Slowly, then all at once
A single loose thread
And it all comes undone

"Sorrow"
Sleeping At Last

LUCY:

I couldn't breathe.

I found myself on the edge of the Black Lake, the same place I had screamed at the sky Saturday night. This time, though, the sun was shining.

How could the sun show its face after the world had ended?

I crumpled to my knees.

The fact that there would be another funeral on July 1 was inconsequential. The first part of letting go had already passed.

I couldn't breathe.

When I lifted my hands to my throat in an attempt to claw away grief's chokehold, I found myself not wanting to fight it. So instead, I buried my head in my hands and coughed, a weak protest against my own insignificance.

Who was I to think anything I could say would be good enough to memorialize my brother?

I felt a tear course down my cheek, the only outward indicator of the torrential rainstorm brewing inside. I watched as this tear dripped onto my robes, and as the robes absorbed the drop, leaving only a darkened patch in its wake.

The fact that I could hear Harry's voice calling my name in the distance was inconsequential. The second part of letting go was still in front of me.

I couldn't breathe.

This is not black and white
There are no clear solutions
I'm just trying to get it right
And in spite of all I should've done
If I cannot break your fall
I'll pick you up right off the ground
If you felt invisible, I won't let you feel that now

"Invisible"
Linkin Park

HARRY:

I skidded to a stop and knelt beside Lucy. She didn't seem to have heard my shouts, didn't seem to know I was there, so I said her name again, this time much more quietly.

"Lucy."

She rubbed a hand against the side of her neck, breathing heavily. But she had gotten to the Black Lake much sooner than I had, so I knew it wasn't from running. She was breaking down.

What do I do?

What would Cedric do?

I reached forward and tucked a lock of hair away from her face. She always, always, always had it braided. Maybe she felt suffocated by having it down and in her way-

Suffocated. She felt suffocated.

I removed her hand from her neck and held it loosely in my own.

"Don't do that, Lu," I said softly. "Let yourself breathe."

I received a tiny response. She squeezed my hand ever so slightly.

I nodded encouragingly. This felt closer to the right thing to do. "Squeeze harder if you need to. Just breathe."

I looked over her shoulder to make sure nobody had followed me. As far as I could see, we were alone.

"Do you want me to go get somebody else?" I asked quietly. "Mione, Ginny, the twins?"

Lucy shook her head. "Y-You. I want... you."

I rubbed my thumb up and down against her hand, which seemed so cold compared to mine. Though it was the end of June, a chill breeze whispered around us. The sun was shining, but it didn't seem to offer any warmth.

"Are you cold?"

She blinked hard, as if I had asked a difficult question. Then she managed to choke out, "I can't... feel my hands."

I immediately reached for her other hand. Surely enough, it was freezing, too. I brought her hands to my chest, which would be warmer than my hands. An idea occurred to me, so I focused on taking deeper breaths.

"Breathe with me," I said. "Or as best as you can, anyway."

She nodded, closing her eyes and trying to match me. After five minutes, she was calmer. After ten, her eyes shot open, and she looked up to the sky.

A white bird was circling overhead, crying out occasionally.

"I didn't notice it was there earlier," she whispered. She took another deep breath in sync with me, her hands still trembling as she pulled them away and into her own lap. Her eyes remained fixed on the bird.

I shifted so I was sitting next to her again and rested my elbows on my knees. We watched the bird circle over the lake, still breathing in sync with each other, though I wasn't quite sure who was following who. After a few more circles, it dove down suddenly, fully submerging itself in the lake.

Before I could wonder aloud why on earth the bird had done that, it emerged from the lake again. Then it looked in our direction for half a second before flying away over the hills.

When it did not appear again, she tucked her knees to her chest and turned to me. "Thanks, Harry."

I nodded. "'Course. Are you feeling better?"

"I..." Her eyes welled with tears.

I kicked myself mentally. "I'm sorry, that's such a stupid question to ask-"

"No, stop, it's not." A tear escaped and coursed down her cheek, and she wiped it away hurriedly. "I always feel better when you're around."

That made me feel a bit better. I had been so scared that she'd hate me, that she'd push me away, that she'd never want anything to do with me ever again. But there she was, looking me in the eye. A bit of color was returning to her cheeks, and her breathing was more regular, though she was still shaking.

I really should have asked a more intelligent question, but when I saw her shiver, instinct took over before I could think better of it. "Are you cold?" I asked again.

"I don't know." She shivered a second time. "Maybe."

Before I could make a comment about how people who shiver are typically considered cold, she inched closer to me and rested her head against my shoulder. I automatically wrapped an arm around her to protect her from the cold, the wind, whatever came next. We were silent for quite a while before she spoke again.

"Hermione keeps wanting me to talk about it," she said in a voice barely above a whisper. "'How are you feeling, Lucy?' 'What are you thinking, Lucy?'" She burrowed her head against me, shivering again. "I never know what to say, Harry."

"You did well earlier," I replied. "Everyone was really proud of you. Did you really not have any of that planned?"

"Really, I didn't," she admitted. She pulled the folded parchment out of her pocket and started to read it out loud. "'I can't believe I have to write this, but here I am. It's not fair. It hurts. Cedric was there for me after every dark night, there for me through every difficult season, but it's because he's not here that I'm in the darkest season of all...'" Lucy's voice trailed off, and she shoved it back in her pocket. "The rest of it is just about how great of a brother and friend he was to me. I might still be able to use parts of it on Saturday, if my parents want me to... to say something." She heaved a shuddering sigh. "I can't believe he's..."

Unable to finish her sentence, she buried her head against my chest and began to cry. After a couple of minutes, I rubbed her arm the same way that had helped on Sunday morning, but this time, she only cried harder.

I froze.

I'm making it worse.

Cedric would be so much better for her right now.

"I'm not helping, am I?"

"No, you are," she choked out. "I'm sorry. Please don't leave me."

I softened again. Tears pricked at the back of my eyes.

I pulled her closer to me. "Where else would I be?"

And for once, my inner voice had no rebuke. No more doubts dared to creep in.

I had a promise to keep, to Cedric. I had a promise to keep to myself, too.

Where else would I be?