I want to heal, I want to feel,
What I thought was never real
I want to let go of the pain I felt so long
I want to heal, I want to feel
Like I'm close to something real
I want to find something I've wanted all along
Somewhere I belong

"Somewhere I Belong"
Linkin Park

LUCY:

The first Care of Magical Creatures lesson of the new year was incredibly fun, though I found myself doubting Cedric would agree. Hagrid built a bonfire of salamanders, and our task was to collect enough brush to keep the fire alive. I expected to be by myself, given the way I'd been too busy to talk much to anyone over the holiday, but to my pleasant surprise, Archie tagged along with me.

"Hey, Diggory, d'you finish the Narnia books yet?"

"I did!" I exclaimed. "I'll give it back to you in Potions tomorrow."

"What did you think? Favorite characters, favorite books?"

"Well, I think Lucy has a pretty cool name."

Archie laughed. "Was it weird reading about a character with the exact same name?"

"A little," I admitted. "Digory Kirke, too. But honestly, I think my favorite character would have to be Peter."

"The whole fight with Miraz in Prince Caspian is epic," he agreed. "That was probably your favorite book, if Peter was your favorite character."

I nodded. "Yeah, I think so."

"You reckon you're ready for Tolkien over the summer?"

"Are his stories like Narnia?"

"Uh..." He chuckled. "Well, you'll see. I don't think you'll be disappointed."

"I'll keep that in mind," I replied. We tossed our kindling into the roaring fire and left to find more. "Where's Cam today? I thought you two were inseparable."

"She tripped leaving Defense Against the Dark Arts today and fell face-first onto a desk. She's fine, of course, but she'll probably be in the Hospital Wing until after classes end."

"Poor thing," I remarked.

"Clumsy thing," Archie corrected.

"How's that going?" I asked as casually as I could. "You and Cam, I mean. I know you've been smitten with her since day one."

He grinned and looked away. "Still working on it. I think I'll ask her to go to Hogsmeade with me, next time we go. Any advice for me?"

I laughed. "Archie, really. Me? Relationship advice?"

Archie cocked his head. "Well, obviously you've got some idea of what girls like. If a guy asked you to Hogsmeade, what would you want him to say? What would you want to do once you actually get to Hogsmeade?"

I felt my cheeks glow bright red despite the cold. "I don't know," I stammered. "I've never really thought about it."

"Think about it, then. If someone were to ask you right now, what would you want him to say?"

I exhaled sharply, thoroughly flustered. I busied myself with grabbing a handful of dry leaves, trying to honestly think of something that would help. Obviously nobody would ever ask me to Hogsmeade; the notion was ridiculous. But if someone did...

"Well, to be honest." I cleared my throat. "Archie, no one's ever going to ask me. But if someone did, he'd have to be very clear. Really straightforward. He'd literally have to say, 'Lucy, would you like to go with me to Hogsmeade? I promise nobody put me up to it, this is just me honestly wanting to spend the day with you in Hogsmeade, just the two of us.'"

Archie nodded thoughtfully. "Clear. Straightforward. I think Cam would like that, too, she's very practical. What about once you actually get there? Madam Puddifoot's Tea Shop?"

I laughed so hard I frightened away a salamander. "Good Godric, no way! I wouldn't be caught dead in there, unless I was making ten galleons off it on a dare or something. No, I'd rather start at Honeyduke's and get a bag of candy we could eat whenever we got hungry later in the day. I'd want to visit Zonko's, but probably not buy anything, and end the day with a butterbeer at the Three Broomsticks. But other than that, I'd love to just spend the day with whoever it was walking around and eating candy and talking about whatever. And..." I let my mind wander, knowing this fantasy would never come to fruition but wanting to see it through anyway. "I'd want to get into the Shrieking Shack. I'd never do it alone, if I had the chance, but I'd do it with him... whoever he was."

I entertained the notion just a bit more. Whoever the boy was, I would obviously have to tell him I was a werewolf. If by some miracle that didn't scare him away, I'd want to go to the Shrieking Shack in broad daylight. Partially to redeem it for myself. Partially to face my fears with someone I loved by my side. I would want him to know. I would want him to see. I would want him to try to understand all of the pain I'd been through, hoping maybe he could somehow make it better. And if he couldn't... well, maybe feeling understood would be enough.

"I could see Cam enjoying Honeyduke's and Zonko's," Archie said, snapping me from my daze. "You're sure about the tea shop? Cedric told me it's the date spot. Like, a classic. Totally traditional."

"It is," I agreed, "but to be frank, Archie, I don't think either of us are very traditional."

"Ah, yeah, you're right. I shouldn't pretend to be something I'm not just to impress a girl. Even if that girl is Cam."

I nodded. "Very wise of you. You want her to like you for you. You shouldn't have to pretend to be someone you're not just because you feel like that's the only way you'll feel loved."

He looked at me out of the corner of his eye. "Something tells me you need to listen to yourself, Diggory."

I dismissed him with a wave of my hand. "Yeah, yeah, maybe."

I was sad to have to trade Archie (my favorite Slytherin) for Draco (my least favorite Slytherin) in Ancient Runes. The whole period was spent reviewing the holiday homework, meaning we essentially had a free period since our homework was perfect. I got a book out to research Buckbeak's case, but it was nearly impossible to focus.

"Heard you and Cedric stayed behind for Christmas. What happened, Diggory, your parents didn't want to see your face and your poor brother stayed behind to keep your sorry arse company?"

"Yeah, that's exactly what happened," I retorted sarcastically. "How perceptive, Draco, I'm really impressed."

"Didn't realize we were on a first-name basis."

I sighed. I tried to call him Draco whenever possible, because I knew he thought the last name Malfoy made him better than anyone else, but I didn't feel like explaining that to him at the moment.

"What're you reading?"

I held up the cover silently, and he barked out a harsh laugh.

"Trying to save the bloody hippogriff, are you?"

"And what if I am?" I asked, feeling my face flame.

"It's pointless, you know. It attacked me. It'll have to pay the consequences."

"His name is Buckbeak," I hissed. "He attacked you because you provoked him. Hagrid warned us to never insult a hippogriff, then you turned around and did exactly that. What would you expect to happen?"

"I doubt that'll much matter to the executioner," he replied in a maddeningly cool voice. "Father says he's rather axe-happy. It's a lost cause, so don't lose any sleep over that monster."

Monster. My favorite word. I felt tears prick the back of my eyes, but I refused to let a single one show.

"No living creature is ever a lost cause," I managed to say.

"Not even you?"

I bit my lip, knowing I was about to cry. I shot my hand into the air. "Professor Babbling, may I use the restroom?"

She didn't even glance up from the essay she was grading. "Of course, Miss Diggory."

I turned around to head to do exactly that, but before I left, I spied an all-too-familiar bushy head of hair in the back corner of the room. Hermione's eyes met mine, and I felt my jaw drop ever so slightly. How long had she been in the class?

I tore my eyes away from her and made a beeline for Moaning Myrtle's bathroom, the only place I knew I wouldn't be bothered. I pulled my knees to my chest and began to cry quietly. I had only been crying for about a minute when a flash of cold made me lift my head in a panic.

"What's wrong?" Myrtle asked, floating in front of me and studying me through her glowing glasses. "Did something horrible happen?"

"Not really," I admitted. "Nothing new, anyway."

"What did he say?"

"What do you mean?"

"When girls cry, it's almost always because a boy said something mean... so what did he say?"

I took a shaky breath. "I said no living creature is a lost cause, and he asked, 'Not even you?'" No sooner had the words left my mouth than I saw Myrtle's eyes well up. "Oh, Merlin's beard, Myrtle, I'm sorry, I wasn't thinking-"

"Am I a lost cause? Since I- I'm-"

"No, not at all! Of course not!"

"But I'm not a living-"

"You are, in your own way. You still matter, Myrtle, and I'm glad you're still here. We never would have saved Ginny without you."

"Really?" she asked with a sniffle.

"Really." I sighed. "I'm sorry for bothering you. I just needed a place to cry after the past couple weeks. Being told I was a lost cause really just..."

"That's horrible!" Myrtle exclaimed, suddenly reminded of what I had first said. "You're not a lost cause! What happened the past couple weeks?"

"My best friend and I had an argument on Christmas, and she doesn't talk to me anymore," I mumbled. "And I've been so busy trying to save a hippogriff from being executed that I haven't had time for any of my other friends, either, and my brother has been studying for his O.W.L.s which I know is stressful but I can't help him, and..." I sobbed again, and Myrtle floated closer. "I feel like I don't belong anywhere. My best friend ignores me. My other friends don't seem to care that I've been busy. And my brother is going to leave in a couple of years anyway, but it feels like he's starting to drift away and move on to the next stage of his life. I don't know where I'll go next..."

"Sounds like a bad couple of weeks."

I nodded, sniffling. "You could say that." I took a deep breath to steady myself and dragged the sleeve of my robe across my face. "I'm sorry, Myrtle, but I should probably head back to class. Thank you for listening to me."

"You're nice to me," she said with a shrug. "Most people just tell me to go away. I like talking to people like you, even if they only come when they're crying."

"I'll be back, then, sometime when I'm happier. I might be a little busy, but I'll come. We can talk about something happier."

"I'd like that. And if you want me to haunt the boy who told you that you're a lost cause, just let me know."

"I think I can handle him for now, but thank you for the offer," I chuckled. I wiped my eyes one last time and returned to Ancient Runes, glancing at Hermione again as I entered. She kept her head bowed, and I could see that she was at least two chapters ahead in the textbook, reading and taking notes feverishly. I slid back into my seat next to Draco, thankful that the class was almost over. He muttered something to be about being a crybaby, but I ignored him.

"Miss Diggory, mind if I have a word with you?" Professor Babbling called as the bell rang.

I groaned internally, since I wanted to confront Hermione and ask how long she'd been in my class without me knowing, but when I glanced over my shoulder, she was already gone, so I headed up to the front of the room. "Yes, Professor?"

"Is that Malfoy boy giving you trouble still?" she asked. "I'd be happy to talk to him if he is."

I shook my head quickly. "No, no need, Professor, but thank you. He's not giving me trouble."

"I'm glad to hear it. You're top of the class. I can't sit idly by if he's continuing to be rude to my best student like he was the first day."

"I'm... top of the class?"

"You get perfect marks on everything, Miss Diggory," she laughed. "Why do you look so surprised?"

"Because I just found out today that Hermione's in this class and I've never noticed her before," I blurted out, unable to help myself. "She's always the top of every class."

"Ah. Yes, well, her marks are still very, very good, but you're the top of this class. Feel free to remind Mr. Malfoy of that fact any time you'd like," she added with a twinkle in her eyes. "Go on to your next class now, I don't want you being late."

I smiled, remembering DADA was next. "Will do. Thanks, Professor!"

Harry already occupied the spot next to Ron that Hermione always took, so I occupied my typical seat and waited for Hermione. She slid into the other half of the desk silently and immediately reached for her books. I blinked and turned to her.

"What happened? You left Ancient Runes before I did."

"I guess you walk quickly," she muttered, not meeting my eyes.

"How long have you been in my Ancient Runes class?"

"I only missed the first day."

"Why don't you have a partner like the rest of us?"

"I work best alone," she snapped, finally looking at me. Her eyes flashed. "Any other questions?"

I winced ever so slightly. "No, I guess not."

She sighed. "You're impossible."

"I... what?"

"It's impossible to be cross with you for very long," she mumbled.

"You seemed to have an easy enough time with it," I replied in a small voice.

"Yeah, well... I'm good at being cross with people."

"Are you trying to say you want to be friends again?" I asked tentatively.

She nodded. "If you're not cross with me, that is."

"I stopped the second our argument ended," I admitted. I managed a smile. "I, on the other hand, am absolutely dreadful at being cross with people."

Hermione giggled. "We balance out well."

I nodded. "We do."

Professor Lupin began the lesson then, and I was glad Hermione and I had smoothed things over. Sitting next to her was far nicer than it would have been otherwise, and based on the dirty looks Ron continued to fire over his shoulder at her, it seemed our seating arrangement would last quite a while.

After class, Harry caught my eye and gestured for me to stay. I nodded to show I understood, and he walked to the front of the room as I put my books away. Hermione left the room quickly when she saw Ron was coming our way, leaving Harry and I alone with Professor Lupin.

"Ah yes, let me see," Professor Lupin was saying. "How about eight o'clock on Thursday evening? Does that work for you, Lucy?"

I nodded, realizing that Harry had asked about the dementor-handling lesson.

Professor Lupin tapped his chin thoughtfully. "The History of Magic classroom should be large enough. I'll have to think carefully about how we're going to do this, since we can't bring a real dementor into the castle to practice on. Ah, I'll think of something. See you two tomorrow!"

Harry and I exited the classroom and caught up with Ron.

"Still looks ill, doesn't he? What d'you reckon's the matter with him?" Ron asked.

A loud huff could be heard behind us, and we turned around to see that Hermione was trying to shove a book into her very-full bag, kneeling in front of a suit of armor.

"And what are you tutting at us for?" Ron's voice was like ice.

"Nothing," she replied, but her tone made very clear it was more than nothing.

Ron didn't miss it. "Yes, you were. I said I wonder what's wrong with Lupin, and you-"

"Well, isn't it obvious?"

"Hermione," I warned in a strangled voice. "Please don't... start something else."

Her eyes widened slightly as she realized what she was about to say.

"If you don't want to tell us, don't," Ron said.

"Fine," she snapped. "Let's go, Lucy, we have that Ancient Runes essay to write."

I cast an apologetic look at the boys and followed her to the library, immensely relieved Hermione hadn't blurted out both Professor Lupin's secret and mine in a single angry outburst.

Thursday evening, Harry and I left the Gryffindor Tower for the History of Magic classroom. It was dark and empty, so we lit the lamps and waited.

"So you and Hermione are talking again?" he asked.

I nodded. "She told me, and I quote, 'It's impossible to be cross with you for very long.'"

"Ron and I were surprised she was upset with you for as long as she was, since she had no good reason to be in the first place. We knew she'd break sooner than later."

"Didn't give her much of a chance to talk to me," I admitted with a shrug. "She told me to leave her alone, so I did." Eager to shift the attention off of myself, I rubbed the back of my neck and grinned. "The plimpies survived the blizzard, by the way. Hagrid got to them in time. I asked."

Harry laughed. "I'm happy to hear it. What'd he do, feed them some of Monday's salamanders?"

I shook my head. "No, he-"

At that moment, Professor Lupin entered the room, smiling and carrying a massive case. He set it down on Professor Binns's desk, and Harry and I walked over, curiosity thoroughly piqued.

"What's that?" Harry asked.

Professor Lupin shrugged out of his coat. "Another boggart. I've been combing the castle ever since Tuesday, and very luckily, I found this one lurking inside Mr. Filch's filing cabinet. It's the nearest we'll get to a real dementor. The boggart will turn into a dementor when he sees you, so we'll be able to practice on him. I can store him in my office when we're not using him; there's a cupboard under my desk he'll like."

Harry and I shuddered involuntarily, nodding nonetheless.

Professor Lupin drew his own wand, and gestured for us to do the same. "So... the spell I am going to try and teach you two is highly advanced magic, well beyond Ordinary Wizarding Level. It is called the Patronus Charm."

I raised my eyebrows in surprise, thinking of the conversation that had taken place on the shores of Lake Tahoe all those months ago. He was going to try to teach us how to cast patronuses?

"How does it work?" Harry asked uncertainly.

"Well, when it works correctly, it conjures up a patronus, which is a kind of anti-dementor, a guardian that acts as a shield between you and the dementor. The patronus is a kind of positive force, a projection of the very things that the dementor feeds upon --- hope, happiness, the desire to survive --- but it cannot feel despair, as real humans can, so the dementors can't hurt it. But I must warn you both that the charm might be too advanced for you. Many qualified wizards have difficulty with it."

"Anything that might help with the dementors," I said with a shake of my head. "Anything."

"What does a patronus look like?" Harry inquired.

"Each one is unique to the wizard who conjures it."

"And how do you conjure it?"

"With an incantation, which will work only if you are concentrating, with all your might, on a single, very happy memory. The incantation is this: Expecto patronum!"

Harry and I repeated it under our breath a couple of times, trying to think of our happy memories.

"Who wants to go first?" Professor Lupin asked.

"I'll go, I have a memory ready," Harry said.

"Alright. Lucy, you might want to go as far back as you can. I'd rather not have both of you fainting at the same time, if it comes to that."

I nodded and retreated to the furthest corner of the room.

"Concentrating hard on your happy memory, Harry?"

Harry nodded. "Oh, yeah. Expecto patrono... no, patronum, sorry. Expecto patronum, expecto patronum."

A silver wisp shot out of his wand, and he jumped.

Harry looked at me. "Did you see that? Something happened!"

I shot him an excited thumbs-up before he turned back to Professor Lupin, who smiled and said, "Very good! Right, then, ready to try it on a dementor?"

"Yes." Harry moved to the middle of the classroom, and I watched his knuckles whiten as he gripped his wand.

When Professor Lupin opened the suitcase, a massive dementor emerged. I shivered, fighting to stay conscious myself. The classroom lights flickered and died. Harry must have been feeling much worse than I was, but he still held his wand out in front of him valiantly.

"Expecto patronum! Expecto patronum! Expecto... expecto pa..."

I rushed forward as he crumpled to the ground. Professor Lupin wrestled the dementor back into the case with a couple of spells of his own, and relit the lamps.

I knelt beside Harry and held my wand out toward him. "Rennervate!"

Professor Lupin knelt on his other side as Harry's green eyes fluttered open and found my face.

"Sorry," he mumbled, pushing himself to a sitting position. I quickly pressed my shoulder against his shoulder to keep him upright.

"Are you okay, Harry?" I asked as Professor Lupin handed him a Chocolate Frog.

"Yeah," he replied unconvincingly, taking the chocolate.

"Eat that before we try again with Lucy. I didn't expect you to do it your first time; in fact, I would have been astounded if you had."

"It's getting worse... I could hear her louder that time... and him... Voldemort..."

Professor Lupin and I exchanged a worried look.

"Harry, if you don't want to continue, I will more than understand-"

Harry sat up straighter, inadvertently shaking my hand off his shoulder in the process. "I do! I've got to! What if the dementors turn up at our match against Ravenclaw? I can't afford to fall off again. If we lose this game we've lost the Quidditch Cup!"

"I'll try now," I said. "Three Chasers is the ideal number, after all."

"Very well," Professor Lupin said with a nod. Harry pushed himself to his feet and retreated to the corner. "Focus on your boggart becoming a dementor first, Lucy."

I nodded, taking a deep breath.

"You have your happy memory?"

I closed my eyes, remembering how I felt on the Jet Ski. The cold breeze in my hair, the warm sun on my arms as they clung tightly to my brother. I opened my eyes and smiled. "I do. I'm ready."

I held my wand in front of me as the dementor emerged. "Expecto patronum!" I shouted, already feeling the cold sapping my strength. "Expecto patronum!"

But the cold ultimately overwhelmed me. Harry was right; the sounds were louder. Everything fell into its place in the memory.

"We need to get back to the hotel, baby girl."

"Daddy, I'm five now. I'm not a baby anymore!"

"You'll always be my baby girl, Lucy. Let's just go back-"

The first snarl.

"Lucy! Lucy, no, not my Lucy! Get away from her!"

The bite. The scream.

"Lucy! Daddy's coming! Hang on, baby girl! Lucy! Lucy! Lucy!"

The second snarl. The whine. The sounds of fighting.

The single whisper. "Impossible."

The crack.

"Lucy, come on, please-"

I opened my eyes slowly. Like Harry, I was flat on my back, my face covered in cold sweat. I shielded my eyes from the bright, bright lamps with the sleeve of my robe.

"I'm okay," I said, wiping my face and rising to a sitting position. Harry grabbed my shoulder when I swayed, and I opened my eyes wide enough to take the chocolate Professor Lupin offered.

"Are you sure you're alright, Lucy?" he asked.

I nodded, opening my eyes wider. "You were right, Harry, it was louder."

"Do you know what it is, yet?"

I glanced at Professor Lupin meaningfully, but I shook my head. "Lots of... shouting. Someone shouting my name. The sounds of a fight." I shook my head again. "It's chaotic."

"Would you each like to try one more time?" Professor Lupin asked. "If not, I completely understand-"

"I'll go again," Harry and I said at the same time, making all three of us grin a bit.

"Alright, then. You two are resilient."

I retreated to the corner again and finished the Chocolate Frog as Harry got into position again. I shut my eyes tightly as the dementor emerged, but I jumped into action when Harry's shouting stopped abruptly.

"We're stopping here for the night," Professor Lupin said, relighting the lamps.

"Harry couldn't take another round, even if it was just me," I agreed, rushing to Harry's side.

This time, it took three reviving spells to bring him around. He tried to sit up, but I laid a gentle hand on his shoulder. "Not yet."

He sank back down and closed his eyes. Professor Lupin and I waited in tense silence for him to say something, anything.

After about a minute, he opened his eyes again, a couple of tears slipping down his cheeks. "I heard my dad... that's the first time I've ever heard him. He tried to take on Voldemort himself, to give my mum time to run for it..."

I helped Harry to a sitting position, this time needing to sit back-to-back with him to keep him up.

"You heard James?" Professor Lupin asked.

"Yeah... why? You didn't know my dad, did you?"

"I... I did, as a matter of fact. We were friends at Hogwarts. Listen, Harry, Lucy and I thought perhaps we should leave it here for tonight. This charm is ridiculously advanced, I shouldn't have suggested putting you through this."

Harry jumped to his feet so quickly I nearly landed flat on my back. "No! I'll have one more go! I'm not thinking of happy enough things, that's what it is! Hang on..."

"I'll try one more time while you think, Harry," I offered, rising to my feet. "I want another go, too."

"Lucy-"

"I'll do whatever you do," I replied. I twirled my wand while keeping him locked in my gaze, daring him to argue with me. "Currently, you've had two tries and I've had one."

He studied me a moment longer before nodding. "Alright. Go for it."

I nodded back and gripped my wand. I closed my eyes and pulled up another memory. Last Christmas. Cedric and I dancing around the kitchen making fudge and singing Christmas carols. Tuck running between my legs and knocking me off balance. A massive cloud of flour snowing down around us as we laughed. I opened my eyes again. "I'm ready."

The dementor floated toward me, and I started shouting the incantation over and over again. I watched as a cloud of silver separated me from the dementor for half of a second, but the dementor pressed on closer to me, and I was lapsed again into darkness. But rather than being further back in time like Harry's, the memory started in the same place.

"We need to get back to the hotel, baby girl."

"Daddy, I'm five now. I'm not a baby anymore!"

"You'll always be my baby girl, Lucy. Let's just go back-"

The first snarl.

"Lucy! Lucy, no, not my Lucy! Get away from her!"

The bite. The scream.

"Lucy! Daddy's coming! Hang on, baby girl! Lucy! Lucy! Lucy!"

The second snarl. The whine. The sounds of fighting.

The single whisper. "Impossible."

The crack.

But this time, after the crack, the memory continued. There was light, bright light, and more voices.

"Amos! What happened? Who's- oh, Merlin!"

I heard panicked voices murmuring back and forth among themselves, my screams drowning everything out. With another crack, I found myself back on the ground, but I couldn't bring myself to open my eyes for several seconds.

When I did, Harry's face swam above me.

"Lu! Are you okay?"

I nodded, throat too clogged with unshed tears to reply out loud. I swallowed hard and tried to sit up, but Harry pushed me down.

"No way," he said, his voice shaking. "Not after you've been unconscious for five minutes."

"Here," Professor Lupin said, handing me some chocolate. "I was so excited, seeing the cloud, but it wasn't quite as strong as I first thought."

"Neither am I," I added in a low voice, taking a bite. "I... I thought I'd seen everything. I thought... I thought the crack of someone disapparating was the end of the memory, but... but there was more this time."

"So I went further back in time, and you went further ahead?" Harry inquired.

I nodded. "I guess so." I pushed myself up and managed a smile at Harry. "If you try one more time, I will."

"If I replicate the cloud, will you be satisfied that we're even?"

I nodded. "For tonight. But it better be an impressive cloud."

I staggered to the corner one last time and watched as Harry readied his wand.

"Ready?" Professor Lupin asked resignedly. I could tell he really didn't want Harry going again. "Concentrating hard? Alright, go!"

The dementor extinguished all of the lights again, and drained all of the warmth from the room.

Despite this, Harry's shouts were the strongest they'd been yet. "EXPECTO PATRONUM! EXPECTO PATRONUM! EXPECTO PATRONUM!"

A cloud, even stronger than mine, emerged from Harry's wand.

"Riddikulus!" Professor Lupin said, stepping between Harry and the dementor.

Harry lowered himself into a chair, and I rushed over.

"Harry, you did it!" I exclaimed. "Did you see that? You kept the dementor at bay!"

He looked like he was still somewhat in shock, but he managed a smile. "Does that count as an impressive cloud?"

"Yes, of course," I laughed.

Professor Lupin came over, beaming. "Excellent! Excellent, Harry! That was definitely a start!"

"Can we have another go? Just one more go?"

"Not now. You've had enough for one night. Here, both of you." Professor Lupin handed Harry a massive chocolate bar. "Split that. Eat the lot, or Madam Pomfrey will be after my blood. Same time next week?"

"Sounds good," I agreed, accepting the half Harry handed me.

Harry sat up suddenly. "Professor Lupin? If you knew my dad, you must've known Sirius Black as well."

I watched the professor's reaction carefully. I had wanted to ask for so long, but never found the way.

He turned around so quickly I would have missed it if I had blinked. "What gives you that idea?"

"Nothing. Well, I mean, I just knew they were friends at Hogwarts too-"

Professor Lupin nodded, his shoulders relaxing. "Yes, I knew him. Or I thought I did. You'd better be off, you two, it's getting late."

Harry and I rounded the corner and sank to the ground. The only sounds in the corridor was the crunch of the chocolate wrapper and our shaky breathing.

"I guess I shouldn't have mentioned Black," he said.

"I'm glad you did," I admitted. "I've been wondering the same thing for a while."

He nodded slowly.

He sighed a couple minutes later, his whole body shaking. "My aunt and uncle told me my parents died in a car accident. That's how they explained my scar, too. Hearing how they really died... bravely, trying to protect me to the last moment..."

I leaned my head against his shoulder, wishing there was something I could say or do to make everything right. But he had told me that my presence alone helped, that day at the Quidditch Pitch after he learned that Sirius Black had betrayed his parents, so I figured reminding him of the fact that I was there would help at least a little bit.

"Did I ever tell you why I blew up my aunt?"

I shook my head. "No, and I didn't want to ask."

"She insulted my parents. She was telling me I had a mean, runty look about me, saying it came from my mum, claiming she was a bad egg. She asked what my dad did, and my uncle told her he was unemployed. I... I couldn't help but defend them. She kept going, and before I knew what was happening, she was floating away like a balloon. I didn't mean to do it, but I've never been so angry in my entire life. I couldn't help it. And now..." He managed a weak laugh. "Now, honestly, I don't regret it one bit. Hearing their last moments makes me all the angrier with my aunt and uncle for saying they died in a car crash, and for making them out to be good-for-nothings. My parents deserved so much better."

"They did," I agreed immediately.

"Life isn't fair."

"No, it's not. Not at all." I closed my eyes and saw the faces of my own parents flash before my eyes. They deserved better, too. I... well, I reckoned at least my mom was alive. My dad... maybe I would never know. I swallowed away the tears that were crawling up my throat. "What memory did it for you?"

"When I found out I was a wizard. When Hagrid told me I'd be leaving the Dursleys forever."

"Are all Muggles that awful, Harry?"

He shook his head. "No. They're not all saints, of course, but... but I think the Dursleys are among the worst."

"You'll have a proper family one day," I said. "I know it."

"I hope so." He paused. "What memory did you use the second time?"

"Last Christmas with Cedric," I said, laughing a bit. "You have a picture of part of the chaos. I specifically thought of the time my dog tried to run between my legs when I was carrying a bag of flour and knocked me off balance."

Harry laughed, too. "What happened?"

"Exactly what you'd expect, I reckon. I went down, the flour went up. It looked a lot like snow."

"I see why that memory worked," he chuckled. He rested his head against the top of mine. "Reckon we should head back now?"

"Yeah, I guess so." I sighed. "I've missed you. Try not to be mad at Hermione too much longer, will you?"

"Working on it. I think it'll take Ron longer to get over it than me, honestly, and it's not even his broom." He lifted his head from mine and rose to his feet, offering me a hand up. "I'm glad we had tonight."

I nodded. "I'm glad we could be together. I don't even want to imagine going through this all alone."

"It'd be lonely," he agreed, and we walked back to the common room. We went our separate ways, reluctantly, and I showered away the sweat still clinging to my skin before climbing into bed, exhausted.

I hoped my exhaustion would keep the nightmares away. It didn't.

At least it wasn't the night I was bitten again, I guess. That night, my brain decided to relive the moment that made me afraid of water.

It started as a good dream. Claire and I were playing down by the water, swim rings around our waists, hers bright pink and mine bright blue --- some may have called it sky blue. Our parents were close by, smiling at our antics as we splashed around.

Claire yelped suddenly. "Ow!"

"What's wrong, Claire?" I asked, rushing over to help her.

"Pointy rock," she complained. "You stay and play. I'll get Mommy to help me."

She limped off, and I returned to the ocean. I watched as she limped away up the sand to my parents, who immediately knelt down to examine her foot. I was too caught up in trying to make sure she was okay to notice that the ocean had disappeared.

"Lucy, look out!" my dad suddenly shouted, sprinting toward me, his face full of terror that made my stomach drop.

But before he could reach me, he disappeared in white bubbles, and I couldn't breathe. The blue ring popped off, leaving me spinning in the ocean with no idea which way was up and which way was down. I tumbled over and over and over again, salt water burning my nose and eyes and throat. Just when I thought I wouldn't last a second longer, strong hands grabbed my hips and pushed me above the water, just long enough for me to gulp a breath of air before the next wave pushed me under again. I started to tumble again, but the same strong hands held me steady, propelling me forward until I was above water again. I took another deep breath, beginning to cough and cry.

The rest of my body was soon lifted out of the water, and my dad pulled me to his chest, his hands being the ones that had saved me.

"You're okay, Lucy, Daddy's got you," he said softly, kissing the top of my head. I cried even harder and wrapped my arms around his neck.

I was jolted from my dream by a large mass of orange fur landing on my face.

I threw Crookshanks off in a panic, the suffocation of my dream still too real. He managed to land on his feet, but he fixed me with a glare before slinking away.

"I'm sorry!" I whispered after him, scrambling from bed. "Crookshanks, wait, I'm sorry! I just panicked!"

The cat paid me no mind and left the room. I followed him, whispering apologies and trying to get him to come back to the dormitory. But by the time I had reached the common room, Crookshanks was nowhere to be seen. I didn't feel like trying to fall back asleep quite yet, so I made my way over to the window seat and curled up in a ball, leaning my head against the cool glass.

An overwhelming sense of being lost settled like an icy blanket on my shoulders. I remembered too well the first time I'd sat in this place, over two years ago, when I felt I should have been a Hufflepuff rather than a Gryffindor. I remembered too well how I felt like I was being torn in two directions, my soul divided by the words of the Sorting Hat.

My job is to sort you for who you are, not for your family is or who they would like you to be.

Who knew my family would be so complex?

I felt torn in two all over again, but not just between Hufflepuff and Gryffindor this time. I wanted so badly to be a part of my biological family again; I wanted to be as close with Claire as we once were, I wanted to hear my dad call me Sky Eyes again, I wanted to try one of my mom's famous cinnamon rolls. But as much as I wanted that, I was afraid, too. If they were anything like Harry's aunt and uncle and cousin, would they even want me? Harry wasn't even a werewolf. I was a monster by everyone's standard, both magical and Muggle. But... I was still Claire's sister. I was still my parents' daughter. And Mr. Midgen said they were still looking for me. That had to count for something.

I opened the window slightly so I could breathe the cold, clean air of the January night. It was so much better than the saltwater from my nightmare. I opened the window slightly further and leaned my head out ever so slightly.

"Wherever you are," I whispered to the night, "I'll find you. It might take me a long time. I might doubt myself along the way." I felt a single tear slide down my cheek. "Claire, Mom, Dad. I'll find you, somehow. I promise."

A/N: I hope you all enjoyed this chapter! Thank you for reading, and please leave feedback down below!