I woke up in a cold sweat but I found you
And I wade through my worries, they're crippling
For crying out loud we'll wait
Cause you've been talking in your sleep again
Around all the dreams you have
We're seeing shadows on the water
Oh the air's so honest
We're seeing shadows on the water
But we made a promise
To let the rest of our lives decide

"Shadows"
CHPTRS

LUCY:

The nightmare returned a fourth time.

I jolted awake, immediately throwing my blankets off and drawing a deep breath of the sweet air of the dormitory. Hints of smoke, cinnamon, lavender, rose all rushed to fill the lungs that mere seconds ago were filling with the waters of my nightmare.

I glanced at the clock. 6:24.

I realized with a second jolt that it was May 24, meaning Cedric and Harry would be finding out what the third task would be sometime before we all went back to bed.

That unsettling thought propelled me out of bed. There was no way I was falling back asleep after that.

I heard Hermione turn the water of her shower off with a squeak, so I rushed to change into my robes so I could make it to the common room before she entered the dormitory again. Thankfully, it was empty, so I hurried to my favorite spot at the window seat and rested my head against the window. I closed my eyes and shivered, residual fear reminding me of the nightmare once again.

"Lu? What're you doing up?"

I opened my eyes just as Harry slid into the window seat across from me. "I could ask you the same question."

He shrugged. "Nervous about today, I guess. You?"

"I..." I looked away, out the window. Did I dare to be honest? Yes. "I've been having a recurring nightmare since the second task. I guess worrying about the third task on top of that just made it seem worse than usual."

"Yeah, I know how nightmares can be," he said. "Trust me."

I nodded, turning back to face him. "If anyone would, it'd be you."

He reached forward and poked my forehead with a small smile. "No headache, right? No searing pain, no flashes of green?"

"No, none of that," I said, chuckling quietly. "Just your typical, ordinary, meaningless nightmare."

"Doesn't mean it's not still frightening."

"It is that," I remarked. I looked back out of the window, and my hands subconsciously started to fiddle with the bear charm on my bracelet. "I... in the nightmare, I'm at the bottom of the Black Lake. Alone, without Ron or Hermione or Gabrielle or merpeople. And somehow, I know that Cedric's not coming to save me. Which is ridiculous, of course," I added quickly, glancing at Harry before looking down at my hands. "I know he'd never abandon me or anything like that. But something about this nightmare just... unnerves me. No matter how many times it repeats."

"You know, Lu," Harry said after a moment, "if something had gone wrong and Cedric hadn't shown up, I would have still taken you up."

"But I wasn't your captive. Or 'treasure,' as they called it," I said with air quotes for sarcastic emphasis, looking up at him.

"Lu, I was about to start cutting you loose when Cedric got there. Trust me, I would never have left you down there even if you weren't deathly afraid of water."

I couldn't help but smile. "That makes me feel a little better."

"I'm glad. Even if Cedric isn't around to save the day, I will be."

"I wish I could do the same for you in these stupid tasks," I muttered. "I hated just watching the first task, and the second one was even worse for a number of reasons." I shivered again, and not from cold. "Let's hope the third one is nice and easy, yeah?"

"Your optimism never ceases to amaze me," he said with a sigh, making me laugh.

I waited up with Ron and Hermione while Harry was gone. We expected he'd be back within the hour, but when an hour and a half had gone by without any sign of him, I considered running up to his dormitory, grabbing the Invisibility Cloak, and going to find him. Just before I did, though, he climbed through the portrait hole, calling "Bye, Hagrid!" over his shoulder.

"Where have you been?" Hermione inquired somewhat accusingly as he hurried over to where the three of us were sitting.

"Are you alright?" I asked more gently, noticing how pale he looked. I shifted on the couch and gestured for him to sit next to me, which he did.

Ron studied Harry with a concerned look. "What's the third task, mate?"

That was a question he could answer. "A maze. They've turned the Quidditch Pitch into a maze."

"They what?"

Harry managed a tiny smile as he turned to look at me. "Yeah, Cedric and I were both upset about it too." A shadow crossed his face, and he dropped his head into his hands. "So after they showed us that, Viktor wanted to talk to me."

Ron and Hermione both stiffened, so I was left to prod him. "What did he have to say?"

"Well, he wanted to make sure Hermione and I were just friends, which of course I assured him we were. But then while we were talking, we saw Mr. Crouch-"

"Mr. Crouch?" Hermione interrupted. "Here, on the grounds?"

"No, Hermione, Viktor took Harry for a nice walk through Diagon Alley," Ron retorted with a roll of his eyes.

Hermione rolled her eyes in response and looked back at Harry. "What did he say?"

Harry shook his head. "He wasn't in his right mind. Talking to a tree like it was Percy, saying he needed to see Dumbledore, something about You-Know-Who getting stronger... I left Viktor to keep an eye on him while I went to get Dumbledore. Snape got in my way, and by the time Dumbledore and I got there, Viktor had been stunned and Mr. Crouch was gone. Professor Moody is out looking for him now, and Dumbledore said to stay here until morning, I can't even send an owl to Sirius."

A stunned silence descended upon the four of us.

"Is Viktor alright?" I asked after a moment. Hermione looked relieved that she didn't have to be the one who asked.

"Yeah, Dumbledore brought him back around. Just a stunning spell."

"And you?"

He shrugged, lifting his head and settling back against the couch. "'M fine, I guess."

We stayed up late into the night talking, and we awoke at dawn the next day to send Harry's letter to Sirius.

"Just go through it again, Harry. What did Mr. Crouch actually say?" Hermione asked as we watched the school owl fly off into the early morning light.

"He wasn't making much sense. He said he wanted to warn Dumbledore about something. He definitely mentioned Bertha Jorkins, and he seemed to think she was dead. He kept saying stuff was his fault. He mentioned his son."

"Well, that was his fault," Hermione muttered.

"He was out of his mind. Half the time he seemed to think his wife and son were still alive, and he kept talking to Percy about work and giving him instructions."

"And... remind me what he said about You-Know-Who?" Ron asked.

"He said he's getting stronger."

Ron looked at me for half a second before turning back to Harry. "But he was out of his mind, like you said, so half of it was probably just raving... right?"

"He was sanest when he was trying to talk about Voldemort. He was having real trouble stringing two words together, but that was when he seemed to know where he was, and know what he wanted to do. He just kept saying he had to see Dumbledore."

Nobody said anything for a moment, so I walked to the window and rested my elbows against the ledge.

Cedric had confirmed that Mum was part of the team that captured Barty Crouch Jr., along with Bellatrix, Rodolphus, and Rabastan Lestrange. I hadn't said anything to Neville about it, but I did have to wonder if he knew and that was why he was always so nice to me. But that knowledge also left me wondering how many enemies I might have as a result of my last name. Barty Crouch Jr. may have died in Azkaban, but I wasn't sure about the other three. I was quite frankly too afraid to ask.

I turned back to the group when Harry let out a frustrated sigh. "If Snape hadn't held me up, we might've got there in time. 'The headmaster is busy, Potter, what's this rubbish, Potter?' Why couldn't he have just gotten out of the way?"

Ron blinked. "Maybe he didn't want you to get there! Maybe --- hang on --- how fast d'you reckon he could've gotten down to the forest? D'you reckon he could've beaten you and Dumbledore there?"

"Not unless he can turn himself into a bat or something."

"Wouldn't put it past him..."

"We need to see Professor Moody and need to find out whether he found Mr. Crouch," Hermione said.

"If he had the Marauder's Map on him, it would've been easy," Harry replied with half of a shrug.

"Unless Crouch was already outside the grounds, because it only shows up to the boundaries, doesn't-"

Ron was interrupted by a sharp "Shh!" from Hermione. The twins were heading up to the Owlery, arguing about Ludo Bagman.

"That's blackmail, that is, we could get into a lot of trouble for that!"

"We've tried being polite; it's time to play dirty, like him. He wouldn't like the Ministry of Magic knowing what he did-"

"I'm telling you, if you put that in writing, it's blackmail!"

"Yeah, and you won't be complaining if we get a nice fat payoff, will you?"

The door opened, and they froze at the sight of the four of us.

"What're you doing here?" Ron and Fred asked in unison.

George and Harry replied, also in unison, "Sending a letter."

"What, at this time?" Hermione and Fred asked.

For the first time in 24 hours, I burst out laughing, everyone else following suit.

"Fine, we won't ask you what you're doing, if you don't ask us," Fred said, covering the name on the envelope with his hand.

"Who're you blackmailing?" Ron asked.

Fred instantly grew serious. "Don't be stupid, I was only joking."

"Didn't sound like that."

"I've told you before, Ron, keep your nose out if you like it the shape it is. Can't see why you would, but-"

"It's my business if you're blackmailing someone. George's right, you could end up in serious trouble for that."

George shook his head as he went to tie the letter to an owl's leg. "Told you, we were joking. You're starting to sound a bit like our dear older brother, you are, Ron. Carry on like this and you'll be made a prefect."

"No, I won't!"

"Boys," I interjected, speaking for the first time that day. "Be nice. Ron, have some faith in me. I wouldn't let them blackmail anyone."

"Yeah, Ron, she's our common sense filter," Fred said. He tugged on one of my braids and joined George in nudging the owl out the window. "See what happens when you're not around, Cub? I get the worst sort of ideas."

I rolled my eyes. "You get the ideas anyway, Freddie, they just don't get very far when I'm not there to shut you up." I grinned at George. "At least you have a little more common sense."

"That's a dangerous thing to say, you know," he remarked as he backed toward the Owlery door, grinning cheekily. "I'm going to want to prove you wrong now."

"George Weasley-" I started to say exasperatedly, but he and Fred disappeared before I could finish my threat. I shook my head. "Those boys will be the death of me."

Hermione seemed less than amused when she looked at me. "You don't think they know something about all this, do you? About Crouch and everything?"

I raised my eyebrows incredulously, my mouth falling open. "Are you kidding? No!"

"If it was something that serious, they'd tell someone. They'd tell Dumbledore," Harry added.

Ron shifted his weight. "I dunno if they would. They're... they're obsessed with making money lately."

"Yeah, but blackmail?" Harry pressed.

Ron refused to look at us. "It's this joke shop idea they've got. I thought they were only saying it to annoy Mum, but they really mean it, they want to start one. They've only got a year left at Hogwarts, they keep going on about how it's time to think about their future, and Dad can't help them, and they need gold to get started."

"Yes, but they wouldn't do anything against the law to get gold, right?" Hermione said.

"Wouldn't they? I dunno... they don't exactly mind breaking rules, do they?"

"Yes, but this is the law. This isn't some silly school rule. They'll get a lot more than detention for blackmail! Ron, maybe you'd better tell Percy-"

"Are you mad? Tell Percy? He'd probably do a Crouch and turn them in!"

"Let's go get breakfast," I interrupted. "Maybe we'll have time to go see Professor Moody before History of Magic if we eat quickly enough."

"Sounds like a good idea," Harry agreed quickly, also uncomfortable with the tension in the room. The bell ended up ringing before we could head to Professor Moody's office, but we were able to find him after class.

"Come in here," he said when he saw us, gesturing for us to follow him into his classroom.

The door had only just been closed when Harry asked, "Did you find him? Mr. Crouch?"

Professor Moody collapsed into the chair behind his desk. "No."

"Did you use the map?"

Professor Moody took a drink from his hip flask. I expected my nose to be hit with the tingle of firewhisky, but a different smell hit my nose instead. It felt oddly familiar, but I couldn't quite place it. Before I could wonder further what was in that flask, he answered.

"Of course. Took a leaf out of your book, Potter. Summoned it from my office into the forest. He wasn't anywhere on there."

"So he did disapparate?" Ron asked.

Hermione shook her head. "You can't disapparate on the grounds, Ron! There are other ways he could have disappeared, aren't there, Professor?"

Rather than answering, Professor Moody appraised her with his magical eye. "You're another one who might think about a career as an Auror. Mind works the right way, Granger." He glanced at me and gave me the same up-and-down look --- but his eyes lingered on my midsection, right where I knew my bite mark was. I crossed my arms over my abdomen protectively, but I knew it was too late. I prayed that what Neville said was just a rumor, but something in Professor Moody's human eye made my stomach flip. He knew. "What're your thoughts on it all, Diggory? Put the brains your mother gave you to some good use."

My heart jumped into my throat. "The map shows invisible people... m-meaning he either left the grounds, or..."

Professor Moody's eyes narrowed. "Or what, Diggory?"

I shook my head. "N-Never mind. That can't be right. Or at least... I don't want it to be."

"Blimey, Lucy, you don't think Krum killed him, do you?" Ron asked.

"No, no, not Krum, I just..." I bounced on the balls of my feet nervously. "That's the only other explanation I can think of that would explain why he would disappear from the map." I glanced at Harry, who was looking at me with an expression I had never seen on his face before. "Do you know if the map shows... you know...?"

"I have no idea," he replied after a moment. He turned to Professor Moody. "Did you see anyone on the map nearby who might have been capable of it?"

Professor Moody shook his head. "We can't rule out kidnap, either."

Ron blinked. "So d'you reckon he's somewhere in Hogsmeade?"

"Could be anywhere. Only thing we know for sure is that he's not here." Professor Moody paused and dragged his hand down his face. "Now, Dumbledore's told me you four fancy yourselves as investigators, but there's nothing you can do for Crouch. The Ministry'll be looking for him now, Dumbledore's notified them. Potter, you just keep your mind on the third task. Should be right up your street, this one. From what Dumbledore's said, you've managed to get through stuff like this plenty of times. Broke your way through a series of obstacles guarding the Philosopher's Stone in your first year, didn't you?"

"We helped. Me and Hermione and Lucy helped," Ron said.

A rare smile made its way to Professor Moody's face. "Well, help him practice for this one, and I'll be very surprised if he doesn't win. In the meantime, constant vigilance, Potter. Constant vigilance." He paused and took another sip from his flask before speaking again. "You three, you stick close to Potter, all right? I'm keeping an eye on things, but all the same, you can never have too many eyes out."

I took a step closer to Harry and bumped him with my elbow, not lowering my hands from my waist but trying to offer a smile. "Good luck getting rid of us now."

The three weeks between that morning and the full moon were among the busiest of my life.

All of my classes were spent preparing for final exams. Harry didn't have to take any, being a champion, but they loomed over Ron and Hermione and myself. We started by helping Harry train in pairs so the third person could study --- eventually, Ron got tired of studying and decided he wanted to help full-time, and I had the most experience with defensive spells thanks to Fred and George, not to mention the fact that keeping Harry alive was far more important to me than any exam grade, so Ron and I became his most constant helpers with Hermione joining us for at least a couple of hours every day before retiring to study.

While I did a bit of studying by night, I devoted a lot of late hours to reading and taking notes on A Guide to Making Memories Last. Cedric was right in saying it wasn't necessarily intended for any obliviated memories, but I found that I wasn't terribly bothered by that fact. Three nights before the full moon, I successfully extracted my first memory; it was of my birthday in bits and pieces, from Ron and Hermione giving me their gift at midnight to Cedric giving me the book at lunch to my night with Harry in the hills. It was surprisingly taxing to extract memories --- I was too depleted to try it again before the full moon --- but it was exhilarating, too, knowing I'd never forget whatever I chose to remember.

Trying to come up with an excuse for not being with Harry on the full moon was... difficult. Hermione wanted me to just tell Harry and Ron; we were both tired of having to come up with excuses. We argued for quite a while about it, but in the end, I won. I refused to lose, really.

I couldn't deny that I wanted to tell Harry. I didn't want to keep the secret from him anymore. It physically hurt me knowing that there was a barrier between us, a barrier he couldn't even see, didn't even know existed. And, according to Hermione, one he wasn't likely to know about any time soon --- according to her, he trusted me wholeheartedly.

I don't know if that made it easier or harder to keep the secret.

Hermione had tried her hardest to convince me to tell him. She had reminded me of how fiercely he defended Professor Lupin even after knowing about his condition, saying I had no reason to think Harry would think any less of me because of mine.

"I know," I had said. I wanted to believe it, really I did, but the fear that had been instilled in me for as long as I could remember --- literally --- refused to be silenced. I scrambled for a new excuse. "But I know he'd worry about me, and I'm not worth that.

She had scoffed at that. "What about me, and the twins? What about Cedric? Does our worry mean nothing?"

I had grown red, with embarrassment and maybe even a bit of anger --- with myself, not with them. "Hermione, if I could go back in time and prevent you three from ever finding out, I would, I'm just a burden and none of you deserve that, and-"

"I'm going to have to stop you right there," she had said, holding up a hand. "It's not your fault, Lucy. You know that much, don't you?"

I had refused to answer.

Her jaw had dropped. "Lucy, it's not, no matter what happened that night."

I had stepped backward, cracking my knuckles one by one, another new nervous habit. "You don't... you don't understand what it's like to be me, Hermione, no one does. Not you, not Cedric, not Harry, not even Professor Lupin."

"Then help us to understand."

I bit my lip, dodging what she said in my reply. "I've never told anybody about my... secret, and I'm not about to start with one of the single most important people in my life."

"Even though we both know he would never do anything to hurt you? Even though we both know that it would do both of you a lot of good?"

I had shaken my head slowly back and forth, unable to meet her eyes. "Hermione, I'm not worth that."

She had taken a step toward me. "Yes, you are."

I had stepped backward again. "I should go see if he wants to work on the impediment jinx. I-I can do that much for him tonight."

"Lucy."

I had glanced up at her one last time; she stared me down. "Hermione, it would be unfair of me to tell him so close to the third task, even if I wanted to tell him. We can have this conversation again first thing on the morning of June 25 if you want, but please don't try to make me do this before then."

She had considered this for a second before nodding. "Alright. That's fine. I'll just tell him tomorrow night that you're doing something with Cedric; he doesn't have the map, so he won't know any better. Not that he ever checks it anyway, apparently, or else he would have caught on by now... but still."

The full moon in and of itself was relatively easy. Without wolfsbane, I was nowhere near as sick as I had been on the fateful June full moon of 1994, and the Room of Requirement opened easily. And the next day, it turned out the lie about doing something with Cedric wouldn't be much of a lie after all.

Because after taking me to the Hospital Wing to get my wideye potion, Cedric asked if I'd teach him the Patronus Charm.

"You can say no, if you'd like, if you think it's cheating," he added sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck, "but I thought if anyone could teach me, it'd be you. And it might be helpful in the maze."

I laughed. "I'm offended that you think I wouldn't want to teach you. Name a time and place and I'll be there --- truthfully, I doubt it'll take you very many tries; you are three years older and wiser than I was when I learned."

So, that night, we found ourselves in the same History of Magic classroom where Harry and I had spent so many evenings with Professor Lupin.

It was odd, really, teaching my older brother something. Between Cedric and George and Fred, I was very often the person learning the advanced spell. But to be honest? I enjoyed every minute of it.

"You already know the incantation, I'm guessing?" I asked.

He nodded. "Expecto patronum, yeah?"

"That's it! Well, Harry and I learned with a boggart that turned into a dementor, being seeing as we have neither boggarts nor dementors, I'm afraid you'll just have to practice without feeling like you're drowning in your own misery."

"What a shame," he chuckled. "Well, once I get it down, I'll see if I can find something similar to challenge me. But it'll probably be easier to learn without that additional difficulty."

"I agree. Okay, so you know the incantation, but the incantation in and of itself isn't enough on its own to produce a patronus. It's a guardian, a beacon, a shield. Call it what you want. But it only works because it's a physical embodiment of your own inner light, so the dementor can feed on that instead of attacking you directly. And, if it's strong enough, the force of happiness can actually overwhelm the dementor entirely." I paused and twirled my wand. "Personally, I had to try a couple of different memories before my patronus was corporeal. Harry had a harder time than I did, but he was the one who actually held back the hundreds of dementors last June, so I don't know at this point whose is stronger." I snorted. "But anyway, that doesn't matter right now. The memory that works for me is the memory of our last night in Tahoe. I'm not totally sure what Harry's is, but I know it's at least that powerful, if not more so. So think now about something so happy that you feel like you glow inside at the thought of it. Close your eyes if it helps."

He closed his eyes, brow furrowing in concentration as he searched for a memory. "Okay. I think I have one."

"Good! So, whenever you're ready, say 'Expecto patronum' and focus with all of your might on the happiness in that memory."

Cedric opened his eyes and took a deep breath to steady himself before holding his wand out in front of him.

"Expecto patronum!"

A couple of bright wisps escaped the tip of his wand, but they didn't take any form.

"Uh oh, Cedric Diggory just had his soul sucked by a dementor!" I exclaimed in my best cheesy Ludo Bagman impression. "Fortunately, he has several other happy memories! Let's see if this memory is good enough for those greedy, greedy dementors!"

Cedric laughed. "The twins' theatrics have certainly rubbed off on you."

"Well, let's hope my patronus-casting ability rubs off on you," I teased him. "C'mon, Ced, try to think of something happier. What was that last one?"

"Kissing Cho at the Quidditch World Cup," he admitted with a blush. "I really thought it'd work."

"Huh, I would think so, too. But what do I know? I've never been kissed. Maybe it's not everything it's made out to be. Think of another one, maybe something with Henry?"

Cedric nodded. "Maybe when we were sorted into the same house? Realizing I had a built-in best friend after we'd gotten along so well on the train?"

"Yeah, that sounds good! Try it!"

He closed his eyes for a moment and held his wand out. "Expecto patronum!"

This time, stronger wisps emerged from his wand and formed a fairly substantial --- though small --- shield.

"Yes! Closer! I think something like that would give you a chance to run the opposite direction," I said. "Try another one, just to see if you can get it stronger. It doesn't have to be corporeal to give you a fighting chance, you just need to be able to escape."

He tried a couple more memories, all about the same strength as Henry's memory. I told him to dig deeper, to try to find a memory that combined elements of all of the other happy memories.

Cedric closed his eyes again, and after a couple moments, he smiled. "I've got one. Expecto patronum!"

This time, the shield that formed was roughly the size of Professor McGonagall's blackboard; in other words, it was massive.

"Yes!" I exclaimed. "Yes yes yes! You would definitely have enough time to get away! What memory was that?"

He was still smiling. "Entering the Tournament, because I wanted to and not because of Dad, with you and Henry and Cho there to watch. It was a great feeling, believe me."

I smiled back. "I bet. Do you want to try one more, just to see if you might be able to produce a corporeal one? We don't have to if you're tired, but considering you went from a couple of wisps to that, I think you might have a good chance."

Cedric nodded. "Yeah, it never hurts to do something one more time. It's not in the nature of a Hufflepuff to settle for 'good enough.'"

"It's not in the nature of a Gryffindor either," I said with a definitive nod. "Alright, think of another memory. The best possible."

He shut his eyes tightly, then beamed. "I know exactly what to do." He opened his eyes again and adjusted his stance. "Expecto patronum!"

A massive bird, an osprey I realized, erupted from his wand. We watched in wonder as it circled over our heads. (A/N: "The osprey is a fish-eating bird found across the world. These birds have incredible vision and can spot underwater prey from the air. They brave the depths of water, diving completely beneath the surface, unlike any other bird, and this courageousness makes them a powerful patronus indeed.")

I turned to Cedric. "Alright, you've got to tell me. What was that memory?"

"My birthday last year, with the Quidditch match. All of my favorite people in one place playing the sport I love. What could be better?"

"That moment you just had, maybe?" I asked with a grin. I hugged him tightly. "I knew you could do it!"

"Because of you," he said, releasing me before releasing a happy sigh. "Thank you, Lu. That was... awesome."

I smiled. "Just another spell in your repertoire. I'm glad I was finally able to teach you something."

"Oh, you've taught me more than just that," he said with a disbelieving shake of his head. "Lu, you're the reason I want to be a healer."

"And you'll be the best!" I said. "But you need to win the Triwizard Tournament first."

"Do you really think I stand a chance?"

I blinked. "Was that supposed to be a legitimate question?"

"Well... think about it. Fleur's an absolute powerhouse, Viktor is a professional Quidditch player, and Harry is, well, Harry Potter."

"And you are Cedric Diggory. Honestly, Cedric, it's like you don't even know how highly everyone thinks of you."

He blushed and glanced away. "Knowing how other people think of me is different from actually thinking the same of myself."

"Oh." I felt my heart sink. "Cedric, you-"

"Hey." He turned back to me and smiled. "It's okay. Really, Lu, it is. All of this --- being chosen, the training, the tournament itself --- has really helped. I've never been terribly confident, but I think right now is the closest I've ever felt to... being comfortable, I guess. When you're on a pedestal, the only way you can go is down, and I've always been so afraid of the pedestal catching fire and falling, burning me along with it. But I'm not quite so afraid anymore. It's like the wooden pedestal is being slowly filled with something stronger, like concrete, something that won't burn away even if everything else does." He chuckled uneasily, shaking his head. "I don't even know if that makes sense-"

"It does," I interrupted. "It absolutely does. I just... never realized it was possible for someone to feel that way. I've always had the opposite problem."

He nodded, waiting for me to go on.

It was my turn to glance away. "When you start on the bottom, the only way to go is up. And it's a lot easier to go down than go up."

"You're certainly correct in that regard," he said with a humorless laugh. "Falling is easier than climbing."

"Yeah, falling off of my broom was certainly easier than hiking up Stoatshead Hill," I commented, making him laugh for real. I glanced back up at him. "We've done alright for ourselves, haven't we?"

He smiled as he nodded. "And it'll only get better from here." Cedric held his wand out in front of him. "Together? Just to make sure we've both got it down?"

I reached for my own wand, closing my eyes and going back to the shores of Lake Tahoe. "Together. Three..."

"Two..."

"One..."

"EXPECTO PATRONUM!"

My bear joined the osprey, and the two animals lapped the room --- one in the air and the other on the ground --- before fading with a flash of silver.

It was beautiful.

I would have been perfectly happy if life had continued in just the same way until final exams, helping Harry during the day and studying and working on collecting my memories at night. I had successfully captured the memory of teaching Cedric the Patronus Charm, and I was planning on capturing the memory of winning the Quidditch Cup my third year next.

But after the Friday before final exams, my nights became too full of worry to even think about anything else.

The day started normally enough. Transfiguration was just review, and Ancient Runes was... well, Ancient Runes.

Malfoy had been saying all along he thought Krum would win, no competition. He doubted Fleur because she was a girl, he doubted Harry because he was fourteen (even though everyone knew he didn't need a reason to bring Harry down), and he doubted Cedric (or at least, claimed to --- I had reason to doubt his doubts) because he knew saying so would bother me. He'd ridiculed me all year for refusing to wear his stupid badges, and with the third task drawing nearer, he attacked me with renewed vigor. But I had heard from a number of girls in our year that he had been caught staring at me at the Yule Ball, mesmerized, by multiple people from all three schools, so I tolerated his attacks in silence knowing I had a weapon in my back pocket I could use against him whenever I couldn't take it anymore.

"I promise you I'll take the highest score in the class so you don't have to sit with him next year," Hermione muttered as we left.

"Or second-highest," I replied teasingly.

She laughed, looking a tiny bit embarrassed. "Right. That would be alright, too."

We headed to the Great Hall for lunch, but before we could come in, Ron flagged us down.

"What happened to Harry?" I asked, immediately recognizing the concern in Ron's eyes.

"He- how did you know something was wrong with- never mind. He... well, he fell asleep in Divination."

Hermione snorted, then grew serious. "Sorry. Can't blame him is all. Go on."

"And he started rolling around on the floor, clutching his scar... told Trelawney he just had a headache, of course, but I reckon he went to Dumbledore."

I felt my blood run cold. "The last time that happened..."

I spied Harry over Ron's shoulder, and it took all of my willpower not to sprint over.

Instead, I walked over as quickly as I dared. "Harry, what did Dumbledore say?"

He looked over my shoulder at Ron and Hermione and gestured for us to follow him. We made our way to an empty classroom and sat in a loose circle on the ground.

"I already wrote to Sirius," Harry said as I shut the door with a flick of my wand. "That's why I took a little longer." He massaged his forehead with his fingers. "Dumbledore said he thinks it's possible my dream... actually happened. Voldemort got a letter from an owl. He said something about how Wormtail's blunder had been repaired. He said someone was dead. Then he said, Wormtail wouldn't be fed to the snake; there was a snake beside his chair. He said he'd be feeding me to it, instead. Then he did the Cruciatus Curse on Wormtail, and my scar hurt. It woke me up, it hurt so badly."

I pulled my knees to my chest, feeling a wave of panic rising in me. "Does it still hurt, Harry?"

He shook his head. "I'm fine now. And... well, while I was in Dumbledore's office, I sort of fell into his Pensieve."

"You... what? What memories did you see?" I asked, a little too quickly. If he had somehow seen Mr. Midgen talking to Dumbledore... the thought was terrifying.

If Harry thought it odd how unnerved I was, he didn't show it. "I saw Karkaroff's trial, and Barty Crouch Jr.'s. And Ludo Bagman's."

"Ludo Bagman's?" I echoed. "He was a Death Eater?"

"No, no, he wasn't, he just passed information to Death Eaters, supposedly by accident." Harry bit his lip and looked at me. "Your mum was there at Barty Crouch Jr.'s trial, Lu. Mr. Crouch was still the judge, but she was the one reading the accusations."

"Oh," I said, realizing that Harry now knew about Neville's parents. "That makes sense, I s'pose. Was there anything really notable about any of the trials? Anything new we don't already know?"

He shifted on the ground. "Snape was a Death Eater, too. But Dumbledore trusts him, for a reason he wouldn't explain to me."

"What?" the other three of us asked in unison.

Harry nodded, looking down at his shoes. "Yeah, I know. Oh, and Cornelius Fudge was there when I first arrived at Dumbledore's office. He reckons Madame Maxime attacked Crouch."

Hermione glanced at me, her gaze loaded with meaning. I raised my eyebrows in what I hoped was a See, the wizarding world is prejudiced to everyone, Hermione, this is why I can't tell Harry type of gesture. She shook her head and rested her chin against her fist.

"Dumbledore reckons You-Know-Who's getting stronger again as well?" Ron asked after a long pause.

"Yeah," Harry said heavily.

"And he trusts Snape? He really trusts Snape, even though he knows he was a Death Eater?"

"Yeah."

"Rita Skeeter," Hermione said, jerking her head up.

"How can you be worrying about her now?" Ron asked.

"I'm not worrying about her. I'm just thinking, remember what she said to me in the Three Broomsticks? 'I know things about Ludo Bagman that would make your hair curl.' This is what she meant, isn't it? She reported his trial, she knew he'd passed information to the Death Eaters. And Winky too, remember? 'Ludo Bagman's a bad wizard.' Mr. Crouch would have been furious he got off, he would have talked about it at home."

"Yeah, but Bagman didn't pass information on purpose, did he?"

"We can't know for sure."

"And Fudge reckons Madame Maxime attacked Crouch?"

"Yeah, but he's only saying that because Crouch disappeared near the Beauxbatons carriage," Harry said. Oh, how blind he was to the prejudice...

Ron was not so blind. "We never thought of her, did we? Mind you, she's definitely got giant blood, and she doesn't want to admit it-"

"And I can't blame her," I said rather bitterly.

"Yeah, Ron," Hermione echoed. "Look what happened to Hagrid when Rita found out about his mother. Look at Fudge, jumping to conclusions about her, just because she's part giant. Who needs that sort of prejudice? I'd probably say I had big bones if I knew that's what I'd get for telling the truth."

"We should go eat lunch," I cut in. "We still have three classes today."

Everyone agreed, so we rose to our feet and headed to the Great Hall. The conversation was over, but my worries had just begun. Nothing about what Dumbledore had said to Harry was comforting in the slightest.

I was able to force myself to focus when it came to my final exams. The History of Magic exam, my last exam, was scheduled for the day of the third task, but Professor Binns let me take it the night before after dinner once I signed a magically-binding contract saying I wouldn't tell anyone what was on it. I was let in on a little secret none of the champions knew --- everyone's families would be in attendance for the third task. As Cedric's sister, Professor McGonagall (correctly) assumed I'd want to spend the day with him and my parents and had thus pulled the appropriate strings with Professor Binns. (No disrespect to him, of course, but it's not like he had anything better to do on a Friday night in June. I reckon having a student stick around for a while was the highlight of his week, even if I was just taking an exam.)

By the time I had finished the exam, the common room was nearly empty. I didn't see Ron or Hermione, but Harry was sitting in my favorite window seat, his back to the portrait hole as he gazed out at the stars.

I walked over and slid in across from him. "Trying to replace me already, Potter? I was only gone a couple hours."

"You're irreplaceable," he replied, turning away from the window to smile at me. "And you have good taste in window seats. This one has the best view of the stars."

I leaned my head against the cool window and nodded. "It does."

"How was the exam? Am I going to be glad I don't have to take it?"

I grinned tiredly. "It wasn't awful, but after already taking two today... oh well, it's over now, for better or for worse."

"Yeah, it is." He glanced back out of the window, his smile faltering.

"I would ask what's bothering you, but I already know the answer," I said quietly after a moment, looking up at the stars as well, "and honestly, it's bothering me too. But 24 hours from now, it'll all be over. Win, lose, or draw, you'll never have to worry about this stupid tournament ever again."

He nodded slowly. "Yeah, you're right. Thanks, Lu, I needed to hear that."

"Of course, it's true," I replied. "This hasn't exactly been a picnic for me, either. Once we get past tomorrow, what do you say we just, I don't know, play Quidditch until summer comes?"

"That would be... great. Beyond great." He sighed. "I miss Quidditch."

"Oh, me too. I can't wait to play for real next year."

"Merlin, I don't even want to think about next year."

I snorted. "Well, think about it this way. This year has been hell on earth, right?"

"Right."

"How can next year be any worse than this year? Think about it. No Triwizard Tournament. No mass murderer out to kill you. No Chamber of Secrets. No Philosopher's Stone. Sure, knowing you there will be something that goes wrong, but it can't possibly be worse than this year."

Harry laughed out loud. "I'm personally hoping for a dragon invasion next year. That I could handle. Well, actually, you'd probably just befriend them all, meaning we wouldn't get to fight them, but-"

I started laughing too hard to hear whatever he said next.

He grinned. "What? What did I say?"

"You know I would in fact try to befriend all of the dragons," I managed between fits of giggles.

"Well, yeah, that's obvious. You'd try to befriend any creature that overran the school, whether it's dragons or blast-ended skrewts or, I don't know, manticores. The bigger and more dangerous, the better, as far as you're concerned. Those porlocks sure are cute, though," he added with an adorable little smile.

I shook my head, still laughing. "You know what, I can't deny it. Congratulations, Potter, you've figured me out. And yes, yes they are."

"You'd think I've learned a thing or two in the last four years," he remarked. "Glad I could amuse you."

"I am certainly amused," I replied. I took a deep breath to stop laughing and released it in a sigh. "We should probably get to bed. Big day tomorrow."

He nodded, sliding out of the window seat and stifling a yawn. "Fair enough. G'night, Lu."

I let myself study his face for half a second longer than I would have otherwise. I always felt most at ease when Harry was right there beside me, where I knew he would either be completely out of harm's way or that at least harm would have to get past me first. I smiled, feeling my chest flood with warmth for this boy I loved so dearly. "G'night, Harry."

A/N: Hey, everyone. I just wanted to post a more personal note than usual, because as you all know, this story is about to take a dark turn.

Sunday, I lost my dog unexpectedly. She was only seven years old, and perfectly healthy until her last 24 hours of life. I was able to make it home to be with her for about her final 12 hours, and I'm so so so thankful that she didn't suffer for long, but to say I'm still reeling would be an incredible understatement. My dog was my best friend for all seven years she was a part of our family, and I'm going to miss her so much.

I considered taking a break from this story. I thought about waiting to work on it again until after Thanksgiving, maybe after Christmas, maybe even later. I wanted to wallow until I felt better. But... I realized that wallowing wouldn't make me feel any better --- continuing to write would. This story genuinely fills me with so much joy, and seeing your sweet comments week after week means more than you could possibly know.

So I'm going to continue with the story. I know that losing a dog isn't the same as losing a brother, but I'm still going to pour everything I can of myself and my own experiences right now into Lucy. I'm still going to do my best to channel all of this grief and try to turn it into something beautiful. Maybe Lucy and I will be able to heal together. If it gets to be too much for me, I'll take a break, but as of right now, I'm going to keep writing as a way of making sense of the horrible circumstances I've found myself thrown into and hopefully find healing and balance along the way.

And... well, I thought you all might want to know that I buried my baby girl at sunrise. She died at 5:45 in the morning, surrounded by my whole family but looking at me, and my dad and I were able to dig a grave before the sun had risen. I didn't get to take a picture of the sunrise, but trust me when I say it was beautiful. While I obviously wish nothing like this had happened at all, I'm so unbelievably thankful that her death was peaceful and that the sunrise was beautiful and that I was present for both things, the horrible and the hopeful alike. To quote Cedric, "Even if everything else in the world changes, you can still count on the sunrise." And I did. I counted on the sunrise, and it was there for me.

Thank you to everyone who's read this far. I really hope you enjoyed the chapter. I know the next several chapters will be difficult, but I hope you all enjoy those too. They'll be the most raw, authentic, emotional chapters I've ever written, and I promise that this story has a happy ending.

From here on out, I'm dedicating this story to Murphy, who will forever be the best dog I've ever loved. I hope she was watching the sunrise right alongside us.

Thank you for everything. Love you all. See you Saturday at midnight PST. ❤