Title: Thousand ways by quirkyshortdumbo11
Source: Blossom Awards 2024 by 
Category: Science Fiction
Mature: N (profanity)
LGBTQIAP+: N
Status: Complete
Round 1: 18/40
Round 2: 15/100

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*****

Round 1 total: 18/40

Title: 7/10
Both words should be capitalized, and adding "a" (A Thousand Ways) would make this feel more natural. But this is interesting, and I want to know what the thousand ways are, so I think this is a good title.

Blurb/synopsis: 1/10
I like short blurbs, but this is way too short. It doesn't give me any indication of what to expect from this book. I don't know who the girl on the cover is; I don't know what the thousand ways are or what that refers to; I don't know what genre to expect without looking at the tags - it needs more. Check out the 8-Chapter Challenge on justwriteit for tips on this (https://www.wattpad.com/1357752761-8-chapter-challenge-story-logline-and-pitch).

Cover: 5/10
I like the artwork. The colors, shading, style; it just ‌ works together. I especially like the girl's glowing eyes and the overall feel that she is glowing or illuminated by a bright light. The white background feels off, though. I don't know what color would work best, but nothing dark. It needs to be light enough so it doesn't detract from the girl. The biggest problem with this cover is that it's missing the book title and your name. Without those, it just looks like a nice picture. You'll have to be careful adding those in so they're visible and obvious but don't interfere with the girl, but if you do that right, this might not even need a background.

First chapter: 5/10
The italics and underlined text are hard to read. Italics should only be used to offset a small section of the text, and underlines should only be used on very rare occasions. I think you could italicize "This belongs to" and the date, or use bold-faced text instead, but the rest should be in normal text. The "thousand ways" doesn't fit in with the story yet, so I think you should leave that out.

But the chapter is obviously supposed to be a journal entry, and it does read that way. There are a few lines that don't quite fit with the journal style, though. They read more like her thoughts at the moment she was being chased, not her reflections about something that happened in the past (the biggest area of concern for that is "Tears leaked out of my eyes" to the second "Oh my god"). Try to reread the text and think of it this way: If this happened to me, and I was sitting down to write about it later, what would I write?

Also, the smiley face at the end of the last sentence is really out of place. She's freaked out about being chased and bitten by a zombie. A cutesy smiley face changes the tone to one that's light and makes it seem like she suddenly thinks it's not a big deal, and this is definitely a big deal to her. I do think you have a good concept here, and, although there is plenty of room for improvement, you could really work on this and develop into a great story.

*****

Round 2: 15/100

Cover & title: 4/10
See round 1 feedback.

Blurb: 1/5
See round 1 feedback.

Grammar & voice: 2/20
Your grammar is fairly good, but I'm including the underlined/italicized text here, since I think that falls under "voice." It's really hard to read. And you switch back and forth between that and normal text in chapter 2 for no apparent reason. Just put it all in normal text. Also, some of the chapter titles are missing punctuation and spaces, and I'd prefer them capitalized, similar to the book title.

Plot & pacing: 1/10
The timeline is really confusing. The first chapter says she was bitten a few days ago, and then the second chapter says it happened the day before? It gets super rushed with the news announcement and her family fleeing their home, and then there's a chapter that says she's been at the shelter for months, but her diary entries say it's only been a few days? You need to hammer that out, make sure the timeline is consistent across the board, and add in details for transitions.

Characterization: 2/20
It's really hard to get a feel for any of the characters. There's no detail to any of them, and the narrator, Abigail (I had to look that up), comes across as very shallow and flighty. Adding character descriptions will help slow the story down so you can fix the timeline and pacing issues, and it will also make the characters more relatable. Also, Abigail is the protagonist's name, and the reader needs to know that and remember it.

Harmony within genre: 3/15
I'm back and forth on whether this should be Sci Fi or Thriller, but either way, the title, cover, and blurb don't match the story.

Originality: 2/20
This is a very standard zombie apocalypse story. The way you're approaching it as individual journal entries from a survivor's perspective is unique, but you need to flesh it out with character descriptions and transition. That might mean having sections of the text that aren't journal entries - for example, start the chapter with her journal entry, and then include a section of third-person or first-person narrative to add in those descriptions that can be tricky to implement into a journal entry.

Additional comments:
A content warning about swearing would be a nice addition to the blurb.