Title: The Last Philosopher by NickfEast
Source: Feedback request
Genre: Fantasy
Secondary/subgenre(s): Humor
Mature: N (PG-13: alcohol, animal death, blood, bodily fluids, child abandonment, death, domestic abuse, gore, hunting, loss of a loved one, misgendering, moderate profanity, racism, sexual references, smoking, violence, war)
LGBTQIAP+: N
Status: Ongoing
First impressions: 38/40
Digging deeper: 97/100
Final thoughts: pending

Clicking the "External Link" button below the "Continue to next part" button will take you straight to the book, or click the link in the inline comments here. → 

*****

First impressions total: 38/40

Title: 10/10
Great title. It's ambiguous and intriguing.

Blurb/synopsis: 9/10
This is good. It throws out interesting details that increase the intrigue level, and it seems serious until you get to the last paragraph, which isn't intrinsically humorous, but it still is, somehow. The adjectives you use to describe the different people groups add that touch of subtle dry humor that I really enjoy in your writing.

Two suggestions. I think the second sentence in the first paragraph should end in a question mark, and there should be a comma after "ideas" in the third paragraph. But, otherwise, solid writing here, and I love the intro to the bitter black hole, the discontent wizard, and the escapee, with no spoilers for the rest of the book! I hate blurbs that give too much away. But this doesn't. And I have a soft spot for the little black hole. ;)

Cover: 10/10
I've always liked this cover. Everything fits together so well, even though, on closer inspection, it feels a bit strange, like the individual elements shouldn't go together. But they do. The background imagery, the colors, the accents in the corners, the font choice - it all works. And it adds to the mystery of the title while telling the reader they can expect something in the fantasy realm.

First chapter (and everything that came before it): 9/10
I love the little quotes to start each chapter. Similar to the blurb, they seem serious, but they also have that subtle humor you're really good at, especially to someone who's read past them and circles around to look at them again.

Ah, the first chapter. Richard, or Dick, the bitter black hole. I really like the little (massive?) guy, even though he's a bit of an egotistical maniac. And I never knew black holes could be funny. You just have a way of writing that makes everything seem serious, until it's not, and a black hole is "spewing radiation" because it's excited, or complaining that it should be the center of the universe that the stars should favor, even if he devours a few of them like "salted peanuts." It's those little touches that just make this so engaging. I was worried at first that this would be a really heavy, philosophical book, with deep thoughts that would make my head hurt, but it's not. There are deep thoughts, and you've woven philosophy throughout, but that dry, subtle humor tempers the philosophical really well and keeps this book accessible to readers. As I noted in inline comments, there are areas where I think you should merge shorter sentences together, and I know you noted those down to look at with your next edit, but that's really the only issue I found with this chapter. Your SPAG is solid, your unique voice is clear, and I kind of like Dick, even though he's pretty selfish. ;)

*****

Digging deeper total: 97/100

Cover & title: 10/10
See above.

Blurb: 4/5
See above.

Grammar & voice: 19/20
As I noted above, your SPAG is really solid, and the only issue I noted was areas of shorter sentences you could merge into longer sentences to smooth the read. There's a very rare mistake here or there, but it's really hard to find them. And, as I noted above, I just love reading this. You have such a unique voice. Your dry humor, the little touches of giving individual aspects of thoughts their own voices (gets a little confusing in that head, doesn't it, Lug?), the world-building that marks your serious dedication to this story - it's all so good.

Plot & pacing: 9/10
I'm giving this a 9 because I'm sure somebody could complain about the plot, or seeming lack thereof, but I don't have a problem with how you've written these first few chapters. You're bouncing around the world, introducing different characters, and there's an underlying sense that they're all connected somehow, building the reader's curiosity with every chapter. It's going somewhere. I know it is, but I don't know where, and that just hooks me further, because I need to know how a black hole, a wizard with pink bunny slippers, and an escaped prisoner go together! Maybe somebody could say it's a slow build-up, but it doesn't feel slow. It feels perfect.

Characterization: 20/20
Yes. Just yes. I didn't know a black hole could be so emotionally complex. The wizard who treasures pink bunny slippers and can barely pronounce his own name has a very messy, complicated thought life, and, holy cow, the thoughts have their own characterizations, too! It's got to be crowded in his head. And the escapee - his thoughts are loud, too. What are these people drinking? Is it something in the air? I don't know, but it's entertaining, and this intro to each character leaves me wanting to know more about all of them. Even Dick, short for Richard.

Harmony within genre: 15/15
Yep. Yep, yep. You threw me for a loop here at first. The title, the cover, the first chapter about a black hole - it all had me wondering - fantasy? Really? Where is this going? But it was a good loop. The next chapter introduces the wizard, and we get into the world the black hole is watching from a distance, and all doubts are gone. This is fantasy. And it is definitely humor, too, although not blatant, slapstick comedy. It's a mature, dry humor that goes really, really well with fantasy. This isn't a far-out, unrelatable fantasy, either. There is something so grounding about the little details, something that makes it feel like I could probably live in this world. Especially with the pink bunny slippers. I can relate to a wizard who wears pink bunny slippers.

Originality: 20/20
I had to stop myself from typing this above, because I knew this had its own category. Finding a truly unique fantasy story can be difficult. It's all mages and dragons and fantastic worlds and elves, which is fine. I love all of that. And everybody has their own take on it all, their own unique spin, which keeps it from getting mundane.

Your take has to be the most unique I've read.

Yes, you have mages and a fantastic world and varying people groups, but it's just so different. Maybe it's your story emphasis? The humor? I really don't know. The philosophy? This isn't a massive J. R. R. Tolkien-style epic adventure where failure leads to destruction of the entire world. Maybe it turns into that later, but I'm willing to bet it won't be anything like the traditional massive epic. This is more character-centered, which, again, has been done before, but it's still really different here. These characters are distant and close. This world is complicated, but I don't have to reference a map to follow the story. It's mystifying, it's funny, it's deep, it's light, and it feels like you can seat it in multiple different genres if you want to, but it's most at home here, in fantasy-land, inhabiting its own little corner all by itself, perfectly content to do its own thing and ignore the rest. I really can't wait to see where you take this.