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Fly Like Flower Petals by strawberry1d

Title: 𝐅𝐥𝐲 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐅𝐥𝐨𝐰𝐞𝐫 𝐏𝐞𝐭𝐚𝐥𝐬© by strawberry1d

Series: CEO (book five)

Source: ᴬʳᵗⁱˢᵗⁱᶜ ᴱˣᵖʳᵉˢˢⁱᵒⁿˢ ᴬʷᵃʳᵈˢ by janefanfics

Category: Brushstrokes of Feelings

Mature: N (mild swearing, sexual references)

LGBTQIAP+: N
Status: Ongoing
Special note (judging): I had five books from this category, and the other judge, Saramitra_, had five books.
Score: 86/100

Clicking the "External Link" button below the "Continue to next part" button will take you straight to the book, or click the link in the inline comments here. →

*****

Rubric:
- Blurb: 5
- Creativity & Practicality: 5
- Grammar: 5
- Plot Development: 5
- Style, Tone, & Feelings Factor: 70
- Component Compatibility: 5
- Overall Rating: 5
- Total /100

*****

Total score: 86/100

Blurb: 3/5
Well, I judged Chasing Shadows in the Vivid Imagery category for this same award, and I provided detailed feedback about the blurb format there. My main suggestion here is the same: move the excerpt down below the blurb so potential readers see the blurb first. I'm guessing you've written this from both the male and female love interest's perspectives, as you did with Chasing Shadows, so I don't think you need to flip the word order so the female is listed first in the blurb (and you don't really have to do that with the other book, either, which I forgot to go back and change in my feedback after reading the book). There are some spacing issues with punctuation (never put a space before any punctuation, except closing quotation marks, and always put a space after any punctuation, except opening quotation marks). And there's a missing "a" before "highly acclaimed novelist." But, as with your other blurb, this is short and has a good hook for a romance novel.

Also, side note, your books were not the first BTS fanfictions I read, and each one has pushed me to try to learn more about BTS and get more into their music so I can better appreciate these stories, but yours have really helped me learn the differences between the members and start to identify them on sight, and...I blame you for my late nights watching hour-and-a-half compilations of BTS live in concerts that I couldn't turn off. You did this to me. ;)

Creativity & Practicality: 5/5
Yep. This is a creative story. Making the members of BTS part of an elite group of CEO friends, their detailed lives as side characters, Vincenza's entire backstory, the day-to-day life of Namjoon and the way Vincenza comes in and just flips it all on its head–and everything about her is just so, so creative. Her impulsive, fun-loving personality, the random ideas she gets (60-point bucket list?), her entire outlook on life–and I'm so glad when you start calling her a flower child, because I was already calling her that in my head. She's just such a carefree person.

Just fyi, a lot of images in the story are broken, but I mentioned in Chasing Shadows I felt like you relied on images too much for descriptions, and I actually prefer the lesser amount of images in this story. Your descriptions have also improved from Chasing Shadows, so you don't need the images as much to fill in the blanks, either.

Grammar: 3/5
As with the blurb, I wrote detailed feedback for this category in Chasing Shadows, and it's pretty much the same stuff here. Occasional misspellings (more noticeable when they involve names, of course), multiple sets of quotation marks within dialogue, a very rare slip into first person or present tense, rare pronoun mixups, that kind of thing. There is definite improvement in this book right at the start as compared to Chasing Shadows, which makes sense, since this is a newer story, so you had more writing experience and learning under your belt when you started this. And, as with Chasing Shadows, while there are frequent errors, they're minor enough that they don't impact the overall readability of the story.

Just a note that goes kind of here and kind of in the style/tone category: I know you put in the disclaimers that you used AI for editing (which most people do to at least some degree), and there were areas where it felt like you overused it, because the grammar was better than your usual, but the tone of the writing was also a little different from your usual style. That's not a common problem, though, and I'd just recommend using AI editing cautiously as you continue writing the story. When you finish this story, it wouldn't be a bad idea to go back through from the beginning and make sure there's a consistent style and tone throughout.

Plot Development: 5/5
I love the way you start these stories with the individual POVs of the main characters well before they've met, and in this case, while they're still on opposite sides of the world. That really allows the reader to get to know each character as they are before the pivotal moment when they meet, and it makes the reader feel much more involved in the story's development. Continuing those individual POVs throughout, with more frequent swaps during their interactions, allows the reader to continue that close friendship with both of the characters.

Pacing is also perfect. Not too fast, not too slow, giving yourself plenty of time to lay out the important details for the reader and skipping extras that could bog the story down. There's no feeling of impatience waiting for something to happen, and there's no feeling of being overwhelmed by the speed of a rushed plotline. Everything develops and unfolds like a flower, and I find myself picking up the threads of details that I know you'll bring back later in the story to tie everything together in a neat bow.

Style, Tone, & Feelings Factor: 60/70
The only point deduction here is from what I mentioned in the grammar section about the AI editing changing the tone too much in a few areas here or there. Otherwise, this was perfect. I got an immediate feeling that this was going to be a fun story as soon as you introduced Vincenza. She's so likable. I felt like I knew her right away, and I laughed out loud so many times throughout this story because of her. She's such a breath of fresh air. Namjoon really needs someone like her in his life. The tone is so different for his side of the story at first, but he's just as relatable, and it's easy to see why he's drawn to Vincenza. That crackling electricity between them at that first meeting and the playful banter at the second one is just so good. I smiled so hard with every lead up from fun play date to intense kissing, and I think I get as much a feeling of let-down when Namjoon stops everything as he and Vincenza do.

Also, can I just say that the moment your male love interest starts calling the female love interest "sweetie" just does things to my heart?

Anyway, yeah, the reader gets all the feels from this story. Laughter, joy, disappointment, excitement, anxiety, relief–whatever the characters are feeling, we're feeling, and I need you to finish this story ASAP, because I need these two to get their happy ending!

Component Compatibility: 5/5
Yep. Everything works together beautifully. Actually, this has the makings of a great chick flick romcom.

Overall Rating: 5/5
You could probably tell from all the comments I couldn't help making as I read that I loved this story right from the start, and in case you still have any doubts, just scroll up and read back through everything again. Fun, sweet, romantic, with just the right amount of conflict and tension, and Vincenza is possibly my new favorite character ever.

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