Title: 𝐇𝐰𝐚 by 123hikibakas
Source: ELGANZA, INC. | AWARDS by TheCieloCommunity
Category: Fantasy
Mature: N (blood, death, gore, strong swearing, violence)
LGBTQIAP+: N
Status: Ongoing
Special note (judging): I had five books from this category, and the other judges (HavvySnow, silksutra, _p1nk_tr4sh_) had six, five, and five books, respectively.
Score: 94/100 (2nd place)

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*****

Rubric:
- Title: 5
- Book cover: 5
- Description (blurb): 5
- Plot & storytelling: 15
- Character development: 10
- Writing style: 10
- Grammar: 10
- Originality & creativity: 10
- Emotional impact: 10
- Pacing & structure: 5
- Accuracy (if non-fiction): 5
- Overall enjoyment & engagement: 10
Total: 100

*****

Total: 94/100

Title: 5/5
I mean, it's hard for me to not like a title, but I especially love titles that force me to Google meanings. And this Google adventure told me this was a Vietnamese and Chinese name meaning "flower," which prompted me to go to my favorite names site for a more in-depth view and proved that Google isn't always right. It's Korean. Although there are related Chinese, Vietnamese, and Japanese names meaning "flower," and the Chinese and Japanese names are written with the same character as Korean Hanja, and I could continue down this rabbit hole much longer than necessary, but I think you get the picture. 😅

Cover: 4/5
The only flaws I see with this cover are with your name and the text at the top, specifically the word "novel." The white blends in a bit too much with the light blue background. I don't think you should change the font color or anything, but finding a way to add a little more definition to the text to help it stand out more would be ideal. And this is one of those things that's better on the larger image that I get when I click the book title on your profile, so yay for Wattpad compression of smaller images on the table of contents page. 🫤

Blurb: 4/5
Similar to my suggestion for Titanic, I'd recommend moving the quote down to the bottom of the blurb, and in the second line of the blurb, I'd change "where" to "when." Also, there should be some form of punctuation before "the flower" in the quote, and there should be a period to end that quote. I think either an em dash (—, Alt + 0151) or colon (:) would work for the punctuation before "the flower." Both give a slightly different feel to the sentence, so it's your choice which one you use.

Also similar to Titanic, your choice of words here has an almost ephemeral, mysterious feel, and since every BTS fanfiction I've read so far has been contemporary romance except for your retelling of the Titanic, I'm extremely excited at the prospect of reading a BTS fanfiction fantasy story. You have a very creative, original approach to these fanfictions. And I prefer short blurbs, so you're kind of hitting all my highlights here. 🙂

Plot & storytelling: 15/15
Okay. Well. As I said, I've never encountered a BTS fanfiction that was anything other than contemporary romance until I stumbled across your stories, and this. Just. YES.

Fjdksafjladsjfds'la

I love everything about this. The real-world beginning, the surprise leap to another dimension and another world, all the ancient Korean and Chinese stuff, the magic, the powers, the demonic entities, the unfurling plot—!

And you tell it so, so well. You set the scene immediately in the airport with the cold air, the goosebumps, the storm, the underlying tension, and then you build that tension to a screaming panic—and suddenly, it all stops, and we're in this peaceful, tranquil scene that's unlike anything any of us have ever experienced. Then Y/n wakes up, and—well, I'll get into her character more in the character development section, but I love this girl. She's great.

Every transition is smooth. There are no info dumps. It all flows. I can honestly believe every BTS member as these powerful demi-gods. The wonder of this new world, the underlying fear and horror, the struggle to come to terms with what's happening and how to get back to the life Y/n knows—

Jfdklsajfkdls;ajfkdsla

Sorry. I'm supposed to be articulate here.

And what was that on the airplane? The subtle introduction to magic from the guy sitting next to her, something soothing her fear in a way that is not natural at all, but she accepts without question? Also, note to self: If I ever find myself in one of your stories, I will never get on any form of major transportation. At least not giant ships and commercial flights. These are recipes for disaster in your hands.

Character development: 10/10
Y/n had to be one of my new favorite characters. She is so real and relatable. A girl who lost her happy childhood when her parents divorced and split into different countries. Having to choose who to stay with, wanting both at the same time. She's normal. She's real. And then a plane crashes, and her response is entirely appropriate—full-blown panic. And when she wakes up in Hwa, her response is also entirely appropriate, and we start getting into her wonderful sense of humor.

"I'm in a K-drama. That's the only logical explanation."

😆

We have these wonderful fluctuations between her trying to find the logic, narrating humorous thoughts to herself, full-on panicking when sirens turn into skeletons trying to eat her soul, accepting out of necessity the handsome demi-god who appears out of nowhere to save her, immediately becoming fearful and suspicious when he becomes the threat—this is the most realistic response I've ever seen from a character to this situation. So many times, a real-world character ends up in a fantasy realm, and their response is just weird. You don't accept something like that right away. You fight it. You look for a way out, and when unexplainable stuff happens, you freak out. That's Y/n. She's not a weakling at all, but finding her sitting curled up with her face in her knees because she's so overwhelmed by her first twenty-four-hours in this place is real. And then she's arguing with Jungkook, because he's treating her like she's the weirdo, and in her mind, he's the weirdo.

And, of course, we have their blossoming frenemiship happening. So much chemistry going on between them.

Every character is fully rounded. Her dad. Her mom. Han-rei. The other members of BTS. They're unique, they're memorable, and they're relatable.

Again, I just love this. All of it. And for non-BTS fans, you don't have to be a fan to appreciate this. Fandom adds an extra layer to their characters, but it's not required to understand this story.

Writing style: 10/10
There are no issues with transitions, flashbacks, weird section dividers, or anything here. This just flows. From the very first sentence, it grabs the reader and takes them for a ride. It's clear, it's engaging, it's descriptive—holy cow, your descriptions are vivid. Sight, sound, smell, touch, all very well-represented and fleshed out to pull the reader into the story. There isn't as much in the way of taste, but she's only had one major described meal in this story so far, and that got appropriate attention there, too. As much as was appropriate when she was busy asking questions and trying to make sense of what on earth was going on, anyway. Taste wasn't exactly at the forefront of her mind there.

Grammar: 6/10
You can pretty much reference the notes I made for Titanic for a detailed breakdown of grammar issues. But as I said with that, the errors are not major enough to detract from the readability of the story, and even though you're a non-native English writer, I can honestly say you write a lot better than many native English writers. And your grammar improves as the story progresses, which makes sense, because you started this story in 2021. You've had a lot of time to grow and learn and improve, and you have done that and will continue to do that.

A few specific word swaps I noticed here that I didn't see in Titanic are takeover/takeoff, revoke/recall, arouse/arose or raise, mount/stand or lift, masculine/male, robs/robes, steal-like/steel-like. With "masculine," that's an adjective, so calling someone "a masculine" doesn't work. You need a noun to make that happen, like "a masculine person," or something like that. Whenever I see you use this, you can pretty much swap out "male" and be fine. "Mount" is another word I see you misusing when people are standing up, and that word is used for climbing or getting on top of, so swapping for "stand" or "lift" would be better.

There was one place where you used "gritters," which isn't a word, so you would just swap that to "grits" (she grits her teeth). And you refer to Min Yoongi in tiger form as a bobcat at one point, but "tiger" and "bobcat" are not synonymous words in English, so stick with "tiger." Oh, and there was a misspelling of "crystal" as "cristal."

Originality & creativity: 10/10
Okay, well, this is off the charts. Hwa, the clans, the magic, the demonic entities, the descriptions—and the images you've created for this story just enhance the images you're already painting with your words. I really can't stress enough how beautiful your verbal imagery is, and I am so ridiculously envious of your graphics capabilities.

Emotional impact: 10/10
From the very first chapter, you grab the reader's emotions and drag them onto your personal emotional rollercoaster, one that they don't want to get off of—and I don't even like rollercoasters. That father/daughter scene at the start was just precious, and the heart-pounding terror of the crash was fantastic, and then her father's agony as he comes to grips with the (supposed) fact that his daughter is dead, and her mother's hostility toward him until she realizes what he's trying to tell her, at which point her anguish takes over—and, of course, all the emotions Y/n feels from the moment she wakes up in Hwa until the last available chapter (chapter 17 as of this writing). But beyond the emotions each character feels, you evoke emotions in your scenery, too. The peace and tranquility of Hwa, the wonder, the beauty, the underlying tension—it's all so, so vivid.

Pacing & structure: 5/5
Yes. Perfect. Not too fast, not too slow, moving the plot along while giving us plenty of lore and character development, and enough down-time for the reader (and Y/n) to digest what's happening.

Accuracy (if non-fiction): 5/5
Free points. Yay! 🙂

Overall enjoyment & engagement: 10/10
I'll let you in on a secret here. I hate the f-word. Usually, when I encounter that word in a story, I shut down. If I don't have a reason to continue reading, like judging, I just stop at that point. So, while I didn't like the use of the f-word in the plane crash chapter, that was a very realistic place to put it, and you don't insert it into every bit of dialogue, like some people do, so it's not overbearing for me. Actually, now that I think about it, I'm not sure it even shows up again after the plane crash. But whether it does or not, you already had me with the story by that point, and I've passed the point of no return. You would have to do something really bad to turn me off to this now. I know this story has been many years in the making, with you plugging away at it as you have time and inspiration, but I will just tell you now that I need more of it. Yesterday. 🙂