When I'm alone and my body is sunk into the fluff and fabric scrunched in a pile atop by bed.

When I'm stuck in my head.

When I'm looking at the glowing rectangle in my hands that has everything to do but I can't bring myself to do it....but I want to.

I miss you.

When I'm staring at nothing looking for something and yet nothing specific, looking for anything yet not anything as I've seen plenty and none of it is what I'm looking for.

When I wish I was more.

When I feel my heart beating through my head and my chest rising and falling as my throat feels sickly as if it is lined with a liquid layer of trash juices and my stomach feels like a can being squeezed in a crushing sort of way.

At the end of the day.

When gravity seems to be so much stronger for no apparent reason and I can't bring myself to move at all.

When I'm waiting on someone to call.

When I see that you're still living life without me, and we don't talk anymore.

When I think about the closed doors.

When I should be better....when I want to be better....when I want to be, if I ever even was someone of significance to you again.

When I think about people I called my friends.

When I see anything that reminds me that I've been gone for so long, that I did exactly what I didn't want to.

When I don't reach out to you.

When I want to come back but can't bring myself to do it.

When it hurts and I struggle to get through it.

I miss you.