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Wooyoung hated the pub as soon as he stepped in. It wasn't the place itself—dimly lit with warm wooden tones and buzzing with conversations—but what it represented, what it reminded him. The bar counter, polished but worn, was where he had seen San for the first time. The stage, now empty and dark, where everything had started—the exact place where Wooyoung's life took a turn. But now everything looked different, full of faces he couldn't recognize, cold and distant.

"Are you gonna stand there all night?" Hwasa's voice cut through his spiral. She leaned against the bar, her arms crossed, her gaze sharp as ever. Hwasa's presence had always been formidable, even when she wasn't glaring at him like he was a particularly annoying fly.

Wooyoung forced a smile and stepped further inside, shoving his hands into his coat pockets. "Just taking it all in," he replied, his tone light but brittle.

Hwasa raised an eyebrow. "Taking in what? The smell of regret and bad decisions? Fits you"

He flinched but covered it with a laugh. "Wow, straight to the jugular. Nice to see you, too"

"Cut the crap, Wooyoung," she snapped, pushing off the bar and stepping closer. Hwasa was shorter than him, but she had a way of towering over people that made Wooyoung feel small, "What are you doing here?"

"Having a drink?" he offered weakly, gesturing to the bar.

"Bullshit," her eyes were like knives, slicing through his facade. "You're here for San"

His forced smile faltered, and for a moment, he couldn't meet her gaze. Then he squared his shoulders and forced himself to look at her, "Maybe I am. So what?"

Hwasa's lips curled into a humorless smile, "So what? Do you even hear yourself? You've been jerking him around for months, pushing him away like he's the problem. And now you waltz in here like you have the right to?"

"I..." He trailed off, his words catching in his throat. Hwasa's accusation wasn't far from the truth, and it stung because of it. "You don't understand," he said finally, his voice quieter.

"You're right," she said, her voice cold. "I don't understand. I don't understand why you're so hell-bent on ruining something good. San doesn't deserve this"

The words hit like a slap, and Wooyoung's hands clenched into fists in his pockets. "You think I don't know that?" he said, his voice trembling. "You think I don't know what he deserves? That's why I..."

"That's why you what? Keep breaking his heart? Grow up, Wooyoung"

"I'm trying!" he snapped, the words exploding out of him before he could stop them. The bar's background noise seemed to fade for a moment, and a few heads turned their way. Wooyoung's face burned, but he didn't back down. "I'm trying," he repeated, quieter this time, "You don't know what it's like... to feel like you're the one breaking everything you touch" Wooyoung swallowed hard, his fingers clenching at his sides. "I'm not trying to hurt him. I'm trying to figure out how to be someone who doesn't"

Hwasa's expression didn't waver, her arms crossed tightly over her chest. "Trying doesn't mean much if it's all in your head, Wooyoung. San's been left dealing with the mess while you're playing this back-and-forth game with yourself. Do you even understand what you've done to him?"

Her words felt like shards of glass, cutting into the cracks he was already trying to hold together. "I do," Wooyoung said, his voice low but steady. "I know I've hurt him. I know I've made every wrong decision. But it's not because I don't care. It's because I care too much. I thought I was doing the right thing by staying away—by not dragging him down with me"

"Is that what you think he needs?" she shot back. "For you to decide what's best for him without even giving him a say? That's not caring, Wooyoung. That's just selfish"

The accusation knocked the wind out of him, and for a moment, he couldn't reply. His gaze dropped to the floor, shame and frustration warring within him. "You think I don't know that?" he said finally, his voice trembling. "Every single day, I wonder if I've done the right thing or if I've just made everything worse. I've been trying to protect him from all the things I've ruined, but... you're right. Maybe I've only been protecting myself"

Hwasa's eyes narrowed, her voice sharp as a blade. "You think?" she said. "Let me tell you something, Wooyoung. San doesn't need someone who's perfect. He needs someone who's honest—someone who's willing to fight for him. Can you be that for him? Or are you going to keep running in circles until he's finally done waiting?"

"That's why I'm here. I want to fix this," he said, his voice firm despite the tremor threatening to break through. "I don't know if I can, but I want to try. Not for me. For him. He deserves that much"

Hwasa studied him, her gaze searching his face as if trying to measure the truth in his words. After a long pause, she let out a soft scoff. "Well, then start proving it," she said, the bite still in her tone, though it softened just enough to feel like a push rather than a slap. "He's not here tonight, by the way. So if you're looking for him, you're out of luck"

"Do you know where he is?" Wooyoung asked, his voice quieter now. Vulnerable. "I tried to call him, but his phone is off"

Hwasa hesitated, her jaw tightening briefly before she finally answered, "He said he needed to clear his mind, but I don't know where you can find him, I'm sorry"

Wooyoung's heart gave a quick jolt, but the tension in his chest quickly turned into something else—something that felt like certainty. He knew exactly where San was. The moment he heard the words, his mind raced, remembering the place, the trees, the lake...

"I know where he is," Wooyoung said, his voice tight but steady. He didn't waste a moment. "Thanks"

He turned and stepped out of the pub, the autumn air brushing against his skin, warm for now, as if the season hadn't fully let go of the lingering summer heat. His breath caught in his throat. He didn't have time to waste. He was going to find San, and he was going to fix this.

He hailed a taxi, the engine's hum a soft rhythm as they pulled away from the pub. The streets blurred by as the car sped through the city, but Wooyoung's thoughts were elsewhere. His mind replayed the last time he had been there—when he and San had sat beneath the very tree he was sure San was under now. It felt like a lifetime ago, though it had only been a few months.

He could still see it all so clearly—San, leaning back against the rough bark, his eyes half-lidded, lost in thoughts. The way the soft light of the setting sun had turned his skin golden, casting shadows that danced like whispers across his face. Wooyoung remembered the warmth of the air that day, like a promise of something good, something right. They hadn't spoken much, just sat there, side by side, letting the silence stretch comfortably between them. But it hadn't been awkward; it had been easy. There was an unspoken understanding, a quiet peace in just being together. The weight of the world outside had seemed far away, and Wooyoung had felt, for the first time in a long while, that maybe he didn't need to be anything more than what he was in that moment.

The taxi turned a corner, and Wooyoung's pulse quickened. The place was coming into view, a familiar quiet that was so different from the city's hustle. He felt his heart shift as the cab slowed to a stop.

He paid the driver and stepped out, his feet landing on the soft ground. The air here was different—calmer, untouched by the noise of the city. The wind swept through the trees, carrying with it the same soft sound Wooyoung remembered so vividly from that day. It was like a welcome, as if the place itself was drawing him in, urging him to walk toward the tree. His feet moved of their own accord, guided by instinct, by memory.

This was where San would be. Wooyoung didn't question it—he simply walked, his steps sure despite the uncertainty swirling inside him. He wasn't sure how San would react, what he would say, but for the first time in months, he wasn't running. He was here, and he was ready to face whatever came next.

And then, he saw him.

As expected San was sitting beneath the tree, his back to Wooyoung, staring out at the lake. Wooyoung's heart skipped a beat, his breath catching in his throat. The sight was almost too much to bear—the same scene, the same position, as if no time had passed at all. But so much had changed. Wooyoung took a step forward, the memory of their last shared moment here flooding him again: the hesitant brush of San's hand against his cheek, the warmth of the touch that had lingered long after he had pulled away.

His heart ached. He had been waiting for this moment for so long, but now that it was here, it felt surreal. San, so still, so far away, looked like a ghost of the person he once knew. His once vibrant, carefree demeanor was gone. There was a weariness in the way San held himself, a burden in the slump of his shoulders. His face was pale, thinner than it had been the last time Wooyoung saw him. Dark circles under his eyes told the story of sleepless nights, of a soul that had been worn down by something far deeper than physical exhaustion.

San didn't move, didn't acknowledge Wooyoung's presence, and that stillness hit harder than anything Wooyoung had imagined. For a moment, Wooyoung stood frozen, watching the small movements of San's body—how his chest rose and fell slowly with each breath, how his hands, clasped loosely in his lap, trembled slightly. He felt like a trespasser, like someone who had no right to intrude on such a private moment.

But he couldn't stay silent any longer.

"San..." Wooyoung's voice cracked, low and unsure, as though even calling his name might break something. His throat tightened, and for a second, he wondered if this was all a mistake. Maybe this wasn't the right time, but the longer he stood there, the more he realized that it could never be the right time. Time had already slipped away, stolen too much, and Wooyoung wasn't willing to let it take anything else. Not San. Not them.

San stiffened at the sound of his name, his body tensing like he was ready to flee. For a moment, Wooyoung thought he might, but then, San turned slowly, his eyes wide with disbelief. There was fear there—deep, raw fear that Wooyoung hadn't expected. His lips parted as though he wanted to say something, but no sound came out. He stood instead, slowly and with shaky legs, looking at Wooyoung like he was looking at a ghost.

"Hey," Wooyoung spoke again, he took a step forward, more sure this time. He had to do this. He had to make San understand, "I knew you would—"

"What are you doing here? What do you want from me, Wooyoung?" San stopped him, his voice was flebile and tired, like Wooyoung had never heard it before.

Wooyoung froze at the words, every part of him wincing at the vulnerability lacing them. It felt like he had just been slapped, the exhaustion and hurt in San's voice cutting deeper than anything he could have imagined. His throat tightened again, and he swallowed hard, gathering his thoughts.

"I came to—" Wooyoung stuttered, his voice barely above a whisper. "I came to apologize," he finally managed to say, his eyes never left San's, trying to convey everything he couldn't put into words. "I'm so sorry, San. I never meant to hurt you. I never wanted to leave you... but I was scared. Scared of dragging you down with me. I thought if I let you go, if I pushed you away, I was protecting you"

San looked away, his expression unreadable. There was something raw in his gaze, something that flickered between anger and pain, but the underlying fear was impossible to miss. He let out a short, bitter laugh, his hands clenching into fists by his sides. "Protecting me?" he repeated, the disbelief in his voice sharp. "By pushing me away? By disappearing? You think that's protecting me?"

Wooyoung flinched at the sharpness of his words. He reached out, but San pulled back, his body taut with the weight of everything unsaid between them. He had to make him understand.

"I thought... I thought I was making things easier for you," Wooyoung continued, his voice breaking with the weight of his admission. "I thought that if I disappeared you could just forget me and go on with your life"

San shook his head, his eyes turning glassy, like he was on the verge of breaking. "You think I could just forget about you?" he whispered, voice trembling. "You think I could just... let you go like that? After everything we've been through?"

Wooyoung's heart broke as he saw the depth of San's pain, the love that was still there, despite everything. He opened his mouth to speak, but no words came. Instead, he stepped closer, his chest tightening as the tears he had been holding back for so long began to surface.

"I was wrong," Wooyoung whispered, his voice full of regret. "I should have stayed. I should have fought for us, for you. I was so scared, San. Scared of hurting you even more. But in the end, I only hurt you more by leaving"

San's breath hitched, and he shook his head, as though he couldn't quite process what Wooyoung was saying. His lips parted, and Wooyoung could see the tremor in his hands, the way his body was trembling from the weight of everything.

"So now you're back?" San scoffed, but Wooyoung noticed how his lower lip shook, "Now you're back and we can be happy again? How long will it last this time? How long before you decide to push me away again?"

"I promise you, I'm here to stay. I know I can't fix what's happened," Wooyoung said, his voice low and full of regret. "But I'm here because I want to try. I want to fix it, if you'll let me. I know I can't undo the past, but I want to make things right. I want you, San. I want us"

San's lips parted, and for a brief moment, he seemed to hesitate. His eyes were wide, filled with confusion and raw vulnerability. He didn't move, just stood there, like he was weighing something heavy in his mind.

"I can't... I can't keep doing this," San said, his voice breaking. "I've been waiting for you. But every time I let my guard down, you push me away. Every time I let myself believe, you pull back. It's killing me, Wooyoung. I'm exhausted from this. It feels like I'm stuck in a loop, always starting over and never getting anywhere, and I don't know how much longer I can keep trying if you're just going to leave again"

Wooyoung's heart twisted at San's words, the weight of everything hitting him like a crashing wave. He took another step forward, his voice raw with emotion.

"I know I've hurt you. I know I've made you doubt me. But I'm not leaving this time. I'm not running away, San. Not ever again," he paused, his voice cracking under the weight of everything he wanted to say, but he couldn't keep hiding anymore. "I love you. I've always loved you, and I'm so sorry for making you think that you weren't enough. You're more than enough. You are everything to me"

San's breath hitched again, and his shoulders trembled as if he was about to break. He looked at Wooyoung, his eyes searching, still hesitant, as though he couldn't believe it. His gaze softened for just a moment, and then, with a quiet whisper, he said, "How can you be sure? After everything... how can you be sure?"

Wooyoung stepped closer, his hand trembling as he reached out, as if trying to close the distance between them, to bridge the gap he had created. "Because..." His voice cracked, thick with the weight of everything he had held back for so long. "When I look at you, I don't just see someone I love, I see my future. A future I never thought I could have. You're the only one who doesn't look at me like I'm broken or like I'm something to fix. You look at me like I'm... enough. You see me. Not the mess I made of myself, not the mistakes, but me. And it's always been you, San. Just you. Every moment, every thought, every part of me... it's always been you. I look at you, and everything I've ever wanted, everything I've ever dreamed of, is right there in your eyes. You're everything. And I was so fucking scared. I pushed you away because I was terrified of losing you, but I've already lost so much, and the thought of losing you too... it's unbearable. Please, San, I can't keep losing you. Not again. I—" His voice faltered, the tears threatening to break free as he struggled to say the words. "I'm here now. I'm here to stay. And I know it's too late to take back the pain I've caused, but if you can still find it in your heart to trust me, I swear to God, I'll spend the rest of my life making it right. Just... don't leave me. Please"

San closed his eyes, his face pinched with the pain of everything he had endured. The way Wooyoung was looking at him now—so open, so vulnerable—made it almost impossible for him to hold onto his anger. But the fear, the hurt, the doubt—it was all still there, swirling inside him, making it hard to breathe.

"I can't promise it will be easy," Wooyoung continued, his voice barely above a whisper. "But I want to try. I want us to try"

San's eyes opened slowly, and for the first time, there was a flicker of hope in them. He took a shaky breath, his lips trembling, and for a moment, Wooyoung thought he might just walk away. But then, San reached out, his hand shaking as he cupped Wooyoung's face, he moved so slowly like he was scared Wooyoung could move away. But Wooyoung didn't and San's eyes, now so close, searched his as if trying to find the truth in them.

"Do you really mean it?" San asked, his voice barely audible.

Wooyoung nodded, his throat tight. "I do. I'm here. And I'm not going anywhere"

Their breaths were shaky, Wooyoung could feel it in the way San's chest rose and fell unevenly against his, but he couldn't wait any longer. He closed his eyes for a moment, gathering his courage, before he dared to lean in just slightly. San's breath hitched, and for the briefest of seconds, Wooyoung thought he might retreat. But then, there was a subtle shift in San's posture, a change in his body language that Wooyoung could feel in the air between them. He wasn't pulling away. He was waiting—for Wooyoung, for the right moment.

Wooyoung's lips hovered inches from his, the anticipation hanging heavy in the air. San's eyes flickered down to Wooyoung's mouth, his pupils dilating, his breath coming faster. And then, in a moment that seemed to stretch for eternity, Wooyoung closed the gap between them, his lips brushing softly against San's.

It was like the world stopped.

The kiss was tentative at first—soft, unsure, as though neither of them could quite believe that was real. But then Wooyoung felt it—fireworks. A burst of warmth in his chest, spreading like a wildfire through his veins, settling deep in his stomach. It was as though everything inside him had been set alight, the yearning he'd kept hidden for so long finally consuming him.

San's body reacted instinctively, stumbling forward just a step, his hand sliding from Wooyoung's face to wrap gently around his back. Their lips parted, but Wooyoung could hear San's soft laugh, a sound laced with disbelief, as though neither of them could quite understand what was happening but couldn't stop it.

"God," San whispered, his voice cracking, and for a moment, they just stood there, laughing through their tears. "I never thought this would happen... never thought you'd actually—" his voice broke off as he kissed Wooyoung again, more desperately this time, a kiss filled with months, years of longing. "I love you so much. I loved you since the first moment, I—"

Wooyoung's heart stuttered in his chest at the weight of San's words, but before he could respond, San was kissing him again, deeper, more urgently this time. The pressure of their mouths pressed together, each kiss a quiet declaration of everything that had been left unsaid. Wooyoung clung to him, his hands sliding up to tangle in San's hair, holding him close like he was afraid this moment would slip through his fingers.

"I love you too," Wooyoung managed to say between breaths, his voice thick with emotion. "I've always loved you too"

San's breath hitched, his forehead pressing against Wooyoung's as he tried to steady himself, his chest heaving with the force of his emotions. "Always?" he whispered, his voice barely audible, but the raw hope in his tone made Wooyoung's throat tighten.

"Always," Wooyoung affirmed, his lips brushing against San's as he spoke. The tenderness of the moment gave way to something deeper, something undeniable, as San's hands roamed from Wooyoung's back to his waist, his grip firm and desperate, like he was afraid Wooyoung might disappear if he let go.

Their lips met again, the kiss more fervent this time, a collision of love, relief, and unbridled passion. San's hands cupped Wooyoung's face, his thumbs brushing against tear-streaked cheeks as he tilted Wooyoung's head to deepen the kiss. Wooyoung gasped softly, his fingers threading through San's hair and tugging just enough to elicit a low, guttural sound from San that sent a shiver down Wooyoung's spine.

And then it happened. Wooyoung's heart raced, not just from the intensity of San's touch but from the realization settling deep in his chest. He wanted this. He wanted San.

For so long, physical contact had been something Wooyoung endured, something he gave away out of necessity, not desire. It had always felt hollow, like a transaction—a reminder of all the times he'd been nothing more than a body, a means to an end. The thought of intimacy, of letting someone truly see him, had always filled him with dread, with the weight of rejection and shame.

But this was different. San was different.

With San, there was no expectation, no obligation. Just love. The way San looked at him, touched him, kissed him, spoke his name—it wasn't like anything Wooyoung had ever known. It wasn't about taking; it was about giving, about sharing. And for the first time in his life, Wooyoung wanted to give himself to someone. He wanted to feel what it was like to be truly loved, not just physically but completely. He wanted to know the weight of San's body against his, to feel San inside him, to be intimate not out of necessity but out of love.

The thought sent a shiver through him, a mixture of fear and exhilaration, but the fear didn't outweigh the want. Not this time.

"San," he whispered, his voice shaking with the storm of emotions threatening to consume him.

San pulled back slightly, his brows furrowing in concern as he looked down at Wooyoung. "What's wrong?" he asked softly, his thumb brushing against Wooyoung's cheek.

Wooyoung shook his head, a shaky laugh escaping him. "Nothing," he said, his voice breaking on the word. "Everything's... everything's perfect."

His grip on San tightened, his nails grazing against the nape of San's neck starting their kiss again. He'd waited for this—dreamed of this—for so long that the reality of it felt almost overwhelming. He let out a quiet moan at the feeling of their bodies pressed together so intimately, his head falling back as San's lips moved from his mouth to the curve of his jaw, then to the sensitive skin just below his ear. The grass beneath their feet was soft, cool, and inviting, and when Wooyoung felt his knees weaken, he let himself sink to the ground, pulling San with him.

San followed without hesitation, bracing himself above Wooyoung, his arms on either side of him as he kissed him again, slower this time, savoring every second. Wooyoung's hands slid beneath San's shirt, his fingers brushing against the taut muscles of his back, the heat of his skin intoxicating. He tugged San closer, his legs tangling with San's as he arched up to deepen the kiss.

San groaned softly when Wooyoung arched against him, their hips brushing together in a way that sent a jolt of pleasure rippling through both of them. The sound of San's voice—low, needy—reverberated through Wooyoung's body, making him shiver. His breath hitched, and a soft, desperate noise escaped his lips as he clung to San, fingers gripping the fabric of his shirt as if to pull him impossibly closer.

"San," Wooyoung whispered, his voice trembling, thick with want. His hands slid beneath San's shirt again, palms pressing against heated skin as he trailed them up San's back, marveling at the warmth and strength beneath his fingertips. "I... I need you," he admitted, his words shaky but sincere, his cheeks burning from the weight of his confession.

San's breath stuttered against Wooyoung's neck, his head dropping slightly as if the words had physically affected him. Wooyoung felt emboldened, his hands wandering lower to trace the curve of San's waist, his fingers dipping just beneath the waistband of his jeans.

"I want you, Sanie," Wooyoung continued, his tone more urgent now. "I've never wanted anything like this before. I'm aching... because I need you so bad. Please..." His voice broke, and he tugged at San's shirt, his intention clear.

San groaned again, a sound so raw and guttural that it sent another shiver racing down Wooyoung's spine. For a moment, it seemed like San might give in. His body pressed harder against Wooyoung's, his lips finding their way back to Wooyoung's, the kiss hot and desperate. San's hands roamed, one sliding to cup Wooyoung's jaw while the other clutched at his hip, pulling their bodies together.

But then, San pulled back, his breathing ragged, his forehead falling against Wooyoung's as he chuckled softly. His hands found Wooyoung's, gently stopping their insistent wandering. "Woo," San murmured, his voice shaky but laced with affection.

Wooyoung blinked up at him, his chest heaving as he tried to steady his breathing. "What...?" he asked, his voice uncertain, his fingers twitching in San's grip.

San smiled, soft and reassuring, and leaned down to press a kiss to Wooyoung's forehead. Then his nose. Then his lips—light and fleeting, like a promise. "I want this too," he admitted, his voice thick with emotion. "I want you, more than I can put into words. But..." He trailed off, his thumbs brushing soothing circles against Wooyoung's skin, just where the first pale lines of his scars began. "We've waited so long for this. Five years, Wooyoung. I've dreamed about this moment every single day, and I just... I want it to be perfect"

Wooyoung's lips parted, but no words came. The sincerity in San's voice, the tenderness in his gaze, was almost too much to bear.

"You deserve it to be perfect," San continued, his voice soft but unwavering. "We both do. And if we've waited this long, what's a little while longer?"

Wooyoung swallowed hard, his chest rising and falling with the effort of steadying his breathing. His fingers, which had been gripping San's hands moments ago, slowly loosened as San's words sank in. He turned his face slightly, his cheeks burning with embarrassment as he shifted beneath San's weight.

"I... I want it to be perfect too," Wooyoung admitted, his voice barely above a whisper. His gaze dropped to where their bodies were pressed together, the ache in his core almost unbearable. "But, San... I don't know if I can wait much longer" the admission left him feeling exposed, his face flushing even deeper as he fidgeted. "Can we... can we go?"

San's lips curled into a soft chuckle, his warm breath fanning against Wooyoung's temple. "Of course," he said gently, leaning back just enough to help Wooyoung sit up. His hands lingered on Wooyoung's waist, steadying him as they untangled from the grass.

The air was cooler now, the sun dipping low on the horizon and painting the park in hues of gold and amber. San stood, brushing off his jeans before offering Wooyoung a hand. Wooyoung hesitated for a moment, his eyes flickering upward to meet San's. It hit him all over again, like a punch to the chest—how beautiful San was. The setting sun bathed his features in warm light, highlighting the soft curve of his lips and the intensity in his dark eyes. His hair, slightly mussed from Wooyoung's hands, glowed like molten gold at the edges.

San tilted his head slightly, his brows furrowing in curiosity. "What's wrong?" he asked, his voice soft but laced with concern.

Wooyoung shook his head, his throat tightening as he struggled to find the right words. "Nothing's wrong," he murmured, his voice thick with emotion. "I just... I can't believe you're mine"

San's expression softened, his lips curving into a dimpled smile that made Wooyoung's chest ache in the best way. Without a word, San leaned down and kissed him again, tenderly, his lips lingering like he was savoring every second. When he pulled back, he rested his forehead against Wooyoung's, his breath warm against Wooyoung's cheek.

"I've always been yours," San whispered, his voice filled with quiet conviction. He pulled back just enough to meet Wooyoung's gaze, his eyes dark and intense. "And if you let me... I'll show you. Properly. That I mean it"

Wooyoung's heart swelled, his breath catching as he nodded, a small, shy smile tugging at the corners of his lips. San laughed softly, brushing a strand of hair from Wooyoung's face before taking his hand.

"Come on," San said, his voice warm and steady as he started to lead them out of the park. The sun dipped lower behind them, casting their intertwined shadows long against the grass.

And as they walked, Wooyoung couldn't help but glance over at San again, his chest tightening with the overwhelming realization that, for the first time, he felt truly safe—truly loved. But most of all, he believed he deserved it all.

☾

A/N—This is us right now I believe:

It took them 25 chapters but we've finally made it ladies and gents, hope it was worth the wait! Be ready 'cause it's not stopping here eheheheh