I can feel the blood rushing through my veins again, which gives way for the rush of adrenaline that clouds my mind in the most wonderful way. It's like nothing ever changed, like I've been in ANBU all my life and never skipped a beat.

The chakra blades no longer feel strange in my hands and instead feel all-too wonderful and familiar. Like when you talk to someone you haven't talked to in a long time but it feels like no time has passed.

Like an old friend.

I turn over my shoulder for only a moment to catch sight of Tenzo, who skillfully injects one of the shinobi guards with a sleeping medication. The guard's body falls to the ground with a quiet thunk and we move forward. There are guards at every corner of this feudal home. One of the ANBU from the infiltration unit leads us through the twisting, confusing corridors with confidence. He knows it like the back of his hand, after studying the map Captain Nara gave us just this morning when he saw us off.

I do a mental check to make sure all the members we entered with are still here.

Tenzo, filling the position of the general, multi-skilled ANBU. He's like our backup and assistant, in case something goes wrong. He'd be the one to convey messages to back to Konoha if there was a need. Should things go terribly wrong, he's ordered to leave the scene and immediately get word to Konoha. Since starting this mission, Tenzo hasn't said a single word to me. I guess everything is different now with the new system. Teams aren't as tight-knit, instead focusing solely on their missions. Plus, Tenzo and I aren't even in the same division. He's captain of one of the General Squads, the ones that don't have specific roles within ANBU and sort-of jump around and do whatever's needed. They fill in the gaps.

There are two infiltration specialists on the mission, but one is part of the team that remained outside the building, in case we need backup and to watch for enemy backup shinobi. Door-duty, in a sense, though their role is still very necessary.

The medical ninja follows closely behind us but doesn't complete any tasks other than watching our backs and being there in case we need it. She stays quiet the whole time. I wonder for a moment if this is what Sakura's future might look like. I hope there's more for her than this.

Finally, the members from my own division: assassination. Two have come in with us and two remain outside with the other infiltration nin to provide the necessary backup and keep watch of the door. The ones left outside had volunteered to stay. It seems they rotate every mission to keep things fair. This time around, it's the dark-haired girl named Kaori and a man with dirty blonde spiky hair named Denki who came in. The other two, both men with dark hair and not much to say, remained outside. I haven't even learned their names yet. There wasn't much time to get to know anyone before the mission and they kept their mouths shut the whole way here.

I know just from looking at Kaori that she's a weapons user, she really didn't have to tell me. Her grey flak jacket is specially made to accommodate her many tools and weapons and she carries a pack around her waist containing various scrolls, no doubt summoning scrolls for her ninja tools. She's skillful with a knife and has stuck mostly to that when keeping the opponent alive is not an option, with the odd use of some sort of trap when possible. I notice she doesn't use chakra unless she absolutely has to.

When we get to a large door, the infiltration nin gets started on the lock. It seems to be more complex than your typical lock so it takes a few minutes for him to crack it. I notice Denki tapping his foot and wonder if it's a nervous habit. I really don't know much about him, not even his age. He keeps his porcelain mask on around just about everyone.

For a moment, I'm distracted by thoughts about my husband, the way he always wears a mask and I still don't really know why.

"We're almost in," the infiltration nin whispers. I notice how everyone waits for my signal. It feels strange to have everyone waiting for my word to go forward. It feels like a huge responsibility.

And, admittedly, it feels sort of good.

"Formation G, like we discussed. Let's go," and with a two fingered wave, we all move forward in unison. Our steps echo slightly in the large corridor. I check the time and notice it's just past sunset. According to the infiltration and intelligence units, the political leader we are assassinating goes to sleep just after the sun goes down.

Low and behold, there's yet another door. Infiltration starts on it immediately.

Then knives fall from the ceiling, causing the infiltration nin to break focus on the bedroom door. Whether it's a trap or shinobi hiding in the dark doesn't matter. My command to take shelter does not go unheard. Heads shoot up and not a moment later, Kaori is pulling out a summoning scroll. It summons a metal cage above our heads where the knives from the ceiling clank noisily against metal before falling to the wooden floor, some splitting wood while others slide across the hardwood.

My heart thumps heavily in my chest but I keep my calm, eyes darting around for any indication of enemy shinobi. Everyone is silent, awaiting my instructions.

"Infiltration, keep going. Med, watch the roof. Kaori, watch the left corridor and Denki watch the right," just in time, infiltration manages to click the metal lock right off the door and slides it open slightly. "Tenzo and I will take care of our target and we'll get out of here as fast as we can."

"Hai," some say, acknowledging my instructions. Everyone takes their place and Tenzo gives me a curt nod. I enter first, watching for threats while Tenzo finds the bed. It's dark but my eyes begin to adjust. How the political leader managed to sleep through the noise outside his bedroom door just a minute ago baffles me. We stand over his sleeping body and Tenzo looks at me, waiting for instructions.

His room is mysteriously void of guards. Maybe he felt they were unnecessary behind the large, locked door and multiple guards near the outside of the mansion. And, not to mention, the traps.

Finally, for the first time since the mission began, he speaks.

"Alright, Captain of Assassination."

I nod, eyes turning back to the sleeping man. I know full-well that I can't afford to hesitate in a moment like this. Thoughts questioning his morality and if he has family or friends who will be torn apart by his death don't quite make it to the front my mind, simply appearing as a passing thought outweighed by my duty.

The knuckle blades are still on my fingers but I opt for a kunai instead, sliding the blades into my pouch and pulling out a freshly sharpened, stark black knife.

"What are you waiting for, Captain?"

Without another thought, I reach forward and do the job.

Just like old times, I feel nothing. I somehow manage to push away the terrible thoughts that threaten my mind with lies about my own humanity. It's my obligation. My duty. It's for the safety of Konohagakure.

We slip out faster than we came and begin our journey back, desperate to get as far away from the feudal house as possible before the body is discovered.

Evening set in hours ago but we move through the night as long as possible. When I notice some of the team starting to grow more tired in their steps, I call to set up camp.

People lighten up a bit when we stop and set up camp. It's like a pause of sorts from duty, though we all know we could be ambushed at any time and remain on our guard. I take first watch—it's typical for the Captain to take the first watch—and nobody counters.

I lean up against the body of a tree, letting my legs dangle off the branch I've perched myself on. From this angle, I can see both a bit above and below the tree line, so I'll be able to see any incoming attacks whether they're airborne or by foot.

After an hour or so, I decide to check on the team. When I return, the fire is dying and all that are left are a few glowing embers. It's just dark enough that I can't make out any faces, just bodies and shapes. I notice three are still sitting up, muttering amongst themselves. I get just close enough to hear the full conversation.

"I heard she only got in by sleeping with the authorities," one voice says, a woman's. Her voice is higher, signifying it's not Kaori whose voice is quite deep. The only other female on this mission is the medical nin. "You were on Team Ro with her and Kakashi Hatake, right Tenzo?"

I perk up a bit when I make sense of this information. Is she talking about me?

Tenzo, to my surprise, doesn't try and fight her last statement, "Yes, for a few years."

"Well she's obviously sleeping with Hatake, they're married," another voice says. This one is a man's, the third figure I'd spotted sitting up. It must be one of the two from assassination, the dark haired ones I haven't learned the names of yet. "And Hatake has leverage with ANBU..."

"Obviously," the woman chimes in, "but what I'm saying is that she probably slept with the Commander to get her position." My eyes go wide and the breath catches in the back of my throat. Am I hearing this right? "I mean, look at her. She's like a puppy. No way Commander chose her for Captain of Assassination for her abilities, right? There's gotta be something more to it. Like favours..."

I expect Tenzo to speak up, to defend me. He of all people knows I'm not the type of person who would perform sexual favours for leverage. And he's got my back, always... right?

Or so I thought. Tenzo remains silent while the other two talk it out, continuing with the terrible lies and discussing my supposed 'privilege' and lack of qualification for my position.

I just stand behind the tree in utter shock. There's no way I can return to camp now. I can barely stand to think about them, knowing the way they see me. I hate it with every ounce of my being. That is not who I am at all.

I walk away quietly and choose a tree to sit against, far enough away from the camp that I can no longer hear the terrible words coming from those people's mouths.

And Tenzo... he didn't defend me at all. Not one bit. He didn't even try.

Tears slip from my eyes but I wipe them away, trying my best to remain strong. This is just another hurdle, I tell myself. I'm Captain of Assassination and a few dumb rumors can't bring me down.

A few hours pass until I hear footsteps approaching behind. When I peek around the tree I see Tenzo approaching.

"You should've woken someone," he mutters. "You need to rest too. I'll take next sh-"

"-Why did you just sit there?"

He tilts his head, confusion filling his features, "Huh?"

"Why did you sit there while they talked about me like that?" I ask again, anger starting to push through my tone. Though it's not all anger, there's sadness too. Tenzo stuffs his hands into his pockets like he doesn't know what else to do.

"I- I don't know..."

"That's a lie," I say. He doesn't deny it, scratching the back of his neck in silence. "You've been acting strange towards me lately. What's going on? What changed?"

After a considerable silence, Tenzo speaks hesitantly, "Truthfully, Ayame, it's not easy to be on a team with you."

"Because of the way people see me," I add in frustration. "Because I supposedly sleep with people to get my way. Because I'm unqualified and privileged."

The tears once again threaten to fall down my cheeks but I hold them back, the anger taking more prevalence.

"No," he finally mutters. "Because it's awkward."

An intake of breath and I finally look up at him. I can see the look of shame glowing in his eyes, I know he's being real with me. I can tell when he's lying, and right now he's an open book.

"Awkward...?"

It hurts me to think that my best friend struggles to be on a team with me. I can't think what has changed to make him feel this way. We were always great teammates on Team Ro, and now suddenly he finds it awkward?

Tenzo takes a seat beside me, crossing his legs and settling down on the grass. He looks forward at the ground, avoiding eye contact all together.

"A long time ago, I thought... I thought I-" he pauses for a moment, trying to find the words. I look sidelong at my best friend and feel sadness in my heart. "I thought I liked you."

"You're my best friend, Tenzo. Of course we like eachother."

"No," he quickly adds. "I... I loved you."

I don't say anything to this. I always knew Tenzo cared deeply about me but it never occurred to me his true feelings. I care so much about him but I'm not in love with him. Though, I will admit, if I hadn't fallen for Kakashi, maybe—just maybe—Tenzo and I might have had a chance. We were best friends, almost inseparable. We shared everything. We could read each other's thoughts and feelings with just one glance.

"Look, Tenzo... I've never thought it to be awkward between us. We can get over this. The past is in the past. Let's move forward, okay?"

He shifts his weight a bit before playing a bit with the grass, ripping out single strands one after another.

"I can't," he whispers.

It becomes evident to me the struggle Tenzo is feeling. Like I said, we can read each other perfectly. "Do you still have feelings for me?"

I wait patiently for his answer. He takes his time, too. Finally, he says, "I always have, I just couldn't say it. Kakashi go to you first, and I let him."

I admit that if not for Kakashi, Tenzo and I probably would have gotten together. He's been my best friend since day one. He's always been there for me when no one else was. But I love Kakashi... and yet at the same time, Tenzo holds a special place in my heart. I don't want to lose him but I could never even think about breaking my loyalty to my husband.

"I won't betray Kakashi. I love him."

"I know," he answers quietly. "I wouldn't want you to."

Finally, I stand up and allow Tenzo to take next watch.

Things between us continue to be awkward. We only talk when we absolutely have to and only about mission related things. That book that used to be open has slammed shut, and Tenzo becomes a stranger. A completely new person, unreadable and far, yet somehow, just out of my reach.

And though I understand why he does it, the hurt still lingers.

I've lost my best friend. And this is just one of the many challenges to come.