My mind can't even contemplate the innocent words Muriel's just said. They take me aback for a moment while I stand there fuming in the doorway to my room.

"'Everything okay?'" I repeat the words she's just said and run my hands over my face and hair, knowing I'm seconds from losing my shit.

I've been up for over twenty-four hours. The majority of it I've been losing my bloody mind because she wasn't responding to me when we discussed chatting at 11:30. Then, when I finally make the decision and fly back home I find her room fucking empty.

Mum, Dad, Maggie, and Ty having no idea where she'd gone.

I let out a furious shaky breath and bite my tongue for a second then turn hearing Mum's footsteps climbing the stairs from down the hall. I lean out into the hall and give her a relieved forced smile, "She's here."

"Oh thank God." Mum stops in her tracks and visibly relaxes into the wall beside her.

"Yeah," I say shaking my head and again grinding my molars to dust.

Mum picks herself up from the wall and approaches, but I shake my head. "She's fine. I've got some shit I need to say to her."

Mum bites the inside of her cheek and mulls it over a moment, then takes in a deep breath and nods. "I'll be downstairs, calling her mum and Ty."

Fucking Muriel. She's had everyone worried. She's not once disappeared out of the blue like this before and it is so out of character that we all thought something really terrible had happened. 

I turn back and throw my bedroom door closed trying to take a full breath into my overworked lungs so I'm able to calm down. "I reckon you should rethink those words, Muriel."

Her brows skydive and her eyes thin, clearly oblivious to the extent of how everyone was in a panic the last several hours.

"I- I just needed space. Jane told me I could come here whenever I needed-."

"Space?" My brows shoot to my hairline and I can't help a pompous laugh from escaping my lips. "Forgive me? Clearly, I'm a fucking moron. But did you just say space?"

"Yes, space. I-."

"You're bloody jokin' me. That's your excuse? Space is your excuse for leaving in the middle of the God Damn night without telling anyone. And on top of that, switching your phone off? We were all fucking worried something happened! And we find you here snuggled in my bed completely oblivious as to what we've all been going through searching for you?!"

I'm yelling at her by the end of it, and I know how much she hates confrontation but I can't help it. To be honest I want to grab her and shake her because I'm fuming. 

Being angry with Muriel is nothing new for me. I'm always angry with her. But I'm always able to mask it with other things like work for example. But this was too much. She was too selfish this time.

"Have you got nothing to say? A bloody apology maybe? Or are you miss goody-two-shoes and too innocent and pure to be in the wrong?" I ask completely fucking serious. Everyone thinks this woman is a bloody Nun for fucks sake.

She straightens her shoulders from where she's huddled on my bed clutching the blankets to her chest, "You can't talk to me like this, Oliver-."

I laugh again and plant my raging fists on my hips and gaze up angrily at the ceiling, trying everything to keep my temper under control. Once I reign it in I lick my dry lips and say, "I am going to talk to you however I choose, Babe."

My words show clearly across her now angry face, clearly pissing her off, but I don't care. She points an accusatory finger at me and speaks loudly, "We are not together. I do not have to tell you where and when I'm going somewhere. You don't get to control my decisions, Oliver."

It's like she's intentionally pushing my buttons. Everything from her feigning innocence to this last comment has me seething again. It's clear she's aware of what she's doing. She knows leaving without a word would send all of us into a frenzy and she knows I want nothing more than to be together with her, but she throws it in my face to try to twist this argument around on me. And like an idiot, I eat it all up like fucking cake. "And what exactly did you need space from? What was it yesterday that was just so overwhelming while you were in bed most of the day?"

"Everything!" She says and crawls to the ledge to grab her jeans from the floor, but because I'm a shit I scramble and swipe them from her. She's not going anywhere in her panties, she is done running from every little complication in her life. "Give me my pants, now." She commands glaring daggers at me.

"Answer the question. What overwhelming circumstance happened where you needed 'space'?" I use air quotes with my fingers while I still hold her pants in my fists.

"You are overwhelming. I needed space from you." She shrugs as if she's unbothered by the question and answer. 

"I was in fucking Italy!" I explode throwing her pants down and stomp up to her at the bed and bare down, "How much more fucking space do you need, Muriel?! Would you prefer I fucking disappear so you never have to face your feelings?!"

"I-I, no. I didn't- would you stop yelling at me!" She cowers, scooting back to the other side of the bed. 

"So, you disappearing is my fault then? What the fuck did I do?!" I rack my mind with all the possible ways I could have messed up. Granted I am a twat, so It isn't impossible I could have done something. 

"Nothing!"

What the actual fuck?

"You're overwhelmed because I did nothing?" I ask in a state of utter confusion. Why are females so bloody confusing? How are we even to stand a chance in figuring them and their confusing brains out?

"I'm overwhelmed because you are overwhelming!"

"I didn't do anything! Tell me what the fuck I did."

Muriel exhales a long breath and slumps, dropping her eyes to the blankets she's fiddling with, "You went to lunch with Thylane."

The blood in my veins freezes and again I'm flabbergasted into silence. 

"Then in the interview, you said you weren't seeing anyone and that you didn't have the time, but you were out with Thylane earlier. I'm jealous and confused and overwhelmed all at once with what I'm feeling."

Somehow I find my voice still trying to keep up with everything she's spilling, "Hold on...You told me you wanted to be kept a secret? So now you're saying you wanted me to say in the interview I was seeing you?"

"No! No, that's not what I'm saying-"

"But you just said you were upset by what I said? Then you were mad about the meeting with Thylane? Jesus Christ, what was I supposed to say, Muriel?" This girl is mad. Absolutely certifiably mad.

"No, I mean yes. Yes I was but-"

"Tell me this then. If I had admitted in that interview I was in lo- I was seeing you, you would have been pissed off." I ask and she nods.

"But then I said I wasn't seeing anyone, and that made you upset?" I ask again, and she nods again.

Oh my Fuck. I was bloody fucked either way!

"What the fuck!" My hands tangle into my hair and now I'm overwhelmed with confusion and uncertainty. 

"I know! I'm sorry-."

"What do you want, Muriel?" I ask knowing this shouldn't be this hard. Loving someone is easy, or it should be anyways. Fuck, everything was a whole lot easier when I loved her in secret, now everything is complicated and painful.

"It's not that easy."

"It tis'. Tell me what you want and that's what we'll do."

"I can't-"

"Tell me what you want!"

She shakes her head, clamming up again. I know her, once she clammed up she wouldn't make a decision. It's a wonder how she even succeeds at her school or medical profession when she can't seem to operate under a small amount of pressure. 

And like she's clamming up because of the confrontation she despises I become more desperate and try to push her into giving an answer. We're like a fucking car crash, both of us see it happening but all we can do is watch it happen. 

"Please, just tell me if you want me?"

I hate seeing it, but now she's crying and sniffling. 

To me, this is such an easy question. You either want someone or you don't. But with Muriel everything is thought through to the nth degree, complicating even what seems the most simple question.

I'm glad I don't have her brain. Otherwise, I would be in an insane asylum. I'm a dick for thinking it but fuck, how does this girl make any sort of decisions herself? I know her father did most of that for her up until recently and I know how manipulative he can be. The man is a master. He is so good at manipulation you know it's happening but you can't help but fall for it every time. Guess that's why he's so good at his job as well.

I let out a long sigh and take a seat on the edge of my bed and rest my head in my hands. Should I just admit I love her now? What else could go wrong? This woman is it for me. She's always been it for me. I don't know what else I can do or say to prove that to her. I open my mouth to admit how deep my feelings for her are in a last-ditch effort but she speaks from her spot on my bed behind me, "I'm sorry." 

Another exhale leaves my lungs and I'm prepared for the inevitable 'It's not you, it's me' speech. 

"I think deep down I wanted you to find me." She says behind me, and my ears perk.

Huh?

____________________________________________________________

Oh how i love the drama! hehe

Poor Ollie just has such a hard time understanding her lol

Any guesses as to what happens next? We've got the second part to the flashback coming soon!

Thanks for reading!