ten. the same wounds. 

── ⋅ ⋅ ── ✩ ── ⋅ ⋅ ──

The moon sat saddened in the sky, seeping out into the blackness with overwhelming silver streaks. It was lonely amongst the thousands of glittering stars which were lightyears away, living just to burn into nothingness.

The moon's pale light dribbled through the leaves of the oak trees, transforming the forest into dancing shadows. The rivers were turned into streams of liquid pearls, veering through the heavy undergrowth like veins. Every crack and corner of the forest was illuminated with a magical, otherworldly quality which one couldn't find when daylight was present.

A crow squawked from far away, the frightening sound being carried through the trees as they rustled in symphony. A midnight-furred she-cat sat quietly beside the silver-tinted river with her ears perked, listening to the sounds and awaiting for her friend's arrival.  

This was the spot where they first encountered each other many moons ago as kits playing in the sand beside the river. During the warmth of the day, they would bask in the sunshine for hours and the sand would swell like an embrace around them. Then, when the air got too hot, they would drink from the cool and soft river and everything in life made sense. How she longed to return to a simpler time. 

When the bushes behind her shivered, Ravendust turned her head around. The brilliant golden tom she had been waiting for was pushing his way through the undergrowth, eyeing her with concerned curiosity. She smiled and let out a sigh of ease, "It's you."

Sunstorm, now free from the forest's constraints, flashed his green eyes around nervously, "Are you expecting anyone else?"

Ravendust shook her head, "No, no– I'm just relieved to see you."

The yellow-furred tom let her words float above his head and drift down with the silver stream, never to land fully. Gently rippling above the stones, the river repeated her words in a whisper, taking them further and further away until they were far beyond reach. 

Sunstorm continued to glance over his shoulder every now and then, as if he didn't trust Ravendust, as if an ambush were about to erupt from the shadows and consume him. 

He flicked his whiskers impatiently, "What did you want to talk to me about?"

–

There wasn't a tree for miles and miles and the barn sat sleepily upon the barren hillside. Beyond, the tom cat could see where the sky and the land were stitched together, where the tops of the grasses poked into the end of the atmosphere, jutting through the clouds.  

Nighttime was peaceful and nothing could compare to the sight of the thousands of little holes in the black fabric of the sky. He could stare at the sparkling pockmarks for a long time and simply lose himself in his thoughts. 

The barn had an automatic light outside the door which would flick on if it detected movement. Swiftshadow had been sitting so still that the light had been off for a long time. With its rays not streaking out, he could appreciate the dark canvas of the night so much more. 

Watching the stars, he thought about StarClan and wondered now that he was out of the forest, whether he could still look up to them. Were his ancestors still alongside him? Sometimes he felt like the world's loneliest cat. That the stars were just glistering specks of dust sitting miles and miles away. That if he called, they wouldn't hear him and if they called, it would sound like nothingness. 

Suddenly, the yellow light flicked on.

Swiftshadow turned his head, recognizing the fluffy shadow of Rumble. When they met eyes, Rumble's face looked as it always did: stone-cold. The older tom let out a gruff and then cleared his throat, "I've been looking for you."

The ginger tom pricked his ears curiously but mimicked the other cat's stern nature, "I was here." He turned his focus upwards again, drifting out into the depths of the crystallized sky. "What did you need?"

For the few days Swiftshadow had been staying at the barn, Rumble refused to treat him normally. He could tell by the looks of the old cat was sending him, by the mean and unyielding glares that Rumble didn't want Swiftshadow around. Swiftshadow had done his best to ignore them and figured that Rumble was having had a harder time trusting him than everyone else had. He was sure he would warm up in no time.

The others had simply fallen in love with the new ginger tom. Both Fawn and Chirp were attached to Swiftshadow; he could never get a moment's peace when they were around. And Echo...well, he wanted Echo to always be around.

Rumble cleared his throat once again, breaking into Swiftshadow's thoughts, "Hello? Did you hear any of that?"

The tom froze in embarrassment. He had been so swept away by Echo and the image of her bright amber eyes that he hadn't heard anything his company said. Ducking his head, Swiftshadow muttered, "No...Sorry."

Rumble's fur flicked upwards in irritation. The ends of his gray coat rose to the sky, making him appear much bigger than he actually was. He neared Swiftshadow, hissing violently, "I want you to leave. Permanently."

–

Ravendust's heart dropped. She turned away from the golden tom, unable to look him in the face. The crow squawked again and the river trickled in her ears, threatening to spill whatever secrets slipped from her mouth. She then sighed, "I think you already know."

Sunstorm studied her with apprehension. He shifted in the sand so he could see her face once more, so she couldn't blend into the darkness of the night. They locked eyes and vulnerability blossomed between them. The tom said softly, "This is about Mottlestar, isn't it?"

"Yes, there's something I must tell you about him." She blurted out passionately, the confession sitting on the tip of her tongue, just waiting to be spilled out into the open, to get lost down the river stream and never return. Though, something more sensitive and tender was holding her back. It had its claws in her, tearing beneath the skin and ripping into her vital organs, making a home for itself in between her ribs. Love.

Sunstorm grew deeply distressed at her silence. His leaf-green eyes were wide and mobile, actively scanning her for signs. The fur on his back began to slowly lift upwards and nerves tingled in his every bone. "Ravendust, what's wrong?"

The moon was suddenly covered by a tuft of cloud. Darkness inched across the sky, expanding into everything and ridding the forest of any light at all. It was as though the whole world had turned into a black hole, ruled by shadows and evil spirits.

Ravendust was defined only by her two, sharp eyes. She stared openly at Sunstorm and admitted, "Mottlestar's not the leader of ThunderClan."

–

Swiftshadow wasn't sure whether he heard the tom correctly. He flicked his ears and cocked his head to the side in confusion. "I don't understand..."

Rumble huffed and dug his unsheathed claws into the soil, tearing through the grass and turf, "You need to leave. You don't belong here."

Swiftshadow was suddenly sucked into a wave of painful memories. He remembered each one clearly: all the times his Classmates kicked him to the dust and told him words that stuck to him like unwashable stenches, bloodstains. Each and every insult stitched together to make up his identity, and even though he had tried to run from it, it was back again, staring into him as a new  shape. 

The gray cat continued, "You are a forest cat and you need to go back to the forest. I don't want you here around my kin!"

"Echo said differently–"

"Echo doesn't know what she's talking about!" Rumble shouted, his voice shaking the atmosphere, "She isn't thinking right, she's completely blinded by her love for you. For StarClan's sake, she can't tell the difference between her own four feet!"

She's in love with me? Swiftshadow swallowed what felt to be a cherry-pit lodged in his throat. He suddenly felt his insides glow warmly as if embers were gathering together at the bottom of his stomach. His hopeful heart was skipping and dancing in his chest and he couldn't bite back the smile forming on his lips as he replayed Rumble's words over and over. 

'For StarClan's sake?' The ginger tom suddenly realized what Rumble had said and his interest piqued. He remembered what Echo had told him a couple days ago, "Rumble's originally from the forest," and couldn't make sense of the strange cat standing in front of him. 

Swiftshadow, deciding not to back down as he always did, piped up, "But you're from the forest too." 

Rumble shook his head, trying not to divert the subject, "That was a very long time ago."

Just as the words left the tomcat's lips, some clouds covered over the moon and the world fell completely dark. Everything was blanketed over with a thick, black cover except for the yellow light which still flickered in the background.

Swiftshadow narrowed his eyes, studying Rumble closely before asking him, "Who are you?"

–

He didn't believe her. When the words flew from her jaws and landed into his ears, he couldn't believe them. He was infected by laughter, thinking his friend was playing some cruel prank on him. But when the medicine cat didn't reciprocate his amusement, when she didn't laugh alongside him and instead continued to stare at him with that serious, shining expression, he stopped.

Sunstorm, realizing that it was not a silly joke, now felt the gravity of the situation. Like a crumpled flower, he felt the weight of the situation push down on his shoulders and chest, threatening to crack every bone inside his body. He had so many questions but the first one he blurted out was, "What do you mean he's not the leader?"

Ravendust exhaled a short and anxious breath, "I mean– he doesn't have nine lives. On the night he was supposed to become leader, StarClan turned him away and he's been lying to everyone." The words were fluttering so quickly from her jaws, "I– I had the chance to stop him but I couldn't. I was afraid and I didn't know what to do!" She cried out, panic swelling inside of her and growing larger and larger with each passing second. She only hoped Sunstorm would understand.

Sunstorm's eyes drifted down to the ground. He nestled back into his head, thinking deeply. His thoughts jumped around, tangling into one large ball of confusion. He frowned, feeling the pressure begin to build, "So, if Mottlestar's not the leader...then who is?"

Wasn't he listening? 

Ravendust lashed her tail in irritation. She had a huge problem on her paws, one that was far beyond her now and all he cared about was who the true leader is? The black she-cat hissed, feeling her fur rise in fury, "Didn't you hear me? I said I don't know what to do! I need your help!"

Sunstorm, taken aback by her sudden snap, mimicked with his own anger. He took a large step forward and barked, "Tell me who it is!" His voice rang through the dark trees, flapping like an escaped bird, swarming past all of the leaves and hanging vines.

Frightened, Ravendust ducked her face, fearing the tom was suddenly going to grow violent. She backed away, whimpering wordlessly and beginning to shiver. 

After a moment's solitude, after feeling the tom's impatience breathe hotly on her skin, she squeaked, "Swiftshadow. Swiftshadow is the leader of ThunderClan."

–

A glint of fear flashed in his eyes. It was quick but so prominent, there was no missing it. 

Rumble sucked in a breath, his face scrunching offendedly as he snarled, "I think the real question is: who are you? Why did you show up here out of the forest? What was wrong with your home? What are you running away from?"

"Bold of you to assume I'm running away." Swiftshadow shot back, flicking his tail in an agitated manner.

The older tom pushed onwards, "I meet forest cats very rarely but when I do, they're always escaping from something or someone." He took another step closer, his silver claws glinting and catching the edge of Swiftshadow's eye. Rumble added more seriously, "I'm not going to ask you again: what are you running away from?"

The ginger tom took a step back from the advancing aggressor, growing panicked. Finally, he blurted, "It wasn't a plan. I was exiled. But I'm not a criminal, I promise. My leader was fed up with me because I am a very untrained cat. I wasn't suited for the forest life and he didn't like that. I don't hunt, I don't fight, I don't kill, and that wasn't acceptable for my leader so I was forced to leave."

Rumble continued to study his opponent in silence, though something about his demeanor had dropped. He no longer appeared aggressive and was instead listening to Swiftshadow intently. As the grasses swayed against his legs, his thoughts swayed in his head. 

The moon suddenly came out from hiding, revealing its silver self once again and sending streaks throughout the sky. 

Swiftshadow shrugged in defeat, huffing, "Sometimes being yourself isn't enough to save you from other's expectations."

For a split second, Rumble's barrier collapsed and the inner pieces of him were visible. They were scattered along the earth for everyone's eyes to see: broken and defenseless.  It was as though Swiftshadow's words had uncovered the old tom cat's past, forcing him to relive memories he had buried a long time ago. He relieved the blood and the screams, the clashing of claws and the piles of dead bodies, the fighting and the anger, the fear and the eventful escape. Mostly, Rumble saw himself among the chaos, too young to be around such horrors. 

Rumble shook his head and backed away, "I'm sorry," He muttered pathetically, "I didn't know." His eyes, silver and saddened, no longer looked in Swiftshadow's direction. Suddenly, Rumble turned and walked away. 

Swiftshadow, confounded by Rumble's rash decision, called after him but it was no use. Rumble had disappeared down the hillside and faded out of sight.

–

Sunstorm didn't know what to think. His mouth went completely dry as every word died on his tongue. How does one respond to such a thing? It suddenly felt as though he were being crushed beneath a great rock and smashed out in little shards, pieces of him flying in every direction.

His first instinct was to yell, to scream and holler in anger. He felt his chest tighten and his claws itch. He had helped an important cat escape– he had helped a villian inflict his evil plan. What would StarClan think? Sunstorm had dedicated his whole life to being the perfect warrior, always taking the right steps so that when the day to become leader arrived, he would be honored and revered. But this situation would scar his repetition.

His eyes fell down to Ravendust. She was shivering sadly in front of him, trembling in such a panicked and despairing manner, he instantly felt his anger melt away and flourish into something softer: forgiveness.

"Please," She breathed, "You have to help me."

The yellow tom nodded and neared her reassuringly. He exhaled a long and exhausted sigh and asked her something unexpected, "Are you in love with Mottlestar?"

Ravendust froze. Then, she began to shake her head rapidly, taking short steps away from the golden tom as her eyes shimmered underneath the sprouting tears.

"It's–" She began, her voice cracking under the strain of Sunstorm's green eyes, "It's not like that... yes, we were in love once but it was a long time ago!"

When she was only met with a disapproving expression, she felt as though he were condensing her to a fool, to a speck of dust, to a bloodstain easily wiped away. Anger surged through her, "Don't look at me like that!" Ravendust demanded, "I'm not an idiot!" 

The black-furred she-cat continued, explaining to her friend, "It happened when we were younger, way before our duties. We both thought it would last but that before I had to commit to my medicine cat vow to never take a mate. And Mottlestar went on to train for leadership, he had no time to ever love somebody. We had no choice but to separate for our Clan and our obligations," Her voice suddenly softened as she said her next words. She spoke like she was reminding herself, "but the love was always going to remain. You can't just stop something like that."

Ravendust's speech was followed by a heavy silence. 

The moon returned again, fully soaking the midnight sky with silver light, again illuminating the two cats below and making the ends of their fur sparkle. Sunstorm and Ravendust stood studying each other in understanding, feeling the same pain, the same frustration, the same love. 

Finally Ravendust muttered, hanging her head low, "Please help me. I don't know what to do."

"You do." Sunstorm said, knowing it wasn't what she wanted to hear,  "You know exactly what you have to do."