Greetings, Karsen!

We've got some great news to share with you! After an extensive screening, you and Jennifer Austria have reached the final stage of the process—the chemistry build-up. We didn't expect having such a difficult time choosing between the two of you. The original plan was to pick just one, but we wanted to be fair, so you’d get a chance to develop a nice chemistry with DK.   

This involves getting to know each other and going on friendly dates, but we need your assurance that everything will be strictly professional.
 
If this is okay with you, please report to the office at 9 a.m. on Friday. 

Thanks,
Soul Production

“Oh, my god! Oh, my god!” malakas na malakas na tili ko nang mabasa nang buo ang e-mail. “Millicent!” sumigaw pa ako lalo. “I-translate mo sa akin ‘to! Baka mali ako ng intindi! Please, hindi ako makahinga!”

Halos masira ko ang pinto nang lumabas ako ng kwarto. Nagpaplantsa si Ate Kat ng uniform niya habang sina Mill at Mari naman ay parehas na nag-ce-cellphone.

“Ba’t ka umiiyak?” kunot-noong tanong ni Ate Kat sa akin.

My lips quivered. ”N-Nakapasa yata ako.”

Mari glanced at me. “Ngayon lang lumabas ang resulta ng midterms n’yo?”

Umiling ako, naluluha pa rin sa saya. Umupo ako sa gitna nina Mari at Mill bago binigyan ng mahigpit na yakap ang huli.

“I love you so much!” I uttered while hugging her. “Ibibili kita ng maraming piercing at hair dye!”

She slightly pushed me. “Pawis ka, kadiri.”

Hindi ako nagpatinag. Hinawakan ko ang mukha niya at pinugpog ng halik ang ilong at pisngi niya.

“Dawn Karsen!” reklamo niya habang itinutulak ako. “Ang dugyot!”

Tumigil ako at yumakap pa rin sa kanya. I just can’t contain my happiness!

“Ano bang nangyari?” si Ate Kat. “Kay Kobe?”

Mari chuckled. “Ano pa nga ba?”

Sumiksik ako kay Mill. She was the one who submitted my portfolio. Siya ang gumawa at nag-edit no’n. Kung hindi niya accidentally na-i-send ang natutulog kong picture, siguradong hindi malalaman ni Kobe na nag-e-exist ako!

Mill sighed, finally accepting the fact that I wouldn’t let her go.

“Karsen,” kuha ni Ate Kat sa atensyon ko. “Tell us what happened.”

Nakalingkis pa rin ang kamay ko sa braso ni Mill nang hinarap ko siya. She narrowed her eyes on me. Maya-maya pa ay tinanggal niya ang pagkakasaksak ng plantsa at naupo rin sa sofa na katapat namin.

“Nakapasa ako, Ate.” I beamed. “Build-up of chemistry daw ‘yong susunod.” Lalong lumawak ang ngiti ko. “May friendly dates at getting to know each other.”

“Wow,” bulaslas ni Mari. “What kind of sorcery is this?”

Mill scoffed. “Kapag na-inlove ka riyan, tatawanan talaga kita.”

“Hoy, bawal!” Tinanggal ko ang kamay sa braso niya. “Strictly professional daw, eh.”

“Professional? Medyo mahihirapan ka sa part na ‘yan, ah?” she chuckled.

“Saka ang lambot nito pagdating kay Kobe!” Itinuro ako ni Mari. “Hindi na ako magugulat kung pagkatapos ng build up build up na ‘yan, magyayaya na ng inom ‘to at brokenhearted.”

Lumabi ako. “Hindi kaya. Wala akong ibang gagawin kung hindi ang intindihin siya. Kung sakali mang si Jennifer ang mapili, ayos lang! Not everyone gets the chance to date their idols!”

“Dalawa na lang kayo?”

I nodded.

Ate Kat cleared her throat. Napatingin ako sa kanya at napansin kong parang nag-iisip siya.

“Well, that’s unexpected.” She exhaled. “Alam mo ba ang pinapasok mo, Karsen?”

I looked away and pouted. Nakakatakot naman siya.

“Kita naming lahat dito kung paano mo nagustuhan si Kobe kahit na minsan, hindi na praktikal ang pagiging fangirl mo,” panimula niya. Naramdaman ko ang pagtapik ni Mill sa hita ko.

“Makinig ka,” bulong niya.

Tumango lang ako, bahagya nang kinakabahan.

“Kahit nakikita kong tinitipid mo ang sarili mo para makabili ng ticket at merch, hinayaan kita. I've also seen how you turned down all of your suitors because you set Kobe as your benchmark.” Unti-unti akong tumingin sa kanya. “I let you, because I thought it was just a phase.”

I took a breath. “It’s not, Ate. OA mang pakinggan pero dito ako masaya.”

“I understand. Trust me, I understand.” Tumango-tango siya. “Pero ‘yang papasukin mo... Aren’t you scared for yourself?”

“Why would I? It’s a very rare opportunity. Parang hindi ko naman kayang palampasin ‘yon...” halos magmakaawa na ako.

“What if he isn't the man you thought he was?” she asked. “What if he doesn't turn out to be the man you imagined?”

“Nosebleed, gagi,” bulong ulit ni Mill.

“Nakikita mo ba ‘yong point ko, Karsen?”

Hindi ako nakasagot. Ate Kat always has a point... and I hate it. Nabawasan tuloy ang saya ko.

“Ayokong ma-disappoint ka. You have already created a version of him in your head. Pagkatapos ng step na ‘yan, dalawa lang ang p’wedeng mangyari. It’s either you grow to love him even more or you begin to despise him.”

Ate Kat’s words spoke so much to me. Tama siya. I imagined Kobe as the perfect and ideal guy to the point that I often forgot he was a human, too—capable of making mistakes. 

“Chill out, Kat. She just wanna have fun,” pag-aalo sa akin ni Mari. “Tinatakot mo naman, eh.”

Ate Kat sighed. “Reality check lang dahil hindi santo ang mga public figures. Isa pa, it will never be their fault if they don't live up to the expectations of their fans.”

Guilt had crippled my system. I somehow felt like we, as Kobe’s supporters, put a lot of pressure on him to behave and act in certain ways.

Natahimik ako matapos ang pag-uusap namin. Pumasok ako sa kwarto at napaisip. May isang parte sa akin na gustong tingnan kung saan ako dadalhin ng tadhana kung pipiliin kong tumuloy, pero mayroon ding kumakalabit sa puso ko na manatili na lang kung nasaan ako.

Is it better to support Kobe from afar?

“Si Ate Kat naman kasi!” reklamo ko sa unan na para bang makikinig iyon sa akin. “Ang klaro na ng plano ko, eh!”

I still have a few days to think. Hindi ko naman kasi inaasahang makakarating ako rito. I didn’t even think of passing the screening! Ngayon namang nandito na, nalito pa ako!

Punyemas na utak ‘to! Parang pubic hair! Ang gulo-gulo!

In the middle of my mind tantrums, my phone beeped.

From: hindi maasim 🎀
Did you receive the email?

Napamura ako sa isip. Anong afar afar? Gago, ilalaban ko na ‘to.

To: hindi maasim 🎀
Yup, kanina pa. Thank you sa opportunity!

Bahagyang nainis ako sa sarili dahil nabawasan talaga ang excitement ko. Hindi tuloy ako makapag-focus sa katotohanang ka-text ko mismo si Kobe.

From: hindi maasim 🎀
Why do you sound like that?

My brows furrowed. What does he mean?

To: hindi maasim 🎀
Anong sound? May naririnig ka bang hindi ko naririnig?

Niyakap ko ang unan habang hinihintay siyang mag-reply. Tanungin ko kaya siya kung sino ang mas gusto niya sa amin ni Jennifer? Maybe it would help me decide? Kung mas gusto niya ang babae, hindi ko na siguro para sayangin pa ang oras niya.

Wow, this is Karsen version 2.0.

From: hindi maasim 🎀
Nevermind.

Lumabi ako. I gripped my phone tightly and sighed. Am I ready to see his good and bad sides? Will my love for him be retained if I get to know him more? 

Many articles had been published stating that Kobe was generous. He once held a concert and donated the entire proceeds to the victims of a typhoon. Labis ko siyang hinangaan dahil doon. Hindi siya maramot. Sinasabi rin ng mga artista na hangga’t kayang tumulong ni Kobe, tutulong siya.

Pero may mga artikulo rin namang lumalabas na may pagkasuplado raw Ang lalaki. Madalas mukhang hindi interesado kaya nagmumukhang arogante. May mga chismis pa noon na “nambubusted” daw siya ng mga babae kaya maraming nagsasabing masyadong mataas ang tingin niya sa sarili.

None of these were confirmed. Mula sa positibo hanggang negatibong balita. He was so subtle. Kaming mga fans lang talaga ang nag-iingay para sa achievements niya.

I was so preoccupied with my own thoughts that I completely forgot to reply to him. Aside from the fact that I didn't know what to say, Ate Kat's words stayed with me. 

“Bakit, mahal mo lang ba si Kobe dahil sa binuo mong imahe niya sa utak mo?” tanong ni Eddie habang sinusuklayan ako. “Natakot ampota. Ang tagal mong pinangarap ‘yan, huy!”

I let out a sigh. “Hindi ko kayang bitawan ang mga kanta niya, pero paano kapag pangit pala ang ugali niya? I wouldn't be able to listen to his music in the same way I have for the past several years.”

“Para ka namang hindi fan,” aniya. “Sigurado akong may listahan ka sa utak mo ng magagandang bagay na nagawa niya. Tingin mo ma-o-overpower no’n ang bad sides niya?”

Napanguso ako.

“Iayon sa laki ng boobs ang pagiging judgmental, Karsen.” He laughed. “And practically speaking, kailangan mo ng pera! Malaki ang kikitain mo riyan! Baka magkaroon ka ng big break kapag na-discover ka pa.”

With that said, all of my worries faded. Ano nga bang iniaarte ko? Lahat naman ng tao ay may bad sides! At isa pa, sa pitong taon kong pagsuporta at panonood kay Kobe, wala naman siyang na-violate na law. I’m sure he’s a good person!

Duh! Hindi mo naman susuportahan ‘yan, Karsen, kung may pending cases!

I replied to the e-mail by confirming that I would be there on Friday. Gumawa ng excuse letter si Eddie para papirmahan sa instructors namin, dahil pareho kaming a-absent sa araw na ‘yon. Sasamahan niya raw kasi ako.

The following days, we went to thrift stores to buy a few dresses and outfits. Pinagalitan pa ako ni Eddie dahil puro pink ang pinipili ko. He urged me to learn how to dress more maturely. Nagtalo pa kami dahil hindi ako komportable. We ended up buying both. Mabuti na lang talaga at nasa ukayan kami.

“Kahit ang mapili sa dulo ay si Jennifer, hindi ka na lugi.”

“Aba, oo naman! Sa friendly dates pa lang, diyos ko! Hindi ko ma-imagine na kakain kami ni Kobe sa iisang restaurant.” I chuckled. “Sana lang hindi sa mahal, ‘no? Hanggang turo-turo lang ang kaya ng budget ko.”

“Sagot nila ‘yon...”

Inaayos ko ang buhok ko nang dumating si Jennifer sa lobby. May kasama siyang babae na sa tingin ko ay manager niya. Pareho kaming naka-itim na dress, pero mas mukha pa rin talaga siyang dalaga.

Ngumiti siya sa akin na siyang ikinagulat ko. Lumapit pa siya sa pwesto namin bago iniabot ang kamay sa akin.

“Dawn Karsen?” she asked, still smiling.

I panicked a bit. Tumayo ako at nakipagkamay sa kanya. She was so pretty!

“Nice to meet you po,” nahihiyang saad ko.

She chuckled. “Come on, we meet before! Same batch tayo no’ng interview, ‘di ba?”

Nag-iinit ang mukha kong tumango. Shet, tanda niya! Napaka-famous ko naman pala talaga!

“Karsen, Jennifer, come in!” agaw ni Carly sa atensyon namin. She was standing outside the door, motioning us to go there quickly.

My heart skipped a beat. Napasulyap ako kay Eddie na nakangisi lang sa akin na parang inaasar ako.

“Beshy ‘yarn?” bulong niya sa akin. “In fairness, ang ganda niya. Totoo pa yata ang chismis na mabait siya.” Mahina siyang tumawa. “Mukhang matatalo ang alaga ko, ah?”

Pasimple ko siyang kinurot sa takot na marinig siya ni Jennifer na nasa unahan lang namin. We entered the conference room. I scanned the place and noticed that no one was there yet. Nakaramdam ako ng panghihinayang kahit alam kong hindi pupunta si Kobe. Meeting lang naman kasi ‘to.

In the middle of the room, there was a long black table surrounded by gray swivel chairs. Umupo kami roon. Si Eddie sa kanan ko at si Jennifer naman sa kaliwa.

“From over ten thousand applicants, you two were chosen.” Carly smiled. “Congratulations!”

Nag-init ang puso ko sa narinig. I’m sure other applicants were more qualified than I was. I didn’t  even know how I got so lucky.

“Let’s have a brief meeting lang regarding sa magiging flow ng build up.”

I nodded. Focus, Karsen!

“First, let me just explain why this is necessary. We wanted you guys to feel at ease on screen with Kobe, so the production crew would have less work to do.” She leaned back and crossed her arms. “However, as stated in the e-mail, we require professionalism from you. Kobe isn't permitted to date yet, and there should be no dating rumors circulating while you're working with him.”

Bakit naman bawal pa siyang makipag-date?!

Parang narinig ni Carly ang tanong ko dahil nagbuntong-hininga siya.

“It was in his contract,” she uttered. “Sagot ng company lahat ng gagastusin n’yo. Kung dinner sa mga five-star hotels, staycation, beach date and so on, shoulder namin ‘yong fees. May weekly allowance din kayo.”

Habang nagsasalita siya ay biglang bumukas ang pinto.

“Am I late?”

Carly’s eyes widened. “Aren’t you supposed to be in the studio?!”

Dinaga ang dibdib ko nang maupo si Kobe sa tabi ni Carly na katapat lang namin. He glanced at Jennifer and gave her a nod. Nang dumaplis naman sa akin ang tingin ay bahagyang umangat ang isang gilid ng labi niya. Napakaliit ng ngisi niyang ‘yon. Parang guni-guni ko lang tuloy.

I pouted. Ang daya! Hindi ako tinanguan! Favoritism!

“I thought you weren’t coming,” kaswal na aniya.

My cheeks heated in an instant. Ako ba ang kinakausap niya?

“Who?”

Kobe looked at me. “That kid.”

“Kid,” I echoed his word, slightly annoyed. Bigyan kita ng kid d’yan, eh!

Carly glared at him. “The goal is to make them comfortable, Kobe. Don’t tease her.”

Bahagya siyang yumuko. He tapped the table with his long and slender fingers.

“We’ll talk later. You’re messing with your schedule again!” mahinang suway niya sa lalaki bago kami muling hinarap.

I straightened my back. Sari-sari ang emosyon na nararamdaman ko. I was glad that he was here, but I was a little intimidated by his authoritative presence. Ni hindi ko alam kung paano niya nalaman na inisip ko ang hindi pagpunta.

“As I was saying, no romantic feelings should be involved while doing the whole process. Dalawang buwan lang naman ‘yon. And then we'll have another two months of shooting after the final selection.”

“May I ask something?” Jennifer inquired.

“Sure.”

“Why didn't you just pick an actress? It will save you time, money, and stress. Isa pa, they're professional. They won't need this ‘chemistry build-up’ because they'll be able to act as if they've known Kobe for a long time.”

Oh, that makes sense.

Sumulyap si Carly kay Kobe bago muling tumingin sa amin.

“He hates working with famous people,” she answered.

“Famous siya, ah?” wala sa hulog kong tinuro si Jennifer.

Nag-init ang mukha ko nang makitang ngumisi si Kobe. Nang-aasar ba siya?!

Jennifer chuckled. “I’m not that famous. Unlike actresses, I don’t have a lot of fans. I don’t even have a fandom.”

“Yeah.” Tumango si Carly. “Some actresses are demanding, too. Iniiwasan naming magkaroon ng clash ang fandoms. Usually pati, nag-de-demand ang fans na maging official love team ‘yong naging one-time partner nila on screen. And this guy...” Itinuro niya si Kobe. “Hates that idea.”

“Itanong mo kung paano kayo magkikita ni Kobe,” bulong ni Eddie sa akin.

Napatango ako at agad siyang sinunod. “Ms. Carly, paano po ‘yong set-up? Everyday po bang magkikita?”

Pinanood ko kung paanong umirap si Kobe. Napasimangot ako. Kanina pa ‘to, ah! Gano’n ba siya kainis na nandito ako?!

“Bobo,” mahinang saad ni Eddie. “Nakakahiya ka, girl. Tama na.”

“Bakit?” I pouted.

“Hindi everyday, Karsen.” Carly slightly chuckled. “Hindi na makakapagtrabaho si Kobe kung araw-araw.”

Ah, oo nga, ‘no?

“May schedule kayo. Siguro ay once to twice a week. Kobe will contact you. Ibinigay ko naman ang number n’yo sa kanya,” paliwanag pa niya. “The team will arrange your friendly dates... or meetings, I guess.”

“Bale, dalawa kaming kikitain ni Kobe sa isang linggo?” bulong ko sa sarili. Badtrip, nagseselos na agad ako. “Bibigyan n’yo po kami ng schedule?” tanong ko ulit.

“Yeah. Actually...” She went through the files on her bag. “This!” She slid the two papers. “I was planning to just send it you virtually, but since you were here...” She shrugged.

Binasa ko agad ang naroon. May ilang linggo na dalawang beses kaming magkikita ni Kobe, at mayroon din namang isang beses lang.

“Next week agad?” bulaslas ko.

“Yup,” si Carly.

“Send me your class schedule.”

Agad akong nag-angat ng tingin kay Kobe. He was eyeing me, brows a bit furrowed. Bakit ko i-se-send?! Crush niya ba ako?!

“Kobe...” suway ni Carly.

He ignored her. Pinagtaasan niya ako ng kilay na parang naghihintay siya ng sasabihin ko.

“No dating, Dior Kobe,” striktang saad ulit ni Carly.

Kobe scoffed. “I know.”

Siniko ako ni Eddie kaya bahagya akong napaubo. Para akong nabulunan kahit wala naman akong kinakain! Hindi ko alam kung dahil ba sa lamig ng silid o sa malalim na tingin ni Kobe kaya nanginginig ako.

Jennifer stood up. “Got to go. See you next week, Dior.”

Sumulyap siya sa babae at muling tinanguan  ito. Hinintay kong makalabas muna si Jennifer bago ako muling tumingin kay Kobe.

“Ano... hindi naman na yata kailangan?” mahinang sambit ko. “Ako na ‘yong bahala sa schedule ko.”

Nakikinig pa rin sa amin si Carly kaya hiyang-hiya ako sa nangyayari. Baka mamaya, iniisip niyang napaka-unprofessional ko dahil si Kobe pa ang mag-a-adjust para sa akin!

“Follow me after that, Kobe.” Tumayo na rin si Carly. Kinuha niya ang bag at ngumiti muna sa akin bago tuluyang umalis.

Kobe’s eyes then went to Eddie, who was comfortably sitting beside me. Tumitig siya rito bago sumulyap sa pinto.

“Ah!” Eddie chuckled nervously. “Labas na rin ako, girl!”

“Huh? Isama mo na ‘ko!” nataranta ako.

“Hindi na!” agap niya. “I-send mo muna kay Kobe...”

Dali-dali siyang lumabas kaya naiwan kaming dalawa ni Kobe roon. My heart was beating frantically. I freaking need oxygen! Tinamaan na ako ng hiya sa mga pinagsasabi ko sa kanya sa text! I couldn’t even look at him!

“Are you free tomorrow?”

Pinigilan ko ang mapasinghap. Pota, ano raw?!

Dahan-dahan akong nag-angat ng tingin sa kanya. As usual, he looked really bored. Hindi ko mabasa sa mata niya ‘yong sinasabi ni Eddie na parang nasa kamang tingin.

“If you’re free tomorrow, let’s start working.”

Umawang ang bibig ko. “S-Seryoso ka?”

“I don’t like wasting time.” Hindi na ako nakasagot dahil tumayo na siya. “Carly’s waiting for me. Find a way to send me your schedule.”

Tulala lang ako nang makalabas siya.

Confirmed. Karsen, mukhang ma-vi-violate mo ang no romantic feelings involved.