I am not taking my clothes off. That is madness.

"Crack on, Murry, before I decide to lock your arse outside!" Ollie calls over his sculpted shoulder while he hangs his dripping clothes from the rail of the landing.

He would lock me out here. So I don't waste another minute before I join him on the landing, fully clothed, and attempt to ring the water from my shirt and hair.

Ollie takes a glance and smirks with a head shake unaproving my choice to keep my clothes on.

We step inside and walk in silence only interrupted by our glimpses and smirks until we reach our separate bedrooms.

Inside I undress quickly and hop into the warm shower to finish up. I dress in my pajamas, soft cotton flutter shorts with a matching button-up shirt then fix my glasses to my face as I search for Jane's number in my contact list.

I select her name and check to be sure my bedroom door is closed completely then press the call button.

"Mur, so happy to hear from you, Dear. Did you arrive safely?"

"Yea...Jane, did you know Oliver was going to be here?"

"Oh," She chuckles for a moment, "I was certain the manor was going to be empty this weekend, my goodness, I'm sorry Darling."

She is so full of garbage its not even funny.

"Uh huh." I say not believing her for a second.

"You two must have so much to catch up on. So many wonderful memories in that house, this is the perfect time to add more."

This is actually not the time I wish to add Ollie into my life. Especially now, when he will just...complicate things.

"...alright, Jane. Well, thank you for letting me stay here. I'll be back on Monday."

"Okay, Mur. I love you, tell my boy his mummy says 'hello'."

I drop the phone disconnecting with a loud moan and rest my forehead in my hands sitting cross-legged on the bed becoming overwhelmed with everything.

Might as well get this over with while I'm in a bad mood.

I grab my phone again and tap the Instagram app, then open up my notifications...

An hour later, my glasses are fogged up and my eyes sting from fighting the urge to cry at some of the awful things I've read.

The majority of the comments were nice, but sprinkled in were some really nasty things.

A lot of Ginger comments, a lot of comments about the 'planet' sized space between my eyes. And somehow the internet sleuths have found out I'm recently single, I do humanitarian work, and I'm a student at NYU.

Well...was a student...

My finger hovers over the delete button on the app but then there's a swift knock at my door.

I sit up quickly, not wanting Ollie to see how pathetic I look curled up under the blankets crying over social media.

"Hey, Murry." The door opens a crack and Ollie peeks inside. He smiles wide when his eyes fix on me, "Oh good, you're not sleeping. Fancy a movie?"

"Yes. Yes, please." I nearly growl. I need something to get my mind off this crap that is my life.

"What shall it be?" Ollie asks with a beer in hand skimming the built in bookshelves shoved full of DVD's.

I sit on the old plaid sofa that's been around since before I could remember  nestled in with my legs curled to the side and shrug with a weak smile.

"Nightmare On Elm Street?" He asks removing the DVD from the shelf flipping it in his hand scanning the back of it.

"No horror movies." I say.

"Right. No horror movies." He returns the movie, "Spiderman?"

I make a face and shake my head, "I'd like to watch something good...like..." My eyes widen thinking of my favorite movie.

"Come on? Really?" Ollie reads my mind and rolls his eyes, "It's like five hours lo-, you know what, fuck it. Let's watch it."

I smile at his sudden change of heart and take a sip of the beer he brought over for me. The bitter taste makes me shiver and I immediately set it on the table beside me, not going to drink from that again.

He grabs the movie from it's place on the shelf and puts the CD into the DVD player. Ollie takes a seat on the small sofa crossing his ankle over his knee and drinks again from his beer.

I settle in pushing my glasses up the bridge of my nose and sigh softly when Titanic begins playing on the flatscreen TV in font of us.

"Everything alright? Did you change your mind?" He asks quickly.

"No, I'm fine." I keep my eyes on the screen trying to keep the rude comments from Instagram as well as my father and Jeremy's cheating from entering my mind.

"Fine is not fine though, in girl language." Ollie retorts with a smirk.

I let out a slightly frustrated breath and try to keep my attention on the movie.

"Right then. I'll shut it. But you can talk to me, Murry."

I nod and chew on the inside of my cheek pretending to be more interested with the movie I've seen a million times before. Half of those million times has been with Ollie...

I contemplate for what seems like forever opening up about how lost I'm feeling. And, if this was years ago, I wouldn't think twice about it. I'd talk and he'd patiently listen, waiting until I found the right words between my long pauses to make sure I speak exactly how I feel. He never rushed me. Ollie never became impatient with me when I struggled to get my words out, he remained quiet and let me figure it out.

We're more than an hour into the movie and I'm not even paying attention to when I blurt out, "I walked in on Dad screwing his assistant."

Ollie grabs the remote and pauses the movie, "Mum said he was caught cheating...but she didn't say you caught him."

"Yeah...literally with his pants down and the woman bent- nevermind about the details." I clam up unsure why it even came out of my mouth.

"What a fucking prick. After everything he preached to us?" Ollie shakes his head glaring at the frozen screen before us.

"I know. And the worst part is he asked me to not tell mom."

Ollie nearly chokes on the beer and looks to me astonished, "You're shitting me?"

I shake my head and sigh, "He only told mom that night because I threatened to tell her if he didn't."

"So...Then what happened?"

"They separated. Mom has the big empty house, and dad is renting somewhere in the city...I haven't talked to him since that day." I'm surprised at my honesty with Ollie but we were once close. So, perhaps I'm just looking for some comfort to speak freely with a friend, and it does feel liberating to speak out loud.

"I hate that Mum's alone..." Ollie says referring to my mother as his own. All three of them Maggie, Ollie, and Ty address my parents as Mom and Dad. However, Gemma and I were raised to call Jane and George by their real names, courtesy of Dad. "Not that you should be there..." He corrects himself quickly, but I understand what he is saying.

"I do feel guilty for leaving her. I asked her to come with me to London but she refused." Ollie continues to watch me as I pick at my nails, "She told me she wasn't going to 'run' from her problems."

"Are you, then?" He asks quickly causing me to freeze, "Did you run?"

I half-laugh and shrug a shoulder, "Obviously."

"Since when does Muriel Reazpoe run from a problem?" He boasts with a handsome smile.

"Since now." I chuckle, "I dropped out of school and quit my internship. And I don't think I'm going to go back." I think aloud.

"Good God...but this is everything you've wanted?" He sets his beer down and turns to face me on the couch.

I shrug again unsure of anything. It was what I had wanted. I graduated high school a year early just to guarantee I was accepted into the best internship and university. I worked and worked with my nose in a book studying every waking moment. Always trudging forward, never stopping to breathe. Go, go, go. Succeed, succeed, succeed.

"It was...and it's what dad wanted as well...but I'm beginning to think maybe I wanted it because he drilled it into my head so I wasn't able to give anything else a chance."

Ollie nods resting his elbow on the arm of the couch giving me a tired smile, "So...what do you think you want now?"

I smile and suck onto my bottom lip, looking away from his intense green eyes, "I think I want space and time...to figure it out."

"Fair." Ollie agrees, "I'm happy for you, Murry. Bout' time you figured it out."

I scoff and look around for a pillow to throw at him, but I come up fruitless.

"Now...shall we get back to Leo?" Ollie teases sipping from his beer.

"Yes, you should be taking notes." I tease him as he presses the play button. The sounds from the television begin again while I'm still watching him. I appreciate the talk more than he could ever know.

"Thank you, Ollie."

He nods returning his eyes to the TV. I let out a relieved breath and snuggle in resting against the arm of the couch with my feet near his thigh and one arm holding my head and one hand curled in my lap.

"You're welcome, Muriel." He says placing his hand over top of mine sending a chill up my arm.

I smile to camouflage the sudden tensing of my muscles and begin to panic when his hand remains there on my own.

Oh

I stare at the images of Rose and Jack dancing but don't comprehend anything because Ollie's hand is still resting on mine.

Maybe...he's forgotten his hand is there?

I gulp against my dry throat and sneak a look from the corner of my eye, seeing him watching the movie without a care in the world.

My nerves are at attention, suddenly awake and wirey with anxiety by Ollie's unmoving hand covering mine in my lap.

Do I say something?

Or should I just ignore it?

I'm panicking, I don't know what the right thing is to say or do. I'm afraid if I draw attention to it I might blow a simple misunderstand out of proportion. He may just be comforting me after I'd just spilled all my troubles out.

Yeah, that's it

He is just being a friend, a really good friend like he's always bee-.

I stop breathing when his fingers intertwine between mine and gives my hand a light squeeze.

Shit!

My lungs begin to burn and I realize I've stopped breathing due to the inappropriate hand-holding. I inhale a shaky breath and focus intently on the screen afraid to move and shatter our delicate friendship by calling out Ollie's hand interlaced with mine.

I know it's obvious my hands are sweating, but I try to hide the fact I'm freaking the hell out. The longer I don't say anything the more and more the harsh line that is our friendship becomes blurred.

My skin has perked up to goosebumps while the light clothing of my pajamas feels like heavy chainmail chafing my sensitive skin, leaving me frozen in an awkward position on the couch for what seems like forever.

I suck on my folded lips violently 'watching' the passengers of the Titanic leaping to their deaths as the ship bobs vertically in the sea.

Finally, when my shaking muscles have finally fatigued due to the tension in my body do I mutter quickly, "I have to pee." I stand and power walk trying to get as far as I can away from that room and Ollie.

What the heck was that?

That wasn't friends comforting each other, that was hand holding. That was a literal shit dumping on the very clear line of our friendship.

I'm flushed and frazzled laying in bed unable to relax or sit still after leaving Ollie in the middle of the movie. Thank God he hasn't come to my door, because I don't know how I'll handle it.

I'm aware of the fact my skin is still electrified and heated while the space between my legs aches most annoyingly.

I rub my hands roughly against my face and flop onto my stomach and breathe out a loud huff. My hard nipples make laying on my belly incredibly uncomfortable so I flip again to my back grabbing the pillow and smothering my face with it.

"What the hell, Ollie?" I say into the pillow.

I knew he was going to make this weekend complicated. He always has to mess up my plans, it's like he gets joy out of it. And now, on top of the mountain of stress I'm dealing with, I'm afraid of the undeniable fact that I...liked his hand holding mine.

"For Christ sake." I throw the pillow off the bed my body hot like a blanket of thick air has enveloped me. I jump out of the bed and begin to pace back and forth. Its nearly two in the morning so I'm stuck here until
morning.

If I had my car, I could leave. But, nope I took the damn train.

I...need air. I need a fresh night air.

Without a second thought, I charge from my room and through the house. The small room where we had watched the movie is empty and dark, giving me a chance to breathe a little easier knowing Ollie has gone to bed.

I grab a pair of muck boots then leave, stepping out into the chilled night air and take a deep full breath.

Yes

Every step I take the more I can think straight. The more of the subconscious desire to allow Ollie to hold my hand dwindles.

Out here, with the dark sky above me, I can see clearly. Oliver Thomas will not cloud my judgment with his pretty eyes, handsome smile, and sweet gestures of holding hands.

I follow the trail I'd been on earlier in the day. The only companion is the sound of my boots squishing against the moist grass and my labored breaths as I stroll down the hills getting further and further away from Thomas Manor-.

"Oi! Who's out there!" I jump at Ollie's deep loud voice calling back from the house.

I sigh and stop in my tracks, turning to see in the darkness a flashlight aimed towards me. The small light begins to bounce up and down, "No, Ollie, it's me!"

"Muriel? Why the fuck are you out here?" I watch the torch of the light grow larger as he comes closer.

"I- I wanted to go for a walk, it's fine. Just go back inside!"

I hear him mutter something as he jogs over until I'm able to his body in the darkness. "Why are you out here? This is mad."

I sigh loudly and then turn to keep my eyes from skimming his body to see what he's wearing. "Please, Ollie. I just need a walk."

"At two in the fucking morning?" He shakes his head and steps forward, "Look, Muriel, I'm sorry if I...freaked you out...with the-."

I cringe not wanting to go there, "No, no, it's...I just need to go for a walk I'll be back in a couple of minutes."

"You're mad if you think I'll let you go by yourself."

"Seriously?" I turn around astounded at how ridiculous that comment was. "I just need...space from you."

I know my words have wounded him, but I need this. He's...confusing me.

He bites hard onto his lip then shakes his head angrily, "You, you took my hand at the-. Muriel, I..."

I step backward actually wanting to take off in a sprint but freeze when he takes another step towards me. "We need to talk, about...bloody hell, spit it out you fucking wanker." His hand messes into his dark brown hair, causing it to stick up in the front.

"We don't have to talk, really. It is fine."

"If I hear you say 'it's fine' one more time I'm going to go ballistic. We need to talk, Muriel, like adults."

"There's nothing to talk about!" My voice rises on accident but I just can't believe he's pulled the 'adult card' with me.

"Then what was that? Back there?" He retorts gesturing a long arm back towards the house indicating at the awkward line crossing during the movie.

"Nothing, nothing at all. I didn't do anything." I say in spite crossing my arms.

"Oh, don't bullshit me, Muriel. I felt you feel it."

"I didn't feel anything, Ollie!" My heart is pounding a mile a minute unable to gain control of the lies I'm spewing or what he's bringing to light.

"You're such- you're so, fuck!" He stammers loudly twisting around tugging at the roots of his hair, then turns back to me speaking clearly and concisely, "You're going to tell me you don't feel something for me?"

He stares at me, holding me with his unwavering eyes. My mouth is so dry and my heart beats loudly between my ears.

"We...we're friends. That is all." I say struggling to swallow the softball in my throat.

"You're not my friend, Muriel." He sighs dropping his eyes from mine and gazes grimly at the dark grass.

It hurts my already fragile heart to hear it, and the sting of tears fills my eyelids. But, what did I expect? We haven't been friends in years. Did I think just because we've spent some time together and I talked to him about my troubles we were now magically friends again?

He smooths back his hair then raises the flashlight to my face slightly binding me, "You've never been just a friend to me."

Oh no...please stop talking.

"I'm not an idiot, Murry. I've seen the way you've looked at me, and it's completely different from how you used to look at me."

"Oliver, just stop-." I can't handle this right now.

He shakes his head, not sparing me any mercy, and steps up closer, "No, I'm done filtering my words and actions just because you don't want to face it." He pauses and smirks then sucks on his bottom lip a moment, "If you don't speak to me again, so- fucking-be-it, but I'm doing this."

Oh God.

Ollie hooks an arm around my back and jerks me into him. I plant my hands firmly on his chest glaring up at him pushing back, "No, you're not doing this."

The gull he has to grab me like this? To ruin everything by his confusing admission.

His dark eyes leave mine and focus on my lips making the deep pit of my stomach quiver, "Oliver, don't. I'm not messing around."

He smirks, still focused on my lips and holding me to him with a tight arm around my back, "I'm not either. But I have to do it...at least once."

I open my mouth to protest once more but his lips crash into mine sucking out all the objections and burdens I'm expected to say. I feel his kiss all the way down to my core, the passion of it overtaking my sense of responsibility in every single way. Making me forget what I've just lost...and realize what I've just gained.
__________________________________

Yay!

I hope the questionable consent of the kiss is okay?

Murry needs a push sometimes lol

But surely this stubborn realistic girl isn't going to be happy about this...right?

CC

Shout out to my English slang teacher WrittenbySophie 🥰🥰 thanks for the laughs and teaching me allll the incredible sayings. Can't wait to put more to use!