{thinking about how will and mads were just young boys that had no other choice}

There's a lot to think about when someone tells you that your time is up. Especially when you know that there's too much you've held out for, to fit into the last moments you have, the time you felt there was more of.

Will wondered how the terminally ill felt when they got their news. A grim idea, truly, but he remembered reading about the peace they felt knowing what they really had to cherish. He wasn't sure if it was true. Hell, he hardly remembered what article, if any, he read about it. But he wanted to think that was real. That as the clock ticks, you finally tell yourself what it is that you've truly wanted. Your lies finally cease, and you can see through your endless barrage of bullshit to what you want. To what you need.

He watched the hellscape from the nook in the library. The bringer of Armageddon was here. They were honestly the ones he had least suspected for the title. While he was mainly enjoying the sunshine and rain that came with having to he a highschooler again, scanning as many teens as he could, trying to find the signs to narrow it down. He hardly spared a second glance to the Flagg kid's little eye candy and that pretentious little princess he apparently shared blood with. But looking at him now, he realized why he was so oblivious. He was a scared and damaged boy who didn't even look like he could bark, let alone howl. His sister definitely seemed more promising in the attitude department, to him they still seemed too.... Innocent for it to work, but after what had been happening... He couldn't deny it anymore.

The days were finally ticked. Only so much left for anyone to behold. And hardly a living soul outside of these poor kids knew what was next, and barely that much. They weren't going to get their news, no one was.

Having those kids here was refreshing almost. To watch them panic and freeze. Afraid, unsure, worried, and frightened, it made him think so much about Rosedale. It was a strange way to feel nostalgic. No one else seemed to have taken as much of a liking to them as much as he and Grayson had. Though, admittedly, Will was more interested in messing with them than anything else.

What he saw Grayson do was... Much different. He was really focused on that other girl. Trying to talk to her a lot despite her reluctance to listen. Trying to calm her down when her friend left during dinner. Talking her out of drinking while she was here... He was trying... Really hard.

It was strange for him to watch, not that he was going to stop him. If it was what he wanted to do, he can play nanny all he wanted. Grayson wasn't his to control.

He followed him through the winding halls of the castle as he carried her in his arms. The wedding was tomorrow. And naturally, they all got knocked out again for the night. Just before they had any ideas of exploring this place, and most likely losing a limb or two trying to leave, for their safety more than anything. He stood in the doorway as he walked into one of the rooms, gently laying her down as Will refused to go inside. Remembering the threats that her friend shot at him as he was drenched in blood. Suddenly looking a lot more like a candidate for the antichrist slot by the second.

For some strange reason, he thought about the time they first met. Well, they first talked really, they both sort of knew about each other in school, but never had they had a reason to talk before Alice...

Thinking about her name made him pause. It had been a long time since he thought of her. And it sent a chill up his spine. But there was something about that situation they both gained, although, it took quite a while to get there. They found each other.

Now, he wasn't going to say this in a romantic gesture. Sure... They were... Intimate at times, but once you're already an employee of hell who wasn't? Technically he still had Victor in that department, but it wasn't the same.

He wasn't as alive as Grayson was.

Watching him brush the hair out of her face made his stomach turn. Suddenly deciding to wait out in the hall instead of lingering in the doorway, Gray walking out shortly after. A soft look on his face that curled into a smile as he looked at Will. Something making his lips turn down.

"Is she all tucked in? Don't wanna piss off Satan's little boy now do you..." 

"Yeah, let's go to bed, I know Shay is gonna kick our asses if we aren't ready on time-" He had already turned away from him as Will impulsively grabbed his wrist. Pulling him closer as he fell silent.

"Hey, let's go to the room-" Grayson said quietly as he crept forward. Not really expecting to get pushed against the wall as Will fell to his knees, already working on his belt before he could even register what the hell he was doing.

"Will?!" He whisper yelled as he grabbed the boys head and pushed him back, trying to hoist up his pants with his other hand in mild panic at the fact that he just did this do out of the blue. Confused by the sudden sadness that seemed to peek up at him from his brown eyes.

"C'mon, we've fucked in worse places than this, just let me suck-" He tried to reach for him again but this time Grayson grabbed his hair, pulling him back as he winced. In hindsight, not the best idea given he still liked that too-

"She's sleeping right behind the door-"

"Well what? Do you want to wake her up to join in?" He muttered. Eyes growing wet as he looked up at him while Grayson tried to process the last few minutes of utter confusion over this sudden change.

"Will? What's wrong?"

What wasn't wrong? He felt tears well up against his will, not wanting to give in to the sob that rose in his throat as he stopped trying. He pushed his hands over his face. Attempting to cover himself from Grayson's gentle gaze. He wasn't used to that. He wasn't used to crying.

He had one day before what was left of everything he knew would change.

It was a balancing act, for them since all this began. A rough in-between of manic highs and somber lows. If they weren't stuck this way, the same way they were that fateful night everything changed, maybe aging would've made it worse, instead of better. Maybe it would have set in more that they were losing time. Their lives, sealed away until they were of use again, and to use they've been put now, but how long would they have to wait when this ends? How much longer were they going to keep going?

How much more was he going to suffer alone like this before they meet again? Before he would stop being useful? Before he found out what he wanted?

And now, as he found himself looking up at those cool blue eyes, he wondered why he looked so calm when Will felt like he was about to implode.

"Look, this isn't going to make you feel better-"

"Why not?" His voice cracked. "Why can't it make me feel better?"

What did he want? Why did watching him tuck her in make him so sad? What was it that they even shared? Why was he crying?

Will felt the tears fall in hot streams as Grayson sunk to his knees, now face to face with him as he let go of his hair, trying to pull the hands from his face as he tried to decipher what the hell was wrong.

What did Will Grayson want?

He wanted Alice. He wanted Victor. He wanted Jamie and all their attention. He wanted Thomas. He wanted his baby brother. He wanted his mother, and his father and his step mother and the dog she made him give away. He wanted to matter to them. He wanted them to want him as much as he wanted them.

He wanted Grayson.... And that gentle look he gave him as he forced their eyes to meet. Pulling his tense body against his tightly. Hugging him. Just before he reached out to hug back. His chest heaving the sob he's pushed down for much too long.

He wanted someone to care that he was here at all.

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