HARRY:

After New Year's, the mood around 12 Grimmauld Place steadily declined. The thought of the holidays ending was not a happy thought for anyone. For Sirius, it meant being alone again. For those of us returning to Hogwarts, it meant Umbridge again. For us fifth-years in particular, it meant O.W.L.s were rapidly approaching. And, of course, for everyone who knew about Lucy and/or Remus it meant the full moon Sunday night.

Saturday afternoon, the room I shared with Ron was quite the hub of activity. He was beating me at wizard's chess in one corner of the room, Ginny and Fred were smacking a Bludger back and forth in another corner of the room, Hermione was sprawled on Ron's bed with her nose buried in a book, and George was keeping Crookshanks entertained with a floating ball of yarn. Lucy was sitting cross-legged on my bed watching everything, safely within the protective confines of a silencing charm so she could be with us without being overwhelmed by the noise of so much going on at once.

I was about to take one of Ron's pieces when Mrs. Weasley stuck her head in the room.

"Harry dear, could you come down to the kitchen? Professor Snape would like a word with you."

"Snape?" I repeated after a moment.

"Professor Snape, dear. Now come on, quickly, he says he can't stay long."

I bit back a groan and followed her from the room, wondering what on earth I had done to earn the displeasure of Snape hunting me down specifically. When I reached the kitchen, he and Sirius were sitting on opposite ends of the table, refusing to look at each other. It might have been funny if I didn't feel such a sense of disgust and dread just looking at Snape's greasy black hair and the cruel eyes in the middle of the mop.

"Sit down, Potter," Snape said as I entered the room.

Sirius leaned back in his chair and stared at the ceiling. "You know, I think I'd prefer it if you didn't give orders here, Snape. It's my house, you see."

Just the same, I lowered myself into a chair next to Sirius and watched with a small amount of amusement as Snape's pale face flushed with anger.

"I was supposed to see you alone, Potter, but Black—"

"I'm his godfather," Sirius interrupted.

"I am here on Dumbledore's orders, but by all means stay, Black, I know you like to feel... involved."

Sirius looked at Snape for the first time, loudly putting all four legs of his chair on the ground. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"Merely that I am sure you must feel — ah — frustrated by the fact that you can do nothing useful for the Order." I opened my mouth to defend Sirius, but Snape continued before I got the chance. "The headmaster has sent me to tell you, Potter, that it is his wish for you to study Occlumency this term."

"Study what?" I asked.

"Occlumency, Potter. The magical defense of the mind against external penetration. An obscure branch of magic, but a highly useful one."

I froze. I thought I wasn't being possessed. "Why do I have to study Occlu — thing?"

"Because the headmaster thinks it a good idea. You will receive private lessons once a week, but you will not tell anybody what you are doing, least of all Dolores Umbridge. You understand?"

"Yes. Who's going to be teaching me?"

"I am," he replied as if that should have been obvious.

No. No. No. No. I looked desperately at Sirius.

He was already a step ahead of me. "Why can't Dumbledore teach Harry? Why you?"

"I suppose because it is a headmaster's privilege to delegate less enjoyable tasks. I assure you I did not beg for the job. I will expect you at six o'clock on Monday evening, Potter. My office. If anybody asks, you are taking Remedial Potions. Nobody who has seen you in my classes could deny you need them."

At that point, he got up to leave, but Sirius held up a finger. "Wait a minute."

Snape sneered, his signature look. "I am in rather a hurry, Black... unlike you, I do not have unlimited leisure time."

"In that case, I'll get right to the point. If I hear you're using these Occlumency lessons to give Harry a hard time, you'll have me to answer to."

"How touching, but surely you have noticed that Potter is very like his father?"

Sirius nodded, and I think I heard pride in his voice as he said, "Yes, I have."

"Well then, you'll know he's so arrogant that criticism simply bounces off him."

Before I could say anything in my own defense, Sirius was on his feet, wand in hand, rushing toward Snape, who also drew his wand.

"Sirius, it's fine, I'm used to it by now!" I protested, but he either didn't hear me or didn't care.

"I've warned you, Snivellus, I don't care if Dumbledore thinks you've reformed, I know better—"

"Oh, but why don't you tell him so? Or are you afraid he might not take the advice of a man who has been hiding inside his mother's house for six months very seriously?"

"Tell me, how is Lucius Malfoy these days? I expect he's delighted his lapdog's working at Hogwarts, isn't he?"

"Speaking of dogs, did you know that Lucius Malfoy recognized you last time you risked a little jaunt outside? Clever idea, Black, getting yourself seen on a safe station platform. Gave you a cast-iron excuse not to leave your hidey-hole in future, didn't it?"

With that, Sirius lifted his wand.

I jumped up, throwing myself between the two. "NO! Sirius, don't—"

"Are you calling me a coward?" he shouted at Snape as he tried to shove me out of the way.

"Why, yes, I suppose I am."

"Harry," Sirius panted, "get out of it!"

Before a spell could be fired, though, the kitchen door opened, and a very-happy crowd of Weasleys entered, Mr. Weasley at the center of it all.

"Cured! Completely cured!" he declared with a wide smile that disappeared as soon as he saw the frozen almost-duel in the middle of the room. "Merlin's beard. What's going on here?"

Both Sirius and Snape lowered their wands, but they continued to glare at each other for another moment before Snape headed toward the back door without acknowledging the Weasleys.

"Six o'clock Monday evening, Potter," he said as he swept from the room.

As soon as Snape was gone, Sirius turned to Mr. Weasley and forced a smile. "So you're cured? That's great news, really great!"

Mrs. Weasley nodded enthusiastically and ushered him into a chair. "Yes, isn't it? Healer Smethwyck worked his magic in the end, found an antidote to whatever that snake's got in its fangs, and Arthur's learned his lesson about dabbling in Muggle medicine, haven't you, dear?"

"Yes, Molly dear," he replied, wilting a bit under her gaze.

At the mention of Muggle medicine, I looked around for Lucy. She was already looking at me, trying to catch my eye, so when we made eye contact, she jerked her head backward and ducked from the room. I followed after her, all the way up to Buckbeak's room.

"I heard everything," she said softly as she reached for another goblet of wolfsbane. "Hermione and I eavesdropped while the others went to greet their dad. Snape's vile."

"Yeah, he is," I agreed in a voice as soft as hers. I had noticed that she always spoke softer as the moon got closer, as her hearing grew more sensitive, and I tried to mirror whatever she was doing so I didn't overwhelm her.

She didn't sit in the window seat that night, instead pacing back and forth as the goblet trembled in her hands. "The idea of Occlumency is an interesting one."

"What do you know about Occlumency? Anything worth sharing before I start at six o'clock Monday evening?" I asked in my best Snape impression.

"Mum taught Cedric and me a few tips for Occlumency," she replied. "Mum was an Auror for years, and being both an Occlumens and Legilimens helped her quite a bit. I know Snape is good at both, Mum told us he was, but I can't for the life of me understand why Dumbledore can't be bothered to do it himself given how easily Snape could abuse his power during these 'lessons' with you."

"Any chance you could teach me instead?"

Lucy laughed humorlessly. "I wish. My Occlumency is, ah, temperamental. I'm not the best at turning my emotions off, in case you hadn't noticed by now."

"Well, no need to change that," I said. "It was alarming over summer when you were bottling everything up."

"Yeah, well, it didn't work, not even a little bit, so I hope I learned my lesson," she replied, smiling sheepishly. She looked out the window and paced a couple more times back and forth before lifting the goblet from her lips.

I could only imagine how nasty wolfsbane tasted given how nasty it smelled, but she powered through it once again. She inhaled slowly through her nose once it was gone.

"I don't want to go down quite yet," Lucy said as she resumed the pacing, "but you go ahead. I just want to burn off a bit of energy before being around people again, especially since I won't have the silencing charm."

"I'm still angry with Snape, so I have a bit of energy to burn off, too," I muttered. "Mind if I join you in the pacing?"

She grinned, looking at me uncertainly. "You want to join me in the pacing?"

As an answer, I fell into step with her. When we got to the part where we changed direction, though, we bumped right into each other, so I hurried to the other end of the room and started walking toward her. We met in the middle of the room, did our handshake, paced back to the wall, turned around, met in the middle of the room again, and repeated the process for a couple of minutes, both glad for a moment of relative peace and rhythm and solitude before heading back downstairs.

Quite the crowd had arrived to congratulate Mr. Weasley on his recovery, so I didn't get the chance to talk to Sirius and tell him to ignore Snape's deliberate goading. After dinner, he retired to Buckbeak's room, and Mad-Eye pulled Lucy into the sitting room to talk to her about something, so Ron and Hermione flagged me down and we gathered at one end of the table while the Weasleys talked to Tonks at the other end.

"Hermione already explained what Dumbledore wants," Ron said in a low voice. "What do you think about all of it?"

"I'd be lying if I said I was thrilled," I muttered.

Hermione shot me a disapproving look. "Dumbledore wants to stop you having those dreams about Voldemort. Well, you won't be sorry not to have them anymore, will you?"

"Extra lessons with Snape? I'd rather have the nightmares!" Ron said with a shake of his head.

"Unfortunately, I don't think I have a choice." I sighed. "I mean, not like I have to worry about balancing Quidditch with it or anything, thanks to Umbridge. Maybe I should mention these lessons so she puts me back on the team."

That earned me a snicker from Ron and another disapproving look from Hermione, so I knew I had said the right thing. When Mad-Eye returned without Lucy a couple minutes later and shot the three of us a knowing look, we jumped up and made our way to the room where they had been talking.

"Everything alright, Lucy?" Ron asked. "What did Moody have to say?"

"Everything's fine," she replied though that was clearly not the case. She was pacing again, cracking her knuckles one by one, ponytail whipping behind her every time she changed direction. She rambled as she paced, words pouring from her in a quiet yet rapid stream. "He just wanted to ask about the full moon, see how I was doing, ask if there was anything he could do to help. Offered to take me home if there was something I wanted to grab from there that might help. He mentioned that he wanted to try to find the wolfsbane potion that didn't make me sick, whatever I had when I was a kid that my dad got, but apparently specifics of the ingredients or process were never discussed so he hasn't had any luck yet. Said something about wanting to figure out a secretive way to communicate during the school year since he's my legal guardian now and all."

Hermione stepped forward and laid a hand on Lucy's arm to try to stop the pacing, but Lucy shook her off and began pacing even faster.

"Didn't realize how much going outside helped until I couldn't. Wandering around the house at night isn't the same. No fresh air, no stars. Have to be careful, since not everyone knows. Hard to be careful with the wolfsbane, too, I feel worse than usual. Sleep would be wonderful, but that would be impossible. Oh, the twins and Ginny are coming, I hear them."

"Sleep would be impossible, eh?" Fred challenged as he strode through the door, followed by George and Ginny.

Lucy nodded. "I suppose you could Stun me if you wanted, that might do the trick, but I don't mind being awake all night, honestly, it's not like it would be the first time."

"You think we'd Stun you?" George asked incredulously.

"Just an idea," she replied with a shrug. "Reckon it'd work."

"Well, how about we try this first? Catch!"

He tossed a purple candy to Lucy, which she snatched from the air with ease even as she continued pacing.

"What are you going to dare me to do?" she asked, twirling it in her fingers with a puzzled expression.

"Just trust us, Cub," George replied. "It will probably work better if you aren't expecting it."

"Alright." Lucy tossed the candy into her mouth and chewed a couple of times. "Now what?"

"Go lie down on the sofa."

She did so quickly, looking back and forth between the twins with a perfect mixture of curiosity and suspicion.

Fred tossed her a second candy, which she also consumed. He grinned. "Sleep, Lucy."

"There's no way that would—" Hermione's protest died on her lips as Lucy's eyes began to sink shut.

"You two are ridiculous, but brilliant," Lucy mumbled as she curled up on her side and let her eyes close the rest of the way.

We waited a couple of seconds, then all sighed with relief when the tension in her shoulders loosened a bit and she inhaled deeply. A flick of George's wand erected a silencing charm.

Fred laughed. "Ridiculous, but brilliant. I can't disagree with that."

"I suppose we'll have to save the Fainting Fancy for next month," George remarked, pulling the orange and yellow candy from his pocket. "I'm pleasantly surprised the dare candy did the trick. Well, she shouldn't sleep down here when her bed would be much more comfortable, so I'm going to need one or two people to hold doors open while everyone else makes sure Mum stays in the kitchen. I don't expect she'd be thrilled to know we magically drugged Lucy to get her to sleep, especially considering she doesn't know why and doesn't need to know why."

None of us had any objection to that, so Ginny and I stayed with George while the other three returned to the kitchen.

"Didn't exactly think about pajamas," Ginny commented once George had laid Lucy on her bed. "At least my Harpies jumper is comfortable."

I reached forward and rested a hand on Lucy's forehead. Burning, as usual. "Any chance you've got a — oh, I don't know — Hypothermia Hokum in the works?"

"That's a lovely name for it, I'll tell Fred," George chuckled. "The answer is yes, but, er, Fred and I are still working out the kinks. We don't want to give it to her until we're sure it's safe."

"Well, that's fair," I replied. "How are the Fever Fudges coming along? Any chance those are an option Monday morning, to balance it out?"

"The boils are smaller, but they still show up, so maybe by February."

"Boils?" Ginny repeated with a disgusted look. "You know what, I don't need to know. I'll stay up here just to make sure she stays asleep, I still have a couple dare gummies in my trunk leftover from the night I played with the girls in my dorm. Cowards, they only wanted truth."

George and I snorted our amusement as we left the room. The rest of the night passed quietly, all of us dreading the arrival of the morning. Just the same, though, it was nice to know that Lucy was asleep, at least for that one night.

It was nice to know she was safe. Especially considering the fact safety would be no guarantee the next night.

I just hoped the wolfsbane would do its job.

~

The next morning was rushed and a tad frantic. We had to get to Hogwarts well before the full moon.

After breakfast, we were immediately assaulted with jackets and mittens and scarves and hats. Lucy pulled everything on that was handed to her, but as she walked past me to get out the door, she muttered that she was taking everything off the second we set foot on the Knight Bus. She had slept through the night, to everyone's relief, but it was still the day of the full moon so she was on edge and trying not to act like it.

Sirius pulled me aside just before we left and shoved a package roughly the size and shape of a book into my hands. "I want you to take this."

"What is it?" I asked as I turned it over in my hands.

"A way of letting me know if Snape's giving you a hard time. No, don't open it in here! I doubt Molly would approve — but I want you to use it if you need me, alright?"

No. Never. I refuse to be the reason you leave this place, your one safe space, no matter how awful Snape is.

But I didn't say any of this. Instead, I nodded. "Okay."

"Let's go, then," Sirius said with a strained grin.

I tried to hang back another second, tried to tell Sirius not to let what Snape had said bother him, but I didn't get the chance because I was being shuffled out the door.

"Good-bye, Harry, take care!" Mrs. Weasley exclaimed as she hugged me.

Mr. Weasley winked. "See you Harry, and keep an eye out for snakes for me!"

"Right, yeah, I will," I replied, still trying to say one last thing to Sirius. I had a bad feeling about this parting. I had to say something.

I didn't get the chance.

"Look after yourself, Harry," he said as he pulled me to him with a quick hug.

Before I could say anything else, I was outside and the door was closing.

"Come on, the quicker we get on the bus the better," Tonks said, dragging me along with the others.

Even before the bus appeared, Lucy began frantically loosening the scarf around her neck. I shoved the package from Sirius into my trunk, promising myself one last time I'd never use it no matter how bad the Occlumency lessons were, and hurried forward to help.

"I can finally breathe again," she whispered with a small smile as she whipped the scarf off and started tugging off her mittens.

The Knight Bus appeared a less than a minute later with a bang.

Stan Shunpike leaned forward out of the door and grinned. "Welcome to the—"

"Yes, yes, we know, thank you, on, on, get on," Tonks said as she grabbed me by the shoulder of my robes and practically threw me forward.

"Oi, it's Harry—"

"If you shout his name, I will curse you into oblivion," Tonks interrupted.

Wisely, he fell silent as everyone else jumped onto the bus behind me.

Tonks surveyed the seating arrangement. "Looks like we'll have to split up. Fred, George, Lucy, and Ginny, if you just take those seats at the back, Remus can stay with you. You three, come with me."

"I've always wanted to go on this thing," Ron said with no small amount of enthusiasm as we took our seats on the top deck toward the back.

Hermione, sitting with Tonks at the front of the bus, looked significantly less enthusiastic, since she had ridden the bus once before. I offered her an encouraging look as the journey began with another loud bang.

Merlin, I hope someone put a silencing charm up for Lucy. This makes MY ears hurt.

Six loud bangs later, Ron had decided he had enough. "I've changed my mind. I never want to ride on here again."

Fortunately, we had finally arrived in Hogsmeade. As soon as it stopped again, with a seventh loud bang, Tonks gestured for us to get off.

Once we had all piled off, Tonks looked around. "You'll be safe once you're in the grounds. Have a good term, okay?"

"Look after yourselves," Remus said. Once he'd said goodbye to everyone else except Lucy and me, he pulled us aside and looked me in the eye. "Harry, I know you don't like Snape, but he is a superb Occlumens and we all — Sirius included — want you to learn to protect yourself, so work hard, alright?"

I nodded, dread making my head feel heavy. "Yeah, alright, I will."

"You two watch out for each other," he said softly, placing one hand on my shoulder and one on Lucy's. "Keep doing what you've been doing with your DADA club, and for the love of Merlin be careful. Whether the world knows it or not, it's watching you two. Do your best not to give anyone a chance to demonize you, Dolores Umbridge least of all. I fear we haven't yet seen the worst of her."

Lucy reached forward to hug Remus, and I got the feeling that Remus was warning us about much more than Dumbledore's Army or Dolores Umbridge. Once Lucy let go, Remus shook my hand, and we joined the others for our trek to the castle.

"We should move quickly," Lucy said as we jogged to catch up to the others. "I'd rather not be apprehended by the Pink Fink while I'm on the brink of exploding as is."

"Putting one of Remus's nicknames to good use already, are you?" Fred asked.

"What can I say, I'm a sucker for a rhyme scheme," she replied, hurrying forward.

I laughed. "It does have a nice ring to it."

We all spent the afternoon in Gryffindor Tower. I suggested heading down to dinner on the early side, hoping Lucy could eat before the full moon, but just before we reached the Great Hall, she snagged me by the elbow and pulled me back.

"I'm going to go see Hagrid, actually," she said.

"Aren't you hungry?" I asked.

She shook her head. "Not with wolfsbane."

"But you've been—"

Lucy glanced at Ginny behind her, who bit the inside of her cheek as she looked back at me.

"Oh."

"I want to go see Tuck anyway," Lucy said. "And he has the... you know. For tonight."

"You're—" I dropped my voice werewolf-low. "You're transforming in the forest?"

She shrugged. "It's the best option, since Hagrid has the wolfsbane. I'll stay on the edge and sleep, it's as easy as that. Loads easier than the last full moon I had with wolfsbane," she added with the shadow of a smile, "where there were two Harrys and two Hermiones running around."

"Right."

"Well... see you tomorrow, Harry."

"Oh, no, it's okay, I'll go with you," I said. "I can eat later."

Ginny shook her head. "It's okay, I'm heading down with her."

"You are?" Lucy asked, turning to her.

"Yeah, figured it was my turn, Harry's done it for a while now."

"We could both go—" I started to say, but Ginny kept talking. She seemed oddly jumpy.

"I promise I'll take care of her," she said with an earnest look my direction. "I just thought, well, I could take a turn, and we shouldn't both go down because it would attract too much attention. Or, well, maybe you could come down in the morning. O-Or something like that."

Lucy glanced between the two of us, biting her lip. "I don't have strong feelings one way or the other, I just need to head down there. You can both stay, too—"

"No," we said in unison.

I shrugged. Ginny seemed a tad desperate. She wasn't like that often, so I figured it was safe to assume it was for a good reason. "You can go if you want, Ginny. We can alternate."

Ginny looked for a moment as if she had something else to say, but she seemed to think better of it. "Works for me. Now come on, we should head down."

"Bye, Harry," Lucy said, hugging me quickly, too quickly, before following Ginny down the corridor.

"Be safe," I whispered after her. I knew she would hear me.

~

Ginny watched as Lucy hurried down to the Forbidden Forest.

"Go once she gets a bit deeper," Hagrid said from behind her. "Yeh can transform just inside the treeline. She has the wolfsbane, but don't turn back ter human until she does in the morning. Somethin' tells me she'd run if she knew it was you an' not just a horse in the forest."

Ginny nodded. "Got it."

"Good luck, Ginny. Yeh've got real nerve, doin' this. It's great."

"How much nerve does it really take when it's the right thing to do?"

With that, Ginny took off running. As soon as she found a patch of trees that offered her adequate cover, she transformed from a red-haired, freckle-faced girl of average height to a majestic white horse with a sprinkling of black spots in a pattern resembling her freckles. She'd slipped away from the castle a couple of times already, just to test it out, but this was the real deal. The moon would come out any minute, and when it did, she would be ready.

She was worried that she wouldn't be able to find Lucy since she hadn't followed her into the forest, but she realized all at once that wasn't going to be a concern.

A blood-curdling scream split the night.

Terrified that something had happened already, she sprinted as fast as her four clumsy legs could carry her in the direction of the sound as the screaming continued. She arrived on the scene just as the screams morphed into howls.

Lucy, or what was left of her, was writhing on the ground, contorting in unnatural ways, howling in pain. After a couple more long howls, the transformation was complete, and the wolf lay on its side, completely still save the labored rise and fall of its chest.

Ginny the horse trotted forward, nudging the wolf with gentle concern. The wolf lifted its head and studied the horse for a minute before riding shakily to its feet as if to demonstrate that it was okay.

The wolf started pacing back and forth, and Ginny realized that the wolfsbane must have worked. Surely enough, when the wolf swiveled its head to look at her, it was Lucy's eyes she saw.

Ginny tossed her head and trotted in a circle, trying to figure out how to best challenge Lucy to a game without speaking at all. Lucy merely watched her, confused yet amused by the completely bizarre behavior for a horse.

Eventually, after quite the round of four-legged charades, Ginny was able to communicate that she wanted to challenge Lucy to a race around the forest. Lucy was clearly still suffering from being cooped up in Grimmauld Place, and what better way to beat cabin fever (or mansion fever, as the case had been) than by racing around the Forbidden Forest on a cold winter night?

In the end, Lucy won the race. Ginny was simply too clumsy still on her legs, but she made a mental note to sneak out and practice more often so she could beat Lucy by the next full moon.

After a bit more pacing, the wolf settled down to sleep, curling up into a tight ball. Once the wolf's chest was rising and falling steadily, Ginny the horse wrapped herself gently around the wolf to keep her warm. Though she didn't drop off to sleep quite as quickly, eventually she did, and they both slept clear to sunrise.

~

I hurried down to Hagrid's just after sunrise the next morning.

"Oh, hello Harry!" he said cheerfully as he let me in. "I'll pour yeh a cup of tea, too."

I glanced at the table. "Er, Hagrid, there are three already."

"I made cups fer Ginny an' Lucy an' myself already, but—" He passed me a fourth. "—here's yours!"

"Ginny?" I repeated. "I thought she was just walking Lucy down last night."

Hagrid cocked his head at me. "She didn't tell yeh?"

Before I could ask what on earth he was on about, the door to Hagrid's hut opened, and Ginny and Lucy both stumbled inside.

"You have half a tree in your hair," Lucy mumbled, reaching up to pull a rather large stick out of Ginny's hair before tossing it into the fire.

"I happen to be a lot taller than you are," she replied brightly. "I'll learn to duck out of the way of trees eventually. Good morning, Hagrid, good morning, Harry! Come on, you, sit."

Lucy complied, collapsing onto Hagrid's oversized sofa and cradling her head in her hands. Tuck immediately jumped up next to her and started shoving at her with his nose and licking her face, but I tore my eyes away to stare at Ginny.

"You... were with her?" I asked.

She beamed. "Yeah. I finally got a lightning storm, just before the holidays. I'm an Animagus now."

I blinked a couple of times, looking from Ginny to Lucy and back again. "You are?"

"You bet! A white horse, specifically, hence the branch in my hair. Since Lucy had wolfsbane, I didn't have to help much. We chased each other a bit, but we do that often enough in human form anyway, so it was a lot like any other night. Reckon we fell asleep on the edge of the forest an hour before midnight and slept clear through to sunrise! We would have been here a bit sooner, but Lucy had a couple of questions so we laid on the forest floor for a bit while she caught her breath and I caught her up to speed. Anyway, since you're here, I'm going to head up and shower and get wideye potion for us both. See you soon!"

And with that, she disappeared into the misty morning. I stared at the door for a couple of seconds, mind spinning. No wonder Ginny had been so jittery the night before, she was worried about transforming during a full moon with Lucy for the first time, and judging by Lucy's confusion 12 hours prior and the distress on her face as I studied her in the firelight, she hadn't known Ginny was an Animagus until she'd transformed.

An Animagus. Ginny. Why didn't I think of that?

"How are you feelin', Lucy?" Hagrid asked, passing her a cup of tea.

"Thanks," she said, her voice soft and raspy the way it always was after a full moon. She shook her head and took a sip of tea to avoid answering for another couple of seconds. "I noticed Ginny was a bit more jumpy and clingy than usual, but I didn't think..."

"Who else knew?" I asked. "I didn't."

"Only Sirius, Professor McGonagall, and George, I think. I don't know. Maybe Remus or Alastor too." Lucy sighed. "I was a bit distracted by the white horse that had been playing with me all of a sudden becoming a nearly-hysterical Ginny."

"Nearly hysterical? Ginny? I've only ever seen her like that after the Chamber of Secrets incident."

Lucy shrugged, but I could tell from the way she still hadn't met my eyes that there was a lot happening beneath the surface.

Hagrid clapped his hands together. "Is this the new routine, then? Wolfsbane an' Ginny as a horse?"

"I'm not sure," Lucy whispered. "I suppose I'll have to find a way to write someone about it. I really hope not."

"Why not?"

She lifted the cup to her lips, muffling her already-soft voice to the point I almost couldn't make out what she said. "Dangerous." She downed the rest of the cup in a couple of swallows, then pushed herself off the couch.

I drank my tea while I told Hagrid a bit about our Christmas and Lucy dozed with Tuck on the sofa, and we made our way up to the castle after a little while. Just before we got to the portrait hole, Lucy reached forward and grabbed my hand.

"Harry?"

I turned to face her, wrapping my warm fingers around her cold ones. "Mhm?"

"I know that look. Don't go there."

"What look?" I asked, afraid I understood perfectly well what she meant. "Go where?"

"Don't even think about doing it too," she whispered.

I sighed. "Lucy—"

"Don't," she interrupted, voice cracking. "Please don't. Just — keep being you. You're enough, I promise, just the way you are."

"But I—"

"Don't. Please." Lucy shook her head, dropped my hand, muttered the password, and climbed through the portrait hole. I followed a couple of seconds later, making a mental note to try to bring this up again later when she didn't look so depressed and exhausted. She disappeared up the stairs to get ready for the day, leaving me alone in the common room with Ginny (who was looking rather apprehensively at the wideye potion in her hand) and her brothers (who were all looking at her with various degrees of surprise, confusion, and pride).

"I don't know how she does it," Ginny muttered before throwing back the vial. She gagged as she pulled it away, shaking her head back and forth and sticking the cork back in the top. "That's going to need to make my eyes wide enough for the day, that's disgusting."

"I don't know how she does it either," George said with a brief but loaded look at Fred before he looked back at Ginny.

"Yeah, Gin, are you alright?" Fred asked, the question as brief and loaded as the look from George had been.

Ginny nodded. "It's not me I'm worried about. D'you think she's upset with me?"

"Not upset," I said immediately. "Not with you. Just worried."

"Well, we all know she worries too much," Ron piped up. "It's just a question of which one of us does it next, isn't it?"

"She won't stand for it." Ginny shook her head. "I did it secretly for a reason. She's not going to let anyone else do it, and now she's going to be on the alert for any Mandrake leaves."

"That won't stop us from doing it after we graduate," George commented. "Merlin, I can't believe we didn't think of this sooner, for helping her or for pranks. I mean, Merlin, imagine the prank potential!"

"I'd love to be able to sneak up behind people and turn into a cow," Fred replied, making us all laugh.

Lucy appeared a few minutes later. We all exchanged looks when she downed the wideye potion effortlessly, but even more concerning than that was the way she kept refusing to meet anyone's eyes. I was so worried for her I forgot about Occlumency with Snape until Zacharias Smith cornered us in the corridor after lunch and asked when the next D.A. meeting would be.

"Lucy and I will let you know when the next one is, but we can't do it tonight because I've got to go to — er — Remedial Potions."

He raised his eyebrows in disbelief. "You take Remedial Potions? Sweet Merlin, you must be terrible, Snape doesn't usually give extra lessons, does he?" With that, he walked away, chuckling to himself.

"Shall I jinx him?" Ron whipped out his wand and pointed it at the back of Smith's head. "I can still get him from here."

I sighed. "Forget it. It's what everyone's going to think, isn't it? That I'm really stu—"

"Hi, Harry," a voice behind me interrupted.

I turned around instantly, nerves making everything within me tense. "Oh, hi, Cho."

"We'll be in the library, Harry," Hermione said as she grabbed Lucy and Ron by the elbows.

Lucy shook free. "Actually, I'm going to go find Ginny."

"Suit yourself!"

They headed off in two different directions, and just like that, Cho and I were alone.

"Had a good Christmas?" she asked.

"Yeah, not bad. Er, you?"

A flush began to crawl into her cheeks. "Mine was pretty quiet. Er, there's another Hogsmeade trip next month, did you see the notice?"

"What? Oh no, I haven't checked the notice board since I got back."

"Yes, it's on Valentine's Day."

"Right." I cleared my throat. She must just want to know about the next D.A. meeting, so I don't know why she's telling me about Hogsmeade... "Well, I suppose you want to—?"

She smiled. "Only if you do!"

I blinked. "I, er—"

"Oh, it's okay if you don't, don't worry, I — I'll see you around."

She hurried away, looking rather embarrassed. I was confused a moment longer, then suddenly realized what she had in mind.

"Cho! Hey — Cho!" Once I caught up to her, I placed my hands in my pockets and rocked back and forth a couple of times. "Er — d'you want to come into Hogsmeade with me on Valentine's Day?"

"Ooh, yes!" she exclaimed, smiling wide.

I nodded, relieved I had finally figured it out. "Right, well, that's settled then."

Before either of us could say anything further, there was an indignant squawk down the hallway. "WHO TIED MY SHOELACES TOGETHER? AAAHHH!"

Cho and I both wheeled around just as Zacharias Smith toppled over onto the stone floor, bats flying all around his face, his shoelaces in fact knotted together. Everyone around him laughed, but I could see just past the crowd the flash of two ponytails disappearing around a corner, one red and one brown.

I couldn't stop myself from joining in on the laughter. Ginny and Lucy would be just fine.

~

Not even the triumph of asking Cho out for the first time could cheer me up in the face of my first Occlumency lesson. I steeled my nerves with a deep breath and entered, trying to remind myself that everyone wanted me to learn this and no matter how bad it was, I couldn't involve Sirius at all.

"Shut the door behind you, Potter," Snape drawled.

I did so reluctantly before taking a seat across the desk from him.

"Well, Potter, you know why you are here. The headmaster has asked me to teach you Occlumency. I can only hope that you prove more adept at it than Potions."

I clenched my jaw. "Right."

"This may not be an ordinary class, Potter, but I am still your teacher and you will therefore call me 'sir' or 'Professor' at all times."

"Yes... sir."

"Now, Occlumency. As I told you back in your dear godfather's kitchen, this branch of magic seals the mind against magical intrusion and influence."

"And why does Professor Dumbledore think I need it, sir?"

"Surely even you could have worked that out by now, Potter? The Dark Lord is highly skilled at Legilimency—"

"What's that? Sir? Lucy mentioned it, her mum was good at it too, but I didn't ask."

"It is the ability to extract feelings and memories from another person's mind—"

Dread slammed through me. "He can read minds?"

"You have no subtlety, Potter. You do not understand fine distinctions. It is one of the shortcomings that makes you such a lamentable potion-maker. Only Muggles talk of 'mind reading.' The mind is not a book, to be opened at will and examined at leisure. Thoughts are not etched on the inside of skulls, to be perused by any invader. The mind is a complex and many-layered thing, Potter... or at least, most minds are. It is true, however, that those who have mastered Legilimency are able, under certain conditions, to delve into the minds of their victims and to interpret their findings correctly. The Dark Lord, for instance, almost always knows when somebody is lying to him. Only those skilled at Occlumency are able to shut down those feelings and memories that contradict the lie, and so utter falsehoods in his presence without detection."

"So he could know what we're thinking right now?" I asked hesitantly. "Sir?"

"The Dark Lord is at a considerable distance and the walls and grounds of Hogwarts are guarded by many ancient spells and charms to ensure the bodily and mental safety of those who dwell within them. Time and space matter in magic, Potter. Eye contact is often essential to Legilimency."

"Well then, why do I have to learn Occlumency?"

"The usual rules do not seem to apply with you, Potter. The curse that failed to kill you seems to have forged some kind of connection between you and the Dark Lord. The evidence suggests that at times, when your mind is most relaxed and vulnerable — when you are asleep, for instance — you are sharing the Dark Lord's thoughts and emotions. The headmaster thinks it inadvisable for this to continue. He wishes me to teach you how to close your mind to the Dark Lord."

"But why does Professor Dumbledore want to stop it? I don't like it much, but it's been useful, hasn't it? I mean, I saw that snake attack Mr. Weasley and if I hadn't, Professor Dumbledore wouldn't have been able to save him, would he? Sir?"

He paused for a long moment. "It appears that the Dark Lord has been unaware of the connection between you and himself until very recently. Up till now it seems that you have been experiencing his emotions and sharing his thoughts without his being any the wiser. However, the vision you had shortly before Christmas—"

"The one with the snake and Mr. Weasley?"

"Do not interrupt me, Potter. As I was saying, the vision you had shortly before Christmas represented such a powerful incursion upon the Dark Lord's thoughts—"

"I saw inside the snake's head, not his!"

"I thought I just told you not to interrupt me, Potter?"

As if I care. I need answers about all of this. "How come I saw through the snake's eyes if it's Voldemort's thoughts I'm sharing?"

"Do not say the Dark Lord's name!"

"Dumbledore says his name," I pointed out.

"Dumbledore is an extremely powerful wizard. While he may feel secure enough to use the name, the rest of us..."

I bit back a sigh with considerable effort. "I just wanted to know why—"

"You seem to have visited the snake's mind because that was where the Dark Lord was at that particular moment. He was possessing the snake at the time and so you dreamed you were inside it too."

"And Vol — he — realized I was there?"

"It seems so."

"How do you know? Is this just Professor Dumbledore guessing, or—?"

"I told you to call me 'sir.'"

"Yes, sir, but how do you know—"

"It is enough that we know. The important point is that the Dark Lord is now aware that you are gaining access to his thoughts and feelings. He has also deduced that the process is likely to work in reverse; that is to say, he has realized that he might be able to access your thoughts and feelings in return—"

"And he might try and make me do things? Sir?"

"He might, which brings us back to Occlumency." He drew his wand from his robes and dropped three silvery strands of memory from his temple into the Pensieve before rising to his feet. "Stand up and take out your wand, Potter."

My stomach flipped as I did what he said.

"You may use your wand to attempt to disarm me, or defend yourself in any other way you can think of," he said.

I swallowed. "And what are you going to do?"

"I am about to attempt to break into your mind. We are going to see how well you resist. I have been told that you have already shown aptitude at resisting the Imperius Curse. You will find that similar powers are needed for this. Brace yourself, now. Legilimens!"

Before I could even attempt to resist, the office disappeared, and I was submerged in various memories. Watching Dudley riding a new bide, jealousy eating me from the inside out. Running away from Aunt Marge's dog as the Dursleys laughed. The Sorting Hat telling me I'd do well in Slytherin. Hermione in the Hospital Wing, half-cat and half-girl. The dementors surrounding me at the Black Lake, Sirius unconscious at my feet. My name being pulled from the Goblet of Fire, and the horror on Lucy's face. Cho kissing me on the cheek in December.

No, you're not watching that, you're not watching it, it's private—

My knee exploded with pain as the memories vanished in a flash.

Snape rubbed his wrist as I pushed myself up. "Did you mean to produce a Stinging Hex?"

"No."

"I thought not. You let me get in too far. You lost control."

I sighed. "Did you see everything I saw?"

"Flashes of it. To whom did the dog belong?"

"My Aunt Marge."

"Well, for a first attempt that was not as poor as it might have been. You managed to stop me eventually, though you wasted time and energy shouting. You must remain focused. Repel me with your brain and you will not need to resort to your wand."

"I'm trying, but you're not telling me how!"

"Manners, Potter. Now, I want you to close your eyes."

I glared for a nice long while before finally complying, feeling awfully vulnerable standing with my eyes closed in front of Severus Snape with a wand pointed directly at me.

"Clear your mind, Potter. Let go of all emotion."

I tried, but my anger at Snape was burning in my chest.

"You're not doing it, Potter. You will need more discipline than this. Focus, now."

I tried harder, and I seemed to be more successful.

"Let's go again, on the count of three. One — two — three — Legilimens!"

The first task, the massive dragon. Mum and Dad waving at me in the Mirror of Erised. Cedric, dead, in the graveyard, lifeless eyes boring into mine—

A loud shout escaped me, and I was on my knees again, heaving for breath as I cradled my head in my hands. It was like someone were trying to scrape my brain from my skull.

"Get up! Get up! You are not trying, you are making no effort, you are allowing me access to memories you fear, handing me weapons!"

I pushed myself to my feet, feeling sick to my stomach. The last image of Cedric had been seared into my eyes anew. "I am making an effort."

"I told you to empty yourself of emotion!"

"Yeah? Well, I'm finding that hard at the moment!" I shook my head, still panting.

"Then you will find yourself easy prey for the Dark Lord! Fools who wear their hearts proudly on their sleeves, who cannot control their emotions, who wallow in sad memories and allow themselves to be provoked this easily — weak people, in other words — they stand no chance against his powers!"

"Weak?" I repeated. "Weak? You just saw what I did! Doesn't the sight of one of your students, dead, bother you at all?"

"This is not about me! He will penetrate your mind with absurd ease, Potter!"

"I am not weak," I said through clenched teeth.

"Then prove it! Master yourself! Control your anger, discipline your mind! We shall try again! Get ready, now! Legilimens!"

Uncle Vernon was hammering the letter box shut. Ginny lying nearly lifeless in the Chamber of Secrets. A dark passage with a black door at the end, Mr. Weasley running beside me, but when we got to the black door, we took off to the left instead, down a flight of stairs.

"I KNOW! I KNOW!" a voice shouted exuberantly.

I was on my knees again when the spell lifted. Snape was staring at me with a perfectly veiled expression.

"What happened then, Potter?"

"I saw — I remembered, I've just realized—"

"Realized what?"

The dream of a windowless corridor I'd been having for months is a real place. It was the corridor leading to the Department of Mysteries.

I lifted my chin. "What's in the Department of Mysteries?"

Instantly, I knew I was on the right track. He looked, for the first time I could remember, unsettled. "What did you say?"

"I said, what's in the Department of Mysteries, sir?"

"And why would you ask such a thing?"

"Because that corridor I've just seen — I've been dreaming about it for months, I've just recognized it — it leads to the Department of Mysteries, and I think Voldemort wants something from—"

"I have told you not to say the Dark Lord's name!" he shouted, glaring at me.

I glared right back.

"There are many things in the Department of Mysteries, Potter, few of which you would understand and none of which concern you, do I make myself plain?"

"Yes."

"I want you back here same time on Wednesday, and we will continue work then."

"Fine."

"You are to rid your mind of all emotion every night before sleep — empty it, make it blank and calm, you understand?"

"Yes."

"And be warned, Potter, I shall know if you have not practiced."

"Right."

I marched from the office — looking back only long enough to see Snape putting the Pensieve memories back into his own mind — and made a beeline for the library, where I found Ron and Hermione but no Lucy. It was just as well, really, she hated the library.

Hermione leaned forward as soon as she saw me. "How did it go? Are you alright, Harry?"

I nodded, somewhat unconvincingly based on their reactions, and explained what I'd just realized about the Department of Mysteries.

"So are you saying that the weapon — the thing You-Know-Who's after — is in the Ministry of Magic?" Ron asked.

"In the Department of Mysteries, it's got to be. I saw that door when your dad took me down to the courtrooms for my hearing and it's definitely the same one he was guarding when the snake bit him."

Hermione nodded. "Of course. Think about it! Sturgis Podmore was trying to get through a door at the Ministry of Magic. It must have been that one, it's too much of a coincidence!"

I turned to Ron. "So what's in the Department of Mysteries? Has your dad ever mentioned anything about it?"

"I know they call the people who work in there 'Unspeakables' because no one really seems to know what they do in there. Weird place to have a weapon."

"It's not weird at all, it makes perfect sense. It will be something top secret that the Ministry has been developing, I expect." Hermione glanced at me just as I rubbed at my scar again. "Harry, are you sure you're alright?"

"Yeah, fine, I just feel a bit... I don't like Occlumency much."

"I expect anyone would feel shaky if they'd had their mind attacked over and over again. Look, let's get back to the common room, we'll be a bit more comfortable there."

The common room, however, was a madhouse. The twins were showing off products again, and the laughter of everyone watching echoed off the walls.

George was waving around a very pink, very fluffy hat. "Headless Hats! Two Galleons each — watch Fred, now!"

Fred swept an identical hat onto his head, and head and hat alike vanished. The crowd screamed, but after a couple of seconds, head and hat reappeared, very much intact.

Hermione watched with amazement. "How do those hats work, then? I mean, obviously it's some kind of Invisibility Spell, but it's rather clever to have extended the field of invisibility beyond the boundaries of the charmed object... I'd imagine the charm wouldn't have a very long life though..."

I looked around the common room, but Lucy was nowhere to be found. The three of us set up camp in a corner and erected a silencing charm, but I was still feeling quite awful so I shoved my homework into my bag.

"I'm going to have to do this tomorrow," I said with a heavy sigh.

"Well, write it in your homework planner then, so you don't forget!" Hermione said.

I did so reluctantly — it shouted "Don't leave it till later, you big second-rater!" as soon as I opened it — then tucked it away and said I was heading to bed. The second I set foot in my dormitory, though, I collapsed to my knees as pain speared through my forehead.

Despite the pain, though, there was laughter, crazy, wild, maniacal laughter.

It was interrupted by someone shaking me.

"Harry! HARRY!"

Something smacked my face, and another voice joined the first.

"HARRY! Wake up, mate!"

As soon as I opened my eyes, I realized the crazy laughter was my own. I immediately stopped, taking in my surroundings. Lucy and Ron were both crouched over me, Ron with a pillow in his hands and Lucy's hand still on my shoulder.

"What happened?" Ron asked, voice trembling.

I shook my head, pushing myself to a sitting position. "I — I don't — he's really happy, really happy."

"You-Know-Who is?"

"Something good's happened, something he's been hoping for," I panted.

"Hermione told me to come and check on you, she says your defenses will be low at the moment, after Snape's been fiddling around with your mind. Still, I suppose it'll help in the long run, won't it?"

I didn't answer.

Lucy's hand was cool as she rested it on my forehead. "You're burning up, Harry."

I managed a nod, meeting her eyes for the first time. To my surprise, it looked as if she'd been crying, but before I could ask what was wrong, she and Ron hauled me to my feet.

"I'll be right back," she said in a low voice to Ron. "Help him get into something cool."

Ron nodded, and Lucy disappeared. Everything within me ached as I climbed into a t-shirt and sweats, my scar still twinging a fair amount. I collapsed onto my bed and let my eyes sink shut.

I don't know how much time passed, but when I opened my eyes again, Lucy was perched at the foot of my bed, staring into the distance with a troubled look on her face.

"Lu?" I asked as I pushed myself up.

She blinked and turned to me with a small smile. "Hi there. Feeling any better?"

"A bit, I suppose. What're you doing here?"

"Told Ron and Hermione I'd keep an eye on you, since I don't feel up to homework either." Lucy moved closer and laid a hand on my forehead again. "Good, it seems to be helping."

"What does?"

"Oh." She laughed a bit as she reached around me and grabbed what appeared to be an ordinary white long-sleeved shirt. She reached forward and draped it around my shoulders, holding it against the back of my neck, and cool relief flooded my body. "Nice, isn't it?"

"What is it?"

"One of the only things I asked Alastor to grab for me from home. Cedric charmed it for me, to try to help with the full moon temperature swings."

"In that case, c'mere," I said, holding a sleeve out to her.

"I'm alright."

I narrowed my eyes. "Lucy."

In response, she moved even closer and pressed herself up against my chest until we fell back against my pillows. "This works for me if it works for you."

"Never thought there'd be a day I was glad you have hypothermia," I retorted.

"Never thought there'd be a day I was glad you have a fever," she replied. "Ron and Hermione told me what happened, by the way, so don't bother explaining everything again."

"Got it. What's wrong? You looked like you had been crying earlier, when I, er—"

"Damn, I thought I'd get away with that one," she said with a small laugh. "You don't miss a thing, do you?"

"I miss plenty of things," I replied. "Cho practically had to spell it out for me earlier when she wanted me to ask her to Hogsmeade."

"And did you?"

"Yeah, eventually. Valentine's Day. Say, you and Ginny were the ones who hexed Zacharias, weren't you?"

"Of course. I take credit for the shoelaces."

"Where'd you learn that one?"

"Remus invented it and taught me the incantation. Works well, doesn't it?"

I laughed for the first time — legitimately, anyway — in hours. "I'd say so. Anyway, back to—"

Lucy groaned. "I was sure you'd forget about it once Cho came up."

"Forget about something concerning you? Never."

"Git," she said, a bit breathlessly. When she spoke again, her voice was softer and more solemn. "Remember that whole 'I want to try to listen to myself and figure out why people actually care about me' speech I gave you a couple of nights ago?"

"What did I just say about forgetting about something concerning you?"

"Right. Well... I didn't think that would be challenged so soon, with Ginny going and doing something like that completely in secret and... yeah. That's why I wasn't in the library with Ron and Hermione, we were talking about it while both completely coherent and awake, unlike this morning, and as you can imagine, it wasn't the easiest conversation."

"Was it a good one, though?"

"I think so," she said in a small voice. "I stand by what I said, though, don't even think about it. I don't want to talk about it anymore tonight, but... please just don't."

"I can't promise that I won't ever, but I won't do anything until we talk about it properly. Is that good enough for now?"

Lucy nodded. She sighed. "Snape is a proper arse. Don't let him get to you."

"The problem is that not only can he, he does, too. He takes every chance he stumbles across to get to me," I muttered. "He saw the memory of Ripper chasing me when I was nine."

"Oh, bloody hell, I remember you telling me about that after you had a nightmare about it one summer," she said. "What else did he see?"

The look on your face when my name came out of the Goblet of Fire. Your brother dying.

But I didn't say any of that. "Too much. Far too much."

She sighed again. "Fair enough. Are you feeling any better? I reckon I should sleep in my own bed, especially now that you have a date with Cho Chang for Valentine's Day in Hogsmeade."

"I'm feeling better," I said. "Thanks for coming up and keeping me company. And keeping me cool."

"Anytime, except for the other 90% of the month I'm not an ice cube," she replied as she pushed herself up and headed toward the door. "Good night, Harry."

"Good night, Lucy... Ice Cube. Lucy Ice Cube."

Lucy grinned. "Two middle names for me, now? You're a wild man, Harry James."

"You know it," I said with a matching grin as I slipped back off to sleep.