LUCY:

The worst part of life after being kidnapped and tortured was the shaking.

I heard Professor Lupin mutter to Mrs. Weasley that he was in contact with St. Mungo's, and they said the shaking would stop eventually. Everyone grew increasingly worried as my shaking worsened with time instead of getting better.

But I wasn't quite as worried, because I knew why.

The cycles of the moon never stopped for anything or anyone.

August was no different.

I wasn't allowed to help with any of the cleaning. I was getting a little stronger by the day, but I still shook uncontrollably no matter what I did, so I often landed on the couch of whatever room everyone else was working in. From time to time, the twins would slip me a stunned creature like a doxy that I was responsible for hiding until Mrs. Weasley left the room. They were experimenting more than ever for their products, and it was nice to feel included in at least a tiny part of the process

I was never alone.

After that first morning in Grimmauld, Harry started making excuses to stay with me until I fell asleep every night. He kept the nightmares away.

Harry helped keep the fears at bay during the day, too. Whenever the horrible screaming portrait of Walburga Black was triggered downstairs, his head always snapped in my direction to make sure that a) it wasn't me screaming, and b) I wasn't terribly upset by it. Whenever someone in the Order updated me on the search for Rose or how the Ministry was handling the report about me, Harry's hand found mine under the table. His hand often found me, for any reason, whether he was feeling my forehead or trying to help stop the shaking or even just confirming for himself that I was right there beside him.

Every little touch helped. It grounded me. It reminded me why I had made the decision to come back.

Harry was my lifeline. My safety net. My center of gravity.

But he didn't know what the full moon meant for me. And after everything I'd been through, I wasn't about to tell him. Voldemort had thought I'd want to join him because I was a werewolf after all. What was to stop Harry from thinking the same?

One day, the twins kept Harry occupied so I could have a moment alone with Professor Lupin to come up with a plan for the full moon. (They told me later it was a next-to-impossible task, and I believed it wholeheartedly.) Professor Lupin said the twins had already volunteered to go back to my house with me under the guise of helping me get my school supplies together, since Tonks had only packed the bare minimum for life at Grimmauld. I told him that I had transformed in the basement in July, since my parents were too afraid of the woods to let me go out for the night. He looked pained as he told me it would probably be safest for me to do that again. Harry returned before we had time to think on it further, shaking his head and muttering something about how he would never try any candy the Weasleys offered him again, but the plan was in place.

I tried to find a time to tell Harry the story about going home to pack for school. But before I knew it, the night before the full moon had arrived and he still didn't know.

It was going to be easy. I was going to walk upstairs with him after dinner, tell him the well-rehearsed lines, and say I'd be leaving the next day after lunch, just for overnight, I'd be back the next morning. But dinner ended up being quite the event.

It started with a shout from Mrs. Weasley of "Fred — George — NO, JUST CARRY THEM!"

A number of dishes flew through the air and crashed to the table in a variety of disastrous ways. Harry cracked up next to me, but Mrs. Weasley was livid.

"FOR HEAVEN'S SAKE! THERE WAS NO NEED — I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF THIS — JUST BECAUSE YOU'RE ALLOWED TO USE MAGIC NOW — YOU DON'T HAVE TO WHIP YOUR WANDS OUT FOR EVERY TINY LITTLE THING!"

"We were just trying to save a bit of time!" Fred yelped, rushing forward with George to try to fix the mess. I yanked a knife out of the table and passed it to him as Mr. Weasley piped up.

"Boys, your mother's right, you're supposed to show a sense of responsibility now you've come of age—"

"None of your brothers caused this sort of trouble! Bill didn't feel the need to apparate every few feet! Charlie didn't charm everything he met! Percy-"

She fell silent. I had heard about the fallout between Percy and the rest of the Weasleys, making his actions the day I escaped all the more confusing. But that wasn't what really bothered me about what she said.

I had heard similar lines from my dad for the better part of ten years. I was never as good as Cedric.

The thought brought tears to my eyes, which I tried to force away, but Harry saw.

"What is it?" he whispered.

I swallowed hard and shook my head, reaching for a glass of water to hide my face until I successfully pushed the tears back.

The table slowly came to life, but I was lost in my own world. I was spiraling, thinking about Cedric, and Dad, and Mum, and how 24 hours from then I'd be in the basement of my haunted house...

I snapped back to reality when Sirius turned to Harry.

"You know, I'm surprised at you. I thought the first thing you'd do when you got here would be to start asking questions about Voldemort."

Harry stiffened. "I did! I asked Ron and Hermione but they said we're not allowed in the Order, so-"

"And they're quite right, you're too young," Mrs. Weasley interrupted.

"Since when did someone have to be in the Order of the Phoenix to ask questions? Harry was trapped in that Muggle house for a month. He's got the right to know what's been happen-"

The twins interrupted indignantly.

"Hang on!"

"How come Harry gets his questions answered?"

"We've been trying to get stuff out of you for a month and you haven't told us a single stinking thing!"

"'You're too young, you're not in the Order.' Harry's not even of age!"

Sirius shrugged. "It's not my fault you haven't been told what the Order's doing. That's your parents' decision. Harry, on the other hand-"

"It's not down to you to decide what's good for Harry! You haven't forgotten what Dumbledore said, I suppose?" Mrs. Weasley fired back at Sirius.

"Which bit?" he replied.

"The bit about not telling Harry more than he needs to know."

"I don't intend to tell him more than he needs to know, Molly, but as he was the one who saw Voldemort come back, he has more right than most to-"

"He's not a member of the Order of the Phoenix! He's only fifteen and-"

"-and he's dealt with as much as most in the Order, and more than some-"

"No one's denying what he's done! But he's still-"

"He's not a child!"

"He's not an adult either! He's not James, Sirius!"

"I'm perfectly clear who he is, thanks, Molly."

"I'm not sure you are! Sometimes, the way you talk about him, it's as though you think you've got your best friend back!"

"What's wrong with that?" Harry cut in suddenly.

"What's wrong, Harry, is that you are not your father, however much you might look like him! You are still at school and adults responsible for you should not forget it!"

"Meaning I'm an irresponsible godfather?" Sirius challenged.

"Meaning you've been known to act rashly, Sirius, which is why Dumbledore keeps reminding you to stay at home and-"

"We'll leave my instructions from Dumbledore out of this, if you please!"

Mrs. Weasley turned to Mr. Weasley. "Arthur! Arthur, back me up!"

He hesitated before responding. "Dumbledore knows the position has changed, Molly. He accepts that Harry will have to be filled in to a certain extent now that he is staying at headquarters-"

"Yes, but there's a difference between that and inviting him to ask whatever he likes!"

Professor Lupin cleared his throat softly. "Personally, I think it better that Harry gets the facts — not all the facts, Molly, but the general picture — from us, rather than a garbled version from... others."

Mrs. Weasley crossed her arms. "Well, well... I can see I'm going to be overruled. I'll just say this: Dumbledore must have had his reasons for not wanting Harry to know too much, and speaking as someone who has got Harry's best interests at heart-"

"He's not your son," Sirius said almost inaudibly.

"He's as good as. Who else has he got?"

"He's got me!"

"Yes. The thing is, it's been rather difficult for you to look after him while you've been locked up in Azkaban, hasn't it?"

I sucked in a silent breath of shock. I couldn't believe what I'd just heard.

I wondered for half a second if something similar would ever happen when I found my first family. If one group would resent the other for the way they'd cared for me. I... I didn't have to worry about my second family anymore, my brother and parents were dead, but... but at the same time...

Professor Lupin's voice forced me to focus again. "Molly, you're not the only person at this table who cares about Harry. Sirius, sit down. I think Harry ought to be allowed a say in this. He's old enough to decide for himself."

"I want to know what's been going on," Harry said without hesitation.

"Very well. Everyone not in the Order, I want you out of this kitchen, now."

None of the other five children were thrilled about that, all protesting loudly.

Mr. Weasley sighed. "Molly, you can't stop Fred and George, they are of age-"

"They're still at school!"

"But they're legally adults now."

"I — oh, alright then, Fred and George can stay, but Ron-"

"Harry'll tell us everything you say anyway!" Ron protested.

"Fine! Fine! Ginny, bed!"

She wasn't happy about leaving.

I had half a mind to follow her.

I didn't want to be there.

But I had already been drafted.

I'd been kidnapped for a reason.

I'd been tortured for a reason.

I'd been wanted by Voldemort himself for a reason.

So I swallowed my fear as well as I could — that is to say, not well at all — and listened intently.

"Okay, Harry... what do you want to know?" Sirius asked.

"Where's Voldemort? What's he doing?"

Professor Lupin's eyes found mine briefly. I nodded in a gesture of It's okay, go ahead.

"Well... with one notable exception, he has been largely working underground recruiting, not killing. And he only killed because... well... his plan was threatened when Susan Diggory-" Harry's hand found mine under the table. "-decided to speak out. He feared her influence, and he knew that she had ruffled Ministry feathers with that article and her boldness, so he correctly assumed the Ministry would be quick to blame the deaths on the same type of former Death Eaters that caused such chaos at the Quidditch World Cup."

"He doesn't want to draw attention to himself at the moment, as much as he possibly can," Sirius said, changing the topic slightly to save me from everyone's pitying stares. I appreciated it. "It would be dangerous for him. His comeback didn't come off quite the way he wanted it to, you see. He messed it up."

"Or rather, you messed it up for him," Professor Lupin corrected.

Harry cocked his head. "How?"

Sirius grinned. "You weren't supposed to survive! Nobody apart from his Death Eaters was supposed to know he'd come back. But you survived to bear witness."

I felt as if I'd been punched in the stomach. But I didn't have time to process anything, because Professor Lupin was talking again.

"And the very last person he wanted alerted to his return the moment he got back was Dumbledore, and you made sure Dumbledore knew at once."

"How has that helped?" Harry asked.

"Are you kidding? Dumbledore was the only one You-Know-Who was ever scared of!" Bill said.

"Thanks to you, Dumbledore was able to recall the Order of the Phoenix about an hour after Voldemort returned," Sirius added. "We've been working as hard as we can to make sure Voldemort can't carry out his plans."

"How d'you know what his plans are?" Harry asked.

"Dumbledore's got a shrewd idea, and Dumbledore's shrewd ideas normally turn out to be accurate."

"So what does Dumbledore reckon he's planning?"

"Well, firstly, he wants to build up his army again. In the old days he had huge numbers at his command; witches and wizards he'd bullied or bewitched into following him, his faithful Death Eaters, a great variety of dark creatures. You heard him planning to recruit the giants; well, they'll be just one group he's after. He's certainly not going to try and take on the Ministry of Magic with only a dozen Death Eaters."

I hazarded a glance at Professor Lupin, asking the silent question if I was part of that effort. His single subtle nod made my heart drop to my toes.

I had already been drafted.

"So you're trying to stop him getting more followers? How?" Harry pressed.

"Well, the main thing is to try and convince as many people as possible that You-Know-Who really has returned, to put them on their guard. It's proving tricky, though, because of the Ministry's attitude. You saw Cornelius Fudge after You-Know-Who came back, Harry. Well, he hasn't shifted his position at all. He's absolutely refusing to believe it's happened."

Harry shook his head disbelievingly. "But why? Why's he being so stupid? If Dumbledore-"

Mr. Weasley tapped his nose and pointed at Harry. "Ah, well, you've put your finger on the problem. Dumbledore. You see, Fudge thinks Dumbledore's plotting to overthrow him. He thinks Dumbledore wants to be Minister of Magic. He's never wanted the Minister's job, even though a lot of people wanted him to take it when Millicent Bagnold retired. Fudge came to power instead, but he's never quite forgotten how much popular support Dumbledore had, even though Dumbledore never applied for the job."

Professor Lupin sighed. "Deep down, Fudge knows Dumbledore's much cleverer than he is, a much more powerful wizard, and in the early days of his Ministry he was forever asking Dumbledore for help and advice. But it seems that he's become fond of power now, and much more confident. He loves being Minister of Magic, and he's managed to convince himself that he's the clever one and Dumbledore's simply stirring up trouble for the sake of it."

"How can he think that? How can he think Dumbledore would just make it all up — that I'd make it all up?"

"Because accepting that Voldemort's back would mean trouble like the Ministry hasn't had to cope with for nearly fourteen years. Fudge just can't bring himself to face it. It's so much more comfortable to convince himself Dumbledore's lying to destabilize him," Sirius muttered,

"Comfortable?" I asked, finding my voice for the first time. "He's ignoring Ced— he's doing all of this because acknowledging what has happened would make him uncomfortable?"

Everyone turned to look at me. To my surprise, I didn't blush under everyone's gaze. My anger, boiling just below the surface, kept me from shying away. I was tempted for half a second to go on, but I forced the anger away and braced myself for whatever response came next.

"It might interest you to know that your experience gave him a bit of pause," Professor Lupin said. I could tell he was carefully crafting his response to protect me as much as possible, which I appreciated. "At least it did, at first. It was his Senior Undersecretary, not Fudge, who wanted you to come in for a hearing. The Minister himself was satisfied with the report we gave and was willing to accept the explanation that we weren't sure why you'd been spared but everyone was obviously glad you were and not press the matter further because you'd been through enough. It was the other official, the Senior Undersecretary, who wanted you charged for the damage done to your captors and punished for the fact that the Muggles of the village heard the explosion and released the Death Eaters trapped in the rubble and saw... well, all of your other handiwork."

That was what made me blush. "I can only imagine the types of Memory Charms..." I shook my head to force myself to focus. "But... people other than... than my mum are trying to spread the word, right?"

Everyone around the table nodded emphatically.

"Why d'you think Dumbledore's in such trouble?" Sirius asked.

It was my turn to cock my head. "Trouble? How so?"

"They're trying to discredit him. Last week, for instance, the Daily Prophet reported that he'd been voted out of the Chairmanship of the International Confederation of Wizards because he's getting old and losing his grip, but it's not true, he was voted out by Ministry wizards after he made a speech announcing Voldemort's return. They've demoted him from Chief Warlock on the Wizengamot — that's the Wizard High Court, Harry — and they're talking about taking away his Order of Merlin, First Class, too."

Bill chuckled. "But Dumbledore says he doesn't care what they do as long as they don't take him off the Chocolate Frog cards."

Mr. Weasley shook his head. "It's no laughing matter. If he carries on defying the Ministry like this, he could end up in Azkaban and the last thing we want is Dumbledore locked up. While You-Know-Who knows Dumbledore's out there and wise to what he's up to, he's going to go cautiously for a while. If Dumbledore's out of the way — well, You-Know-Who will have a clear field."

"But if Voldemort's trying to recruit more Death Eaters, it's bound to get out that he's come back, isn't it?" Harry asked.

"Voldemort doesn't march up to people's houses and bang on their front doors, Harry. At least, not usually," he amended with a sympathetic glance my direction. "He tricks, jinxes, and blackmails them. He's well-practiced at operating in secrecy. In any case, gathering followers is only one thing he's interested in, he's got other plans too, plans he can put into operation very quietly indeed, and he's concentrating on them at the moment."

"But..." I glanced around the table to see who would be able to answer my question. "If that's true, then why...?"

"He didn't expect to fail with you, Lucy," Professor Lupin said gently. "For all of his secrecy, he can be terribly arrogant and make costly mistakes as a result of that arrogance at times. Percy wasn't supposed to see the Dark Mark, at least not as soon as he did. You weren't supposed to escape."

I shuddered involuntarily, and Harry's hand tightened around mine, and I found it harder to ignore everyone else's stares that time. I set my jaw, somewhat annoyed by the way everyone was looking at me like I was made of glass.

If I were made of glass, I would have shattered a long damn time ago.

"Well, I for one would like to make a habit of thwarting his plans," I said plainly, prompting a couple of amused grins around the table. "What's he after apart from followers?"

It was Sirius who answered me this time. "Stuff he can only get by stealth, like a weapon. Something he didn't have last time."

"When he was powerful before?" Harry asked.

"Yes."

"Like what kind of weapon? Something worse than the Killing Cur-"

"That's enough," Mrs. Weasley interrupted suddenly. "I want you in bed, now. All of you. You've given Harry as well as Lucy plenty of information. Any more and you might just as well induct them into the Order straightaway."

Harry straightened up. "Why not? I'll join, I want to join, I want to fight-"

"No," Professor Lupin said, shaking his head. "The Order is comprised only of overage wizards. Wizards who have left school. There are dangers involved of which you can have no idea, any of you. I think Molly's right, Sirius. We've said enough."

"Even me?" I asked hesitantly, staying in my chair even as the others started to walk toward Mrs. Weasley. I lowered my voice to almost a whisper. "What do I have left to lose at this point?"

A curiously sad expression flickered across Professor Lupin's face. "Lucy, what happened to you was... horrible. And significantly so. What happened to you was not typical, and I think you perhaps don't fully understand that yet, but you will one day. I know that you would be able to shoulder what the Order would require of you, I know anyone here would, but none of us want you to have to shoulder that yet. You are still children, and this is not your war to fight yet, even though you and Harry have been unfortunately caught up in it already."

That left only one question.

"So this is war?"

The silence around the table told us all we needed to know.

Before I left, Professor Lupin called after me, "Oh, and Lucy? Tomorrow is all sorted, right?"

I nodded. "I'm leaving after lunch. It should give me enough time to make sure I have everything ready," I added meaningfully.

He nodded to show he understood, and I followed after Harry, who was looking at me with a confused expression.

"Tomorrow?"

I looked down at my shoes as we climbed the stairs. "I'm going home for the night with the twins to pack things for school. I didn't bring much here with me, just the backpack. I'm going to need more for Hogwarts."

"Oh, okay. When were you planning on asking me?"

I blinked. "What do you mean?"

"To go with you?"

I hesitated. "Harry, I — I don't think you're going. It'll just be me and Fred and George. It wouldn't be safe for you."

"Not safe for me?"

"Er, yeah." I was beginning to panic. He could not come. "It wouldn't be safe for you."

"Would it be safe for you?"

I stopped on the landing, looking at him. "It's my house. It'll be alright just for one night."

"So why can't I come, Lu?" His voice was still gentle, but I could tell it was weighing on him.

I hadn't anticipated that he'd want to go.

But I really should have seen it coming.

"Because it wouldn't be safe for you," I said a third time, aware of how pathetic that excuse sounded for a third time.

"But it's safe for you?"

"You just don't understand," I stammered. "You can't come."

"Then help me understand," he said desperately. "Please, Lu, what is it you're hiding? What don't I understand? If you don't want to talk about whatever happened with Voldemort and the Death Eaters yet, fine, but-" He dragged his hand down his face. "Can't you see how much I want to help? Whatever you're willing to tell me, Lu, I..."

I hesitated. I was afraid, but not of Harry. I was afraid of the truth.

But he needed to know I trusted him in spite of the truth I was still hiding.

I took a step closer and sighed shakily. "I think Professor Lupin's right. I don't know if I completely understand everything that's happened yet, and I don't know if I'm ready to try to start to understand. I mean-" I swallowed hard. "Harry, I lost... I..."

Unwilling tears came to my eyes, and Harry quickly wrapped his arms around me.

"It's okay, you're okay," he said quickly, sincerely. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to upset you."

I accepted the hug, hiding my face in the folds of his robes. "It's okay, Harry, it's not your fault, I'm just... weak, I guess."

He pulled away in surprise. "Lucy, what...? Where did that come from?"

"Should I not have said that?" I asked, blushing.

He shook his head. "That was a lie is what that was," he replied.

"I just..." I sighed again, and tears suddenly sprang to my eyes again. I hurriedly dragged my sleeve across my face and shrugged in a See? sort of gesture. "Sometimes I feel so angry when I see everyone looking at me like I'm about to break, and then I do break like I am right now, and it just makes everyone worry even more, and it's just this vicious cycle back and forth between being angry and being sad and... and..."

Harry swiped away one of the tears that I missed, his expression gentle but somewhat unreadable. "It's okay, Lu, really. You don't have to tell me anything, you don't have to explain yourself to me. I just wish there was more I could do to help."

"Just stay with me, please," I whispered. "I can't lose you too." I swallowed hard, finding a truth within the next day's cover story and running with it. "I would just... I would just feel better if I knew you were safe here. Is that alright?"

Harry nodded. "That's alright if that's what would make you feel better, of course it is. I just... please promise me you'll be safe, too. I almost lost you once, Lu, and I don't know what I'd do if..."

This time, I was the one who stepped forward and hugged him. He hugged back tighter this time, tighter than he had in a while.

"I'll always come back." I closed my eyes and held him tighter, too. "I promise."

The next day, the twins and I landed in the middle of my living room.

I swore under my breath as I started to fall forward, but they caught me by the shoulders.

"Easy does it, Cub," Fred commented cheerfully, though I could tell I had freaked him out.

I straightened up and shook their hands off. "'M fine, 'm fine." I looked around, and a chill settled in my bones.

My house was haunted now more so than it had ever been.

"Okay, maybe I'm not," I said in a voice little more than a whisper. "Merlin, this is horrible."

"Maybe you should start in your room, Cub," George suggested.

"Yeah, that's your space and no one else's," Fred added. "George and I will go set up the protective enchantments and make sure no one's lurking in the bushes."

I managed a nod as they disappeared from the room. As soon as the front door closed, I turned on my heel and sprinted up to my bedroom, not looking at the pictures on the wall or the scorch marks on the floor and the ceiling. As soon as I reached my bedroom, I closed the door behind me and sank to the ground, burying my head in my hands.

This is torture.

I should have swallowed my pride and told Harry.

No no no, Harry can't know. He's been too- too- no, I can't tell him and risk losing him.

Eventually, I lifted my head from my hands. Eventually, I pushed myself to my feet. Eventually, I opened my trunk. And eventually, I started sifting through everything.

Three piles. Bring with me, leave here, unsure.

The bring pile was on my bed. School books. Quills. Gryffindor robes.

The leave pile was shoved into the corner of my room. On top of it, the stuffed osprey I'd never gotten to give Cedric.

I stared at the unsure pile, the largest of the three, in the middle of the room. My fifteenth birthday gift from Cedric, the book and the vials full of memories. The tiny dragons he and Harry had given me after the first task, who paced around the pile as if they were guarding it. My Quidditch robes, and my broom.

It was overwhelming. I didn't want to be alone anymore.

I turned away and hurried down the stairs.

"What's wrong?" George asked immediately.

I shook my head. "Nothing. Just..." I shook my head again, noticing for the first time the overflowing box of letters he and Fred had placed on the kitchen table. "Are those...?"

"Well, we think your mum's enchantments kept everything in and everything out." Fred passed me a letter with my name on it in Hermione's handwriting. "Because we wrote you constantly, but never heard back."

"And I wrote you constantly, too," I murmured, opening the letter but not reading it yet.

George held up a letter in my handwriting. "We reckoned that, too."

I stared at the box. It must have contained hundreds of letters.

"They're mostly addressed to you," Fred commented. "We've just been sorting through to make sure none of them are carrying curses. We don't need another Hermione fan mail situation."

I almost laughed. "Bubotuber pus and head cold blasts." I shook my head, blinking away the tears that came when I remembered Cedric had been the one to catch me when I passed out and I realized he'd never do that again. "Merlin, what am I going to do with all of those?"

"Well, obviously you don't have to worry about replying to ours, though you might be interested in reading them," George said. "I'm sure Hermione at the very least will want to read the ones you tried to send her. Fred and I can read the ones you wrote us tonight. Speaking of, how long do we have?"

I glanced at the clock. "A couple hours."

Fred nodded. "Great, that's what we were thinking. Are you done getting everything together?"

I shook my head.

"Do you want help?"

I shook my head again.

"Would you rather watch us work on a couple of things for the joke shop?"

When I nodded, they set up camp in the living room. I curled up in Cedric's favorite armchair and listened to their running commentary as they worked. The magic was fascinating, truly, and the distraction was a nice change of pace. The twins just tinkered, occasionally asking my opinion on one thing or another.

I made my way back up to my room after a while to finish up. Once my trunk was packed with everything I'd need for the school year — except for my new books and a new wand, which I would go with Professor Lupin to get after the full moon — I made my way back downstairs and resumed my seat in the chair.

Eventually, the sun began to sink. It was time for me to go. They realized this and glanced up at me at the same time.

I nodded and rose from the chair, heading to the door that led down to the basement.

I crossed my arms over my chest and glanced back and forth between the twins.

"Once I close the door behind me, neither of you can open it for any reason until I come back in the morning. Cast all of the silencing charms you want, and you should put something heavy in front of the door until morning just in case."

"But shouldn't we be able to get to you if something goes wrong?" George asked, cocking his head.

"No. That's why I recommended the silencing charms. I don't care how loud I am, you cannot go down. If I see a human, I will bite. So just cast the silencing charms, block the door so I can't get out, and once I hear you move whatever it is away in the morning, I'll come up. Don't look at me like that," I added softly, glancing down at my shoes so I didn't have to see the fear and pity in their eyes. "I'm just telling you what my parents did in July. I'll take care of the rest. There's nothing anyone can do to stop what's about to happen to me, so please just make sure you're both safe."

I could tell that they didn't want to let me go. It was so rare the twins were silent, rarer still they looked sad.

I couldn't make the promise that I'd be fine. I knew that after everything I'd been through, this transformation would possibly be the worst I'd ever experienced.

But I forced my own terror away and tucked my hair behind my ears.

"See you in the morning," I said with as much confidence as I could muster. I didn't wait for a reply before turning on my heel, throwing the door open, and slamming it behind me. "It locks from your side."

I waited for a click, but it didn't come.

"Please, I-" I sighed. "I-I can't hurt you. Why are you hesitating?"

"Why are we hesitating?" Fred repeated. "Cub, we can't just lock you away and shut you up and try to pretend that any of this is okay."

"'Okay' or not, it's going to happen," I snapped. "I can't let myself hurt you. I'm a monster, don't you remember? I thought you understood that."

"And I thought you remembered us telling you that you weren't," George added.

"Don't you remember what Sirius was saying last night about dark creatures?" I shouted louder and louder as I backed down the stairs, away from the closed door. "Don't you realize who he was talking about? Why do you think I was allowed to live but my parents weren't? I'm the werewolf, I'm the monster, they wanted me!"

"We know he wanted you!" Fred called back. "But you came back to us, didn't you? Don't you think that means anything?"

"I don't know anymore! But it doesn't change the fact that-" All of the air in my lungs was startled out of me when I unexpectedly reached the bottom step.

The darkness of the room pressed in on all sides. The world around me pitched as a wave of dizziness swept over me.

"Please just lock the door, if nothing else," I called weakly, hoping they could hear me. "It's not like I'll know too much different, anyway. Soon enough, I won't remember anything about the last month and a half," I added, bitterness lacing my tone. I breathed a small sigh, feeling the first of the pain begin. "I'll see you in the morning."

GEORGE:

Before we could reply, a bloodcurdling scream — so loud it was as if the door were wide open — met our ears.

"Lucy, are you okay?" I shouted, panic surging through me at the sound of her distress.

When her only answer was a second scream, somehow even worse than the first, I glanced out the window.

It was the transformation.

"Merlin," Fred breathed, locking the door with a shaking hand. We backed one step away, freezing in our tracks when she screamed a third time. This scream ended in something like a yelp. The fourth scream ended in a howl. Then another howl. And another howl. And another howl. Fred and I remained rooted to the ground with horror.

The first crash made us both jump a foot into the air.

"I just wish there was something we could do," I said as I tried to force away the worry.

"We'll patch her up in the morning and get her back to Harry as soon as possible. I'm sure he can take care of the rest."

"I can't believe she hasn't told him yet," I commented, shaking my head.

"Yeah, if I weren't so worried about hurting her or breaking her trust in doing so, I'd have told him myself at this point," Fred agreed.

"It seemed like she might have been considering it before... well, all of this." I swallowed hard remembering what she'd said from the other side of the door. "I mean, we've already assured her we don't think she's a monster. But if she can doubt us on that now because of what they did to her, I can only imagine how terrified she is to tell anyone else ever again." I shook my head, bitterness making my chest tighten. "It's not — not bloody fair, none of it."

Fred nodded silently.

Another crash made us jump and shocked us out of our angry, bitter stupor.

We sorted through the Diggorys' letters, making a Susan pile, an Amos pile, and a Lucy pile. We'd bring her parents' piles to Lupin and Moody to investigate. Lucy would probably enjoy reading hers over the course of the next couple of days, since she was always so tired after the full moon.

After that, we read the letters Lucy had written to us that hadn't been able to get through her mum's protective enchantments. The letters were short, nothing of interest, really. But it hurt to read how badly she was hurting all by herself.

Neither of us felt like sleeping, so we brewed a large batch of wideye potion while we worked in the living room.

The night was punctuated with various noises from below. Crashes, whimpers, the occasional sharp cracking noise, the occasional howl. And there was nothing we could do.

We both understood what she had meant about the silencing charms. But neither of us considered actually casting one for a second. It was good to have at least a faint idea of what was going on down below, even if it was nothing good.

The wideye potion wore off about 3 in the morning. We were both jolted awake by a crash, immediately followed by howls that made the hair on the back of my neck stand up. When the screams started, we jumped to our feet and rushed to the door, waiting for the screams to stop and for her to come up.

But when the screams ended, we were met with silence. Complete silence.

"Everything alright, Cub?" Fred called.

Silence.

"Lucy?"

Silence.

"I know you wanted to come up yourself, but please just let us know you're okay."

Silence.

"Lucy, we're coming down," I called. Fred and I drew our wands in unison, unlocking the door.

"Lumos maxima," Fred muttered.

The light of his wand revealed Lucy at the base of the stairs, deathly pale and clearly unconscious.

I'd never gone down a flight of stairs so quickly in my life, and I'd once tried roller skating down a bannister.

I dropped to my knees and reached for her wrist to find a pulse, and I realized with horror that both wrists had massive bite marks wrapping all the way around. I pressed my fingers lightly to her neck instead, where her pulse was thready and rapid.

"She's alive, but barely," I whispered.

Fred pointed his wand at her. "Rennervate."

She jerked to back to consciousness, and her eyes immediately widened in fear.

"Lucy, it's okay, it's just me, I won't hurt you," Fred said quickly, tucking his wand away and holding his hands up. "George and I are both here. You're safe. Nobody's going to hurt you anymore, I promise."

"Fred, we need to get Mum," I muttered. I could see how hard Lucy was working to breathe.

Lucy shook her head. "No. Please. She doesn't know. I don't want her to know."

"Cub, you... you're..."

"Cedric."

I blinked. "No, no, I'm George-"

"No. Cedric."

Fred and I exchanged a look before turning back to her.

"What are you trying to tell us, Cub?" Fred asked, his voice shaking.

She took a deep breath and tried again. "Cedric had books. Healing spells. For me."

"Would they be upstairs?"

"Yeah."

"Stay with her, I'll be right back." Fred jumped to his feet and sprinted up the stairs, shouting summoning spells as he went in an attempt to find the books faster.

Lucy's eyes fluttered shut, but I shook her shoulder. "Hey, stay with me, Cub. I don't want to have to revive you again, that startled you."

"It's how they brought me around after torturing me," she mumbled, her eyes still closed. "I thought I was back there."

She shuddered, and I felt her forehead.

"Merlin, Cub, you're freezing," I said, glancing around for anything that could help warm her up. "What happened?"

Lucy opened her eyes and gestured weakly with her chin across the room. "That fell. On me."

I illuminated my wand as I turned around. "Lucy, that's a massive shelf! What was it doing down here in the first place?"

"Dad said it'd be fine," she said. "I managed to get out from under it at some point, then I think I passed out from the pain."

"Did you break your ribs?" I asked, checking to make sure there were no blood stains other than those on her sleeves from her wrists.

"Feels like I did," she replied in a voice so casual we might have been talking about something as silly a paper cut if not for the barely-masked pain that lay within her words. "Bloody hell, it hurts."

"I know, Cub, I know, I'm sorry." I brushed her hair away from her face, letting my fingers graze her forehead again. She was fading, and fast.

Fred appeared suddenly in the doorway, three books in his arms.

"These all have little bookmarks with 'L' written on them. This has to be it, right?"

Lucy nodded. "Those."

"Broken ribs, find one for broken ribs," I muttered, snatching a book from his hands and flipping through as quickly as I possibly could. "Got it!"

I studied the incantation for a moment before murmuring it and hoping for the best.

Lucy sighed in relief. "That helps. Thank you."

"An episkey should do for these, yeah?" Fred asked, gesturing to her wrists.

Lucy nodded. "Should be fine. I usually heal those by myself, but seeing as I don't really want to trigger the Trace again-"

"Say no more."

Fred and I each healed a wrist, and Lucy pushed herself to a sitting position.

"Thanks, boys, that feels loads better." She blinked, then glanced up the stairs. "Is that wideye potion I smell?"

I couldn't help but laugh. "Lucy, give us a moment to catch our breath!"

She blushed. "Right. Sorry. This is... well, somewhat normal for me. I forget."

She shifted so she could lean back against the wall. Fred and I automatically moved to either side of her, and I realized she had the right idea. It was nice leaning on something so solid after feeling as if I'd been in a free fall of fear.

Lucy pulled her knees to her chest and closed her eyes. "First year, it was a wardrobe in the Shrieking Shack. I knocked it over, and it broke my ribs, too. Ribs are tricky, though, and the spell you used hadn't been discovered yet. It took more than a month to feel fully healed."

"Will it take that long this time, too?" I asked, horrified.

"No, it shouldn't. I didn't have the same spell last time. Cedric..." She paused and took a deep breath before continuing. Saying her brother's name was still hard for her, which was partly why Fred and I were so taken off guard by her saying it in the first place while half-conscious. "Cedric constantly sought out new healing books. He read each and every one cover-to-cover, taking tons of notes, but as you can see, he flagged everything that would help me in particular so he'd be able to take care of me whenever I... well..."

"Had a night like last?" Fred finished for her.

Lucy nodded. "Exactly." Her head drooped onto my shoulder, and she yawned. "Alright, boys, are you giving me the wideye upstairs, or am I sleeping here for the next three days?"

"I think Harry would hex us into oblivion if we kept you two separated much longer," Fred quipped, rising to his feet and hauling Lucy to hers. "Your potion awaits."

"So does a shower," she mumbled as she climbed the stairs. I followed closely behind, just in case she stumbled. But she didn't, somehow.

I was still shaking from the whole ordeal. I couldn't believe how, well, casual Lucy was being about it all.

Surely enough, Lucy chugged what was left of our wideye potion without hesitation, then headed upstairs to take a shower while Fred and I cleaned up our night of inventing.

LUCY:

I didn't feel quite as great as I was trying to pretend I felt. When I slipped into the shower, I did the best I could to clean the scrapes and scratches on my arms and legs, taking special care of the bite marks around my ankles the twins hadn't seen.

I had frightened them enough with breaking my ribs, like an idiot. I didn't need to worry them any further.

Still, I showered as quickly as I could.

I missed Harry. And I was ready to leave this haunted house, for a long time. Until I was ready to truly unpack everything that had happened under that roof, the good and the bad alike.

I didn't know when exactly that would be, but I wasn't ready yet.

Soon enough, I was ready to return to Grimmauld. I held the twins' bag while they each took a handle of my school trunk. George's free hand grabbed mine, and the three of us returned to the 12 Grimmauld Place living room with a loud crack.

I had only just passed George their bag of inventions when the door to the living room flew open.

Harry darted across the room and scooped me up into a tight hug.

"Promise kept," I whispered.

Harry managed a grin as he set me down. "Let's keep it that way, yeah?"

I almost smiled back at him as I nodded. "I'll always come back."

He didn't understand just how significant that promise was.

He didn't understand just how many times I'd found myself trapped between Cedric and Harry in my dreams.

The Cedric who wasn't really Cedric would tell me it was alright if I gave up and joined him.

But Harry was always right there, reminding me why I kept making the decision to come back, time and time again.

I slipped my hand into his as Hermione, Ron, and Ginny all hurried in to greet me.

I'll always come back. I promise.