Castiel returned to normal not much later and healed Ruby. Sam still insisted that Ruby stay in bed most of the time. He did what he could for her - making food, running errands. She didn't eat much though. The morning sickness had already started, and it wasn't always in the morning. Some days, she was fine with staying in and looking for cases on the laptop. Others, well, some days were hard to deal with.

• • •

"Sam, please. I need this. I need to do something. I can't just sit here!" Ruby was pacing with her hands on top of her head, breathing fast.

"Ruby!" Sam grabbed Ruby's elbow, pulling her arm down and stopping her. "You need to calm down."

"You understand that I physically can't calm down, right? I hate this just as much as you do, but I need to get this energy out. I understand that I shouldn't run or fight or anything because of the pregnancy, I just - ugh. Sam. I need help. I hate asking, but please."

"Okay." He thought a minute as Ruby jittered nervously. "Do you want to go for a drive? Roll the windows down, and play loud music?"

"Yes, yes please." Driving didn't always help, but it was better than some of the alternatives.

"Okay, then pick one. Either I drive on the highway or you drive on the regular roads." He didn't trust her to drive safely on the highway; he probably barely trusted her to drive safely, period.

"I'll drive on regular roads."

"Good. Let's go. But, if you start getting reckless, you have to promise to pull over."

"Why would I? Really, there has to be consequences or I won't do it."

"If you do that, then I'll just have Cas put you to sleep the next time you get like this. If he can."

"Okay, a little harsh, but I'll agree. Let's go."

• • •

An hour later, Ruby had found a secluded lake where they could stop. She'd been driving for an hour, mostly in circles. They'd been arguing in the bedroom, but she was pretty sure that everyone could hear. She'd left without looking at anyone.

She'd finally calmed down enough to stop driving, so they decided to stop. It was a beautiful lake. They could hear all kinds of things out in the trees and see movement in the water. Ruby sat crosslegged on the ground and started ripping up grass. Then she found a twig and started pulling off the old layers of bark. She had mostly calmed down, but she needed to keep her hands busy.

"You're getting worse again," Sam pointed out.

"Obviously," she muttered. "I'm sorry," she said, realizing she'd been rude. She briefly looked up at Sam then back down at the twig. She didn't like looking people in the eye sometimes, even Sam. "Is it because I'm pregnant? I just don't understand. Oh, my god, what if my medicine is doing something to the baby." Her hand flew to her belly. She wasn't far along. She was worried enough as it was; just thinking about going off her meds made her start freaking out again.

She looked up at Sam. She knew he could see the fear in her eyes; it was worse than even facing a monster. "Hey. It's gonna be okay. You just have to stick with it. Everything will level out sooner or later. Don't worry. You have all this time to focus on yourself. All you need to worry about is yourself. We'll figure it out. We'll just have to research all of this."

Ruby was holding Sam's hand tightly in hers. "Logically, I know you're probably right, but all I can think about is the bad. I can't see any of the good."

Ruby looked back at the lake. After a minute of silence, Sam asked, "You read "The Hunger Games" right?" She nodded. "Do you remember what Katniss and Peeta did when he didn't know what was real and what wasn't? Peeta would name something and Katniss would tell him if it really happened or not. Maybe we could try something like that for you."

"What do you mean?" She kept ripping grass out of the ground with her free hand.

"When all you can see is the bad, I'll remind you of the good until you feel better. It's a long list; I could go on forever."

"What's first on the list?"

"Well, you have me."

"You're so humble, Sam." She smiled a little.

"Then there's our baby."

Ruby shook her head vigorously. "That worries me more than anything. What if-"

"Don't start the 'what if' spiral. We'll take it as it comes. Next good thing: Dean, Mary, and Cas love you." He didn't mention her mom and sister because he knew it was a touchy subject. She didn't like to talk to them because she had to lie, and she had to lie to protect them. She didn't want to put them in danger.

"Next?"

"The polio vaccine exists."

"Next?"

"Asylums no longer exist."

"I like that one. Going along with that, I'm glad that Dr. Ellicott is at rest or whatever. The things he did to those people." She shuddered.

"Next one: JK Rowling is the only person to lose her billionaire status because she gave so much money to charity."

"Mmm." Ruby noticed that she'd stopped ripping up the grass and she felt a lot more relaxed. She moved closer to Sam and leaned against him. "I think I'm ready to leave now. Thanks, Sam." Ruby tilted her face up to kiss him. "I love you," she said before her lips touched his.