The next two days passed in fits and starts. Sometimes Charlie was just in a blur, time seeming to slip away from her. Other times it dragged along, leaving her stuck in a purgatory where she was expected to focus on the real world but found herself only able to think about her mother's butchered body. Or mull over what Remi had told her about revenge. Everything had become enormously draining. She even found it impossible to enjoy her time at the hospital.

Hard as she tried to hide it, she knew that Jazira had noticed something was wrong. She just didn't know what to tell her friend. How exactly did you start that conversation? Hey, so turns out the reason I'm so out of it lately is because my mom was slashed to ribbons by some gang my mobster boyfriend doesn't like.

Definitely not.

"Have you applied for an internship yet?"

The deep voice behind her nearly made her jump out of her skin from where she was double-checking the contents of a crash-cart. She turned to find Dr. Traven watching her, a mask around his neck and a surgical cap still on his head.

"Are you going to or coming from?" she asked. She didn't remember an emergency surgery being organized, but frankly she wasn't sure if she would have noticed a dancing elephant with purple stripes waltz its way down the corridor.

Traven looked down at his green scrubs, frowning slightly. When he looked back up at her, she gestured to her own head to indicate his surgical cap. He reached up and removed it. "We had a car-wreck earlier, before you got in. Must have forgot I was wearing it."

"Anything serious?" she asked, trying to rustle up some interest. She found herself in the odd predicament of knowing she should find this interesting, but unable to actually feel that interest.

"Nah," Traven said with a shrug. "Are you tryin' to avoid the question, Charlie?"

She blinked, struggling to keep her mind from wandering back to that morgue. What had he asked her? 

Traven gave her a bemused look before repeating his question. "Have you applied for an internship yet?"

"Oh." Charlie frowned, trying to think. "No. Not yet. I...I think I wanted to get the first semester under my belt before I do that."

Traven nodded. "That's understandable. Just make sure you don't miss an opportunity. I'd sorta like to keep you around, kid." He grinned at her, then sighed when his name echoed from the intercom. "Duty calls," he said, giving her a wink. "Remember what I said."

The only answer she could dredge up was a nod as she watched him jog back down the hall toward the front of the hospital. It was impossible to think about something so normal. Especially when everything else in her life seemed so insane by comparison. 

Maybe its not everything else, she thought. Maybe I'm just crazy.

Like she was trying to prove her own point, a smile twitched at the corner of her mouth. She found herself grimly amused by the idea for a brief moment before the feeling slipped away, leaving her once more in the fog that had kept her trapped since she'd seen her mother's body.

Charlie turned and knelt in front of the crash-cart again, counting vials of vasopressin. Then she checked the syringes of epinephrine. Then the lidocaine. And when she finished with that cart, she moved onto the next, absently folding and unfolding the checklist Mia, the nurse in charge, had given her.

Lately, her days seemed like they never wanted to end. When it finally did, Charlie made her way as quickly as she could out of the hospital. The late summer heat washed over her, the sun bright off the white concrete. Charlie squinted and lifted her hand to shield her eyes, her steps slowing as she waited for her eyes to adjust to the sunshine.

"Charlie!"

At her name, she turned to find Tanya coming toward her, weaving through the other people on the sidewalk outside the hospital. When she reached her, she extended her hand, offering a coffee cup. Charlie automatically took it from her, but other than that, could do little more than stare at her old friend.

Tanya blew out a breath, tilting her head back to stare up at the hospital. Then she grinned at Charlie, a dimple showing in her left cheek. "You always said you'd be a famous doctor."

Charlie took a sip of the coffee, trying not to grimace at the too-sweet latte as she struggled to get her brain to actually function. "Just a doctor," she said. "And I'm not even that yet. Just a student."

"Just a medical student," Tanya corrected. "Right?"

Charlie frowned, paranoia singing through her veins. "How did you know that?" Had Tanya been checking up on her? Had the FBI?

But all Tanya did was laugh. "Come on, Charlie. You're practically a genius. There's no way it took you six years to get your undergrad."

"I had to work for about a year and a half before I could save enough to get started."Charlie swirled the coffee around, the ice clicking gently against the plastic cup. "Genius doesn't matter so much as how many classes you can afford every semester."

"True," Tanya said with a conceding nod. "But I'm still right, aren't I?"

A snort escaped her before she realized it. "As usual." Then she narrowed her eyes. "What are you doing here, anyway?" Shock coursed through her and she checked her watch, wondering if she'd somehow lost two whole hours. 

But it only read four o'clock. She still had those two hours before she was supposed to meet Tanya for dinner.

"I'm early," Tanya said, sounding apologetic. "I was hoping to catch you here."

Charlie slowly lowered her arm. "How did you know I was at this hospital?"

Now Tanya looked outright confused. She pointed up at the sign above them. "This is the hospital connected to LSU, right? That's where you always said you wanted to go. I just assumed you got there."

"Why would you assume that?" A small voice in the back of her head warned that she was being too defensive. She took a deep breath. "I just mean..."

Tanya patted her shoulder. "I grew up on the same street as you, Charlie. I always believed you when you said you'd get out of there. That we both would." She gestured down to the dark blue blazer and skirt she was wearing. "Now I'm working for the FBI."

Charlie took another breath, trying to calm her suddenly rattled nerves. Dredging up a smile, she said, "Which is a lot more impressive than just getting into med school. I mean, you're pretty young to be an agent, right?"

It didn't surprise her, though. Tanya had always been the type to reach for the highest possible star and had the work ethic to get herself there. Still, it was impressive.

Tanya waved a hand, looking embarrassed. "I just got lucky. Met the right people, you know?"

The scholarship probably didn't hurt anything, Charlie thought, even as she said something else congratulatory. She shook her head at herself, not wanting to let her jealousy get the better of her right now.

"Anyway," Tanya said, drawing Charlie's attention back to the conversation. "You were wondering why I wanted to find you here, right?"

Charlie smiled. "You did catch me by surprise. Is everything all right?" Her stomach sank as she considered why Tanya might be here. Images of her mother's dead body flashed behind her eyes. "You didn't need me for anything else concerning my mother, did you?" 

Remi's warning rang in her head, along with a dozen regrets about how cold she had acted upon hearing the news of her mother's murder.

She couldn't help but be suspicious. Being ambushed really didn't help anything, even though Tanya was being nothing but friendly. Maybe I'm just getting paranoid. Charlie stifled a grim smile, instead trying to force her expression to something between confused and concerned.

Tanya's smile faded. "No, I'm not here because of that." She touched Charlie's arm again. "How are you?"

As soon as the question was asked, Charlie's mind seemed to cloud over. It was easier to succumb to the fog than to actually consider an answer. After too long of a pause, Charlie just shrugged. She took another sip of coffee, not registering the taste so much as the sensation of cold on her tongue. Tanya bit her lip and looked down, her hair falling over her shoulder in a satiny sheet.

"I'm really sorry about your mom, Charlie," she said softly. "When they said who it might be, I wanted to be the one to come talk to you."

She shrugged again. "We both knew it was gonna happen. With the way she lived—"

"Not like that, though," Tanya said, an upset wrinkle appearing between her brows. "It's not the same thing."

"Isn't it?" Charlie glanced up. "We make choices, Tanya. And those choices have consequences. That's just how it is."

"Your mother didn't deserve what happened to her, Charlie. No one deserves to die like that." 

Charlie cocked her head. "Is that why came you came early? To tell me she didn't deserve what happened to her?"

"Do you think she did?" Tanya looked appalled.

Charlie shook her head. "That's not..." Her words faded away as she frowned. Then she closed her eyes and sighed. "I'm not sure what you want me to say, Tanya. I don't know what you were expecting. You know what she was like. You know I couldn't wait to get shut of her. Nothing changed just because you went out of state. Nothing changed just because I moved out. The only difference was I wasn't around for her to scream at because Jesse had landed his ass in prison again. Or for her to beg me to deal with her fucking dealer when he came looking for what she owed. I wasn't around enough for her to beat the hell out of me!"

Realizing her voice had risen almost to a shout, she took another deep breath. Tanya's lips were pressed into a thin line, her eyes wide and shocked. The outburst had taken Charlie by surprise too and she shook her head. "I'm sorry. It's not your fault." She turned away. "Maybe dinner isn't such a great idea. Not right now."

She managed about four steps before the tap of heels sounded behind her. "Charlie, wait." Tanya grabbed her arm, gently turning her back around. It took a moment before Charlie could bring herself to look at her old friend. It surprised her when it looked like Tanya was near tears.

"I'm sorry," Charlie said again, feeling mechanical as a doll. "I just... It's just been harder than I expected."

Tanya dropped her hand, swallowing hard as she seemed to gather herself. "I don't really know what I expected either, honestly. I just...wanted to make sure you were doing okay." When Charlie didn't respond, she hurried on. "That's why I came here. I'm actually going to have to ask for a rain check for dinner." She held up her cup. "I do have time for a coffee break though?"

Relief swept through her at that. Coffee was a much smaller commitment than dinner. Charlie nodded and gestured for Tanya to follow her toward a bench sitting in the shade cast by the hospital.

They sat for a while, chatting about innocuous things—how the weather was the same, if their old hangouts were still around, what was old and what was new around the city. They talked a little about Tanya's time training at Quantico and Charlie's acceptance into medical school. Charlie was pleasantly surprised to find that, for the most part, a conversation with Tanya was just as comfortable as it had been back when they were kids.

The coffee was nearly gone when the conversation took a more dangerous turn.

"So," Tanya said, the tone of her voice delicate, "I guess it was sort of naive of me to think you and Grayson would beat the odds."

Charlie tensed. "I guess so," she managed through clenched teeth.

There was a silence more awkward than the last few had been. Then Tanya sighed. "Honestly, I want to ask what happened. I mean, you and Gray were—"

"Not as perfect for each other as we all thought, myself included," Charlie interrupted. She gave Tanya a small smile. "It wasn't anything tragic. We just sort of...drifted, I guess. Eventually we both had to wake up. To move on." 

It wasn't a lie. Just a watering down. They had drifted apart. And Charlie had woken up to the fact that she couldn't continue to use Grayson as she had been. It had been more traumatic than tragic, but honestly no more so than a number of other events in her life. Her smile grew a little. Enough time had passed that she honestly found it all just the tiniest bit entertaining. Everything about that day had just been so dramatic.

"I take it that smile means you're not too torn up about it," Tanya said, leaning back. "When did you guys break up?"

Charlie's brows furrowed as she tried to remember. It felt like it had been years since that day. "Um, a few months ago," she said. "Something like that."

"Definitely not torn up about it," Tanya noted. Then she raised an eyebrow. "Plus, I mean, you're engaged to that guy. So I guess that says something."

The reminder of Remi's casual lie made her insides squirm. She couldn't tell if it was because he'd lied to the FBI, or because of the contents of the lie.

"It's something." Charlie rubbed at her left hand, suddenly aware of the bare skin at the base of her ring finger.

They again lapsed into silence, Charlie popping the top off her empty coffee. She tipped the cup up, absently chewing on an ice cube. Tanya played with a strand of hair, letting Charlie know that she wanted to say something she thought might upset Charlie. 

It was strange, the habits people hung on to. It was strange, the things people remembered.

"What is it?" she asked with a smile, even as her insides turned cold in a way that had nothing to do with the ice cube.

Tanya bit at her lower lip. "You said you and Grayson only broke up a couple months ago," she began slowly.

"Yeah?" Charlie drew the question out, already dreading the turn this was about to take.

"So..." Tanya sighed, running a hand over her hair. "Were you cheating on him with this new guy?"

The question struck Charlie dumb for a moment. Then she barked out a laugh. One was followed by another until she had to press her hand against her mouth, trying to stifle the sound as she laughed. When she had herself back under control, she shook her head, wiping at her eyes.

"No. No, I was not cheating on him." She tucked a strand of loose hair behind her ear. "He was cheating on me." She popped another ice cube into her mouth. "I started seeing Remi right after that."

Tanya covered her eyes with a hand, leaning on the bench's armrest. "Lord Almighty. Christ, Charlie, I'm sorry."

"You couldn't have known." Charlie crunched down on the ice. "You've been gone a long time, Tanya."

"Yeah," she said, dropping her hand and looking across the street toward the shops on the other side of the road. "I wasn't planning on coming back."

Charlie raised her cup, then slowly lowered it. An opportunity seemed to have presented itself. But was it smart of her to take it? Then again, how many smart decisions had she made lately? Making her choice, she asked, "What brought you back, then?"

Immediately she swore at herself, wondering if that was too obvious.

When Tanya didn't reply at first, instead seeming lost in thought, Charlie touched her shoulder. Tanya started and turned to her, brows furrowed in confusion. Raising an eyebrow, Charlie repeated her question.

"Oh." Tanya turned back to the street, frowning. Then she sighed. "I just joined the organized crime unit."

Charlie blood turned to ice, her hands shaking slightly. She put her cup down, resting her hands carefully in her lap, struggling to stay relaxed. "Well that sounds rather impressive." She hesitated a moment. "So...how did you know about my mother? Seems more of a violent crime."

"No doubt," Tanya said, nodding. She set her coffee cup down as well. "The two have a tendency to overlap, which...is why I knew about it. Her case belongs to us." At Charlie's raised brows, she clarified, "Mine and Clark's, uh, Agent Devron's."

Charlie sat back, looking up toward the blue sky above them. "Should I expect more visits from you about her?"

Tanya's brief silence made her heart race, but she bit down on her tongue. If she'd learned anything from Remi in all their time spent arguing or negotiating, she knew that it was important to know when to hold your tongue. 

"I don't know," Tanya finally said. "I don't think so. I mean, we know you had nothing to do with it. This wasn't local."

You have no idea how right you are, Charlie thought dryly. Or maybe she did. Charlie chewed at a tag of dry skin on her lower lip. It was likely that Tanya knew a sight more about Remi's business than she did.

"Well, either way." Charlie managed a smile. "You know where to find me."

"Yeah." Tanya traced the rim of her coffee cup with a finger. She shook her head. "I...I don't mean to change the subject here, but it's gonna bother me until I ask."

Her chest tightened down again, but she nodded. "All right."

"How did you..." Tanya shifted in her seat. "How did you meet Remi? That's his name, right?"

Charlie nodded. She lifted her cup, realized it was empty and set it back down. "By accident, mostly." She licked her lips. "He wasn't supposed to be anything more than one night."

Tanya ran her hand through her hair, looking extremely uncomfortable. Good. Charlie hoped she was uncomfortable. She sure as hell was.

"Are you sure you really know him?" Her voice was quiet. "I mean, you said you only left Grayson a few months ago. And...now you're engaged to him?"

"I suppose I know him about as well as I knew Grayson." Charlie shook her head. "Maybe better. I was engaged to him too, you know. At least Remi is honest about what he is." She allowed a small smile. "With me, at any rate."

"And what is he?"

Charlie glanced up to find Tanya watching her with keen, dark eyes. A dozen possible answers danced through her head. Honesty was not the best policy here, but an outright lie didn't seem like a good idea either. 

"An investor." 

Tanya's eyebrows shot up again.

"He deals with money." Charlie grimaced. "All my life I complained about rich assholes." She rubbed at her left ring finger. "Guess I'm a hypocrite."

"We all are at one point or another." Tanya wrinkled her nose. "I said quite a few things about cops I'd be embarrassed to repeat now, if you'll recall." She checked her watch and sighed. "I'm gonna have to get going. No rest for the wicked."

Charlie lifted her cup in salute. "Thanks for the coffee. And the chat."

Tanya stood, straightening her blazer. She looked down at Charlie and offered a smile. "Next time, we'll do dinner."

"Sure." Charlie smiled. "That'd be great."

As Tanya turned and began to walk away, Charlie stood up. She watched as Tanya headed toward the parking garage next to the hospital. As she walked, she lifted a phone to her ear. At that moment, the entire conversation caught up to Charlie in a crashing wave. Her heart kicked into a gallop and her head spun, cold sweat breaking out across her body.

She sank back in her seat and closed her eyes, breathing deeply. After a moment, she realized that she'd been scared that whole conversation. She didn't really know why, exactly. There hadn't been anything overtly wrong with the conversation. Maybe it was just because the topic had wandered onto Remi.

"Charlie?"

Her eyes flew open as a jolt ran through her body. She looked up to find Moira standing in front of her, a black German Shepherd at her side. The Irishwoman was watching Tanya over the rim of her sunglasses. Charlie got to her feet and began walking toward the streetcar stop. "What are you doing here, Moira?" She stopped dead and whirled around. "Is he watching me? Making sure I don't take my chance to run to my FBI friend?"

Moira snorted and caught up with her, pushing her aviators back up her nose. "No. Besides, I've better things to do than watch that fine ass of yours."

"Thanks," Charlie said. "I'll go back to my original question. What are you doing here?"

Moira grabbed her elbow and led her across the street. "He said you'd be a wee bit cross. There's no call to shoot the messenger. He just asked me to give you a ride home, is all."

"Why?" When Moira just looked at her, she rolled her eyes. "I have to ask him."

"You catch on quick, darlin'." Moira unlocked her truck, opening the back door. The dog jumped up onto the seat before sticking his head out of the open window, large ears pricked and eyes trained on Charlie.

When they were driving away from the hospital, Charlie turned toward the other woman. "Are you really going to keep me in the dark, Moira? Look, I know he's been nervous about my dinner with Tanya, but that isn't happening. He can rest easy that I won't spill all his deepest, darkest secrets."

"Do you know all his deepest, darkest secrets?" Moira asked, cocking her head.

"I suppose I know my share," Charlie said begrudgingly. 

"I suppose you do." Moira smirked, lifting a hand to scratch the dog's head as he rested his chin on her shoulder from the backseat. "He told me that he wanted to tell you himself. All I know is he wanted you to come by the house, but seeing as how you've yet to buy a damn phone, he has to send actual messengers."

Charlie slumped back in the seat, just to have a dog tongue lap at her cheek. She rubbed the spit away before scratching the top of the Shepherd's nose.

"What, no blistering reply?" Moira teased.

"I'll save those for him," Charlie said with a sigh, closing her eyes.

"Thank you." Moira's voice was prim. "Wise choice, not shooting the messenger."

"Because that's kind of a dick move, or because that messenger is you?"

"Take your pick," Moira said with a grin, turning toward the Garden District.

"Well, that's probably the best choice I've made today." Charlie opened her eyes, rubbing at her temple. She stared blankly at the mansions slipping by. "It's for the best."

"And why's that?" Moira huffed a laugh. "You don't usually take being fetched so well."

Charlie nodded in acknowledgement. "We need to talk anyway. I think...I think we need to decide a few things."

"Oh?" Moira turned onto Prytania. "What's that then?"

What she'd said to Tanya echoed in her head. We make choices. Well, she had certainly done that today. Charlie leaned her head against the window. "I think we're going to have to evaluate some of our choices."