I'm standing here, surly, with my mouth dropped open to the dirty floor of this pub while Ollie has his arms wrapped securely around Tally and his face laughing against her craned neck. The sight of it is...sobering. Sobering, not in the way that I've had one too many mixed drinks but sobering in that I hate more than anything to see him with his arms around another woman. 

Once I'm sober as a judge, the alien feeling of jealousy sweeps through me. Correction- it doesn't sweep through, it encompasses me. 

My fisted fingers curl so tightly in my fist I'm sure the indents of my nails have created crescent moon scars inside the palm of my hand. My teeth have grinded my molars to dust and I'm sure my face looks as if I've smelled something foul. But none of this compares to the feeling of painful nausea ripping through my belly twisting my esophagus in the worst way. Nothing is worse than seeing Oliver with his arms around someone else and looking happy. 

And this someone else isn't just some random girl. But the first girl.    

The same person who was with him all those nights when we were teenagers while I was a good little girl nestled in my bed wishing for a little more time with my best friend. 

I thought I'd been someone who dug their heels in and faced a problem head on...but maybe I'm simply a coward? Maybe I had thought I was head strong because of the way I dove head first into my studies and internship and just assumed this same dedication and determination would spill into the other aspects of my life...

But it didn't...

Jeremy, was introduced to me by my father. He even urged the relationship...He orchestrated it.

"I'm an idiot." I say to myself thinking about how my fucking father manipulated me. How he manipulated everyone in my family as well as the Thomas's. 

Now, you'd think this sudden epiphany would knock some sense into me? I'm sure it should, but I'm stuck in place. My heels and legs have grown roots and have kept me frozen in place in this packed pub as I continue to watch the sickening sight of Tally with her hands around Ollie's neck playfully laughing and hanging on him.

I have no claim on him...what am I supposed to do? Walk up to her and throw her hands off him?

If anything Tally has more of a claim over him than I do. She's actually had him, while I haven't. She's funny, clearly by the way Ollie is still laughing with her, and she's gorgeous and nice. She could have been rude to me when she met me but she wasn't, if anything she was incredibly friendly. 

And now, here I am thinking just because I've decided I want him she should back off?

"Everything alright there, Mur?" Ty asks seeming to appear out of thin air bringing with his sudden presence everyone else in this crowded pub. 

I tear my gaze from Ollie and Tally and look up at Tyson's concerned face.

"No-yeah. I- I'm going to go home." I say laying a hand on his chest in thanks for his consideration on wanting to make sure I am okay. 

"I'll go with you-"

"No, it's fine. I need to be on my own, I think." I say withdrawing my phone from the back pocket of my white jean skirt.

I order an Uber and see my ride will be here in less than five minutes. 

"Mur, you should talk to him..." Ty says quickly, obviously noticing my sudden need to run is in the form of the flirting couple across the pub. 

"I don't want to talk to him." I want him to make the choice.

I know it's unfair of me to expect Ollie to know I want him to make a choice tonight, especially after everything, but I want him to pick me over Tally. And I want him to make the choice without me asking him to.

"He can't read your mind, Mur." Ty shakes his head glancing to Ollie and Tally for a moment then back to me. 

I'd beg to differ based on him this last weekend in Cornwall. Ollie called me out on everything, and he was right on everything regardless I admitted it to myself or not. 

I remove my eyes from Ollie and focus intently on Ty, "Please let us handle this, Ty."

"But-"

"No, buts. You've done enough, I see how stupid I've been and I'd like me and Ollie to figure this out on our own."

Ty screws his lips shut and  nods. My phone vibrates alerting me to my ride so without giving a look back to Ollie I turn on my heel and give a quick stop to Maggie to let her know I'd be going home.

I leave the crowded pub and step out onto the busy sidewalk following the mass of people filtering out of the establishment. My skin prickles to goosebumps from the chilly air so I wrap my arms around myself tightly looking to my phone in my hands to watch the small car coming down the simple map on my screen.

I slowly make my way down the sidewalk so I'm out of the way for others that are coming and going inside the pub and make a stop by a trash bin. The air is wet and chilly, but signaling to rain coming soon. 

A weak smile pulls at my lips and I tap the screen to cancel the Uber just so I can indulge myself with a walk in the incoming rain. It also helps in that the longer I can prolong this night then maybe it'll give more time for Ollie to see I'm gone...and to choose me...

I knew I was putting a lot on his shoulders, and even more, I knew it was wrong of me to expect him to some how know I changed my mind tonight. But for some reason, I couldn't bring myself to face him with Tally in the picture. In addition, for some strange reason, I had a suspicion he'd figure it out. And I could only hope that when he does figure it he'd pick me.

When the cold rain starts as a cascading curtain of mist, that's when I begin my way down the sidewalk. It chills my skin leaving a thin coat of miniscule dew drops collecting on my skin, hair, and clothes. 

The sidewalks buzz with people frantically running to their vehicles or grabbing a taxi but I continue my slow meandering with my phone clutched to my chest waiting for a phone call. He'd call me, I was sure of it...at least I hope am. 

"Why do you like the rain so much?" A familiar deep voice says behind me, stopping me in my tracks and causing a relieved smile to pull lightly at my lips.
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So cheesy, but hell do I love it! I needed it after writing an incredibly dark chapter on my other story.

Just a short but exciting chapter to start the week! What are your guy's plans this week or for Valentines day?

How was your weekend? Mine was great! I finally bought myself a computer! (gasp) yes, I've been writing for two years now on my phone up until this chapter! HAHA