*New Poem! Hope you guys enjoy!*

If only I could keep my head up.

If only I could put down the cup.

If I could take the voices out of my head.

I'd make sure they'd stay dead.

If only I could ignore the instinct to kill myself.

then the only part of me will be left on the shelf.

I would go to college and maybe get a degree.

I bet you didn't think this was who I was going to be.

If only I could pull myself out of this hole.

The last time I was really happy was so long ago.

I feel trapped in a cage at the bottom of the sea.

If only I could break free.

I run from the emotions my heart tells me to feel.

The depression is too much for me to deal.

If only I could ditch the anxiety in my heart.

It wouldn't be something tearing me apart.

If I could push away the need to cry.

I'd never let anything eat me up inside.

If only I could take away my kindness,

It has caused me nothing but hardships.

All these ifs but I can't do anything now.

It's been too long that I've been down.

If only I could rise from the night.

And give a little more fight.

I'd be okay to move on.

All my pain would be gone.

But it's part of who I became.

Now I'm left listening alone to the rain.

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Until next time!

Love, Caitlin