I wish I could say walking in on my father made me a stronger person. But it didn't. All my life, when I've run into a problem I dug my heels in and powered through it. Always moving forward, never back.

That is what he taught us after all.

But after that day, it's like my life has flipped on itself. I've put everything on pause. My last semester at medical school, my internship at the hospital, even my six-year relationship with Jeremy.

I need to getaway. I need to breathe. I need this five-ton weight on my shoulders to lessen before I'm completely suffocated.

I know I'm selfish for leaving mom during this time. I know I should be home with her. But the thought of entering that house again, surrounded by all the family photos and warm memories of our so-called 'happy' life, I just can't do it. I can't put on a fake smile for mom, no matter how badly she needs it right now.

What I need is the familiar smell of rain on the old pavement of Notting Hill mixing with the scent of pine. And the sights and sounds of purring engines mixing with the chirps of bluebirds at Ladbroke Square Garden.

England has always been more of a home to be compared to New York. The majority of my happiest memories took place there.

My family visits twice a year. From July to September and then for two weeks in December for the Christmas holiday. We stay at my mother's best friend's, Jane Thomas, house in Notting Hill in the summer and the Thomas's family manor in Cornwall for Christmas.

I was confused about every aspect of my life, so I needed this. I needed to be grounded.

When the plane's wheels meet the tarmac at Heathrow airport I feel the weight on my shoulders lift a hair and I'm able to take the first full breath since last week when my world came tumbling down.

Home.

"Shut up! Shut up! Shut UP!" Maggie throws her arms around me squeezing me so tight it cuts off the air supply to my brain. The suitcase in each hand falls with a clunk to the sidewalk.

But I just smile and bury my face into the crook of her neck and eye the narrow front walkway framed by green shrubbery to the three-story house.

"How are you here?! What about finals? And graduation?"

"I'm taking a break." I declare with a smile on my face, however, the smile is just to please Maggie.

"Babe?" Maggie steps back and keeps her hands on my shoulders concern crossing her beautiful features. "You don't do 'breaks'."

"I figure I deserve one. I'm practically a sixty-year-old living in a twenty-five-year-old's body."

"I was going to say forty." Maggie teases but her perfect brows are still upturned and her usual full lips are tightened into a line. "But sixty works as well."

I force a laugh and suck onto my bottom lip gazing up at her.

Maggie's emerald eyes leave me, and thin at something behind me, causing me to turn. Across the busy road, I notice three different men all with their long-nosed cameras meandering around, looking as though they are watching us. "Let's get a move on. They think he still lives here."

Maggie grabs one of my suitcases and I take the other and follow her inside.

"Mum!" Maggie yells so loud it causes my ears to ring, "Mummy!"

The smell of lemon polish fills my nose as I take in the sight of the house that has never changed. Not once in my twenty-five years of my life.

Jane appears with a wide smile on her shapely lips and saunters quickly down the hallway towards me, "Muriel? Oh my days, what are you doing here?" She asks pulling me in for a tight hug that could put Maggie's to shame.

"She's on...holiday," Maggie says.

Jane sighs and cups my cheek, rubbing her thumb around it softly. "My dear...I am sorry."

"Is it alright if I stay here? At least until my family leaves in September?"

"Of course, don't be silly. We will all be happy to have you."

"We need a selfie. Ollie and Ty are going to be so jealous." Maggie spruces her hair and pulls her phone out from her back pocket and holds it out. Jane is ready quickly, clearly used to the impromptu selfies Maggie throws around. I am in no way ready for a photo, but I don't care. Not one bit. Because I'm home. I adjust my glasses on my nose and smile up at the phone.

"Let's get you unpacked, love. I'm sure it was a long flight." Jane and Maggie grab my cases and we file up the narrow staircase to the third floor where the bedroom me and my sister, Gemma stay in while we are here.

The room is just as it was the last I left it. Non-fiction books I keep line the bookshelf as well as Gemma's Cosmo magazines. Little knickknacks I've collected from the nearby boutiques fill the empty spaces on the shelves as well as the small white vanity. Two twin matching beds with frilly bedding are separated by an old fashioned end table with a picture of the five of us kids lined up oldest to youngest dressed in matching Christmas pajamas on the wide stairway at the Thomas Manor when I was fourteen: Gemma 15 years old, Maggie also 15, me at 14, Ollie at 13, and then baby Ty at 7.

"Let's get this hung up. Then what do we say to pop a bottle?" Jane asks unzipping the case after tossing it onto my bed. "Let's give George a right heart attack when he gets home." She adds with a flirty smirk. The sight of her dimples warms my insides and I nod once as she opens the small walk-in closet where most of Gemma's clothes still hang.

"He's going to see the Instagram post, Mum." Maggie rolls her eyes typing away on her phone already sitting at the foot of my bed.

"For fok's sake, did you have to post it? I wanted to see him surprised, Maggie."

"Course' I did. The boys are going to shit themselves. I'm keen on rubbing it in their faces."

I roll my eyes and feel my phone vibrate in my pants pocket, knowing it's an Instagram notification from Maggie having posted the selfie.

I'm sure Ty will be thrilled and slightly bummed I'm here. He's currently living in Scotland playing for the football team there. He and I talk with each other weekly and he was the first person I called after the crap hit the fan with dad. I'm sure I won't hear the end of it when he finds out I came here.

As for Ollie, he and I haven't seen each other in five years and only message each other on our birthdays and holidays. I had seen him once four years ago on Christmas when he stopped by the manor for his last Christmas with his family, but we hardly spoke.

"I better get Gladys to stock the kitchen then, those lads can eat. With you here, Mur, they'll come running I guarantee it." Jane smiles at me and begins hanging my clothes in the closet, after sliding Gemma's clothes to the side.

"You said Ollie moved out?" I ask Maggie who is grinning at her phone.

"The devil still stalks around though. It's like he knows when mum makes her spaghetti." She says. I crack a genuine smile and my mouth waters. Jane can make a mean spaghetti dish.

"Don't worry. He didn't go far, Love. He and Stewart got a place fifteen minutes drive away." Jane chimes in from the closet.

I moan and plop my butt on the bed at the thought of Stewart. I've never liked him growing up. He's the first person to call me a 'fire crotch', prompting me to ask my parents what a fire crotch was.

That was a humiliating conversation.

"He's gotten better. He just fancied you, Mur. That's why he was such a twat to you."

"He has matured, a great deal," Jane adds again from the closet.

"Jeremy might have some competition." Maggie teases giving me a wink, knowing Jeremy and I were on the road to getting engaged before everything went down.

I gnaw on the inside of my cheek, "Actually, Jeremy and I are sort of on a break right now."

Maggie's eyes lift from her phone and Jane peeks out from the closet, both of them stunned at my admission.

"Babes...are you sure you're alright?" Maggie reaches out and plants a band on my bent knee.

"I'm fine. I just needed everything to stop. I've been running through my life with my head down missing things. I want to be a twenty-five year old. I want to get drunk for once in my life or smoke a cigarette. You and Gemma...and the boys for that matter have always lived and done stupid things, while I've just kept my head down. I don't want...I don't want to miss anything."

"But...you and Jeremy were perfect together? We all thought you'd be engaged before Christmas." Maggie asks glancing past me at Jane.

I suck onto my bottom lip and sigh, "I just needed everything to slow down. This thing with Dad freaked me out."

"You're allowed to feel this. We're all trying to figure out how to move forward with Henry as well." Jane comes over to me and sits beside me, scooping my hands in hers. I know my father's actions affected more than just my sister and my mom. Henry's actions also affected the Thomas's.

"I know what you need," Maggie announces and stands from the foot of my small bed. "A girl's night out. You, me and Cafe De Paris."

"It's Wednesday," I say perplexed that she's considering a nightclub on a weekday.

"And?" She puts her hands on her narrow hips and leans towards me. "You're being a sixty year old right now."

"Tell you what. We stay in tonight, and tomorrow we'll go out-."

"Boooorriiinnnggg."

"Fine, I'll even let you pick my outfit." This was the ticket. Maggie has always hated my clothes. I always pick comfort over style when it comes to my clothing.

My request works though because her eyes light up like fireworks, "Done! You just made me the happiest girl on Earth."

Nothing is better than a girl's night, right?