━━━━  · 。ﾟ☆ .☽ .* ☆ﾟ. ━━━━

(n.) the journey of changing one's
mind, heart, self, or way of life

WHY HIM? THE UNIVERSE HAD THE DAUNTING NERVE TO ASK. And Draco didn't have the slightest clue. However, if he had to answer, he would probably tell the universe that it was because this was the closest he had ever come to falling in love.

He had realized it after their date—he still had a hard time believing it. Date. It was such a weird-sounding word whenever it rolled off his tongue, even weeks after. It had been a few days since school had been back in session as January made its way in and all of the students had come back from their holiday when Draco noticed that he felt. . .different. It was a decent kind of different. A good different. He didn't feel as weighed down as he had been before and it felt nice for once. Strange, almost as though he were wearing a second skin, but nice. Sleep had been coming easier by the day and he could actually keep himself awake during Potions. He was happy.

Draco wouldn't go as far to say that it was the happiest he's been in his life (although it was cutting kind of close), but it has been the most consistent. He knew it had a lot to do with his time being spent hidden away in the library as it had become almost routinely at this point, save for the days he and Louis left for themselves so they didn't wind up getting sick of seeing each other. Although Draco didn't think he'd ever get sick of seeing him.

Louis found himself once again in his usual seat at the Ravenclaw table in the Great Dining Hall, chatting away with Luna who was recounting her holiday to him, tales of helping her father with The Quibbler once more and avoiding Nargles for a good three days as they had begun to swarm her house for some apparent reason.

"What about you, Louis?" Luna decided to flip the tables on him, "How did you manage being by yourself?"

"I think I managed quite all right," answered Louis, "I wasn't by myself, though. Not entirely, I think."

Luna raised her eyebrows at that, starry eyes widening as she patiently waited for Louis to continue. And he did. "I, uh, I hung out with someone and we kept each other company for the time being while everyone else was gone doing gods know what."

"What was he like?"

"He was. . .sweet, not that I was expecting anything else. It was different. He got tired and slept a lot, which was fine, I get it, but—how'd you know it was a he?" asked Louis, finally catching on to what Luna had asked him.

Luna only beamed knowingly before nicking something off of Louis's plate and returning to her attention to her breakfast. Louis let out something that resembled a huh in bemusement and let his gaze wander over to the Slytherin table that sat a little way away, his sight almost immediately falling upon a certain boy's seat. Draco was lost in thought once again, stuck in that maze of a labyrinth of his somewhere, however, he didn't look like he was death personified, as he had once been. The sunkenness that surrounded his eyes didn't look quite as dark, having lightened a bit as a sign that nights have been kinder to him and he was getting better amounts of sleep. He also held his head in a way that showed that he wasn't on the verge of falling asleep. Louis found it nice to see.

And it was in that moment that Draco decided to look over to the Ravenclaw table and easily spot a familiar head of cinnamon-brown hair, crowned with that candlelit halo of his, in a sea of sapphire before resting his eyes upon his face and seeing someone that had made his head spin and his skin blister in both the most nauseating and heart-soaring way. Sometimes he wondered if he would ever end up feeling this way if they had never bumped into each other on the train, if Louis had never walked into the bathroom to check on him. . .if they had never kissed.

Before Draco could come to a conclusion, Louis's eyes met his and he could feel the back of his neck burn up and prickle the same way it's always done before, however, it felt different—because of course it did. Everything had felt different after Christmas. Something had changed, although Draco didn't quite know what. They still looked at each other the same, the way they were doing now. Louis's lips were slowly pulling back into a smile and Draco tried his best to fight his growing one. But seeing Louis smile only made his smile widen more. Louis just happened to have that effect on him.

The pile of impatient letters from Draco's father were only growing by the day, badgering him about the Cabinet and how he only had so much time to lose.

Draco's been so distracted—and happy—lately that he almost completely forgot about the foreboding piece of furniture that resided in the Room of Requirement. It was in that moment that Draco felt the crushing weight in his spine once more, throwing him for a loop that it had managed to disappear in the first place. And that only made him feel ten times worse.

Then he got to thinking of Louis, how clueless he was in all of this, how terribly happy-go-lucky. It crushed him to think about the look on his face when this would all eventually come to surface, if it ever came to surface. Draco selfishly hoped that it didn't. But he never got what he wanted.

It had only been a couple of weeks and Draco could already feel himself imploding. It wasn't supposed to be like this, it wasn't how it was supposed to go. Not many could say that their life was about to come to an end after a first date. It was safe to say that Draco's life may have ended before then because the second his eyes had met those ocean blue irises, he had been doomed for all eternity. He couldn't blame Louis even if he wanted to, his life would have come to the same point either way. With this way, he was hiding a secret from a boy who got himself into trouble looking for the good in people and yet here he was, getting himself into trouble nonetheless. It just wasn't fair.

Two months came and went as though they were nothing and then in came March.

The snow was slowly beginning to melt, the Whomping Willow was shaking itself of the snowy sludge, and Louis wasn't able to sleep for the reason that he didn't think he had ever been this happy—and he had been absolutely over the moon when he had gotten Jupiter as a seventh birthday present. Everything still seemed to have a golden, sunlit tint around its edges while the world outside was gloomy and close to war-torn.

Louis didn't know what had brought on his fitful sleeps but he did find himself getting out of bed and sneaking out of the dorm before he managed to figure out what he was doing. It had become muscle memory at this point, making his way to the Astronomy Tower and craning his head just so to look at the stars. It had become some sort of therapy for him, being able to hear the calm wind as it whistled through his ears and just breathe. How he managed to not get caught after all of these years was still news to him, figuring that Filch would have gotten hold of him at some point.

But here he was, seated on the ground of the Astronoy Tower, blanket wrapped around him as he craned his head just so, looking up at the stars. With the amount of them hanging over his head, they had never felt overwhelming to look at. They were comforting, a second home to him. They kept him company when no one else was around.

Louis's thoughts were splintered when he heard the silent creak of the Tower's door being opened. It was the timidness in the action that made him realize that it was Draco making his way through and knowing that it was him made his skin warm.

"Couldn't sleep either, huh?" Louis asked, not bothering to turn around as Draco went to sit beside him.

"Oh no, I was completely fine but something else brought me up out of bed," Draco responded.

"Were you dreaming of me so you just had to come up here and see me?" There was a teasing lilt to Louis's voice as he raised his eyebrows cheekily.

"Yes, actually." Draco's response was soft, his smile even softer, and that almost made Louis's heart stop.

"Oh," Louis blinked, inhaling sharply as his breath caught in his throat. "Really now?"

Draco fought the instinctive urge to roll his eyes. "You can't give me that reaction like we haven't been going out for almost three months now, Lou."

"It's kind of hard not to react when you say it like that," Louis countered, "so you've been keeping track and I've got a nickname now? You must've really fallen off the deep end there."

"Who says I haven't already?"

Louis's breath caught in his throat once more and he wanted to speak, but he just left it at that. It wasn't any use trying to say anything for it to only ruin the moment. So the two of them sat in a comfortable silence and Louis could feel his head leaning to the side before it met Draco's shoulder as he readjusted the blanket that was around him.

"Something's changed," Louis murmured, "I don't know how to explain it but it's there. You don't reckon it has anything to do with us, does it?"

"Kinda cruel for the stars to push us together only for them to pull us apart in the end, don't you think?"

"Yeah, but they can be funny like that. Makes them a little less trustworthy when you put it that way. They can keep a secret but man, are they deceitful."

"Why do you put so much faith in them, then?"

"Because they've led me to you."

Draco's time to reply came and went too quickly when he heard Louis let out a soft snuffle, signaling that he was asleep. And it terrified him for the reason that he had come to learn how vulnerable sleeping in someone's presence can be. All of one's defenses were laid to rest and the chances of being attacked were high—not that it would ever come to that, hopefully. He's gotten used to sleeping around Louis because he made it so easy, so comforting. So for Louis to fall asleep on him just the same without ever having done it before was. . .heart-wrenching and throat-closing.

And it was in that moment, and the day after when he closed the door to the Vanishing Cabinet one final time, when that cursed piece of furniture was finally repaired, when the darkness that had been wading around his ankles shot up and swallowed him whole, taking him down in one, fell swoop with one last breath, that Draco realized. . .he was in love.

✧˖*° ━━ AUTHOR❜S NOTE
. . .that's gay, draco

and we're back ! finals were a bitch and i'm now trying to get back into the writing groove
now that i have more time on my hands. this chapter was low key short ( if ~1920 words is short ) but i hope you enjoyed it nonetheless ! i have a feeling the next two chapters are gonna be longer and a doozy so. . .there's that !

tell me what you liked, anything confusing i can help clear up, any phone throwing ?