Title: Against the Dark by wordywonders
Source: Feedback request
Genre: Fanfiction
Secondary/subgenre(s): Adventure, Mystery, Romance
Fandom: Harry Potter book series by J. K. Rowling
Mature: Y (abduction, amputation, blood, death, gore, loss of a loved one, magical abuse, mild profanity, sexual references, suicidal ideation, torture, underage drinking, violence)
LGBTQIAP+: N
Status: Ongoing
First impressions: 36/40
Digging deeper: 95/100
Final thoughts: pending

Clicking the "External Link" button below the "Continue to next part" button will take you straight to the book, or click the link in the inline comments here. → 

*****

First impressions: 36/40

Title: 10/10
This is a very apt title for just about any Harry Potter fanfiction, I think, especially if dark magic is involved.

Story description: 9/10
Just about perfect. I didn't find any grammatical errors, and you've done a nice job of introducing how Hermione and Draco end up together, along with the plot conflict, giving just enough information to pique the reader's interest without spoiling everything. The only problem I see, and it may just be me, is the word "their" in the second paragraph. It feels ambiguous to me. Is it referring to "the dark forces," or is it referring to Hermione and Draco? I initially read it as Hermione and Draco, but then I realized "the dark forces" is the closest plural noun, so now, I'm confused. You may want to play with the wording there. But otherwise, great blurb.

Cover: 8/10
I really like this cover, but it looks like there may be some compression issues, or it came from another site and doesn't quite match Wattpad's sizing, maybe? On the left-hand side is a very thin white line, potentially from a screenshot, so I'd definitely recommend cropping that out, but it also looks like the top and bottom were cut off a bit. I would say you could try shifting the text on the top down a little, but "A Dramione" feels weird. It feels like it should say "A Dramione Fanfiction." But I think that's pretty apparent from the images of Hermione and Draco, so I think you could just cut that text, and then move your name up slightly from the very bottom so it isn't cut off.

First chapter (and everything that came before it): 9/10
The prologue is such a poignant reminder of how the main series ended (pre-epilogue, anyway). You do a great job showing the pain and devastation, and you immediately build Hermione's character as a compassionate girl who shoulders responsibility without a second thought, determined to be the strength her friends need in order to recover from that last fight with Voldemort. She has her own pain, and her own desire to help her parents and restore her own family, but it's apparent she always puts others first.

And chapter one is a strong start. There's been an undisclosed amount of time since the prologue occurred, and now, everybody is picking up the pieces and finding their new normal. I feel like there probably couldn't be a better place to recover from that war than the Burrow and Mrs. Weasley's tender loving care. Your characters are so accurate to the book. I love Ginny's sass and George's jokes, and of course, Mrs. Weasley, the ultimate mother. And nobody is buying Hermione's strong act, because they care about her, and they know she's as affected as everybody else. She's still responsible Hermione, however, and we all know she'll take the Head Girl position at Hogwarts this year, no matter how overwhelmed she already is.

Your grammar is really solid throughout, and any editing suggestions I made in the comments are more about word choice and phrasing than they are actual errors, so there's plenty of room for stylistic liberty there.

*****

Digging deeper: 95/100

Cover & title: 8/10
See "First Impressions" feedback.

Story description: 4/5
See "First Impressions" feedback.

Grammar & voice: 18/20
Only rare grammar mistakes. You have a very clear, character-driven writing style that's excellent at forging an immediate emotional connection with the reader. It's engaging, as illustrated by the inline comments throughout the story, and there's never any confusion about what is going on in a particular scene. The only new suggestion I have in this area is use of the word "keep" in place of "put" or "set." I've been seeing a lot of this recently, and I'd never encountered it before, so I thought it was just a slang/dialect thing. And from what I can tell by a quick Google search, it seems like that's the case. So, it's fine within dialogue, because people don't speak with perfect grammar, but within the narrative, I think it would be better to change this to the more proper "put" or "set."

Plot & pacing: 10/10
Perfect. You're taking the time to introduce both main characters and build the background and circumstances that will bring the two together—and explain their behavior and reactions, like Draco's insults and Hermione's distaste. Of course, knowing what's going on in Draco's life doesn't excuse him from being a jerk, but it's at least understandable. And knowing what's going on in Hermione's life means the reader can foresee the contentious run-ins with Draco leading to a breakdown on Hermione's side, eventually. You're keeping the action up, and even your so-called "filler" chapters provide what I consider vital information, so nothing drags at all, and even though this is a slow burn, we all know where it's going.

Characterization: 20/20
You're incredibly good at drawing the reader into your characters from the outset, forging an instant empathy and investment in them and the story. And I don't think that's limited to Harry Potter fans. I think non-fans would get into this right away, too, and I'm betting you can do this with your characters regardless of the fandom or original story, too. All of your characters are so real. They're canon compliant, so I don't have any weird disconnects going on from somebody not talking or acting like they should, and they all have their individual quirks, flaws, good points, etc. And your main characters don't get all the attention. The side characters are just as well-developed.

Harmony within genre: 15/15
Harry Potter fanfiction. Yep. Confirmed.

Originality: 20/20
Although you are canon compliant, you're inserting plenty of originality into your storyline and your characters. There could always be more descriptive detail, but what you describe is vivid to the reader, like Hermione's scar, and your emotional descriptions are on point.

*****

Final thoughts: pending