What is this hollow kind of helplessness I'm feeling?
This type of terror is new
And the fact that I can hardly breathe is now revealing
How much I've changed 'cause of you
You light the world for me
You live life fearlessly
Braver than the bravest of us do
You trust, you hope, you dare
You choose to feel and care
I thought that I was strong 'til I bumped into you
What do I know about love?

HARRY:

Though the night was not as peaceful as Dumbledore surely hoped it would be, the morning still dawned. Upon leaving the Hospital Wing, I talked to Mr. and Mrs. Diggory about what had happened and tried to give them the tournament winnings, but they refused. As soon as our meeting was over, I hurried up to the Gryffindor common room.

I needed to see Lucy. I needed to know she was okay.

I needed to keep my promise to Cedric.

When I made my way up to the common room, I scanned the room for Lucy, but she wasn't there. Ron and Ginny were speaking in low tones in the corner of the room, and Hermione was leaning against the wall next to the door leading to the girls' dormitories with her arms crossed over her chest. I felt like I didn't need to explain myself, so I headed toward the door, but before I could reach for the handle, she stepped in front of it, blocking my way.

"Hermione, let me go up," I said, trying to step around her.

"She said she wanted to sleep."

"Then I'll just let her know that I'm there and I'm alright and I've talked to her parents, then let her sleep. I need to see her, now."

"She can come down once she's awake. Honestly, Harry, she's fine, Ginny was with her all night, and I checked on her this morning once you left the Hospital Wing."

"She is not fine," Ginny said fiercely, coming to stand behind me. "Just because she's not ready to cry yet doesn't mean she's fine. Hermione, let him up."

"But it's the girls' dormitories! She can come down when she's ready." She successfully stopped another one of my attempts to get around her. "Besides, the stairs are enchanted, Harry. The only way you'll be able to get up is if a girl is standing on the stairs so you don't come sliding back down."

"So stand on the stairs, Hermione," I said. "Or Ginny, I don't care. I don't care that it's the girls' dormitories. If that's where she wants to be right now, I'll be there, too."

She still looked loath to break the rules. "I suppose I can go get her-"

I took a step closer, feeling a defensive surge of anger rising in me. "Cedric asked me to take care of her. I promised him I would. And I intend to keep that promise."

Ginny, taking advantage of her temporary shock at what I had said, ducked around her, opened the door, and planted herself on the staircase.

"Go, Harry," she said, holding the door open. "We'll leave you two alone for a while. We could all use some sleep, too."

I nodded as I started up the stairs. "Thanks, Ginny."

"Harry?" Hermione called just as I reached the door of the fourth-year dormitory.

I whirled around, irritated. "Yes?"

"If she's asleep... she's a deep sleeper. A very deep sleeper. Waking her might take a while, especially since she was awake all night."

My irritation faded to nothingness. How had I not known that about Lucy, the girl I considered my best friend?

The one I almost rescued by mistake in February, before I realized Ron couldn't possibly be Cedric's hostage?

The one I had to try to rescue now, not from the depths of the Black Lake but from the depths of her own grief?

I nodded. "Thanks."

Hermione nodded back, sighing shakily, and I stepped into the dormitory.

Lucy was curled in a ball on her side, but she wasn't asleep. She didn't look over when the door creaked open, instead staring at the wall. I crossed the room and stood in her line of vision.

"Hey, Lu," I said softly.

She blinked up at me with a storm raging in her eyes, but no evidence that she'd been crying. "Hey," she replied. She sat up and tucked her hair behind her ears. It was the first time other than the Yule Ball her hair hadn't been braided, as far as I could remember. She studied me for a second, but I glanced away from the intensity of her gaze and played with the edges of her top blanket.

"I met with your parents."

To my surprise, she managed a weak laugh. "I'm sorry."

I smiled the slightest bit. "Your dad was nicer this time than last."

"That's good."

Silence fell again, and Lucy's eyes still didn't leave my face. After a minute, she slid to the right and gestured for me to sit with her.

"You look as tired as I feel. Come on."

I obliged, kicking off my shoes and sliding under the covers with her, leaning back against her headboard. Our hands found each other, this time her left and my right.

"How are you?" I asked.

She tensed slightly. "To be honest, I haven't the slightest clue. All I know is I'm glad you're here."

"Where else would I be?"

"I don't know." She paused. "Hermione said she wouldn't let anyone up, but I'm glad she let you up."

"Well, I made sure she did. Ginny, too."

"You're the only person I want to see right now, Harry." Her voice cracked on my name. She swallowed and tried again. "I-I mean... I guess if anyone understands, it'd be you, right?"

Before I could reply, Lucy was finally crying. She laid her head against my chest and sobbed.

I held her close to me, closer than I'd ever held anybody. I wrapped my arms around her as tightly as I could without hurting her, as if that alone would be enough to protect her from the living hell that had become her reality overnight. As if that alone would be enough to protect us both from the catastrophic storm brewing on the horizon. I held her close to me as she cried, knowing I would do anything if it meant I could bring Cedric back to her.

I couldn't recall ever seeing Lucy cry. It would have broken my heart any day, whatever the reason, but the way she cried that day, the way her whole body trembled, was something that would haunt me forever.

At one point, I recalled the way Cedric had comforted her after the second task, running his hand up and down her arm. I started to do the same, slowly, gently, and her sobs grew weaker and weaker. Once she was calm enough to hear me, I pulled her closer and whispered that she could sleep because I'd be there whenever she woke up.

She nodded, still trembling, tears still coursing down her flushed cheeks, but in time, her eyes fluttered shut, and she relaxed into my arms. A couple minutes later, she was asleep.

I fell asleep at some point, too. It was late in the afternoon when the door creaked open, frightening me awake.

"Oh. I-I'm sorry, I didn't realize you were both asleep," she stammered, gnawing on her bottom lip. "Lucy's parents are waiting outside the common room. They need to talk to her before they head back home to... to make arrangements."

I nodded slowly. Hermione took a couple steps closer.

"Merlin, I hate to wake her up, she needs the sleep..."

I nodded again, glancing down at the girl sleeping in my arms. One hand was loosely curled around a fold in my robe, and the other was tucked between her head and my chest. Even though I had definitely jolted awake when Hermione opened the door and my heart was still racing from the initial fright, she was somehow still asleep, her cheeks and nose still red but the tear tracks on her cheeks mostly dried.

"They're leaving soon?" I asked in a whisper, wanting to let her sleep as long as possible. Something told me sleep would be hard to come by for her in the coming days, weeks, maybe even months.

Hermione nodded.

I sighed, reluctantly shifting on the bed and rubbing Lucy's arm a bit.

"Lu, I'm sorry, but you need to wake up," I said softly.

"You're going to have to try a lot harder than that," Hermione commented with a soft laugh. "I've had to dump water on her before."

"Well, I'm not going to do that." I shook her a bit more aggressively. "Come on, Lu, you have to wake up. I'm sorry, I'd rather just let you sleep, but you need to wake up. Your parents are waiting for you, so you need to wake up."

After nearly two minutes of talking louder and louder bit by bit, her eyes opened.

"Sorry, Lucy," Hermione said. "Your parents need to talk to you before they go home."

Lucy nodded sleepily, rubbing her eyes with the back of her hand. She noticed me with a somewhat startled look, then blinked a couple of times.

"You stayed?" she asked.

"Where else would I be?" I replied for a second time that day.

Lucy ran her fingers through her hair then got up and headed down the stairs, leaving Hermione and I alone in the dormitory for a moment.

"I think she needed to cry," she remarked quietly. "I'm glad you were there for her."

I nodded, rubbing the back of my neck. "Well. Least I could do."

"You... you said something about Cedric?" she asked after a moment.

I nodded again. "I'm not ready to talk about it a third time in 24 hours. Twice was more than enough."

I made my way back down to the common room then, Hermione behind me. We sat with the Weasleys, waiting for Lucy.

Neville came over after a couple minutes, looking as if he'd been crying too. "How is she?" he asked tentatively.

I shook my head slowly in response. "She said she doesn't know."

"Oh. Oh, okay." Neville looked around sheepishly. "Do you mind if I sit with you?"

Ron moved over to make room. "Not at all. Go ahead, mate."

I turned to the twins. "Where did you go last night, once I showed up with Dumbledore?"

"He asked us to check all of the secret entrances to the castle," Fred replied. "He knows we know about them. We didn't want to tell Lucy, of course, because it would have frightened her even more, but we didn't find anything anyway."

"How did she know the dog?" George asked. "The dog sure seemed to know her."

"Er... must have been a stray from the Magical Creatures Reserve," I lied. It was nice to know Sirius had been there to comfort her before I had gotten there. I had seen him, of course, but in my stupor, I hadn't thought much of it. "You know how she is with creatures."

Neville nodded enthusiastically. "Remember that lesson with the nifflers? Especially the baby niffler?"

I nodded too, knowing well the way creatures always gravitated toward her. The way everyone always gravitated toward her.

A couple minutes later, the portrait hole opened, and Lucy climbed back through. I automatically shifted so she could sit between Hermione and me, which she did.

Nobody spoke, everyone's eyes on Lucy. Studying her. Trying to read her mind. She couldn't bring herself to look up, instead tracing a scorch mark on the floor with her finger.

When she did speak, her voice shook, but she didn't start crying again. "There will be a small funeral here on Tuesday for anyone from the three schools who wants to go. Then another one on Saturday at home for family and friends." She heaved a shaky sigh. "I need to write something for Tuesday, but I... I don't know..."

Her finger froze mid-circle.

"I don't want to start writing tonight," she said. "I'll take tomorrow to work. I just... it's just..."

"Not fair," Ron finished for her.

She nodded. "Yeah. That." Lucy glanced up at the window, stiffening when she saw the position of the sun in the sky. "I'm going back to bed, but I... I'll see you all in the morning."

"Lucy, you haven't eaten today," Hermione said worriedly. "Don't you want to-"

"N-No," she interrupted, pushing herself to her feet. "I'm the furthest thing from hungry."

"I can bring you something if you don't want to come down to the Great Hall," Ginny offered.

"N-No, it's okay. Thanks, though. I-I'll eat in the morning."

Lucy met my gaze for a second before looking back down.

"See you all tomorrow."

We all watched her go, wanting to follow but knowing better. We eventually made our way down to dinner, the Great Hall quieter than it had ever been. I felt dozens of stares. Everyone wanted to know what had happened.

I tried to ignore them, but as soon as I had finished eating, I couldn't take it anymore. I jumped up and stalked from the hall with only a short explanation to Ron and Hermione. I went straight to my own dormitory, resisting the temptation to go up and be with Lucy again.

Alone with my thoughts for the first time in a very long time, doubt began to creep into my mind.

Lucy might have wanted me in the initial shock since I had been the only one there, but would she feel the same way once she realized it was my fault?

If I hadn't insisted we take the Cup tighter... if we had taken the Portkey back sooner... if I'd taken the Killing Curse instead... maybe Lucy would still be alright...

I realized with a jolt that I couldn't go back in time and save the day. No matter how much I regretted it, the past was the past. I couldn't change it.

But I could change the future. I swore to myself in that moment that every moment for as long as I lived, I wouldn't let anything ever come close to hurting Lucy way ever again. I'd protect her with my life if need be.

As long as I was around, she'd never ever cry like that again.

Perhaps Cedric understood better than I did that I would do that for her. Perhaps that was the reason for his final request.

My promise was one I intended to keep.

What do I know about love?

Everything I thought I did
You've gone and changed it, kid
You're what I know about love

"Kristoff Lullaby"
Jelani Alladin