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35 | my big fat gay wedding

"Jensen Rhodes, you're killing me."

            "You look gorgeous."

            Miles had a tie draped around his neck, untied. (Either Miles was planning on ditching the tie at the last moment because he hated wearing them, or he was waiting for Jensen to tie it for him because he claimed he didn't know how even though she knew it was because he liked brushing her curls out of her face while she tied his tie.) A black blazer, white button up, black pants, dress shoes. Anyone purely looking at his outfit would say he was fit to attend a wedding as a bridesman. Then Jensen saw what Dayna's stylist had done to his hair.

            "I look like a dick."

            Jensen reached her hand up toward the curl that had been styled in the middle of Miles' forehead and grinned when Miles pulled his head away. "Sal Mineo?"

            "Who else?"

            "Is Dayna in a red blazer?"

            "And blue pants."

            "Does she look happy?"

            "Happiest I've ever seen her."

            "Liberty is too."

            "I like the pin curls."

            "God, don't even talk to me about them." Jensen rolled her eyes.

            Miles laughed. "I take it you had an amazing time with the hairdresser?"

            "I have curly hair," Jensen said. "Why straighten it just to curl it again?"

            "I don't know, Rhodes." Miles laughed again. "But you're pulling it off."

            "I don't think Liberty had seven months pregnant Gentleman Prefer Blondes Marilyn Monroe on her wedding agenda," Jensen said, putting a hand on her stomach. If anything, she was thankful her bridesmaid dress wasn't too tight. The tailor had done a good job guessing how big her stomach would be at the time of the wedding. "I feel like a balloon."

            "A gorgeous balloon."

            Jensen laughed. "Thanks for that."

            Miles wrapped an arm around Jensen's shoulder and pressed a kiss to the side of her head. "I love you."

            "Don't mess up the pin curls."

            "Harsh, Rhodes." Miles laughed.

            "I love you, too," Jensen said. "But don't mess up the pin curls."

            "I still think you look gorgeous."

            "I could say the same thing."

            Dayna and Liberty had made their Hollywood theme feel a lot homier with fairy lights trailing across the walls. They liked the way it made the venue look, how it dressed it up without even trying. Jensen liked the way the reflection of the light danced in Miles' eyes when he looked at her. Ocean waves bathed in starlight.

            Jensen pushed her fingertips through the edge of his hair. Not enough to upset the wax that had styled it, but enough that she could feel the softness of the hairs it had missed. A soft smile pulled at her lips as her hands dragged down his neck, then to the tie draped around it. She looked up at him, a silent question.

            Miles nodded softly.

            Jensen looped the tie around itself quickly. Up, over, and through and she had tied herself a knot. She tightened it gently, not too tight. Enough that Miles wouldn't fiddle with it during the ceremony.

            "You know," Miles said, a hand running up and down Jensen's bicep. Jensen had the feeling the hand had been on the way to her hair but detoured at the reminder of pin curls. "There's that tradition between, you know, the maid of honour and the best man. A, you know, sexual tradition."

            "Oh my God." Jensen laughed.

            "I saw a closet not far from here."

            Jensen looked down at her stomach, presenting pressed against Miles'. She wasn't sure if she'd meant to or if they had stood too close to each other for it to matter. "I think we're good."

            Miles snorted. "Think we should be getting back to the wedding parties?"

            "Think Dayna and Liberty have stopped stressing out long enough to notice we're gone?"

            "Jensen Rhodes!"

            "Sounds like your cue."

            Liberty came around the corner. Eyes wide, red lipstick likely the same shade as her anger. Not anger. Maybe frustration was better. Tension. "Where were you?"

            Jensen pointed to Miles. "Just saying hi."

            "Can you please say hi on the dancefloor or something?" Liberty asked. She pulled at the halter straps of her dress, which was ever so Marilyn Monroe. "I'm freaking out."

            Jensen took Miles' hand and squeezed it. "I'll see you at the aisle."

            "At the aisle." Miles nodded.

            Jensen walked over to Liberty. "Why are you freaking out?"

            "Lib," Miles said, before the two of them could get too far away.

            "Yeah?"

            "You look fantastic," Miles said, "Dayna's going to fall in love all over again."

            Jensen smiled. "He's right."

            A small wave of relief dressed Liberty's face. "Thanks."

            Miles nodded again and headed to where Jensen was sure Dayna was getting ready. Or probably sitting down, an anxious leg bouncing, waiting for the are you ready? that she could walk down the aisle.

            Jensen looped her arm with Liberty's, leading her back to where her preparation room was. She sat Liberty down gently, hands on her shoulders. "Why are you so freaked out?"

            "Because I'm getting married and it's scary."

            "Why's it scary?"

            "Because now we're tied for life and what if that goes wrong?"

            "What if that goes right?"

            "Jensen Rhodes—" Liberty practically growled before taking in a deep breath. "Why are you so annoyingly optimistic today?"

            "Because it's your wedding day," Jensen said. "And you and Dayna are going to spend the rest of your lives together."

            "Thank God I don't have to be the one everyone stares at when they walk down the aisle," Liberty said. "I feel like I'm going to throw up."

            "In a good way?"

            Liberty made a face. "Who are you and what have you done with my best friend?"

            "What?"

            "Stop being so optimistic."

            "You're getting married, which, let's be real, neither of us thought you would ever do—"

            "Hey."

            "And I haven't been able to keep a meal down for seven months because this kid is kicking my ass, but I love them."

            "What does that mean?"

            "We could use a little optimistic." Jensen nodded. Like she was assuring herself too.

            "That's not the Jensen Rhodes I know."

            "I think she's grown up a little."

            "Well." Liberty fought a small smile. "Grow back down."

            "What?"

            "Grow the fuck back down," Liberty said. "It's my wedding day. No stuffy adults allowed."

            "I have two kids—"

            "I didn't pay for a babysitter for your one year old for you to be mama Rhodes," Liberty said. "Grow back down. Give me old Jensen."

            "You want me to think about every possible thing that could go wrong today?"

            "I want you to be the Jensen Rhodes who refused to go to a Halloween party and had to be begged," Liberty said. "I want Baby Houseman Jensen Rhodes at my wedding."

            "Baby Houseman Jensen Rhodes will probably leave your wedding early to pick up her kid."

            "Don't make me be Bridezilla."

            "Don't you dare."

            Liberty got up from her chair and wrapped her arms around Jensen. "You're sure everything is going to be okay?"

            "It's going to be perfect." Jensen rubbed between Liberty's shoulders. "I promise."

            "Whew." Liberty blew out a deep breath of air as she pulled away from Jensen, pressing her thumbs below her eyes. "I didn't think I was going to be this emotional."

            "I think you're allowed to be."

            Liberty sniffled loudly. "Least I'm not throwing up in the bathroom."

            Jensen laughed. "That wasn't because I was nervous."

            "I know, I know." Liberty laughed, too. "You were going to marry that man the moment you met him."

            "I think a lot of people knew that before I did."

            "Dayna seemed to," Liberty said.

            "Dayna is one of the best things that ever happened to you," Jensen said, taking Liberty's hands in hers. "And there is no doubt in my mind that you two are going to live such a long, happy life with each other."

            Liberty squeezed Jensen's hands. "Thanks, mom."

            Jensen let out a small laugh. "Liberty Faith-Adams—"

            "Oh, God."

            "Don't you dare cry on me."

            "I'm not." Liberty freed a hand from Jensen's and pressed her thumb to the bottom of her eye before any tears could fall.

            "You cry and I cry."

            "I know."

            "And then we'll have to go back to makeup."

            Liberty laughed. "I know."

            "Relax. Everything's going to be fine."

            "The day of your wedding," Liberty said, "when you were puking your guts up—"

            "I was pregnant."

            "—Dayna came to talk to you because she thought she'd be the calmest out of the three of us."

            "Which she was."

            "Oh, easily." Liberty let out another deep breath. "But because she went to find you, I was with Miles. Who was already panicking. For too many reasons."

            "Sounds right."

            "Jens, will you let me talk?"

            Jensen waved her hand.

            "The entire time Dee spent with you, I spent with him," Liberty said. "And he spent the entire time he was panicking telling me how much he cared about you. How much he hoped you were okay. Told me a bunch of stories about adventures you two had gone on." She smiled softly. "That man was two shaking breaths away from a full-blown panic attack and all he wanted to talk about was how much he loved you."

            "You never told me that."

            Liberty shook her head. "Because I thought it was stupid to tell you. Because I thought you already knew."

            "Is there a but?"

            "But now I'm wondering if something similar happened, would Dayna be saying the same things?"

            "She is."

            Liberty jumped, squeezing Jensen's hands a little tighter. They both looked where the voice had come from, knowing who it was.

            "Sorry," Miles said. "I was sent to check on you."

            "Why?"

            "Because, and I quote," Miles started, "she's probably freaking out so go make sure she's okay for me, dumbass."

            Liberty laughed. "That sounds about right."

            "Are we okay?"

            "Better."

            "Do I tell her we're almost in tears in here?"

            "Can you tell her I love her?" Liberty asked. "And that I'm ecstatic to marry her?"

            Miles nodded. "Absolutely."

            Liberty got up from her chair and walked over to Miles, wrapping her arms around him tightly. "Thank you."

            "Um. You're welcome." Miles' eyes widened as he hugged her back. He looked at Jensen, pointing a finger up a Liberty and mouthing, Is she okay?

            Jensen nodded.

            Miles smiled softly. All for Jensen.

*

"Rhodes, you're not even going to dance with me?"

            "I'm going to be lucky if this wedding cake lasts ten minutes."

            "Do you feel like you're going to be sick?"

            "I feel like I know it's going to happen."

            "Optimistic, Rhodes."

            "Liberty said I was extremely optimistic today."

            Miles laughed as he took a seat beside Jensen. "Maybe you gave all your optimism away."

            Jensen pressed a fist to her mouth as she fought a gag. She stifled a weak cough when the feeling had passed. "Did I?"

            "You do know yourself."

            "Milo and Miss Rhodes," a kind voice said. Miles immediately hopped out of his chair and let the person sit down. Jensen smiled softly as he looked at her, continuing with, "Or should I say missus Rhodes?"

            "I'm cool with either from you, Bram."

            "Don't call her Rhodes, Bramo," Miles said. "That's my name for her."

            "That's my family name," Jensen said. "Actually."

            Bram laughed, face lighting up with joy. "You kids slay me."

            Miles groaned as Rocky ran and jumped up on him, but let out a small laugh. "Hey there, little queen. Be careful. I'm an old man."

            "Don't start, Milo." Bram laughed. "I'll find a spoon to whip you."

            "Auntie Dee said to bug you," Rocky said, laughing as she grinned up at Miles. "Hi, Grandpa Bram!"

            "Hi, little miss Rhodes." Bram smiled.

            "Come on, Rock," Miles said. "Let's go dance."

            "Yay!" Rocky said, jumping off him and grabbing his hand.

            "Have fun!" Jensen said.

            Bram and Jensen watched as Rocky ran Miles to the dancefloor. Jensen's smile grew as Miles' did, him and Rocky both dancing to some Hall and Oates song Jensen wasn't listening to enough to identify it. Dayna and Liberty laughed near them, swaying to the beat. The smiles hadn't left their faces since their eyes had met when Dayna walked out to be given away by Bram. Jensen's eyes trailed to Maddox and Scott. Also dressed with smiles that looked like they'd never leave. Dancing wildly to the song. 

            "It makes me so happy," Bram started, Jensen's attention snapping to him although his stayed on Miles and Rocky, "that he found you at the right time."

            Jensen smiled. "I'm glad I found him too."

            "Look at him," Bram said. "The way he lights up when he sees you. Sees your kids. It makes me damn happy that he found you right when he needed to. You make him better."

            "He makes me better too."

            "He and Dee," Bram said, turning to look at Jensen, his eyes shining. "They've been through a lot. Made some bad decisions in their lives. It's hard to watch kids fall down paths that you feel like you can't stop them or save them from.

            "But you and Liberty." Bram shook his head, smiling. "That night I met you there was no doubt in my mind you would change their lives. I'm so glad they found you two. That they had you. That they'll have you two forever. And I'm damn proud of the people they became after they met you two. Especially Milo.

            "He had never brought someone to meet me before he brought you to my shop that morning," Bram said. "Did he ever tell you that?"

            "No."

            "And he never gave you a second thought," Bram said. He smiled, tapping his fingers against the table. "I think a part of him knew he was going to spend the rest of his life with you before he realized it."

            Jensen smiled as she looked back to Miles and Rocky. "The feeling was mutual."

            "Jensen," Bram said.

            Jensen turned toward Bram again. "Yes?"

            "Thank you for making my boy this happy," Bram said. "He deserved it."

            "Did he tell you our son's name?" Jensen asked.

            "Yes he did," Bram said. "Beckett's a wonderful name."

            "His middle name's Abraham," Jensen said.

            "Really?"

            Jensen nodded. "We never had an alternative."

            Bram quickly wiped his cheek with his hand. He and Jensen pretended a tear hadn't fallen. "That's... that's mighty nice of you kids. Thank you."

            "You don't have to thank us," Jensen said. "I think we have to thank you."

            "Seeing Milo grow up. Seeing Dee go from a scared teenager to who she is now. Seeing you and Liberty grow more as people than I've seen a lot of people do in the years I've known you," Bram said. "That's absolutely enough."

            Jensen pressed her fist to her mouth as she fought another gag. "I'm so sorry, Bram. I'm going to go outside for a minute. Get some air."

            "Need company?"

            Jensen shook her head. "It's okay. Enjoy the party. I'll be back soon."

            Bram smiled softly. "Let me know if there's anything I can do."

            "Of course."

            "Thank you for giving Beckett my name," Bram said. "It means the world to me, kiddo."

            "You mean the world to us."

            Jensen gave him one last nod before excusing herself to the small balcony outside of the party. Sometimes fresh air could help her keep her meal down entirely. All she wanted was for it to stay down until they got home.

            As best she could, Jensen leaned against the balcony. Hands dangling over the edge. Jensen liked looking out over the city. At the lights that never seemed to fully go to sleep for the night. The night air was cool, nippy. Not the best for Jensen's dress but she'd take it over the heat of the wedding party.

            Jensen gently pulled bobby pins out from her hair. Let the pin curls fall around her face. Any pictures that Liberty and Dayna had wanted had already been taken, she didn't see the need for her hair to be up. She ran a hand through her hair. Attempting to do so was mood with the amount of hairspray that had been used in it earlier, but at least it loosened some of the curls.

            "You okay, Rhodes?"

            Jensen turned slightly. She smiled softly at the fact that Miles had untied his tie again, undid the top couple buttons on his shirt. "I'm good. Needed some air."

            "Bram said you looked like you were about to toss your cookies."

            "Is that a direct quote?"

            Miles laughed. "You know it."

            He walked over, leaning one arm on the railing so he could face her. Used his free hand to push her hair behind her ear. Stepped a little closer. Pressed a kiss to her forehead before pulling away. With the balcony door closed, the music was softened. But not completely deafened. Beautiful Life by Ace of Base.

            Jensen turned to lean her back against the railing. Throw the window panels of the door, she could see everyone. There were faculty members that worked with Liberty, friends from Dayna's Broadway and off-Broadway productions all dancing around. Liberty held her dress so she could kick around her heels as her and Dayna danced. There were kiss marks on cheeks that probably ached from smiling so wide. Maddox and Scott waved their arms as they danced near the newlyweds, Rocky on Scott's shoulders. A gigantic grin on her lips. And Bram watched. Happily. Holding himself together, a proud practically-father.

            "We can dance out here," Miles said. "Case you gotta turn and puke."

            "Wow, romantic."

            "I try, Rhodes." Miles laughed.

            Miles pushed off the railing and offered her his hand as the song changed to Dancing In The Moonlight. King Harvest. Jensen smiled softly as she took his hand, resting her other one on his shoulder. Miles' hand found her waist. Stomachs pressed against each other as best they could.

            They gently swayed as the softened music filtered onto the balcony. Bathed in the light from inside the venue. The fairy lights still illuminated Miles perfectly. The ocean eyes. Perfect smile. Stubble with the smallest patch of grey that Jensen loved dearly.

            Miles leaned in slowly, Jensen stood up on her toes. Lips meeting in the middle. Smiles dressed them. Swaying in the cool September breeze. Only pulled away when Jensen felt a kick against her stomach. Hard enough to make her lips break apart from Miles'.

            "Ow."

            Miles' eyes widened. "I felt that. Are you okay?"

            Jensen let out a weak laugh, placing her hand on her stomach. "Don't call them little ass-kicked for nothing."

            "Christ."

            "Couple more months."

            "You've got this, Rhodes."

            Jensen took his hand again, a small sway to her hips. Smile pulling onto her lips. "We've got this."

            Miles grinned and pulled Jensen in for another kiss. The music grew louder for a moment before—

            "Come on, you party poopers!" Dayna yelled. Loud enough for Jensen and Miles to pull away from each other. "I know you're mom and pop now, but you're not dead!"

            Dayna cackled and went back inside to the dancefloor, raised her arms and waved them wildly. She put her hands on Liberty's cheeks and pulled her in for a kiss.

            Miles let out a soft laugh. "I think we're going to be all right, Rhodes."

            Jensen smiled and squeezed his hand. "Shall we?"

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