...about the speech we're having throughout the whole week.

Okay, so. I'm good at writing. I'm great at it. I'm not gonna deny it because yes, I'm much better at communication in text and words. If you personally know me and text me often, you should know I rarely use short forms (other than "bc" and "lmao" and "tmr"), even if my text is a separated piece of message (because yes I do text in broken-up parts). I'm very particular about grammar and spelling, too.

So you could say I'm pretty much a typical INFJ personality.

But. I may be great with words on paper and screens, but give me a speech to deliver in front of an audience and I balk. I take an excruciating amount of time to memorise the entire thing, then promptly forget what I'm supposed to do once I stand in front of the cameras and watchful eyes about to pick apart every action I make.

Of course, this is whittled down to a mere group of students and classmates and friends who couldn't care less about what I said and would clap even if I spoke utter rubbish, but there's the recording camera, the three teachers (I'm praying that it isn't my old Literature teacher, or I'll probably faint) and my nervousness. 

Body language? Pfft, nah, don't know her, never will. If I don't practice my actions beforehand (ha), my arms will probably stay by my sides the entire time. What are my fingers doing? Picking at the skin at the sides of my nails. What are my legs doing? Rooting me straight to the ground and telling me to just forget about marks for body language because there's no way I can move.

Honestly, I'm horrible at face to face communication. Can't speak, can't form words properly, can't talk without wanting to collapse and die. That's why I hate speeches. I don't like the feeling of people watching me like vultures, ready to attack whenever and wherever. Heck, they could probably start pointing out my mistakes right in the middle of my speech. Yes, they won't do that, but that's a fear I have.

Speeches suck. I thought the speech unit for English last year was over. I was so relieved. Then came the syllabus for year 3 English and I glanced at it and my heart nearly stopped, holy shit, I was so frustrated. I hate speeches, and always will.

So if you see me in real life and decide to employ me or something, never ask me to do speeches in front of a huge audience. I'll work better under the comforting knowledge that my face can and will be masked when I write a paper because I'm given the time to think. Also, no memorisation.

And that's why I hate speeches. See, a whole part written about how I dislike speeches. That's why I love writing.

About the scary stuff: some of my classmates went yesterday, and they said the teachers would ask you more questions after the speech if your answer was horrible. So. The more questions they ask, the worse your answers. Yes, sure, way to boost my confidence.

Alright, done.