The sinners don't deserve anything good. They have to pay for every wrong thing they did. I am one and I have to pay for it. You just be ready to witness the worst. I will make sure I'll be the worst memory to you. I will make sure that you don't cry remembering me ever when you go back. I will make sure that you hate me. I hope you forget this phase in your life and live happily without me in it.

***********

Arohi's POV

"Rohan is going to make your life hell, Arohi," Raghav said sitting on the kitchen counter behind me. I was chopping the vegetables while Ahana was sitting on the dining table in front of me. I let out a sigh hearing him.

"I know and I guess I'm well prepared for that," I said looking down and concentrating on the task in my hand.

"If you say so. Just don't push yourself. And you have to promise me that you won't let yourself suffer because of him." Raghav said with a concerned voice. I looked back at him and gave a small smile.

"And look who is talking. You are doing the same." I said pressing a smile. Raghav let out a sigh as he jumped down from the counter and walked towards me, standing beside me.

"Because he is my family, Arohi. I don't have anyone beside him. I have to be there for him no matter what. He is my responsibility." He said. I nodded at him in understanding.

"She loves him, Rags. Let her try too. We should support her, not discourage." Ahana said looking up from her mobile.

"I'm not discouraging her. I'm just concerned about her. I want her to help Rohan but I don't know how will he hurt her. I just don't want to see her suffer that's all." Raghav said with a concerned face. I smiled at him.

"Don't worry, Raghav. I have got you to cheer me up." I said giving him a wide smile. He smiled back at me but not a bright one. He was not convinced and I don't know how to convince him. I was as clueless as him in the case of Rohan. I have no idea how he's going to tear me apart but I know that he will try anything in his power to do that. The difference was I was ready to face anything that comes my way. I don't have a choice but to fight.

"Umm... Guys?" I started in a nervous tone as they gave me their full attention. I put the knife on the counter as I looked at them.

I have been debating with myself if I should ask them or not. As Rohan won't open up to me anytime soon, I guess it's OK if I get at least a little peek in his life. I mean, I at least need to know why he is behaving like that if I have to help him with anything. Without knowing the past I don't think I will be able to understand him or his actions or could even help him to come out of the state he is in. I need to know the answer to why.

Taking a deep breath I finally started. "I don't want to know everything but can you give me a little insight as to why Rohan is behaving like that? I don't know what is he blaming himself for. I don't know how to help him or what to tell him." I looked at them with so much hope.

Raghav looked at Ahana as if he was debating with something. Ahana didn't say anything for some time and kept looking at her mobile. Then she looked at me again with determination this time.

"He thinks my brother died because of him." She said in a plain tone not letting her emotions show. I gasped hearing her words and before I could think anything words slipped from my mouth.

"Aaryan?"

"Yes. He... Left us eight years back. My mom convinced Rohan that he has killed her son which is not true. Rohan and Aaryan were always close, like brothers..." Ahana said with a low voice as if she was struggling to get the words out of her mouth. I can understand how is it to lose someone. I guess we both are on the same boat. We both know the pain of losing someone and maybe because of that, we were trying our hardest to not lose Rohan.

"Aaryan was Rohan's first friend in Mumbai. They used to meet at studios while going for auditions. Soon after Rohan moved to his house as he couldn't afford the living expenses. In fact, Rohan got his first break because of Aaryan, with Arjun." Raghav started as Ahana sat still. I looked at her with a concerned face. She let out a deep sigh.

"My mom never liked Rohan. She was scared. Scared that her perfect son would go waste because of him. Aaryan was never perfect. He was just trying to keep mom and dad happy. Music was his passion. But mom forced him to do a job that he never loved. Rohan was the one who supported him. Who always understood him, who connected with him. But my mom couldn't see that. That made her hate Rohan even more." Ahana said with shaking voice. Raghav went and sat beside her. Keeping his hand on hers.

"And finally when he left, all she could do was to blame Rohan again. She never accepted her mistakes nor she understood Aaryan." She finished with so much difficulty. A tear rolled down her eye. I rubbed my hands and ran to her.

I gave her a tight hug, comforting her as she shed few more tears before wiping her face. She sat straight again. I sat to her other side.

"Don't say anything more. I guess this much is enough for me." I said to her with a concerned voice. I don't want to force her to visit those haunting memories again. I know the pain very well and I don't want her to feel it again.

"I'm fine, Arohi. Just ask whatever you want to know. " Ahana said as she gave me a small sad smile. I smiled back at her as I looked at Raghav. I wanted to stop but I just had a couple more questions. I can't tell when that bloodthirsty guy would come in front of me again. I need to clear a few things before I face him again.

"You said something about his panic attacks. Is it related to Aaryan?" I asked Raghav, carefully looking at Ahana for any reactions. She stayed still.

"Yes. He has been getting treatments for depression and anxiety since long.  Ever since we moved to London after you know, we lost Aaryan. But he has been avoiding medications lately. Not listening to anyone." Raghav said.

"He got one back too when I was here...?" I asked him again. Remembering the day when I played that song on piano and Rohan got mad.

"Yes, you sang the song which belonged to his best friend," Raghav said sighing. Shit! I didn't know. How did I miss his name?

"It was Aaryan's song?" I asked making my eyes wide.

"Yes"

"How come I didn't know about him?" I asked.

"It was his debut song. Which never got released in the first place. Arjun just put it out after his demise. But his name got washed away with time." Raghav said in a sad tone.

I don't know many of the things. In fact, I don't know anything at all about these people. Now I can connect most of the pieces or understand many of the things which Rohan said in the past. Whether it was about why he got mad after hearing the song or who he was talking about on that rainy night. I can understand why he has a soft corner for Ahana and what she meant to him. I can understand the close bond they share because they have lost the same person which they valued the most. They are just trying to fill the gap for each other, just trying to be there for each other. I should have respected their bond instead of being jealous or doubting their relation. How can I be so stupid? How can I behave like that? I never have. I guess being in love make people do or think of all the crazy stuff. I feel worse.

"I am sorry, Ahana. I was so stupid that I thought about you and Rohan..." I said being embarrassed. Raghav and Ahana chuckled at me.

"That is totally fine Arohi. You didn't know a thing and trust me I never felt anything about it. That made me believe that not just him but even you love that jerk. So it's OK. " Ahana said sounding fine now as she squeezed my hand.

"How you guys are so sweet?" I asked looking at them in a complaining voice. Raghav and Ahana looked at each other before breaking into laughter. I smiled back at them, happy to see them lighten up.

****************

I didn't see Rohan whole day after our faceoff in the morning. He didn't come to dinner which was kind of obvious. Raghav said he saw him going somewhere which he assumes would be for drink or drugs or as Arjun said he can even get a girl to get back at me. It again didn't go well with me so here I am worrying about that ruthless guy sitting in his room.

It's already past 12 but still, there are no signs of him. I got up and went into the balcony. I loved the view from Rohan's balcony. It was so beautiful and calming. I even complained to him once that he got the best room for himself which was unfair and he offered me to shift in his room if I loved it that much. I remember how that got me mad at him for no reason. That was just casual for Rohan. I let out a laugh thinking about him when I heard the door click open. I went into the room to see Rohan stumbling a little as he got seated on the bed. He was holding his head in his both hands.

"Where have you been? You are already making me wait, Mr. Nanda. Not fair!" I said putting a playful smile walking near him. He looked at me startled, of course, he didn't expect me to be here in his room, at this hour. His expression immediately got replaced by annoyance and I was already enjoying the show. I just loved pissing him off.

"What the hell are you doing here?" He asked getting up from his position.

"Nothing! Just brought you dinner and medicines." I said pointing towards the table beside.

"Didn't I tell you to stop talking nonsense? I don't need your help with anything." He said gritting his teeth. I can tell he was tired and didn't have the energy to fight with me but still was giving his best.

"I am not helping you with anything. That was just my excuse to come see you. I can do that much, Rohan." I said winking at him. Rohan clenched his fists and closed his eyes taking a deep breath as he walked to side with so much irritation.

"Get the hell out of here." He said giving me a death glare.

"Just get some new line. That you already used multiple times in the morning." I said smiling like an idiot.

"You are not taking me seriously Arohi." He said as he came near me, his eyes looked at mine with rage held in them.

"Oh, I so am Rohan. Anyway don't you have to eat anything? As promised I made your favorite dishes." I said still smiling, completely ignoring his furious eyes following me as I went near the table and sat on the sofa. Rohan didn't move his gaze away from me. He was looking at me like a hungry lion.

"I am warning you to get the hell out of here. Understand before I lose it. Don't think whatever I said in the morning was just for fun. I mean each and every word of it." He said his voice dangerously calm.

"Yes, I know. Now, just come and eat this. You have to take the medicines too." I said looking at him with a pout. He closed his eyes again taking in a deep breath. I was getting on his nerves and I know he wouldn't think twice before hurting me. But strangely, I was not affected by his furious eyes or sharp words. Maybe because I knew that deep down he felt the same as me. He opened his eyes as he came near me taking big steps.

"Alright, that's enough!" He said as he held my hand tightly, pulling me up, making me stand on my feet. I felt my wrist pain under his stronghold. I tried jerking his hand away but in vain.

"Rohan, you are hurting me!" I said twisting my hand trying to loosen his grip.

"I don't care!" He said pulling me to the door with force but I could feel his grip on my hand loosened a little.

"What are you doing?!" I asked finally freeing my hand from his grip and rubbed my wrist to ease the pain.

"Throwing you out of my room? I will make your life hell Arohi if you keep pissing me like that. Just go away else not just room but I'll throw you out of the house no matter who protest."

"Fine! I'll go on my own once you finish eating." I said.

"You really think that will work? Don't you think it's too childish? Grow up Arohi. Come out of your fairy tale!" He said as he took a few steps towards me as I moved back.

"You don't need to tell me that. I am allowed to do whatever I want." I said and I saw him gritting his teeth.

"Not in my room." He said.

"You are funny. In the morning you were fighting for the house. Now negotiated to the room already?" I asked with a smirk. His features relaxed a bit. I knew he is going to get back at me with worst. I need to be ready.

"Why? Do you want to stay here now? With me? Should I tell someone to move your stuff here? You said you weren't desperate for me Arohi. What happened? Couldn't control anymore?" He said smirking at me. I knew it!

"I don't want to have sex with you. If that what you mean?" I said folding my arms over my chest as I put on the straight face.

"Coming out clear? I like that," Rohan smirked looking at me.

"I don't care what you like and what not. Didn't find anyone today to please you?" I asked again.

"I can if I want to." He said gritting his teeth. I rolled my eyes at him.

"So does that mean you didn't want to have sex with other women? Wow, Rohan, you are way too loyal." I said in an impressive tone. Rohan's expressions didn't change. He kept looking at me.

"Yes, I thought I shouldn't today. As I got you and you are willing to do anything for me then why not sleep with me?" He said as a smirk found its way to his lips. It was my time to grit my teeth as he continued with the smirk still on, "If you love me so much then what is a problem with having sex? Isn't it part of every relationship?"

"Rohan! Enough! My love for you is strong enough. I don't have to sleep with you to prove it to you." I said with a stern voice.

"I guess I already warned you to get out of here. If my words hurt your pride then why are you still here?" He said with annoyance and anger.

"Because I don't want to lose you. I love you too much to let you suffer alone." I said looking directly in his eyes. His expressions soften for some time but he recovered them before I could notice. He didn't say anything for some time.

"I was never yours for you to lose me." Rohan finally said not looking at me anymore. I wanted to hug him tight and tell him that everything will be fine. I wanted to kiss him until I run out of breath and comfort him in my arms. But I know he won't even let me come close to him.

"Go to sleep for now. I am not leaving you ever, just keep that in your mind. I have already done the same mistake with Rahul and I won't repeat the same with you." I said as I went near him.

"Arohi..." He was saying making his voice louder but I couldn't let him finish. I guess it was enough for today. We both are tired and we need to rest now. We both knew how stubborn we are and no one from us will ever back off. Besides, this is going to be our only form of communication from now on.

"Alright, I am leaving now. I am letting it slide for today but I won't let you sleep tomorrow if you don't eat or take the medicines. See you tomorrow, baby." I said as I moved closer to him leaving little to no space between us. He looked down at me watching my every movement. He was clearly a little shocked to react or to push away. I took that as a chance as I stood on my toes, planting a soft kiss on his cheek.

"Good night, Love," I said looking into his chocolate brown eyes which stared back at me in total shock and confusion. He couldn't utter a single word. He just stood there looking down at me not believing what I did. I smiled back at him, my sweetest smile. I just loved how the roles reversed this time.

With that, I quickly walked out if his room before he could react, saving myself from the hungry lion who was capable of eating me alive if I stayed a minute longer.

---------------------------
Love was never
meant to be easy, people
fight, people make
mistakes, people walk out
and then decide to run back.
When it comes to real love
there is no limit to what
you want to do for one another.
To protect, to provide,
to profess. It's a lot harder
to stay together than to fall
apart, but the outcome
of love is worth every
second of it.
-----------------------------

So that was it!! As promised chapter 23 for you all. This was shorter compared to any of the chapters before but don't worry next one will be longer.

Alright, so tell us your thoughts on this one.

VOTE if you are liking this.

But before taking off, let's take a moment to drool over this new HOT VarShra pic. How amazing and perfect do they look together!!! 😍😍

Finally, AroHan will come back with another chapter soon.

Till then, Bye.

Loads of love. ❤️