Title: 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐂𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐜𝐢𝐥 𝐨𝐟 𝐆𝐨𝐝𝐬 by Dark_Ghostie
Source: ELGANZA, INC. | AWARDS by TheCieloCommunity
Category: Fantasy
Mature: N (moderate swearing, violence, mentions of death, kidnapping, war)
LGBTQIAP+: N
Status: Complete
Special note (judging): I had five books from this category, and the other judges (HavvySnow, silksutra, _p1nk_tr4sh_) had six, five, and five books, respectively.
Score: 65/100

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*****

Rubric:
- Title: 5
- Book cover: 5
- Description (blurb): 5
- Plot & storytelling: 15
- Character development: 10
- Writing style: 10
- Grammar: 10
- Originality & creativity: 10
- Emotional impact: 10
- Pacing & structure: 5
- Accuracy (if non-fiction): 5
- Overall enjoyment & engagement: 10
Total: 100

*****

Total: 65/100

Title: 5/5
Mythology, fantasy, all good with me. Yes. Love this title.

Addendum: Adding the series title and book number would not be a bad idea so readers can clearly see this is where to start if they want to get into this series (especially if they start with a later book and then realize they need to read book one first).

Cover: 4/5
The first issue I see with this cover is the font color for your name. I think sticking with gold would work much better with the black and gold theme. It's actually not much of a problem in the smaller image on the table of contents page, but the white really stands out in the larger image when I click your book title on your profile (and that's the reverse of what I usually see, which is that the larger image looks better than the smaller image). I think the placement of your name is fine. It's just the color that's an issue. And, after sitting here, staring at this cover for a while to analyze it, I realized the corner frames are off. Parts of the frames are cut off, and that may be due to image cropping to fit Wattpad requirements, but they're not symmetrical, either, and now that I have noticed that, it really bothers me.

Blurb: 4/5
This blurb runs a bit long for my taste, but it's probably fine in that regard. I just like shorter blurbs. Ending with a question is a great way to hook in readers, and even though you've provided a lot of information, I get the feeling you're withholding a lot, so it's not like you've spoiled the story by saying too much.

There are a few editing suggestions I'd recommend. In the fourth paragraph, I'd change "may" to "will," and "trails" should be "trials." The next paragraph has more stuff going on. In the first sentence, I'd add "already" after "sister" to improve the flow, and I'd probably change "raised" to "high." "Raised" isn't wrong, but "high" feels more natural to me. The next sentence is a bit convoluted because it's so long. I'd cut it in half with a period after "Eden," and change "had always" to "has always" for tense consistency. Also, where you have that single hyphen, I'd add spaces on either side ( - ) to make that sentence division clearer. As for the new next sentence, just swap "that" for "An Eden," and I'd swap the two "hads" for "has always" to tie in nicely with the previous sentence. Lots of "always," yeah, but it works to add even more emphasis to what she wants and how important this is to her.

Addendum: Adding a note in the blurb about this being the first book in a series would be a good idea.

Plot & storytelling: 5/15
Well, the plot is definitely unique, and huge kudos on coming up with all the trials. I wouldn't know where to begin with those, and I certainly can't decipher a riddle without assistance, so there's no way I could create riddles. But...there's a lot promised in the blurb that never happens in the story, so I'll start by going through that, and then I'll transition into some thoughts and questions about the story in general.

The seven trials are not deadly. The last trial was the deadly one. I suppose the fourth one could have been deadly as well, but I got the feeling that octopus was all talk and no show, so Gemini was never in actual danger there. But none of the other trials were even remotely deadly, at least, none detailed in the text. (And, side note, I don't know why the conversation about the octopus' gender mattered.)

Why does the council change? There's never really a satisfactory explanation for that. All the old gods and goddesses who made up the old councils are still around (or most of them are, anyway). What is the difference between any of the councils? I know they correlate to different pantheons, like Egyptian, Greek, and Roman gods, but I never saw the gods or goddesses do anything in this story other than torment Gemini and tease each other about relationships. There was no work done at all. There was mention of some kidnappings, which is, of course, concerning, but there's no action taken, and the Council seems pretty self-absorbed.

And what would a retired god or goddess do, anyway? (Another side note that's probably not relevant to the story content, so, moving on.)

High expectations for Gemini were a big thing in the blurb, but I never saw that, either. Nobody put undue pressure on Gemini, including herself. There's also no mention of her reasons for wanting to be on the Council beyond she just wants to be on the Council. Nobody talks about bettering Eden or failed promises of bettering Eden. Again, that just goes back to the Councils never actually doing anything.

Transitioning from the blurb to the story, what makes her capable of becoming a goddess? That's not detailed. Everybody in Eden seems like just another person, and none of the gods and goddesses seem to have any special abilities beyond normal people. They all learn the same stuff in school that everybody else learns—healing, history, shapeshifting, fighting. In fact, the trial that involves kidnapping Gemini and her family (so, one potential goddess, one current goddess, one former god, and one former goddess) shows that they're all incredibly vulnerable and essentially no different from regular humans. A gun could kill any of them. Just a gun. A regular gun. Also, that entire trial seems to have no point other than to allow the three gods and goddesses with the strongest evil streaks to play a (criminal) prank and severely traumatize other people just for fun. (And get away with it, because everybody laughs it off as a great joke after they finish sobbing hysterically.)

I think you use the term "starlings" for those who have the potential to become gods and goddesses, and there's another term, "countrystars," that seems to refer to Gemini's countrymen, but, again, I don't know what the difference between a starling and a countrystar is. I also don't really know why we need the term countrystar, because there's only one community here outside of Earth, and it's Eden. Which is just like Earth, except with a little magic here or there. Eden is heaven—but people get kidnapped here? Angry gods can just punch out old ladies on the street and get away with that (also a bizarre and largely pointless trial)? And people get shot with guns here?

I'm guessing the Council as a whole works together to determine the trials for the next potential god/goddess, with the (supposed) mentor having the biggest hand in creating them? That's not really explained, either, and that's just the explanation I've come up with on my own. Aries at least had a hand in creating all of Gemini's trials, which means he would have had that much power in her aunt's trials, too. Following that logic, the mentor does the teaching and stuff, so they know full well what their student is and isn't capable of, and having them create the trials, especially deadly ones, is pretty sadistic. If the mentor doesn't like the student, they can just plan a trial that will kill them, or neglect to teach them something important. Seems like studying and training for trials is less important than buttering up the mentor. And that sheds a whole new light on what happened with Gemini's aunt (in my mind, anyway).

The trials and the details set forth in the blurb should be the most important details of this story, but they're not. The relationships are. The trials are just a backdrop for the already-married couple; the couple planning their wedding; the secret lovers who go public with their relationship; and the blossoming relationship between Gemini and Aries (which...I have thoughts about later). This becomes extremely clear with the anti-climatic ending. Gemini becomes a goddess, which should be the biggest deal ever, and you handle that chapter really well, but that's not the last chapter. I expected the last chapter to show what she does with her new status as a goddess. But...she and Aries wander around the Council building, constantly running into lovey-dovey couples who want to be alone, and then they end up in his room with his head in her lap and her petting his hair—because they just want to be alone. That's it. It's a huge let-down, especially riding on the promises of the blurb that Gemini has important dreams and ambitions to do something useful, and then nobody does anything. I don't know who the baddies are in the epilogue, but they've got a slam dunk, if they're going up against this Council, because they've already got a huge head start just by having goals and applying themselves to achieving those goals.

So, those are my general thoughts, but that's all really fixable stuff. Just add more content. Show us what the Council does in-between Gemini's trials. Maybe show us a snapshot of them watching her leading up to the trials, noting whatever they see in her that has potential. Tell us more about what makes the gods and goddesses unique from the regular population. What changes when Gemini becomes a goddess—beyond her getting a fancy title and a crown? Fill in the blanks, and that will tie it all together. You have it all in your head. I know you do, or this story wouldn't exist. It's just a matter of relaying it to the reader.

A few very specific and minor thoughts: When she's a dolphin, you say she's "pumping her fins as hard as possible to swim faster." Dolphins move by tail action powering body undulations, not fin action (oops, my biology major is showing😅). In chapter 12, there's this sentence: "Between the trials, some of the gods had come down to coach her on some important skills that every god must have." And two paragraphs later, that sentence is repeated almost verbatim. I'm guessing that's something where you decided to move it to a different location when you were writing, and you just forgot to cut the old one out. And in chapter 14, she's standing in front of the mirror, and he's sitting on her bed, and then he leans in to kiss her. Unless the mirror and bed are very close together, and there's a huge height difference between her standing and him sitting on a bed, that doesn't really work (although that makes a hilarious mental image). One last thing, in the last chapter, you refer to multiple gods and goddesses as their animal/creature forms (scorpion, mermaid, ram), and you've never done that prior, so suddenly, I'm picturing a scorpion and a mermaid kissing in the garden, and it doesn't compute in my head.

Also, random thought, is it weird for a god or goddess to swear by saying, "Oh my god?"

Character development: 3/10
There isn't a lot of room for character development in this story just because of lack of space. As relationship-centered as it is, this needs a lot more attention, and Gemini and Aries are prime examples of this. We start with Gemini hating Aries for killing her aunt via bad mentorship centuries ago, and that hatred completely vanishes as soon as he tells his side of the story. It would be nice if forgiveness worked that way, but it doesn't. People don't get over long-standing grudges that quickly. This is a great opportunity to show Gemini's inner conflict. She's attracted to Aries and suspicious of him, and she wants to forgive him and move on with her life, but she's struggling to let go of the anger she's held for so long. But that doesn't happen. It's like we move from point A to point G with nothing in-between. Now, she has a crush on him. And then, another sudden jump to her hugging him after the seventh trial. And another big leap to him being so familiar with her, he bursts into her room and plops down on her bed while she's getting ready for her coronation ceremony. Then, of course, there's the kiss that comes out of nowhere to everybody except them, and we end with them being all lovey-dovey.

There's just no in-between. There's no build-up, no gradual deepening of their relationship, no begrudging mentor/student relationship, slowly morphing into a friendship, and then a crush, and so on.

I really didn't get a good feel for any of the other gods and goddesses, beyond Virgo likes to ramble on and on about things. The secret relationship going public is mentioned and then never shows up again until the last chapter. The (excellent, by the way) character descriptions for the coronation ceremony were much appreciated, because I didn't get a strong enough handle on any of the characters to remember what they're supposed to look like, let alone what they do. And I have no idea why...Scorpio, I think? He hates Aries, right? I don't know why that's a thing.

So, basically, same suggestion as the previous section. More. Dive into it. Explore the characters. Show us more in-between trial segments with a character on his or her own, just thinking about something. Give us more scenes with character interaction that really shows the way different characters relate to each other (with special attention paid to non-romantic relationships, because those are core to understanding everything else).

Writing style: 9/10
On the whole, you have a great writing style. It's clear and understandable, and it really communicates (to me, at least) that you have a really firm grasp on the story here. You just need to expand what you already have written to let the reader in on the secret, and I have no doubt you can do that. There are no awkward transitions (or lack of transitions when they should be there), and I never have to wonder about scene changes or character perspective. That's all stuff that's very clearly communicated in the text. My only real suggestion here is in Aries' recounting of what happened to Gemini's aunt. That section is in italics, but it's not really a flashback, because it's told in the flow of the narrative, as if he's speaking it to her instead of you as the author taking us back in time to see it through his perspective, if that makes sense. So, it doesn't need to be italicized, and section dividers are unnecessary.

Grammar: 7/10
Overall, this is really clean writing. There are a few little things here or there, mostly proofreading errors, I think, because they're not mistakes you make consistently, but I jotted down what I saw and noted a few examples as I went, in case you need this info.

I mentioned the hyphen issue in the blurb, and the same suggestion wherever you use that—spaces around the hyphen to make that important bit of punctuation stand out. There's one area where there's a missed paired hyphen: "There was the account of the Dark Ages where the first three gods of the current council-Pisces, Cancer and Scorpio fought what most thought..." There should be a hyphen after "Scorpio" to set that clause apart.

There's a sentence in second person in the prologue: "But be warned that the trials can be deadly-to fail one costs your life." That seems really out of place because you don't speak directly to the reader like that anywhere else, so I'd reword it to keep it in third person: "costs one's life." There are also quite a few areas where you slip into present tense, and since the story is in past tense, it's important to stay consistently in past tense to eliminate reader confusion.

As with the blurb, there are some sentences with awkward phrasing, usually because they're pretty long and they get kind of convoluted, so it's hard to follow the meaning. In a lot of those cases, I think using commas to distinguish different parts of the sentence would help. There are some rare areas where you use too many commas, but your tendency is to under-use them. And commas are a pain, so my best suggestion with them is to use an editing tool to help with placement. I tend to overuse them, as I have discovered, but I feel like I'm finally getting fewer corrections in this department, which hopefully means I'm improving. Hopefully. (Side note: One comma correction needed in just this paragraph, per my editing tool. Two, once I added this note. Doing great here. 😅)

There are rare misspelled/misused words, and at least two of these are definitely missed typo things that somehow got overlooked ("Beuaitufl" and "mmedium-sizedboxes"). You use the word "delusioned" in one place, and that's not a word. I think you're going for "disillusioned," or perhaps "deluded," but I think in context, "disillusioned" works better. At the beginning of chapter 13, you start with: "Breath in. Breath out. Breath in. Breath out." And it should be "breathe." Also, in the epilogue, you say "bid your time" a couple times, and it should be "bide."

Originality & creativity: 10/10
I'll be the first to admit that I know very little about the zodiac because it just doesn't interest me. I know I'm an Aquarius, and that's about it. But I've always enjoyed mythology. I have seen others put forth the concept of evolving mythology with human history (so, Egyptian turns into Greek turns into Roman per what works for the people at the time, but the central, actual godhood isn't actually changing). But the way you've done this is really unique. They're not the same gods/goddesses, just with different names. They're separate Councils with separate gods and goddesses, and they all tie together in your created world and your created mythology. This is something I'd also like to see you expand in your story, but I think that would happen naturally just with diving into character development or focusing on different aspects of the plot, like the Council's work and Gemini's reasons for wanting to join.

Emotional impact: 2/10
The way to really get a reader to connect emotionally with your work is through the characters. If the characters are unique, memorable, and relatable, they pull the reader into the story. So, as is, I didn't get much emotional connection with this story, because I don't know the characters. The situation surrounding Gemini's aunt is your key to pulling the reader into the story this way early on, and so exploring Gemini's thoughts and emotions, along with her gut reactions to Aries, is where you can do this right away. To some extent, pulling a reader in right away with something like that will hold them in parts of the story where there isn't much emotional exploration, but if those parts stretch on too long, you'll lose them again, and you still won't get the connection with other characters unless you do the same with them. So...more. More character development. That's your key here.

Pacing & structure: 4/5
This is tricky, because the story does not feel slow or rushed at all. The pace feels appropriate. Except...there's no room for character development or expanding the concepts within the story as is. It doesn't feel rushed, but the tempo is too quick to add anything else. But don't focus on pacing, because pacing isn't the issue. It's the gaps in the storytelling and character development that are the issue. And filling in those gaps will fix that without you ever thinking about pacing.

Accuracy (if non-fiction): 5/5
Free points. Yay! 🙂

Overall enjoyment & engagement: 7/10
I like the concept, and I have said it before, but I know there's more to the story in your head. I'm just not getting that in what's typed out. So, right now, the story feels more too 2D than I would like, and the disconnect from what the blurb promises to what the story gives is disappointing. But, as I've also said, you don't have to completely rewrite or change the story from the ground up. If you just fill in the blanks, that'll help a lot. But I enjoyed the introduction to your world and your characters, along with the recap/retuning of well-known mythology, and I'm interested to see where you take this series.