"I am sorry we had to meet again this way," he says.

I have no words. He lays motionless under my knee which pins him firmly to the ground.

I feel my jaw open slightly as I search his calm, feminine face.

"So your master is Zabuza," I mutter, voice cracking. "Why? Why would you work for someone evil like him?"

Haku doesn't reply for a moment. His eyes trail off mine and look into the dense forest roof above.

"He makes me strong. I protect him with my life."

"I don't want to kill you," I whisper, eyes growing soft. "But I have no choice if you're working for the enemy."

I receive sudden information through the shadow clone I sent out earlier which has extinguished itself. Naruto is nowhere to be seen. Sakura is crying in front of Tazuna because Sasuke is trapped in a strange, crystal-walled jutsu with Haku as Kakashi battles with Zabuza.

A noise escapes my lips and I stare wide-eyed at the boy lying below me. Then I realize; if Haku is on the bridge, then-

The Haku below me fades out of existence, leaving me alone in the clearing. Before I have time to curse myself for not realizing they were all illusions all along, I'm up and sprinting back towards the bridge.

"Sasuke!" I scream, realizing the situation he's in. There's no way he can take Haku down on his own. Haku is ANBU level, like me. I should be the one to take him on. Sasuke is a genin, there's no way he can win this battle.

"Wait, Ayame!" Kakashi exclaims as he battles for dominance against Zabuza.

I rush for the crystal prison but feel my movements halt suddenly. But I'm too late. How could I have been so stupid as to run right in without analyzing the situation? Everything I've been taught through ANBU, to carefully observe and never rush in, all faded away when my pupil was in danger. Damn emotions. 

Water rises around me and leaves me trapped. Zabuza's water clone holds onto the water prison he's got me in as the real Zabuza continues to strike at Kakashi.

"Shit!" My voice is muffled by the surrounding water. I bang on the wall but it doesn't budge. "Shit!" I scream again.

Kakashi spares a glance in my direction but it costs him. Zabuza uses it as an opportunity to strike and manages to make a gash on his arm. He recoils, grabbing his arm and I lunge forward, hands planted against the wall of my water prison, screaming.

"Kakashi!"

My head whips the other direction and I spot Sasuke in the crystal prison battling Haku. My eyes nearly pop out of my head when I see Naruto on the ground, unable to move. Is he hurt, or is he just paralyzed from fear?

I feel helpless. My students are both struggling against an enemy far too strong for them and Kakashi is battling Zabuza alone. All I can do is watch. I feel my heart beat heavier than ever before and I worry it might explode inside my chest. My blood boils and I scrunch my face in anger. I try to form chakra but it seems like the water prison prevents me from doing so.

I watch everything as it goes down, all while continuing to feel weaker and weaker from the water prison. At one point, I drop to my knees with a weak grunt. My breaths are shallow and hoarse. It feels like my energy is being sucked away. I've never experienced anything like this, even when caught in various enemy traps on ANBU missions.

Weaker. Weaker. Helpless. Worthless.

This Zabuza of the Mist is a force to be reckoned with.

From the corner of my eyes, I see orange chakra. It's unlike anything I've ever seen before. Naruto stands on the ground inside the crystal prison on all fours like an animal. His eyes are red and filled with rage while the dark orange chakra swirls around him. His teeth are sharp and he doesn't look anything like the same twerp I know.

I'm shocked to see Sasuke on the ground, covered in senbon needles.

"Shit!"

Everything around becomes blurrier as time goes on. I don't know how long I've been in here. I bang on the prison but it holds firm. There's no way out. I squint through the thickening mist, trying to see what's going on with Kakashi and Zabuza. I spot Kakashi rushing towards me but Zabuza appears in front and slashes him with his massive blade. I can hear Sakura scream. It sounds straight out of a horror movie, "KAKASHI-SENSEI!"

"Kakashi!" I exclaim, again hitting the side of the prison but not expecting anything. I'm trapped and the only way out is if someone extinguishes the water clone holding me in here. Kakashi knew that, and was headed for the clone, but Zabuza got him before he could. Kakashi falls backward, a stream of blood flying through the air.

"Oh my god!" I scream. I feel something wet falling down my face. Am I crying? I decide to blame it on the water from this prison.

Again, there's that feeling of helplessness. And... something else. Something unlike anything I've felt for a comrade before. Even in ANBU, when I saw my comrades fall, I never felt this strongly. My heart falls into my stomach. I feel like I might vomit as I glare at Kakashi's lifeless body on the ground.

"Don't you dare fucking die!" I yell, hitting a fist uselessly against the prison. My stomach continues to churn and the lump grows larger in my throat. But a rush of relief rushes over me, almost quicker than the fear came, when Kakashi's body transforms into a log.

I feel like I might cry for real, but not in the typical way. These tears are of pure relief. Happiness, maybe. But how could I possibly be happy in this situation?

I look again and see Naruto with his glowing red eyes and razor sharp teeth. Sasuke is hurt and lying helpless on the ground. Sakura is still standing with Tazuna but the look on her face is completely traumatized. In a way, Sakura and I are in the same situation. She can't leave the bridge-builder alone and I can't get out of this prison.

Suddenly there's a noise. It's one I recognize. It's the noise I always heard before assassinations with Team Ro. The sound of a thousand birds. It's ear piercing but fills me with comfort at the same time.

It's over, Zabuza, I think as I watch Kakashi appear from the thick mist and rush straight towards Zabuza.

Then there's the impact. But Zabuza still stands.

Haku has jumped in front of Kakashi's chidori. The lightning flickers out and Kakashi stands, just as shocked as me, with his hand in Haku's chest.

'I will protect him with my life,'  he'd said to me earlier. He meant it literally.

Zabuza just laughs, making some remark about what a great tool Haku was. Kakashi pulls his arm out of Haku and his body hits the floor, lifeless.

Damn you, Zabuza!

Naruto approaches, eyes back to their regular blue. He stabs the water clone holding me hostage and the prison extinguishes.

"Are you okay, Aya-Sensei??" he says quietly, a change from his regular hyper demeanor. I nod and push to my feet with the little energy I have left. Naruto stares at the lifeless boy with oceans for eyes. They seem far and vast, and water threatens to spill from them.

"He sacrificed himself," I mutter, approaching Zabuza who's being held by Kakashi's ninja mutts. "He gave his life up, so that scum like you could live, and you don't even shed a tear!" And now I'm angry, my half-scream scratching in the back of my throat as I glare down at the monstrous person that is Zabuza Momochi. 

"Naruto!" Sakura screams, "Where is Sasuke?"

I look back to Naruto as his blue eyes grow even sadder and he tries to suppress his emotion through gritted teeth.

"I see," Kakashi mutters as he leans over Haku's dead body with sad eyes of his own.

"Don't tell me-" I start but I'm cut off.

"Kakashi!" Zabuza exclaims. "You can't afford to take your eyes off me!" Zabuza has managed to get free of the ninja hounds and rushes towards Kakashi but Kakashi pushes off the ground with his hands, kicking him hard in the chest. They both fly back, facing each other in fighting stances once again. 

Zabuza falls on tired legs unable to keep him up any longer. I can see the exhaustion in Zabuza's eyes as he kneels on the ground across from Kakashi. They've been battling for a long time now.

I try to move forward but stumble, feeling the exhaustion rush over my own body. I'd used over half my chakra in the fight against Haku's illusion in the forest and the rest was slowly sucked away by the water prison.

"Why... can't I keep up with you...?" Zabuza huffs through strained breaths. Haku's blood drips down his face.

Kakashi lunges, swinging again and hitting Zabuza hard in the face. Zabuza tries to make a swing with his sword but his movement is weak and Kakashi counters it with his fist, sending Zabuza flying backwards with a grunt.

"Damn you!" Zabuza exclaims, swinging time and time again but failing. His sword lodges in the ground and Kakashi appears behind him.

He grabs hold of his neck. The frustration is evident in his eyes. "You can't defeat me the way you are now," he says lowly. "You don't know what true strength is. Die, Demon of the Mist."

Kakashi swings for his arm with a kunai while Zabuza flings his sword behind, trying to slice Kakashi in two, but Kakashi manages to jab Zabuza's arm with the kunai before he can and the sword goes flying out of Zabuza's grasp, hitting the cemented ground with a clang.

"You can't weave signs anymore," Kakashi mutters.

Zabuza growls but before he can respond, a voice rings out in the distance.

"Oh, oh. You really got it this time, Zabuza." I turn and see a short, strange looking man with a cane and round, shaded glasses. "You disappointed me, Zabuza."

It must be Gato, the man who hired Zabuza. His voice is a squeaky type of snarl, suiting for his short, strange composure. 

Behind Gato is a large group of equally strange looking men, all smirking at Zabuza with menacing looks. Something changes in Zabuza's face as he looks from Haku's lifeless body to the group of strange men.

Naruto is still trying to suppress his weeps over the dead boy. That's right, Haku wasn't much older than Naruto. This must be the first time Naruto has witnessed a death.

And then Zabuza speaks, but his voice is soft. "Kakashi... forgive me... our fight ends here."

I feel a pang of sadness for Zabuza, seeing the realization come to his eyes as he looks at his fallen apprentice.

Haku truly didn't deserve the ending he received. Or, rather, Zabuza didn't deserve Haku. And I think Zabuza knows that.

"Oh, oh. That reminds me," the strange looking cane man Gato says as he walks up to Haku's body and kicks his lifeless face. His eyes still remain wide open, void of life, but an expression of both shock from Kakashi's chidori and calm, suiting of his bitter-sweet end. "I owe this kid something for breaking my arm."

We all watch on as Gato kicks Haku's body. I hear Naruto try and stifle his tears and failing.

"Kid," Zabuza whispers as he bites the bandages off his face and lets them fall to the ground. Naruto stiffens and looks up at Zabuza with tears on his face. "Pass me that Kunai."

The next thing we know, Zabuza catches the kunai in his mouth and attacks the group of men, taking them down one after another. Gato almost gets away but Zabuza pushes through the crowd and stabs him, making him cough up blood.

A single tear falls down my face as I witness the scene. Gato's men stab Zabuza in the back with various spears and swords, but Zabuza looks at peace with himself. He falls to his knees, tears streaming down his face. He has accomplished what he needed to accomplish.

Naruto closes his eyes and looks away, struggling to watch.

"Don't look away, Naruto," Kakashi mutters.

"Mhm," Naruto forces through tears as he watches the sad event unravel in front of us. I move to Naruto's side and place my arm around his shoulder, giving him a squeeze.

"He's come to terms..." I whisper. "Just watch, Naruto. You don't need to do anything else."

Kakashi glances at me and I nod with sad eyes as I hold my yellow-haired pupil in a side-hug. With this, Kakashi gets up and walks towards Zabuza. Gato's men all part, fearing Kakashi as he walks through the crowd without resistance. He reaches Zabuza who mutters something to Kakashi. Kakashi nods, lifting him easily and carrying him over to Haku.

After being placed down beside his fallen apprentice, Zabuza turns to face Haku with eyes full of remorse. I feel Naruto's tiny body shiver and hold the genin tighter.

It starts to snow. Zabuza's shaking hand caresses Haku's pale face, "I wish I could go where you have gone... But I know that cannot be."

I see Kakashi close his eyes for a moment, pushing his headband back down. We all take a moment of silence, watching the snow fall softly onto Zabuza and Haku's lifeless body, and Naruto starts shaking more, so I hug him tighter with both arms.

This must be the first time this kid's ever seen someone die. Until now, shinobi dying was only a concept from the textbooks to him. 

Kakashi leans down and closes Zabuza's eyes while at the same time, Sasuke and Sakura appear behind us. Sasuke is leaning on Sakura and looks very weak, but he's alive nonetheless.

"Sasuke," I mutter, letting go of Naruto. I kneel down, wrapping Sasuke in a hug. I thought I'd lost him. "Thank god... don't scare me like that again." Sasuke is tense at first but eventually finds comfort in my arms.

A soft voice comes from behind us and I break the hug, turning slowly with tear-filled eyes, "We'd better get going..."

When I see him, I feel that sick feeling from earlier.

"And you," I force through gritted teeth. The tears welling in my eyes as I lunge forward, wrapping my arms around him.

I don't know why I do it. My body just goes. But instead of my mind telling me not to, all I can think is how I watched him from inside that prison and couldn't do anything.

"If you'd died-" I can't suppress the tears anymore, so I stop trying.

"But I didn't," he mutters, arms still at his sides. He seems unsure of how to act. I don't blame him—I haven't exactly been sending the most straightforward signals lately. Just yesterday, I told him 'no' in the water.

The words flow out of me in a jumbled, confused mess.

"I watched you two fight and- and if he'd managed t-to get an advantage over you, and he slashed you, a-and I couldn't move, I couldn't do anything, I-I-"

I stop my rambling when I feel his strong arms wrap around me. A certain warmth fills my body and the bloody images rushing through my head fade away. My head fits perfectly under his chin.

I can hear his heart beating steadily in his chest and my own breathing syncs with it.

"Damn you," I say weakly. "I could never forgive myself if you died..."

He doesn't say anything. He just holds me, and I'm okay with it.

For once, I don't feel scatter-brained and resistant when he shows affection for me. For once, I welcome it. Because, for a moment, I experienced what it might feel like to lose him and I never want to feel it ever again.

* * *

We share a bed again in Tsunami and Tazuna's home. This time, and for the few remaining days we will spend in the Land of Waves while Tazuna finishes the bridge, I won't feel strange having him beside me. Instead, it's a comfort.

I roll over and stare at his masked face. Why does he wear the mask when he sleeps? It's not like he has anything to hide. I guess there are still many things I do not know about this silver-haired man.

Apparently there are many things I don't know about myself, either. I never thought I would react the way I did to being trapped inside the prison. Kakashi is a Jonin, former ANBU captain, and his sensei was the Yellow Flash of the Leaf and the Fourth Hokage. He handled Zabuza just fine, yet fear still filled me at the sight of him fighting such a powerful opponent.

I guess my mind was thinking about all the what ifs.

What if Zabuza managed to strike him? What if Kakashi died while I was in the prison and I could do nothing but watch? What if...

I thought he was sleeping but he opens his one, grey eye and meets mine. A swelling feeling forms in my stomach as he looks at me.

"So what happened today?" he asks. His face is surprisingly close to mine, resting on his own pillow.

"What do you mean?" I answer. My eyes don't leave his.

"What are we?"

I think about Haku again, and what he asked me in the forest when we first met.

"Where are you from?" I asked, kneeling down to meet his level.

"My home is where my master is," he answered with a closed eye smile.

"And you're okay with that? With belonging to someone else?"

"Of course," he replied. "I protect him, he protects me. Do you have someone to protect, Ayame-San?"

I took a breath and clenched my lips.

"You should find them. When you have someone to protect, that's when you become truly strong."

And I think I might've finally found that person, Haku. The person who I can protect. The person who will protect me. And so I answer Kakashi's question without a doubt in my mind.

"A chance."

He sits up suddenly and it takes me by surprise so I sit up too. I can see the smile through his mask and the light in his eye. He looks like a child on Christmas morning. "Really?"

All I can do is laugh. It's genuine, too. My mind is happy and my body is expressing it.

"Yeah," I say thoughtfully. I think back to what Hiruzen told me⁠—the reason he assigned me as Jonin leader.

Bonding.

Have I made you proud, Uncle Hiruzen? I think I've bonded pretty well with my team, if I do say so myself.

I'm taken off guard when soft, warm lips plant against mine. It's just like last time. Only this time, I am completely sober and completely okay with it.

I frown when he pulls away suddenly and looks at me with concern, "What about your promise?"

"My promise?"

"The one you made to yourself, to never fall in love again."

Now I mirror his expression, sad and also confused. And I realize that he is being genuine. He cares about my promise, even though it conflicts with his desires.

I answer his question without words. I kiss him this time, feeling fireworks explode inside me. Our lips move against each other's in a perfectly choreographed dance. We pull back and his forehead rests against mine. His hand finds my face and he holds one side of it.

"You have no idea how long I've waited for you," he whispers, eye locked on mine so I can't look away. His childish smile returns and I grab his face with both hands while our lips dance slow and sweet. I never want it to end.

And in this fragile moment, there's one thing I know for sure—this is what I want; body and mind.

* * *

Hello wonderful readers! I wanted to let you in on these numbers because I am amazed and eternally grateful for them! Skip it if you're not interested. Otherwise, enjoy this number porn. At the time of analyzing (2020/06/25):

~70 following/alerted readers (those who receive notifications for new chapter postings) across all sites! (Cross posted to AO3, FFN, Wattpad, and Quotev). 

Total view/reads count across all sites is just shy of 2,500,

# of kudos/favorites is 82! 

Excluding my own replies, there are 60 comments/reviews.

MY GUSHY RANTING: So many of you guys are engaging with and actively commenting on or reviewing just about every chapter and I am so, so, so appreciative of it. There is also tremendous support in the form of favorites/kudos. You guys are seriously the most supportive readers ever and it fills me with so much warmth. THANK YOU for your support! I've had the pleasure with chatting with some of you privately and it is so nice to get to know you individually. Knowing who is reading makes the writing experience even more exciting.

Overall, I an STUNNED at how much support and encouragement this story has already received after just one month. Thank you for reading and expressing your enjoyment. It motivates me to continue writing and posting chapters every few days for y'all!

Here are some more numbers/facts (as of 2020/06/25) for all you geeks out there:

 ~33,500 words written thus far (and Ayame finally agreed to open up to Kakashi. Kudos to you if you made it this far HAHA!)

- 14 individual commenters, most are recurring supporters. You know who you are <3

- FFN is the most popular site for view-count, sliding in with just under 1,500 of the 2,500 total views! 

- Of the 2,500 total views, I can separate the number of individual readers (who have visited the story across all sites at least once) which totals to ~1000! WOW!

- AO3 has been most popular for kudos/favorites, coming in at 26 people who've left kudos. Woot-woot, go AO3 readers! 

- Fun little celebration note: Someone has even requested if they can translate my fic to Russian, which is super crazy to me!!

- If you've actually read all these stats/facts, you are CRAZY and what are you doing with your life? 

- Okay, bye. See you in the next one!