LUCY:

Life went on.

After I had officially talked to everyone who wanted to talk to me, I found myself suddenly not wanting to talk to anyone in any capacity. It was as if my body and mind and soul all knew that I needed to be functional long enough to do that much at least, then everything shut down. I shut down all at once, it seemed. I stayed with Hermione in the Hospital Wing until she fell asleep again, then I left the castle and didn't look back. My feet led me to a hill, our hill, where I found Harry already sitting and staring off into the distance with unseeing eyes.

I lowered myself down next to him on the grass wordlessly. I wanted to ask him how he was doing, but my mouth couldn't form the words. I didn't need to hear the answer to know it, anyway.

I inched closer to him, and he inched closer to me. Once our shoulders brushed, we each went still, except to lean just the smallest bit closer to each other. We remained there, utterly still, as the sun crossed the sky, as the sun dipped below the horizon, as the darkening sky allowed stars to pierce its heavy veil, as time and life went on.

In the days that followed, I went with Harry wherever he happened to go. When he visited Ron and Hermione in the Hospital Wing, I was there too. When he wandered the grounds with no destination in mind, I was at his side. We avoided the Great Hall, opting instead to sneak down to the kitchens at odd hours of the day. I slept in Ron's empty dormitory bed with Tuck, ready to chase away Harry's nightmares, knowing I had gotten quite good at keeping my own to myself. One night, we retrieved his confiscated broom from Umbridge's office while she wasn't there, and we tossed a Quaffle back and forth in perfect silence until the sun started to rise. Another night, when Harry was sound asleep, I noticed that there was smoke rising from the chimney of my favorite hut, so I headed down with Tuck and had a rather tearful reunion with Hagrid and Fang.

We didn't speak more than necessary. Neither of us really had anything that we wanted to say. Actions were enough.

I followed him without question to the Department of Mysteries, both of us wanting to save someone we loved. We had failed, but we had failed together. There wasn't much that could be said about that.

Voldemort had fired a Killing Curse at Harry. I had jumped on Harry, to tackle him out of the way, angling myself so it would hit me instead. Harry had twisted in midair, so it would hit him. There wasn't much that could be said about that.

Voldemort had possessed Harry. I had grabbed his face on instinct, which resulted in Voldemort possessing me. Harry had taken my hand, to take Voldemort away from me and back into him. We had clung to each other, though, as he went back and forth, until he was gone, neither willing to let go, neither willing to let the other bear the brunt of the suffering alone. There wasn't much that could be said about that, either.

Sunday morning, we found ourselves in the Hospital Wing. I was skimming the Prophet, and I huffed, rolled my eyes, and shoved the paper into Hermione's hands once Harry was mentioned.

June 23, 1996

HE-WHO-MUST-NOT-BE-NAMED RETURNS

In a brief statement Friday night, Minister of Magic Cornelius Fudge confirmed that He-Who-Must-Not-Be Named has returned to this country and is active once more. "It is with great regret that I must confirm that the wizard styling himself Lord — well, you know who I mean — is alive and among us again," said Fudge, looking tired and flustered as he addressed reporters. "It is with almost equal regret that we report the mass revolt of the dementors of Azkaban, who have shown themselves averse to continuing in the Ministry's employ. We believe that the dementors are currently taking direction from Lord — Thingy.

"We urge the magical population to remain vigilant. The Ministry is currently publishing guides to elementary home and personal defense that will be delivered free to all Wizarding homes within the coming month."

The Minister's statement was met with dismay and alarm from the Wizarding community, which as recently as last Wednesday was receiving Ministry assurances that there was "no truth whatsoever in these persistent rumors that You-Know-Who is operating amongst us once more."

Details of the events that led to the Ministry turnaround are still hazy, though it is believed that He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named and a select band of followers (known as Death Eaters) gained entry to the Ministry of Magic itself on Thursday evening.

Albus Dumbledore, newly reinstated headmaster of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, reinstated member of the International Confederation of Wizards, and reinstated Chief Warlock of the Wizengamot, was unavailable for comment last night. He has insisted for a year that You-Know-Who was not dead, as was widely hoped and believed, but recruiting followers once more for a fresh attempt to seize power. Meanwhile the Boy Who Lived...

Hermione stopped reading aloud and sighed. "There you are, Harry, I knew they'd drag you into it somehow."

"He's 'the Boy Who Lived' again now, though, isn't he? Not such a show-off maniac anymore, eh?" Ron asked with a roll of his eyes.

"Yes, they're very complimentary about him now. 'A lone voice of truth, perceived as unbalanced, yet never wavered in his story. Forced to bear ridicule and slander.' I notice they don't mention the fact that it was them doing all the ridiculing and slandering, though." She sighed. "Get a load of these: 'You-Know-Who's Last Attempt to Take Over, pages two to four, What the Ministry Should Have Told Us, page five, Why Nobody Listened to Albus Dumbledore, pages six to eight, Exclusive Interview with Harry Potter, page nine.' Well, his return certainly given them lots to write about. And that interview with Harry isn't exclusive, it's the one that was in The Quibbler months ago."

"Daddy sold it to them. He got a very good price for it too, so we're going to go on an expedition to Sweden this summer and see if we can catch a Crumple-Horned Snorkack," Luna piped up from her chair nearby.

Hermione opened her mouth, closed it, then said, "That sounds lovely" in a very strained voice.

Ginny looked at me with amusement written all over her face. I returned the look as best I could. Hermione was trying, she really was. I appreciated it.

"So anyway, what's going on in school?" Hermione asked, sitting up straighter, then wincing, then pulling Cedric's jumper closer. It had been helping with the damage caused by whatever curse had hit her. It only felt right that she have it. It was an olive branch, for one, and for two, she had been the one to find out that objects contain magic, and that Cedric's jumpers in particular were laced with healing powers. I would want it back once she was better, of course, but I wouldn't take it back a moment sooner.

"Well, Flitwick got rid of Fred and George's swamp in about three seconds, but he left a tiny patch under the window and he's roped it off," Ginny said.

"Why?"

Ginny shrugged. "Oh, he just says it was a really good bit of magic."

"I think he left it as a monument to Fred and George. They sent me all these, you know," Ron said, gesturing to the dozens of Chocolate Frogs next to him. "Must be doing all right out of that joke shop, eh?"

Despite the heaviness of the past few days, a shiver of excitement ran through me at the mention of the twins and their joke shop. Soon, summer would begin, and I would spend the next two months with my favorite menaces in the whole world. It was going to be great.

"So has all the trouble stopped now that Dumbledore's back?" Hermione asked.

Ginny sighed dramatically. "Yes, Lucy and I have ceased our, er, extracurricular activities. She doesn't want to anymore, even though Umbridge is just sulking in her office now and not even bothering to come down for meals. She would be such an easy target."

"Wait, why?" Ron inquired. "What the hell happened to her in the Forbidden Forest?"

"Who knows? Who cares?" Ginny replied. "Her reign of terror is over, one way or another. For good, I hope."

"Dumbledore rescued her," Luna piped up. "I was nearby when they emerged, though neither saw me. She appeared rather shaken and was refusing to talk about the centaurs."

I bit my lip. I'd heard horrible rumors from my father about centaurs and what they did to humans they didn't like, but I had no way of knowing if they were true or not and I wasn't exactly going to go up to Umbridge and ask. I couldn't bring myself to adopt the same attitude about it as Ginny, since she didn't know what I did, but at the same time, whatever the reason, Umbridge didn't appear to be a threat anymore, and for that I was grateful.

"Speaking of centaurs, who's Divination teacher now? Is Firenze staying?" Hermione asked.

"He's got to, the other centaurs won't take him back, will they?" Harry replied, speaking for the first time that whole conversation. I thought it was a funny time to jump in, all things considered, but it was nice to see him leaving his shell a little regardless.

Ginny shook her head. "I heard he and Trelawney are both going to teach."

Ron snorted. "Bet Dumbledore wishes he could've gotten rid of Trelawney for good. Mind you, the whole subject's useless if you ask me, Firenze isn't a lot better."

"How can you say that after we've just found out that there are real prophecies?" Hermione asked incredulously. She sighed. "It's a pity it broke."

Harry and I exchanged a look. Nobody else knew what we knew. Neville told everyone it smashed, and that we hadn't heard what it said. That was true for Neville and Harry, at least, I had heard it. I didn't want to talk about it though, and Harry didn't want to talk about his conversation with Professor Dumbledore either.

I jerked my head toward the door in a silent question. Harry nodded and got to his feet.

"Yeah, it is. Still, at least You-Know-Who never found out what was in it either," Ron was saying. "Wait, where are you two going?"

"I just remembered Harry hasn't seen Hagrid yet," I replied, "and I told him we'd let him know how you two were doing."

Ginny smirked. "I didn't realize you two were ever apart, when did you go without Harry?"

I playfully swatted the back of her head. "In the middle of the night, for your information. Piss off."

"Say hi to Hagrid for us! And ask him what's happening about... about his little friend!" Hermione called as Harry and I left.

I turned around to give her a small smile. Hermione was trying, she really was.

"You know we're going to have to talk about it eventually, right?" I asked in a quiet voice as soon as we were alone again.

Harry nodded sullenly. "Not yet."

"That's okay. Not yet."

We walked in silence all the way down to the entrance hall, where we spotted Malfoy, Crabbe, and Goyle.

All five of us stopped and stared at each other for several long moments.

Draco was the first to break the silence, glaring daggers at Harry. "You're dead, Potter."

"Funny, you'd think I'd have stopped walking around," Harry replied mildly, raising his eyebrows.

I stifled a laugh at the furious expression on Draco's face. He looked like he was about to explode.

"You're going to pay. I'm going to make you pay for what you've done to my father."

"Well, I'm terrified now. I s'pose Lord Voldemort's just a warm-up act compared to you three—" Harry stopped talking as all three recoiled, and an amused smile toyed with the corners of his mouth. "What's the matter?" he said, for Malfoy, Crabbe, and Goyle had all looked stricken at the sound of the name. "He's your dad's mate, isn't he? Not scared of him, are you?"

Draco advanced, his goons just behind him. "You think you're such a big man, Potter... you wait, I'll have you, you can't land my father in prison—"

"I thought I just had," Harry said.

"The dementors have left Azkaban. Dad and the others'll be out in no time—"

"Yeah, I expect they will. Still, at least everyone knows what scumbags they are now—"

Draco reached for his wand, but Harry had already drawn his. I didn't even bother with my own wand. I simply extended my hand, and Draco's wand flew from his into mine, without me even saying a word.

"Potter! Diggory!" Snape's voice bellowed as footsteps approached us. "What do you think you're doing?"

"I'm trying to decide what curse to use on Malfoy, sir," Harry replied.

"And I summoned his wand out of his hand to make sure he didn't get the chance to attack Harry while he considers his options," I added, twirling the wand between my fingers nonchalantly.

"Put that wand away at once, Potter, and return that wand to Malfoy, Diggory. Ten points from Gryff—" He glanced at the hourglasses on the wall and smiled cruelly. "Ah. I see there are no longer any points left in the Gryffindor hourglass to take away. In that case, Potter, we will simply have to—"

"Add some more?" came another voice. I whirled around to see Professor McGonagall approaching us, a bag in one hand and a walking stick in the other.

Snape seemed as surprised to see her as I was, but far less happy about her arrival. "Professor McGonagall! Out of St. Mungo's, I see!"

She slipped off her travelling cloak, and held it out along with her bag. "Yes, Professor Snape, I'm quite as good as new. You two — Crabbe — Goyle — here. Take these up to my office for me."

As soon as they had done so, Professor McGonagall walked over to get a closer look at the hourglasses. I hovered nearby, just in case, but she seemed remarkably sturdy, all things considered.

"Right then. Well, I think Potter and his friends ought to have fifty points apiece for alerting the world to the return of You-Know-Who! What say you, Professor Snape?"

"What? Oh — well — I suppose..."

"So that's fifty each for Potter, the two Weasleys, Longbottom, Miss Granger, and of course Miss Diggory in Gryffindor. Then fifty for Miss Lovegood in Ravenclaw, fifty for Mr. Furls in Hufflepuff, and fifty for your own Mr. Graye." I carefully watched Snape's expression at the mention of Archie. To my horror, it darkened significantly. Snape had clearly never bothered to protect Archie from his peers in the past, so I wasn't terribly surprised, but that one single look confirmed to me that Archie was less safe in Slytherin at that point in time than he had ever been. I tore my eyes away and watched as gems trickled into their hourglasses. "Now, you wanted to take ten from Mr. Potter and Miss Diggory, I think, Professor Snape — so there we are. Well, Potter, Malfoy, I believe you two should be outside on a glorious day such as this. Miss Diggory, I believe we are long overdue for an important conversation, if you don't mind."

I nodded, glancing at Harry. "I'll meet you at Hagrid's, yeah?"

"Yeah," he replied despite the confused look on his face.

I smiled to show him that it was okay before turning to follow Professor McGonagall to her office. I knew that there were a number of possibilities for what she wanted to discuss, but I wasn't afraid. I trusted her.

"How are you, Professor?" I asked.

"Well enough, Lucy, thank you," she replied. "And you?"

I shrugged. "Well enough, I suppose. Do you want to talk about what happened?"

"I have already heard about it all. No, I'd like to talk about you, without..."

"The Pink Venomous Tentacula around?" I finished for her.

To my surprise, that response startled a laugh out of her. "So that's what you all called her."

"Among... other things," I replied. "That one remains my favorite, though. It was George Weasley's idea. Pink Venomous Tentacula, or PVT for short."

Professor McGonagall laughed again, shaking her head. "Quite clever, quite clever."

I grinned. "Yeah, he is. They are." We had reached her office, so we both stepped inside and closed the door. I whispered a couple of silencing charms and other protective enchantments, blushing when I turned back to see Professor McGonagall watching me with wonder. I shrugged. "Can't be too careful these days. Especially not when you're me. Anyway, about the twins, I couldn't exactly say this in front of Umbridge, but I'll be working in their joke shop this summer. And, well, ideally I'll be working there after this summer, too. I just didn't want to get the twins in trouble with Umbridge so soon before they were leaving—"

"You knew they were leaving?" she asked with an amused smile as she lowered herself gingerly behind her desk and summoned a chair for me on the other side.

"Of course," I replied, pretending to be offended. "They had to leave enough Dungbombs, Stinkpellets, and Skiving Snackboxes to last the rest of the school year under someone's bed."

"We professors all had a feeling that you were behind many of the shenanigans. I'm glad we were right."

"Ginny was my partner in crime," I added with what probably looked like an impish smile.

"In that case, Poppy owes me a Galleon," Professor McGonagall replied, "as well as Pomona. They both thought Harry was the one helping you."

I shook my head. "Harry and Luna did take over on full moons, though."

She smiled at me for a long second before it slipped away to a solemn expression. "You'll be alright this summer with the twins, yes?"

"Oh, yes." I nodded. "No need to worry about that. I'm not entirely sure what the plan is, but they assured me that they were working with Remus on those details so I know it'll be okay. I'm sure we'll just go back to my family's house so I can transform in the basement again."

A long silence fell as she nodded. "Well, I... I wanted to ask you about that. About... your family. When you were in here for your career consultation, that horrible woman was saying... anyway, I wanted to ask you about that directly, but I didn't exactly get the chance with the, er, Pink Venomous Tentacula lurking and just itching for a chance to get you in trouble."

"Right." I nodded to steel myself. I hadn't thought about that meeting in quite a while — so many other happenings had come to pass since then it was hard to keep track of all of the ways Umbridge had sown seeds of doubt and division in my life — but I had always known we would need to talk about it eventually. "The short version of the story is that I was bitten when I was five years old, on a night that Amos Diggory happened to be in the same forest, hunting the same werewolf that bit me. When I was bitten, I was Lucy Everlin. By the time the next moon occurred, I was Lucy Diggory." I swallowed hard and looked down. "He had my memory wiped, but the man who did it preserved a few of my memories in vials for me to see when I was older. I watched those for the first time third year, because the dementors jogged my memory, so to speak. Something about the trauma not being hidden from them even though obliviation had tried to hide it from me. Anyway, I — my real name is Lucy Everlin, and Umbridge found that out because she did questionably-legal digging through various files after the events of this summer. She doesn't know I'm a werewolf, but I know she's suspicious of me and wondering how I survived the 'magical attack on a Muggle family' described in my dad's file." I sighed. "Cedric knew the whole truth. A couple of Order members know the whole truth. And Harry knows the whole truth. And... well, based on what happened last summer and what was said to me and about me a couple of days ago, I'm guessing some, if not most, if not all of the Death Eaters know the whole truth too." I sighed again. "So yeah... that's what she meant."

A heavy silence fell. I looked up after a long couple of seconds to see that Professor McGonagall was staring at the ceiling, expression absolutely unreadable.

"How could someone do this to a child?" she wondered aloud, looking back at me. "You were a child. I'm so sorry, Lucy."

I managed a shrug. "For what it's worth, I don't know what I would change, if anything. If not for that, I never would have known Cedric or Harry or the Weasleys or... you get the idea. But at the same time, I still wonder, you know? What might have been? What should have been, arguably?"

"I understand."

"I wouldn't trade the time I got with Cedric for anything," I whispered, looking down at my hands.

"Tomorrow will mark a year since he passed, if I'm remembering correctly."

I nodded. "Yeah. I'm not sure if anyone will remember, with Sirius having just..." I swallowed hard. "I don't know what I'm supposed to do."

"What you're supposed to do about what, exactly?"

"I don't know how I'm supposed to acknowledge the fact that — that I've gone on a year without him." I swallowed hard again and shrugged, pushing all of my emotions away. "I suppose it doesn't matter. The world knows that You-Know-Who is back, so the war is really going to begin now, with all of the popular support it should have had a year ago. And for better or for worse, Harry and I have both been thrown into it so we'd better figure out how to keep moving forward."

"As hard as it is, you've done it before," Professor McGonagall replied, "so I know you are strong enough to do it again. As long as you remember you're never alone and that hope is worth the fight, you're going to be alright. That being said, I believe I've kept you away from Mr. Potter long enough. Thank you for talking to me, Lucy, and I'm so sorry."

"Thank you for listening, and I'm sorry too." I snorted. "Four Stunning Spells doesn't sound particularly enjoyable."

She smiled a bit as she shook her head. "I would not recommend it."

~

June 24, 1996 was a sunny day.

I avoided the nightmare that accompanied every 24th by never going to sleep. I kept a quiet vigil on Ron's bed for several hours, watching over Harry as he slept and doing my very best not to think of anything at all. Around 3 in the morning, I scribbled a note for Harry and pressed it gently into the palm of his hand, closing his fingers around it with reverence.

He was alive. I was alive. We were alive.

I stepped into the night carrying nothing but my heavy heart. The night was clear and windy, showing off every star in the sky as the trees and grass whispered around me. I was almost too cold in Cedric's favorite navy blue waffle knit shirt and Ginny's pastel pink pajama pants, but something about the borrowing, the inheritance of both items warmed me in a way that had nothing to do with temperature.

I expected my feet to lead me to the Black Lake, as they had so many times before when my world had turned upside-down. I was drawn to a different place, however. My feet brought me to the Quidditch Pitch, and I climbed the stairs until I reached the top. Not the commentary box, though.

I walked until I reached the spot where I had first done my homework in the stands my very first week of school.

It was where Cedric followed me and found me after I had avoided him. It was where Cedric offered me his broom because he knew how much I missed flying. It was where Cedric promised he'd never let anyone hurt me. It was where Cedric told me that he loved me not out of familial obligation but by choice.

I lowered myself onto the bench slowly and settled into numb disbelief.

One year without Cedric.

One year without my brother.

Exactly a year ago, early in the morning before the final task, I was asleep, in the throes of the repeating nightmare. It was a frightening nightmare at the time, but reality was comforting at the time. It was just a nightmare. Surely Cedric would always be around to save me from the bottom of the Black Lake. Why wouldn't he be?

Exactly a year ago, early in the morning before the final task, I never would have dreamed that Cedric would die anytime soon, let alone later that day, let alone in front of Harry, let alone at the hands of Peter Pettigrew, let alone at the behest of Voldemort. And even if all of that came to pass — because it did — I never would have dreamed that a year would go by without him. I never would have dreamed that I'd be around on June 24, 1996 to mourn him. I never would have dreamed it because surely the world would stop turning without Cedric, surely the world needed Cedric on it in order to turn properly. But reality was disappointing and reality was uncomfortable and reality was impatient and marched right on without him. Reality carried me along, like I was just a teardrop in a lake, and deposited me on that bench in that moment on that day, one year later. With even more scars to show and even more stories to tell whenever the day would come that I'd get to see Cedric again and share everything he had missed.

"I don't know how it's already been a year," I whispered to the stars. "I don't — I don't know how I've made it this far without you. I don't know how I'm supposed to just keep making it without you, year after year." I closed my eyes and let the darkness swallow me whole. "I write letters, I talk to your portrait, right now I guess I'm trying to talk directly to you even though I know you can't hear me, but none of that will ever be good enough. How am I supposed to accept that nothing will ever be good enough? How am I supposed to accept that this hole inside of me will never go away? I can find Claire and the Everlins again one day, I know that Harry and I will be together one day, and I have hope that one day I'll find a purpose greater than just being the protector, but this hole inside of me will never go away, Cedric, no matter what." I wrapped my arms around my middle and held myself tight, pressing Cedric's shirt into my skin, thinking maybe if I squeezed hard enough I could put all of my broken pieces back together. But nothing of the sort happened. A dry sob escaped me. "Come back. Please, come back."

I opened my eyes and looked around, watching, waiting. Patiently, so patiently. As if my magic could call out to him and bring him back to me, to us. But nothing of the sort happened.

I stared down at the grass of the Quidditch Pitch, right at the spot where he had returned, his wrist in Harry's grasp.

I stared at it as the first rays of the sun began to filter through the trees into the stadium. I stared at it as the sun climbed higher and higher.

I stared at it when I heard footsteps racing up the stairs. I stared at it when Harry sat beside me and threw his arms around me and said "I'm here, I'm here, I'm here, I'm here, I'm here" in a choked-sounding voice.

I stared at it when Harry finally let me go and rested a hand on my knee instead. I stared at it as he rubbed his thumb back and forth and back and forth and back and forth.

I stared at it when Ginny joined us, on my other side, and latched herself onto my arm. I stared at it when she buried her head against my shoulder.

I stared at it as Harry stared at me. I stared at it as he gently tucked a lock of hair behind my ear and continued to stare.

I stared at it when Ginny said she was leaving to go get us food. I stared at it when she returned and held out an apple.

I stared at it as Harry tried to convince me to eat something. I stared at it as I shook my head again, and again, and again.

I didn't need to eat. I didn't need anything at all other than my brother back. I was a black hole. I was infinite nothingness.

I stared at it when Neville came up to sit with me so Ginny could go talk to Ron and Hermione. I stared at it when Neville told me that Hufflepuff had all gathered in their common room for the day and they said I was welcome to join if I wanted.

I stared at it when Ginny returned with Luna, who wedged herself between Neville and me. I stared at it when Luna said that she was quite sure that her mother was taking good care of Cedric, since it was his rebirthday and her family always celebrated those for friends and family who had passed.

I stared at it as I nodded. I stared at it as Luna left with Neville and they both reminded me that they cared about me.

I stared at it when Ginny perched herself behind me and started pulling my hair back out of my face into a Dutch braid. I stared at it when she tossed the finished braid over my shoulder without a word.

I stared at it when other people began to filter onto the Pitch for no other reason than to fly around and to try to make the most of the sunniest day of the year to date. I stared at it when Ginny asked if I wanted to beat Bludgers around with her, and when Harry said he'd be willing to throw a Quaffle around with me if that was more my speed.

I stared at it as I shook my head. I stared at it as Harry and Ginny exchanged a look behind my back.

I stared at it when Archie and Cam arrived. I stared at it when Cam said she was sorry for avoiding me so much all year and explained that it was because she couldn't bear to see me grieving so publicly when she had grieved privately at home with her family.

"I know now that it wasn't your choice and you had no home to grieve in or family to grieve with," she said, "so I'm so sorry for the way I left you out to dry, and I'm sorry it took me so long to realize how wrong I was."

I stared at it as I assured her that it was okay and that I understood. I stared at it as she asked if we could try to be friends when school started again in September.

I stared at it as I nodded. I stared at it as I said that would be nice.

I stared at it as Archie gently clamped down on my shoulder and said he'd be watching the next morning's sunrise from the hills if I wanted to join him. I stared at it as the two Slytherins left to join the Hufflepuffs in their common room.

I stared at it when Lavender and Parvati arrived, out of breath and explaining that they'd come running as soon as Neville and Luna told them where I was. I stared at it as they shoved Harry and Ginny out of the way to sandwich me between their arms in a tight squeeze.

I stared at it as I agreed to sleep in our dormitory that night instead of with the boys. I stared at it when Harry said he'd stay there with me, if the others were comfortable with it.

I stared at it when both girls tried and failed to stifle their screechy giggles behind their hands. I stared at it as they rushed off to make sure the dormitory was prepared for the presence of a boy other than Tuck.

I stared at it as Harry and Ginny resumed their vigil on either side of me, Harry on my left and Ginny on my right. I stared at it as I listened to two sets of approaching footsteps.

"Hey Lucy," Ron said, placing a bandaged hand between my shoulder blades.

It was Hermione's hand I felt tracing my braid. "We're here," she murmured.

I stared at it as Ron lowered himself on the bench behind Harry. I stared at it as Hermione lowered herself on the bench behind Ginny.

I stared at it as I let myself be anchored by the four points of physical contact: Harry's hand on my knee, Ginny's hand on my arm, Ron's hand on my back, Hermione's hand on the back of my head. I stared at it as I noticed the way Harry's thumb was spinning small circles on my knee, the way Ginny's knuckles were white against my forearm, the way Ron's hand was steady against my back, the way Hermione's fingers were gentle on my hair.

I stared at it as I surrendered to the sorrow, letting it rip through my chest with the force of a tidal wave. I stared at it as Hermione laid Cedric's jumper in my lap wordlessly.

I stared at it as I let myself ache for all that had been lost. I stared at it as I found myself overwhelmed by all that had been found.

I stared at it when Hermione had to leave to go take the last dosage of healing potions. I stared at it when Ron had to leave a couple minutes later to do the same.

I stared at it as the sun crossed the sky. I stared at it as the sun began to sink.

I stared at it when we were joined by Hagrid and Tuck. I stared at it as I gathered Tuck into my lap, uncurling from the ball into which I'd twisted myself for the first time that day.

"Oh ow," I hissed before I could stop myself. But I continued to stare.

I stared at it when all three immediately asked if I was okay. I stared at it as Hagrid patted my head with more gentleness than I realized was possible for him and said everything would be alright.

I stared at it when he asked what exactly it was that I was looking at. I stared at it as Harry explained softly that it was where he and Cedric had returned.

I stared at it when Hagrid asked in a softer voice what I was looking for. I stared at it as Ginny said she didn't know, and that she wasn't sure if I knew either.

I stared at it as I shook my head. I stared at it as Hagrid patted my head one more time and said he'd be in his hut if we needed anything on our way back to the castle later.

I stared at it as shadows stretched across the grass. I stared at it when I realized we were nearing the exact minute they had returned.

I stared at it when I realized I had no idea what the exact minute was. I stared at it as I wondered if it even mattered.

I stared at it when one last new set of footsteps approached. I stared at it as Harry and Ginny turned to see who had arrived and pulled away from me in unison to make room for whoever the newcomer was.

"I'll walk back up with her," Henry said softly. "I know you two have been out here all day."

"Alright," Ginny replied, reaching forward to squeeze my shoulder one more time.

Harry did the same on my other side. "We'll wait in your dormitory, Lu."

I stared at it as I nodded. I stared at it as Harry and Ginny's footsteps faded to nothingness. I stared at it as Henry sat next to me and reached out to stroke Tuck's head.

"Cedric always loved your little dog," Henry commented. "Showed me every picture he had, multiple times. My sister has a cat, but I always wanted a dog. His name is Tuck, right?"

I nodded. "Tuck."

At the mention of his name, Tuck jumped up and licked my face, breaking my gaze for the first time all day. I blinked, then blinked again, then blinked again, suddenly realizing I had spent the entire day just staring at the place where all had been lost.

Henry looked at me knowingly. "I stared at his empty bed for about half an hour before I could bring myself to get out of bed this morning. I understand."

I nodded. I'd barely spoken at all that day and didn't feel particularly inclined to start any time soon. I was no longer nothingness, but I was still emptiness. I had given the past year everything I had, I'd somehow managed to get by, but I'd collapsed at the finish line. Except it wasn't a finish line. The next day, I would have to carry on.

I realized then that even though I hadn't moved all day, time had carried on around me anyway. Maybe I didn't need to be moving forward all the time. Maybe it was okay to be still and let the world move forward for me. It would, whether I moved with it or not. Sometimes that was a bad thought. The moon never stopped for anything or anyone. But neither did the sun. It still greeted me with a new day. It had set at that point, but it would rise again in the morning.

Everything would be brighter in the morning.

"How did you know?" Henry asked then, his voice thick with unshed tears. "That night? That something was wrong? You just — you hurdled the railing and got there first. Nobody even knew anything was wrong until they saw you. How did you know?"

"I just did," I replied. "I don't — I don't know. All that I knew was that I needed to be there, and my body complied. Then once I fully realized what had happened, I just — I needed to get as far away as possible." I heaved a shuddering breath, but my eyes were dry. "I sprinted down to the Black Lake. George got there half a second before Fred, about a minute later. They helped me get back to the castle and waited with me and Sirius until Harry and Professor Dumbledore showed up. Then I heard the full story of what happened straight from Harry, then I went to my dormitory while he went to the Hospital Wing. Ginny stayed with me, Ron and Hermione stayed with Harry." I held Tuck a little tighter. "After that, I don't really remember what happened until Harry showed up the next day and stayed with me while I cried. I didn't cry at all that night. I just..."

"Couldn't believe it?"

I nodded. "Yeah."

"Me neither." Henry looked down at the Quidditch Pitch. "It's been a year, and I still can't."

"Yeah," I repeated, quieter. "Do you feel a hole inside you that only Cedric could fill?"

"Yes. Merlin, yes."

I glanced at Henry out of the corner of my eye. "You loved him, didn't you? The same way I love Harry?"

"Yes," he repeated, quieter. "Merlin, yes."

"Did you ever get to tell him?"

Henry glanced at me out of the corner of his eye. "No. But... do you remember that piece of parchment I stuck under his pillow, after the funeral?" When I nodded, he nodded back and looked away again. "Yeah. I told him everything in that letter. Never planned on actually giving it to him. I actually planned on burning it, but I couldn't actually do it. It lived under my pillow for a couple of months, but... yeah." He snorted. "If that was your way of asking whether or not you should go for it with Harry—"

I shook my head, a startled half-laugh escaping me. "No, no no no, sorry, I was just wondering, because — because I think he knew. I just wasn't sure if he knew because you told him or not."

"I didn't." Henry sighed. "Even if that wasn't your way of asking whether or not you should go for it with Harry, allow me to give you a bit of advice as someone older and wiser: do it. Cedric and I talked about the two of you on multiple occasions, you know. He was your biggest supporter. Next to me, of course, as the leading expert on secretly pining for your best friend."

I laughed more genuinely that time, even as a fierce blush crawled up my cheeks. "Oh Henry."

"We agreed you should go for it, because Harry was sure to realize he felt the same way if you pointed him in the right direction, so to speak, by confessing your feelings first and highlighting all of the ways you're perfect for each other. Point being," he plowed on, "I think humans are inherently both impatient and afraid, but most people are more afraid than they are impatient. We tend to wait too long to go after what we want. And, well, we never know what the future holds, so you might as well go for it in the present."

"What if I regret it?" I asked. "What if I go for it in the present and it doesn't work out?"

"That's the future's problem," he replied with a shrug. "Trust me when I say future problems are easier to resolve than past regrets. The future is something you shape. The past is what shapes you."

I smiled. "You're a wise man, Henry Furls."

It was Henry's turn to blush.

"Well, that was an interesting reaction," I said slowly, my smile widening. "Henry? Did someone else tell you that?"

"Er — yeah."

I raised my eyebrows. "Henry?"

"George did, the other day," he stammered. "I — well, he asked me what I thought would be different if Cedric was still here, and I answered that everything would be better but nothing would be different necessarily because this world seems determined to destroy itself but that it was worth the fight anyway, and he said... that. In response to my answer."

"Well, I happen to agree, both with you and with George," I said, patting his very-red cheek. "So what was that you were saying about going for it in the present, hm?"

"I don't know what you're talking about," he muttered as he smiled sheepishly. "Come off it, I came out here to try to help you feel better, I don't know how we ended up here of all places."

I grinned, shaking my head. "Well, you succeeded. Thank you. I hope you feel better, too."

"Yeah, I do. Merlin, I'm going to miss you. You write me, you hear?"

"Every week," I replied with a grin. I grinned wider and winked. "You come and see me over summer in the joke shop, you hear?"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah," Henry said, his face reddening once again.

With that, we headed back to the castle, Tuck trotting alongside us. We parted ways in the entrance hall, and I climbed the stairs in higher spirits than I had descended them several hours prior. True to their word, Harry and Ginny were waiting in the dormitory, along with Lavender, Parvati, and, to my surprise, Hermione and Ron.

"Tuck!" Parvati and Lavender exclaimed in unison, dropping to their knees as he rushed over to receive all of their pets and kisses.

Heat rose to my cheeks as everyone else stared at me. "Well, there's not enough room up here for everyone to spend the night," I mumbled. "I'm okay, really."

"Don't even try it, Lucy," Ginny retorted with a roll of her eyes. "We're staying with you tonight. All of us."

"Sleepover in the common room?" Ron suggested.

"We could invite Neville and Dean and Seamus, too," I said. "Make it a fifth-years-plus-Ginny event."

Ginny beamed. "Brilliant. I call dibs on being next to you!"

"I get the other side," Harry piped up immediately. Then his face went red as he stammered, "If — you know — if that's what you want, I mean."

"Fine by me," I replied with a smile. "C'mon, let's start moving blankets and pillows. Not you two, though," I added, narrowing my eyes at Ron and Hermione, "you two can go ask the boys if they'd like to join us."

Within ten minutes, all ten of us had managed to comfortably fit in the common room. I was wedged between Harry and Ginny, with Tuck curled up at my feet instead of with his nose under my pillow because of the proximity of those two.

As soon as my head hit my pillow, I realized just how tired I was. Harry didn't miss it, propping himself up on an elbow as he studied me with something undeniably tender in his eyes.

"You did it," he whispered.

"Did what?" I asked.

He shrugged a bit. "You're still here. You made it."

"And we're all proud of you," Ginny added, also in a whisper, as she latched onto my arm and pulled herself closer to me.

Harry nodded his agreement. "Cedric would be proud too."

"I know," I whispered. For the first time all day, tears started to rise in my throat, but they weren't sad ones. I swallowed hard and looked away from Harry, toward the nearest window, and whispered to the stars. "I know."

~

Have I killed my thoughts right before their prime?
Have I bit my tongue one too many times?
Have I said it all the way I really meant to?
If I wait 'til my tomorrow comes
Is the waiting all I've ever done?
And will I get to
Get to know myself in the place I am
Get to fall in love with another man and understand
When you are younger
You'll wish you're older
Then when you're older
You'll wish for time to turn around
Don't let your wonder turn into closure
When you get older
When you get older

"Older"

Ben Platt

~

HENRY:

Graduation day dawned brilliantly yellow.

I was the first one awake in our dormitory, so I crept off to the bathroom and showered and changed into my robes as quietly as possible. We graduated in our normal school uniforms, but we were allowed to decorate our pointed hats however we wished. I spun mine in my hands a couple of times before putting it on my head, looking at every picture twice.

I had formed a collage from copied photographs. Of my family, of my friends. Of Cedric, of course.

Once I had donned my hat, I checked my trunk to make sure everything had been properly packed. Satisfied, I closed it up and lifted it onto my bed, still trying to be quiet, and slipped from the dormitory.

I had already walked around the castle by myself, saying goodbye to the memories that would always live within the walls of the castle. I had already said goodbye to Cedric's portrait in the middle of the night, knowing everyone would want to do it in the morning before heading down to the Great Hall for the graduation ceremony. I had already said lengthy goodbyes to Neville and to Archie and to everyone else that would be left behind; everyone except Lucy and Harry, that is, which is why I was walking out of the castle early enough to see the last yellow skies of the sunrise.

Our tree was strong as ever. I had barely visited it the past year, because the sting of it hurt too much. So many days had been spent with Cedric under that tree, doing homework, laughing, talking, doing nothing at all. It only felt right to leave my letters to him there, too.

I approached it slowly with a thick stack of parchment wedged under my arm. One by one, I fed each letter through the crack in the trunk, whispering a verbal letter as I waited for each to flutter all the way down.

"Saturday, June 29, 1996."

"Dear Cedric..."

"This isn't goodbye."

"I promise."

"I'm taking you with me."

"I'll always take you with me."

"I'll keep writing letters."

"I'll find a new way to... to send those. To use the term 'send' loosely."

"Today's graduation day."

"Tomorrow is everyone else's last day of school."

"We always planned to take the boat together, and I'm sticking to that plan."

"I hope you don't mind that I'll be the one steering it, though, seeing as you can't really do it yourself."

"But the other seat will be available for you. It wouldn't have felt right riding with anyone else."

"Your sister and Harry should be here soon."

"I figured Lucy deserved my final goodbye, and I figured Harry should be there too."

"I know I'm not you, but I am an older brother, so I think I have the authority to meddle a little bit. For Lucy's benefit, of course."

"Anyway, I'm sure they'll be perfectly alright without me here, since they have each other."

"I just worry. The world is getting so much darker."

"But we have each other. All of us D.A. members. We have each other, since we don't have you anymore."

"I miss you."

"I love you."

"Sincerely, Henry Benjamin Furls."

I dropped the final letter and turned around to see Lucy and Harry approaching from a distance. I waved, and they waved back.

"So, graduation day," Lucy said with a rather brave smile as she drew closer.

I nodded. "Graduation day."

"When's your first Magpies practice?" Harry asked, grinning.

"Monday," I replied with a snort. "I start right away."

"Brilliant," they said in unison.

I almost laughed, but then I remembered what else Monday was. "You'll be okay, right, Lucy?"

"Yeah." She nodded as Harry inched closer to her. "I'll be with the twins. They won't let anything happen to me."

"Fair enough. Anyway, this is for you—" I pressed a vial of silvery liquid into Harry's hand. "—and this is for you—" I pressed a vial into Lucy's hand. "—to view on your first day of sixth year."

Lucy furrowed her brow in confusion and looked at me for a couple of seconds with her mouth open before speaking. "That's... an oddly specific set of instructions for memories. How did you know how to do that, anyway?"

"I saw you do it in Professor McGonagall's office and it gave me an idea," I shrugged. "Consider it a parting gift of sorts. Trust me, it'll all make sense on September 1st. Anyway, I just wanted to let you two know that everything you did this year with the PVT and the DA was really neat and inspiring and all that, and if there's anything I can do to help either of you from Montrose, I'm just an owl away. And—"

Lucy sprang forward and hugged me, trembling a bit from suppressed sobs. I managed to catch her, and I noticed that Harry looked like he had known this was coming. He offered me a mildly amused look and glanced back at the back of Lucy's head with a contemplative and fiercely protective expression.

"Take care of each other," I said, giving Harry my best big-brother don't-you-dare-hurt-her-or-I'll-hurt-you face.

He understood the unspoken message, eyes widening a bit. I then offered him my best don't-be-an-idiot-and-say-you-love-her-already smile, and I watched with satisfaction as he glanced away with an embarrassed smile making his lips twitch upward.

"We will," Lucy said as she pulled away and wiped her cheeks with her sleeves. "Watch out for yourself, Henry. It's going to be dangerous out there."

I grinned. "Well, good thing I was taught by the best DADA professors around, then. You two are going to be great, I just know it. Come see a match sometime, yeah?"

They both smiled at that and nodded. With that, we started heading back to the castle, and they peppered me with questions about my Quidditch schedule — training, practices, matches, travel — the whole way back. Once there, we went our separate ways after Lucy hugged me one more time, and I joined the line of Hufflepuffs and waited to enter the Great Hall for the ceremony.

"You going to be okay, Henry?"

I blinked and turned to Emily, smiling a bit as I nodded. "Yeah, I think so. You?"

"I think so," she replied. "Thanks for being my prefect partner this year."

"Thanks for helping me figure out how to do it."

We hugged briefly, and before we knew it, it was time to walk in.

I knew my parents and sister would be there, of course, possibly with a couple of my cousins as well. No one from Hogwarts was required to attend, but I knew the younger members of the DA were going to be there to send us old folks off.

I wasn't expecting to see Fred and George Weasley there, though, sitting on either side of Lucy, who was beaming at me with a mischievous twinkle in her eyes. Fred's eyes were elsewhere, looking at Angelina I figured, but George was looking right at me. I waved at the three, praying I wasn't blushing noticeably, and turned to look for my family.

There was an empty seat between Emily and me where a framed picture of Cedric sat. I looked at it for a long second, tears beginning to pool in my eyes.

I was immensely glad I had opted out of giving a speech when Professor Sprout had asked if that was something I would be interested in doing.

I was okay. I would be okay. But that didn't mean it would be easy to get through the ceremony knowing who should have been sitting next to me.

I did get through the ceremony, though. Cedric was mentioned a number of times in the speeches given, but the ceremony largely focused on those of us who were still there. When it was my turn to accept my diploma at the front of the room, I couldn't help but notice just how loud the room was cheering.

The rest of the ceremony passed in the blink of an eye. We were all given twenty minutes to meet at the boats, so I had about ten minutes to say final goodbyes and get down there on time.

Gretch reached me first, latching herself onto my waist and begging me not to go, and I comforted her as best as I could by reminding her that I would be at home with her while I looked for a flat of my own. My parents were shortly behind her, hugging me from the side so they didn't squish her entirely.

"We'll meet you on the other side of the lake!" my dad called above the sound of the chaos that was hundreds of people crammed into the Great Hall. "C'mon, Gretch, let's let Henry say goodbye to his friends!"

I waved as they started working their way through the crowd, distracted enough to not see him coming before it was too late.

"I'm glad someone graduated so we had an excuse to come back!" George shouted in my ear as he practically tackled me with a hug. "Well done, mate! Smashing performance, really! I was worried you'd trip on the stage and humiliate yourself in your final moments as a Hogwarts student, but you avoided that tragic fate!"

"Oh, piss off," I muttered, hugging him back. "Welcome back, mate, did you see the part of your swamp Flitwick roped off?"

George let go, grinning widely. "Nope! I'll be sure to take a look on the way out, though. Anyway, here." He pressed a scrap of parchment into my hand and closed my fingers around it. "Realized I never gave you a joke shop address. Come visit over summer!"

"He better!" Lucy said from behind him. "He said he would!"

Somehow, impossibly, George's grin widened. "Brilliant! Well, I should go congratulate my other Gryffindor mates before you all depart for the boats, but I will see you soon, Mr. Magpie!"

And just like that, George clapped me on the shoulder one more time and disappeared.

Lucy was still looking at me with an impish smile. "Surprise!"

"Come here," I said, yanking her into a hug and picking her up off the ground — she had grown, she was taller, but she wasn't tall by any means. "You're a proper little menace, but I love you."

"I love you too," she replied.

"Stay out of too much trouble, okay?"

"I make no promises." I set her down, and her smile became less devilish and more sincere. "But I'll try. See you later, Henry."

"See you later, Lucy."

I was stopped a dozen more times on my way out of the Great Hall, but I eventually caught up with Martin and Emily and we started hurrying down toward the Black Lake, knowing we were almost late.

My boat was easy to find, because it was the one at the front of the pack with a picture frame already in it. It was another picture of Cedric, of course.

I stepped inside with shaking legs, and once I was settled, the boat magically led itself into the water and started out across the lake.

"Well, Cedric," I whispered to the sun, "we came over together on a boat. It seems only fitting I take you with me as I leave, too."

I'm okay. I'm going to be okay.

I glanced behind me to look at all of our friends, following me. I turned back to face the opposite shore, a smile on my face as the sun glittered on the water.

We're okay. We're going to be okay.