HARRY:

The second Lucy returned, I could tell she had been crying. But Ginny was acting like nothing had happened whatsoever, so I figured I should follow her lead and do the same.

Lucy didn't speak again the rest of the ride. She was completely and utterly lost in her own thoughts. She stroked Tuck's ears, but didn't engage at all in the conversation that flowed around the cart. When Hermione suggested the rest of us change, she suddenly snapped from her daze, eyes going wide with panic as she glanced out the window.

"What is it?" I asked quietly, not wanting to attract anyone else's attention in case that made her panic more.

She didn't look away from the window, only shaking her head in response. I didn't press her, and her gaze remained fixed on the window as the rest of us changed in the compartment.

Once the train stopped, Ron and Hermione ducked out of the carriage to help organize everything. Neville and Ginny and Luna gathered their belongings and slipped from the compartment into the crowd, but Lucy remained frozen in place. Her hands no longer stroked Tuck's ears. She stared out the window, even though there was nothing to see except endless darkness.

I got Hedwig's cage down, then lowered myself onto the seat next to Lucy, this time the one between her and the window.

"What is it?" I asked again.

Her eyes didn't meet mine, didn't leave the window, but she offered an answer the second time.

"Harry, this feels too much like moving on." Tears sprang to her eyes. "Everything this summer was just like something out of someone else's life. It just felt like a separate story. None of it felt real, none of it feels real." She was talking faster and faster, though she still hadn't moved save the tears racing down her cheeks. "But now, if I get off this train, I have to acknowledge that he won't be at the Hufflepuff table at dinner and he won't fall asleep in the bed next to Henry tonight and he won't be at the Hufflepuff table at breakfast and he won't be going to class and he won't be announcing the Quidditch training schedule and helping the first years find their classes and..." She squeezed her eyes shut, clenching her fists. "This feels too much like moving on, but I'm not ready, I don't want to."

I reached forward and wiped away a tear with my thumb.

"I'm sorry," I said, then shook my head. "Merlin, sorry, I hate that, I hate when people say that. That was the worst possible-" I tried again. "I don't really want to get off, either. I'm worried about Siri- Snuffles. I'm worried that everyone will still be staring at me the way they did last June. I'm worried that Neville will douse us all in stinksap again by accident."

She opened her eyes, the slightest hint of a smile on her face. "Stinksap's not poisonous, though."

"Yeah, but it didn't smell fantastic either, did it?"

"No, it didn't."

I released a small sigh, running my fingers through my hair. "Look, Lu, you're not the only one who would rather... I don't know. Go back in time? Stay here forever?"

"I just don't want to move on," she whispered. "This feels too much like moving on, moving forward."

I rose to my feet and held out a hand. "That's okay. You don't have to move on by yourself. We can take the first step together."

Lucy glanced up at me, an odd expression on her face. She inhaled slowly, blinked, then accepted my hand and let me pull her up.

The two of us made our way off the train in silence. I eagerly listened for Hagrid's familiar call of "Firs' years over here, firs' years!"

But instead, I was met with a female voice, shouting, "First years line up over here, please! All first years to me!"

"Where's Hagrid?" I wondered aloud, unable to stop myself.

Lucy's face went slack. "I don't... I don't know..."

We were shuffled along in the crowd, lost in our own anxious thoughts.

He can't have left. He's just got a cold or something.

I glanced around for Ron and Hermione as we made our way to the horseless carriages, but they were nowhere to be found.

Or at least, the carriages that were once horseless.

Now in front of each carriage was a massive skeletal horse. With wings. And a reptilian head.

"Thanks for carrying Pig," Ron said, appearing suddenly behind me.

"Yeah, of course. Where d'you reckon-"

"-Hagrid is? I dunno. He'd better be okay..."

Hermione appeared suddenly behind us, red in the face. "Malfoy was being absolutely foul to a first year back there, I swear I'm going to report him, he's only had his badge three minutes and he's using it to bully people worse than ever. Where's Crookshanks?"

"Ginny's got him. There she is."

Hermione hurried forward and took Crookshanks from Ginny, grabbing Lucy by the arm in the process. "Thanks! Come on, let's get a carriage together before they all fill up."

Luna emerged from the crowd, smiling at Pig. "He's a sweet little owl, isn't he?"

"Er, yeah, he's alright," Ron replied.

The group of us headed toward a carriage, and I finally spoke up.

"What are those horse things?" I asked.

"What horse things?" Ron asked right back.

"The horse things pulling the carriages!"

"What are you talking about?"

"I'm talking about — look!" I took Ron by the arm and turned him so he was inches from the horse's face, staring into its white eyes.

Ron shook his head and turned back around. "What am I supposed to be looking at?"

"At the — there, between the shafts! Harnessed to the coach! It's right there in front." I froze. "Can't you see them?"

"See what?"

"Can't you see what's pulling the carriages?"

Ron shook his head again, more slowly this time. "Are you feeling alright, Harry?"

"I... yeah...?"

What in Merlin's name is going on? If this is some sick joke Ron's trying to pull...

"Shall we get in, then?" he asked, staring at me with something between concern and confusion.

"Yeah... yeah, go on..."

Ron climbed in, and Luna spoke suddenly from behind me.

"It's alright. You're not going mad or anything. I can see them too."

"Can you?" I asked, feeling somewhat relieved.

"Oh yes. I've been able to see them ever since my first day here. They've always pulled the carriages. Don't worry. You're just as sane as I am."

She smiled then, and climbed up into the carriage. I looked at the horses one last time before following suit.

Lucy looked at Ron, then Luna, then me. She bit her lip, glancing at the front of the carriage.

"Thestrals," she said.

"What?" I asked.

"Have you always thought the carriages pulled themselves?"

I nodded slowly. "You can see them too?"

"Yeah." Lucy kicked Ron lightly. "Hey, stop looking so worried. Harry's not crazy. You can only see thestrals if you've seen death, which is why we can and you can't."

Ron blinked, looking between me and Lucy. "You mean, you...?"

"Yeah." Lucy glanced away, offering no further explanation.

The carriage started rolling, and I strained forward for a view of the castle. As soon as it appeared, I felt a rush of warmth.

I was home.

But beside me, Lucy sniffled. I glanced over at her, startled by the sight of tears flowing freely down her cheeks. She hadn't cried in front of anyone other than me before.

She must be too distraught to care.

I glanced around the carriage. Everyone's eyes were on her, but Lucy stared at the castle, completely oblivious. I was tempted for a second to touch her hand, to put my arm around her shoulders, to do something to try to help. But I didn't want to risk alerting her to the fact that everyone in the carriage was watching her, or to the fact that I had noticed anything in the first place.

She had told me she didn't want to move on. But with every step the thestrals took, she was moving one step further away from Cedric, from her parents. One step closer to the unknown, one step closer to the descending war. One step closer to whatever came next.

So I let her sit in the moment without interruption. I knew it would end soon enough.

The carriages came to a stop at the stone steps, and Lucy dragged her sleeves across her cheeks and jumped down without glancing at anyone. I was right on her heels, and hurried until I was by her side.

I grazed her hand with my pinky. "Together, yeah?"

"Yeah," she replied, her voice a crackling whisper. She glanced over at Hagrid's hut, and somehow, her eyes grew even sadder. Her eyes grew sadder still when Hagrid wasn't at the staff table, either.

"He can't have left," Ron said.

"Of course he hasn't," I replied. "Not a chance."

"You don't think he's... hurt, or anything, do you?" Hermione asked tentatively.

I shook my head. "No."

"So where is he?" Lucy asked, settling across the table from the rest of us and glancing around for the twins.

Hermione dropped her voice so low only I could hear her. "Maybe he's not back yet. You know — from his mission — the thing he was doing over the summer for Dumbledore."

"What thing?" Lucy inquired immediately.

I cocked my head. "How did you hear that?"

"Hear what?" Ron asked, looking between Lucy and me with confusion written all over his face.

Lucy turned bright red. "I have good ears. What thing?"

The twins arrived just then, and I mouthed to her, "Later."

She nodded in understanding and turned to Fred, who was repeatedly tapping her shoulder. "What?"

"You. Malfoy. Story. Now."

Lucy turned an even brighter shade of red. "Oh, that was noth-"

"It was bloody brilliant," I said pointedly, raising my eyebrows at her. "Don't be shy, tell them about it."

She reluctantly told a very watered-down version of the story. Before I could give a fuller account of the incident, the first years wandered in, looking remarkably small and scared. I hoped I hadn't looked just like that four years ago.

The rip in the Hat opened, and it began to sing.

"In times of old when I was newAnd Hogwarts barely startedThe founders of our noble schoolThought never to be parted:United by a common goal,They had the selfsame yearning,To make the world's best magic schoolAnd pass along their learning.'Together we will build and teach!'The four good friends decidedAnd never did they dream that theyMight someday be divided,For were there such friends anywhereAs Slytherin and Gryffndor?Unless it was the second pairOf Huffepuff and Ravenclaw?So how could it have gone so wrong?How could such friendships fail?Why, I was there and so can tellThe whole sad, sorry tale.Said Slytherin, 'We'll teach just thoseWhose ancestry is purest.'Said Ravenclaw, 'We'll teach those whoseIntelligence is surest.'Said Gryffindor, 'We'll teach all thoseWith brave deeds to their name,"Said Hufflepuff, 'I'll teach the lot,And treat them just the same.'These differences caused little strifeWhen first they came to light,For each of the four founders hadA House in which they mightTake only those they wanted, so,For instance, SlytherinTook only pure-blood wizardsOf great cunning, just like him,And only those of sharpest mindWere taught by RavenclawWhile the bravest and the boldestWent to daring Gryffindor.Good Hufflepuff she took the rest,And taught them all she knew,Thus the Houses and their foundersRetained friendships firm and true.So Hogwarts worked in harmonyFor several happy years,But then discord crept among usFeeding on our faults and fears.The Houses that, like pillars four,Had once held up our school,Now turned upon each other and,Divided, sought to rule.And for a while it seemed the schoolMust meet an early end,What with dueling and with fightingAnd the clash of friend on friendAnd at last there came a morningWhen old Slytherin departedAnd though the fighting then died outHe left us quite downhearted.And never since the founders fourWere whittled down to threeHave the Houses been unitedAs they once were meant to be.And now the Sorting Hat is hereAnd you all know the score:I sort you into HousesBecause that is what I'm for,But this year I'll go further,Listen closely to my song:Though condemned I am to split youStill I worry that it's wrong,Though I must fulfill my dutyAnd must quarter every yearStill I wonder whether sortingMay not bring the end I fear.Oh, know the perils, read the signs,The warning history shows,For our Hogwarts is in dangerFrom external, deadly foesAnd we must unite inside herOr we'll crumble from within.I have told you, I have warned you...Let the Sorting now begin."

"Branched out a bit this year, hasn't it?" Ron quipped.

"Too right it has," I replied. I glanced over at Lucy to see how she was taking it, then followed her gaze; her eyes were locked on the Hufflepuff table, at the spot still empty beside Henry. Henry was clearly trying to steel himself against what was inevitably coming. Someone would take that spot. A first year who didn't know. I spotted the prefect badge on his chest and felt a surge of sympathy for him. To have to live with the hole of Cedric's absence was one thing; attempting to fill it was another. I understood that, a little bit, anyway.

"Harry... take my body back, will you? Take my body back to my parents, and Lucy? And... and take care of Lucy for me? Please?"

"I will. I promise."

I blinked and returned my attention to the front of the room. To my horror, I recognized one of the new witches at the staff table, bedecked thoroughly in pink.

"It's that Umbridge woman!" I hissed.

"Who?" Hermione asked.

"She was at my hearing, she works for Fudge!"

"Nice cardigan," Ron muttered with an amused smile.

Hermione shook her head. "If she works for Fudge, what on earth's she doing here?"

As if she could hear us, Umbridge's head swiveled in our direction. Hermione and Ron looked away, but I didn't. But she wasn't looking at me. Her eyes landed on Lucy, who was now absently tracing the wood pattern on the table, her finger trembling more violently than usual.

Hermione jabbed her elbow into my side and held her hand with the ring out below the table.

I did a double take. Lucy's half was blank.

We glanced up in unison at Lucy in a panic, but she was lost in her own head. Her eyes were completely devoid of emotion.

George kicked me under the table. "What is it?" he mouthed.

Hermione and I exchanged a brief look before shaking our heads and turning toward the Sorting Hat. But Hermione left her hand where I could see it, half bright purple and half blank silver.

Lucy's half of the ring flickered back to life — a deep blue — when the first Hufflepuff was sorted and immediately filled the seat next to Henry. But her grief was beyond tears; she looked for a second before dropping her eyes and twisting the ring around her finger.

When the Sorting was over, Dumbledore rose to his feet, and I felt oddly comforted by the sight. Sure, maybe Hagrid wasn't there, sure, the thestrals were creepy, but Dumbledore was still at Hogwarts.

I knew it would be okay with him around, even if it was different.

He offered a dazzling smile. "To our newcomers, welcome! To our old hands — welcome back! There is a time for speech making, but this is not it. Tuck in!"

The food magically appeared on the plates, and we struck up a conversation with Nearly Headless Nick as we dove in. Hermione looked worriedly at Lucy's plate, but she seemed hungrier than usual after not eating anything since breakfast, so neither of us said anything about it or suggested she eat more.

Eventually, Dumbledore rose to his feet and addressed the Hall again.

"Well, now that we are all digesting another magnificent feast, I beg a few moments of your attention for the usual start-of-term notices. First years ought to know that the forest in the grounds is out of bounds to students — and a few of our older students ought to know by now too.

"Mr. Filch, the caretaker, has asked me, for what he tells me is the four hundred and sixty-second time, to remind you all that magic is not permitted in corridors between classes, nor are a number of other things, all of which can be checked on the extensive list now fastened to Mr. Filch's office door.

"We have had two changes in staffing this year. We are very pleased to welcome Professor Grubbly-Plank, who will be taking Care of Magical Creatures lessons; we are also delighted to introduce Professor Umbridge, our new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher.

"Tryouts for the House Quidditch teams will take place-"

"Hem, hem."

Dumbledore fell silent and glanced over at Umbridge. Nobody had ever interrupted him before.

"This should be good," Fred quipped under his breath.

"Thank you, Headmaster, for those kind words of welcome," she said in her same sickeningly sweet voice as she walked up to the front in her sickeningly pink and sickeningly fluffy cardigan. "Well, it is lovely to be back at Hogwarts, I must say! And to see such happy little faces looking back at me! I am very much looking forward to getting to know you all, and I'm sure we'll be very good friends!"

Then she launched into her speech.

"The Ministry of Magic has always considered the education of young witches and wizards to be of vital importance. The rare gifts with which you were born may come to nothing if not nurtured and honed by careful instruction. The ancient skills unique to the Wizarding community must be passed down through the generations lest we lose them forever. The treasure trove of magical knowledge amassed by our ancestors must be guarded, replenished, and polished by those who have been called to the noble profession of teaching."

Lucy's face suddenly flushed with anger. Her nostrils flared as she exhaled sharply, her jaw clenched.

"What?" I asked, eager for an excuse to listen to her rather than to the speech.

She shook her head. Her blue eyes were uncharacteristically cold, not leaving Umbridge's face. She was hanging onto every word she said.

I couldn't bring myself to pay the same attention. Her speech was dreadfully long and dreadfully... well, dreadful. Dreadful, period.

By the time she finally sat down, Lucy's face was Gryffindor red. I could see her positively quaking with suppressed anger.

Dumbledore assumed his typical position at the front of the room with obvious relief, though his words were kind and calm. "Thank you very much, Professor Umbridge, that was most illuminating. Now — as I was saying, Quidditch tryouts will be held at the discretion of the captains..."

"Yes, it certainly was illuminating," Hermione muttered.

"You're not telling me you enjoyed it? That was about the dullest speech I've ever heard, and I grew up with Percy," Ron whispered.

"I said illuminating, not enjoyable. It explained a lot."

I blinked. "Did it? Sounded like a load of waffle to me."

"There was some important stuff hidden in the waffle, some..." Lucy said suddenly from across the table, a biting edge to her words. "I could... oh, I'm so furious I could..." She shook her head, too upset to continue.

"Like 'progress for progress's sake must be discouraged'?" Hermione said. "How about 'pruning wherever we find practices that ought to be prohibited'?"

Lucy nodded. "Not to mention what she said in the beginning that sounded dangerously close to blood supremacy."

"Well, what does that all mean?" Ron asked.

Hermione sighed heavily. "I'll tell you what it means. It means the Ministry's interfering at Hogwarts."

"And there are thinly-veilied blood supremacy ideas behind it all," Lucy added, shooting Umbridge a murderous look. But as soon as she did, like a switch had been flipped, the fire in her eyes died. She released a shuddering sigh that sounded like a sob, shaking worse than ever.

Dumbledore had apparently concluded his speech, because the Great Hall began to empty. Lucy jumped up and rushed out, and I darted after her, also eager to avoid the stares I knew we would receive if we stayed.