I don't know why everything seems to be crumbling around me. All I can do is do what I always have done up until  my father made me run away to London; I need to dig my heels in and trudge forward.

If Ollie won't accept my decision and call this what it is there is nothing I can do about it.

Like always, he isn't thinking this through. And like always, I'm the one who is being realistic. Why is it us as realists always get grief for it? It is always better to be prepared for what is bound to happen then to have your head in the clouds only to come crashing down when it inevitably never works out.

It is obvious, what ever this is between Ollie and me, is intense and exciting. But that is all it is, eventually this would become dull and fizzle out, so before that inevitably happens it is better to come to terms with what this is and move on with what life has in store.

Head down and keep moving forward.

My father was wrong about so many things, I know that now, but some things he taught are true.

So, when Ollie finally returned hours after the sun went down I remained in my room and he remained in his.

By morning, I'm even more exhausted than I had been the day before. Unlike yesterday I'm not only physically exhausted but my brain is tired as well. I've been trapped inside my head thinking about all the ways I had to be right about this weekend.

When a quiet knock taps once against my door I feel relief bloom inside my chest, but it's quickly cut short when he speaks, "I'm leaving in ten. If you still want the ride I'll meet you in my car."

I drop my gaze to the suit case before me on the bed I've spent an hour packing then repacking unable to escape the thoughts in my head.

"K." I say and listen as his footsteps take him down the hall until they fade from my hearing.

🦋🦋

I ignore the sour tension inside the car as we drive further and further from Cornwall. I knew it was going to be a long drive but thankfully it's mostly silent compared to argueing which is way worse.

I try to keep my eyes from flickering over to Ollie in the drivers seat, but inevitably I'm unable to stop myself. Each time I take a quick fleeting moment he looks more agitated and even more tense, until I'm watching him ready for the outburst at any moment.

Just as he bares his teeth my cell phone begins to vibrate in my lap.

Thank God

"Hello!" I scramble with the phone and hold it tight pressed to my ear.

"Oh, Mur...I didn't think you'd answer." Jeremy mutters, the relief floods my veins but is gone in an instant.

"Yeah." I exhale and turn my body to face the side window in a poor attempt to keep Jeremy's voice from reaching Ollie.

"I called you yesterday?"

Correction he called me three times yesterday but I was too preoccupied with my thoughts and stressed with Ollie gone all day to answer it.

"Okay?" I ask, exasperated by this conversation already. I don't have the dexterity right now to deal with him. I'm beginning to get a headache.

"I needed to know what to do with your stuff?"

My stuff?

Crap, we live together. Well, we did live together...

"I threw most of it out because you didn't get back to me but I boxed most of your clothes and photos-."

"You threw most of it out?" My tired mind is now wide awake, and I'm sitting straight like a pole in the seat. "What? Why would you do that? Jeremy, that is my stuff. What the hell?"

"I can't have all your crap cluttering the apartment. Especially, when you aren't even here or coming back. I tried to call you all day yesterday before I tossed the shit-."

Crap? My heart drops down into the pit of my stomach. I'm all too familiar of what Jeremy refers to as crap.

"What did you throw out?"

"Everything that wouldn't fit in the hallway closet or a box."

My eyes fill with angry tears and for once in my life I want to kill him, "The buffalo drums? Please tell me you didn't, Jeremy."

"Sorry, I tried to give them to your dad but he told me to call you."

"JEREMY!" I yell and feel sick thinking about those precious items thrown into the dumpster. I look to the clock on the dashboard of Ollie'a car knowing trash gets picked up at 7am on Monday's.

It's nearly two o'clock...I've fucking missed it. "You knew what those meant to me! Why the fuck would you throw them out? You did this to spite me, didn't you? What else did you throw away, Jeremy?"

"Everything on your side of the living room."

I'm trembling and my throat burns, I want to scream or punch something or both but I'm stuck in this car...

The poncho made from alpaca yarn I got from the trader on my descent from Machu Picchu.

The multicolored blanket I got from a small market in Turkey.

The small vase from Egypt.

Framed drawings the children made me from a small village in the Amazon.

Everything I treasured he referred to as crap is now on it's way to one of the many New York landfills, as good as gone.

"I hate you." I say quietly suddenly disgusted with him. He knew those were my treasures, he didn't do this because he didn't know better, he did this because of my choices this weekend.

"Should I pull over?" I hear Ollie ask somewhere off in the distance but I ignore him.

"I called you. Three times Muriel.-"

I diconnect the phone and quickly scroll through until I get to Gemma's contact.

I sniffle and wipe my wet cheeks and breath a breathe of relief when she answers, "Hi Mur, what's up?"

"Gem? Are you in New York?"

"Yeah? What's wrong? Are you okay?"

"No. Can you please go to the apartment and get my stuff from Jeremy. Before he throws any more stuff out?"

"Yeah, of course." She says softly sensing how distraught I am.

"Thank you." I murmur.

"I'll leave now." I hear the sound of footsteps and a jingle of keys on the other end of the line.

"Okay, please call me when you get there. Don't let him throw anything else out."

"Shit, do you want me to kick him in the balls for you?"

I sniffle again and rest my head against the window hating myself for not answering the phone yesterday.

"No."

______________________________________

What an asshole!

This girl can't catch a break!

Thanks for reading!

Does anyone have anything neat they've gotten from abroad? I'd love to know!

I have this cute mini tea kettle my sister got me from London. And a pearl bracelet I got while I was in Japan!