July 1 - 2:03 PM

Hey, Lu, I don't know what time it ends, but I'm here whenever, okay?

July 1 - 11:27 PM

I'm heading to bed, Lu, but if you need anything, I'll keep the book close. I don't know if I'll sleep anyway, but... well, I'm here if you need me. I hope everything's going alright for you.

July 2 - 4:01 AM

I just had the worst nightmare. Please write me soon to let me know you're okay. I know I'm probably just being paranoid, but, well, you were involved in this nightmare. I need to know you're okay.

July 2 - 11:22 AM

I hope you're alright. I'm sorry if I said something wrong. Please just tell me if I did. You've never been angry with me, Lu, and I'd hate to start now...

July 2 - 8:01 PM

I didn't see anything on the Muggle news about an attack. I hope you're okay.

July 3 - 6:52 AM

I'll keep the diary close today. Please write me.

July 4 - 5:47 AM

Please, Lu, just one word. I just need to know you're okay. I'm going to ask if anyone else has heard from you. The solitude is killing me.

July 5 - 8:02 PM

If talking about him is too much, do you want to try good thing bad thing? Just two sentences every day? That would be better than this.

July 6 - 3:58 PM

Should I try sending a letter? Maybe if you see that you'll remember this diary exists? Would that get your attention? Would you remember me then? Or are you remembering me and just not wanting to talk to me? I don't know how to feel, but scared is as close as I can get to describing this sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach. What did I do wrong? Please tell me.

July 7 - 9:23 AM

Nobody else has heard from you, either, even though everyone's apparently tried to send letters. Ron said you must just be grieving to yourself. And that's fine, really it is, if that's what you need, but please just tell me. We don't have to talk about it, we could talk about anything you want. Good things, bad things, stupid things. I just want to talk to you when you're ready to talk to me. Please, Lu, I just want to hear from you, I just need to know you're okay.

July 8 - 7:09 PM

I just sent Hedwig back to the others. Once she returns, I'll send a letter to you. Part of me feels like I should stop writing, I don't want to be a bother, but I just can't bring myself to let a day go by without writing at least a sentence. I don't want you to think I'm not thinking about you, because I am. More and more every day, really. If you want me to stop writing you, just say so, but until then, I'm not giving up on you, Lu. You've never given up on me. I'm right here for you, whenever you're ready.

July 9 - 6:17 PM

I saw a white bird today, like the one we saw at the Black Lake. You never did tell me why it was so special to you, but I thought of you when I saw it. I hope that wasn't a sign something horrible happened to you. I never did pay much attention in Divination. For all I know, it could be. I just don't know anymore. Nothing makes sense. Your silence least of all.

July 10 - 11:59 PM

Am I talking to myself? Or are you reading all of these? I don't know which would hurt less.

July 11 - 10:15 AM

I'm going to write the letter today, so it's ready to go as soon as Hedwig is.

July 11, 1995

Dear Lucy,

It's me. Harry, if you couldn't already tell from the handwriting.

I'm sorry, I know we already have the diaries, I know you're probably not responding to me on purpose, but just in case you forgot or you lost it or something else happened, I wanted to write a letter just so you knew I still cared. I said I'd write, and you did too. What happened?

Please just tell me you're okay. I know you might be mad or hurt or... or I don't know exactly, but I just need to know you're okay even if you hate me. Do you hate me? What did I do? Merlin, I'm so sorry for whatever it was. I just want to talk to you again. I miss you. Why haven't you talked to me?

Ron said you might be grieving on your own, and it's fine if you are, but please just tell me. I miss you. It's so lonely here without you. Ron and Hermione are nice enough in the letters they send me, but they just don't understand. Not like you do.

I should probably stop writing before I ramble too much and become annoying, but I just... I need to know you're okay, Lu. I know how much you're hurting and Merlin, I wish I could be there to help you. I'm still waiting for the Weasleys to come and save me from this hellhole. As soon as they do, I'm rushing to your house. Being apart from you hurts like hell, Lu. Not hearing from you is even worse. Please write me, somehow. I need you. I hope you're okay. I don't know what I'll do if you're not.

Sincerely, Harry Potter

July 12 - 5:23 PM

I just sent Hedwig with a letter to you. I hope you write me back one way or another. I get more worried every day.

July 13 - 2:20 AM

I had another nightmare that something happened to you. Are you okay?

July 14 - 1:04 AM

I can't sleep. I'm so scared of having that nightmare again. It was terrible. I think not hearing from you is really making my imagination go off the rails, but I still can't shake this horrible feeling that there's something going on that's more serious than just not writing.

July 15 - 2:30 AM

"No news is good news" has got to be the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard. I can't believe Hermione really included that in a letter. Good news is good news. No news is better than bad news, I guess, but this silence feels an awful lot like bad news.

July 16 - 7:18 AM

Hedwig just came back, but without a reply. What happened, Lu, what did I do?

July 17 - 10:54 PM

Good thing: Nothing bad happened on the news.

Bad thing: I still can't shake the nightmares. About you, about Cedric, about Voldemort. I dread sleeping every night.

Do you mind if I talk to you like you're actually there? I don't want to sleep yet. Maybe this would keep the nightmares at bay.

Do you remember the Quidditch match where Lockhart screwed us both over? Merlin, I can't even begin to imagine how terrifying that must have been for you, to be blinded so suddenly and without warning. Well, maybe not entirely without warning. You were always suspicious of Lockhart. Second year was terrifying, honestly, now that I think about it. Everyone thinking I was the Heir of Slytherin, all of the petrifications, Hermione's especially. It was horrible. But at least you were there then, every step of the way. That night in the forest with the acromantulas was the night I think you really started to grow more into your Gryffindor side. You've always been brave, but I think that year was really the beginning of you starting to feel comfortable in red and gold. I still remember how you looked on the first train ride with your brother's Hufflepuff scarf around your shoulders. I think you look better in red and gold, personally, but that could just be me being selfishly glad you're in Gryffindor with me. I don't know what we'd have done without you these past four years.

That was all over the place, wasn't it? If you're reading this, you must be thinking I'm... pathetic. Insane. And maybe I am. I just miss you, Lu, so much. I wish I knew what I did so I could make it better.

I should probably sleep now, but I... I think I feel a little better. We'll see.

July 18 - 11:27 PM

Good thing: I didn't have a nightmare last night.

Bad thing: It's so hot in my room even writing takes effort. But I still want to talk to you like you're actually there, since it helped last night.

Is it hot in Ottery St. Catchpole, too? Are you maybe writing a letter to me right now? Or are you asleep, like I should be? Never mind, you're probably not asleep. You should really get more sleep than you do, Lu. Sleep is good for you, you know. It is funny when you fall asleep in the common room, though. I still remember Fred and George turning your hair red our first Christmas at Hogwarts, that was great. And when you fell asleep in DADA that one time. You hid it so well I didn't realize you were asleep until you whispered something and I looked over to see your eyes were closed. Do you always whisper in your sleep? I'll have to ask Hermione sometime, she'd know the answer, I bet.

I know, I'm one to talk about sleep. I'm writing this at 11:35 at night, after all. But... you should still get more sleep than you do. You look so tired sometimes. So if you happen to be reading this right now, sleep, will you? I'll go to sleep now, too. Oh, and look at the stars if you think of it. I'll do the same.

I miss you.

July 19 - 10:05 PM

Good thing: It's not 11:30 when I'm writing this.

Bad thing: I've been falling asleep all day and it got me in trouble.

How do you manage to stay awake on those days every couple weeks where you look so tired? Do you have a secret superpower? I don't think I've ever seen you drink coffee. Do you put something in your pumpkin juice? Do the twins have a Stay-Awake Cupcake?

I know, I know, I'm being stupid. I just... I'm just trying not to think about the emptiness in my chest right now. I don't know what to do without you anymore. I know you don't need me at this point, but I need you. Please just let me know you're okay. Please. I understand if trying to send a letter to the others is too much effort or something, but me? Please. I don't care if it's just a simple "I'm alright," I just need something. Please, Lu, I'm losing my mind without you.

July 20 - 9:32 PM

I thought I was taking care of you that last week of school, but you were taking care of me too. I felt like I was helping. I felt like I was doing something to make it better, however small it was. It helped me feel a little less alone in my own emotions. Now I'm just talking to myself hoping you're fine but never knowing for sure. I need you, Lu, don't you see? I thought maybe you needed me too, and maybe you don't, but I... the loneliness is killing me. Nobody understands the way you do.

July 21 - 11:47 PM

Are you looking at the stars, too? They're pretty tonight.

July 22 - 2:01 PM

Good thing: I got letters from Ron and Hermione.

Bad thing: They don't tell me anything of value. They're so vague.

Why does nobody want to talk to me, really talk to me? What did I do, Lu? Do you know?

Even when our little group of four has argued in the past, the two of us have always been on good terms. I can't remember a time any of us were mad at you, really, except for Hermione a time or two. You're just so easy to get along with. The closest example I can think of would be when we thought Hagrid might have been the one to open the Chamber of Secrets, but in the end, you were right, and even then, we were never mad. At least, I wasn't. I've never been mad at you. I don't think you've ever been mad at me. Before now, anyway.

Merlin, I miss you. I'm sorry. Please come back.

July 23 - 11:45 PM

Do you remember how we watched the stars together two months ago today? I'm sitting here tonight looking at the stars just thinking about you. How did everything go so horribly wrong in those two months, Lu? What happened? What did we do to deserve any of this?

Remember how we wanted to stop time? Be forever in that moment?

Yeah... me too.

July 24 - 8:31 PM

Good thing: I found a new place to hide from my aunt and uncle.

Bad thing: This heat wave is horrible.

July 25 - 11:02 PM

Good thing: They haven't found me yet.

Bad thing: I still haven't heard anything about you. No one's heard from you. At all.

HARRY:

It was shortly after sunset on July 26 when my scar exploded with pain.

I was in my room when it happened, about to send my daily note to Lucy that never got a reply, when searing pain brought me to my knees. It subsided ever so slightly, leaving me feeling sick to my stomach with tears stinging my eyes. I pushed myself to my feet and rushed to the bathroom, but before I could be sick, the pain returned a second time. This time, it was even worse, and a loud shout escaped me.

I heard motion downstairs, but I couldn't bring myself to care. I pressed my hands to the scar, then dropped my hands when I heard footsteps pounding up the stairs. I leaned forward and hissed in pain, praying they'd just leave me alone.

"Sick?" Aunt Petunia called through the closed door.

"Yeah," I managed through gritted teeth.

"Want some water?"

I blinked. Was she offering to help me? Had the pain killed me? Was I not on Earth anymore? "I-I'm alright," I said. "But thanks."

I heard the click of her heels leaving, and she called something down to Uncle Vernon about how I was fine. I leaned back and rested my head against the bathroom cabinet, trying to control my breathing. But still my stomach churned.

Something horrible had happened. I just knew it.

I closed my eyes and waited for the pain to pass. It did after a couple of minutes, but my heart continued to race. I eventually returned to my room, rubbing the back of my neck and walking slowly.

As soon as I entered my room, I heard a harsh laugh. I jumped three feet in the air.

It had sounded like it was right behind me. Maybe even closer. Like it was me. But it wasn't me. It wasn't my laugh.

Not that I had really laughed in more than a month anyway.

Thoroughly unnerved, I returned to the diary, left open on my bed. Suddenly, the pages filled with my handwriting and not hers seemed to mock me. As if the laugh and the silence of Lucy were related.

I lunged for my quill and scribbled yet another note. But this one was nearly illegible between how quickly I was writing and how badly my hands were shaking.

My scar just hurt. A lot. I don't know why. But I'm scared, I'm so scared. Please write me, Lu, I know it sounds crazy but I can't help but feel like you were involved and I can't explain why I feel that way but I do and it's just a gut feeling and I hope to Merlin it's wrong but I just don't know anything anymore. Please just write me, I've never felt like this before in my life. I need to know. I need to know you're okay. Please.

I stared at the page until my eyes grew unfocused.

Something was wrong.

Something had felt wrong all month. I had tried to brush it away. Ron and Hermione, too. Everyone tried to say she was alright, because none of us could handle the possibility that she wasn't.

But that night, her silence was deafening.

Why has the music stopped?
Where did all the happy people go?
I know they were there, songs everywhere
Only a moment ago
I only blinked my eye
And now the world that I used to know is changing on me
Why can't it be
Only a moment ago?

"Only a Moment Ago"
The Partridge Family