Title: Adam's Wife by ahavaenoch
Source: Feedback request
Genre: Romance
Mature: Y (blood, emotional abuse, loss of a loved one, medical depictions, murder, rare strong profanity, self-harm, verbal abuse, violence)
LGBTQIAP+: N
Status: Complete
First impressions: 32/40
Digging deeper: 91/100
Final thoughts: Complete

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*****

First impressions: 32/40

Title: 10/10
I immediately thought of the Biblical Adam and Eve when I saw this title, so this is perfect for a Christian romance story.

Story description: 7/10
I'm not much of a poet, so I won't say anything about the poem other than it's pretty. It and most of the blurb are in the past tense, though, so the first sentence of the first narrative paragraph needs to be in the past tense, too, and the second sentence has some wording issues that don't quite make sense. If "the love in Evalena's eyes started stripping off itself," that means the love is stripping itself away, but I think you mean whatever was hiding that love is stripping away. So, rephrasing to something like this would work better: "Adam remained unaware until the barrier [or whatever noun is appropriate here] hiding the love in Evalena's eyes started stripping itself away, layer by layer, until the love was bare before him."

In the next paragraph, again, there's a problem with the second sentence. I think "about" is the issue. Changing that to "would happen" or "would she feel" would make more sense, and there should also be a comma before "but." Also, the last sentence should end with a question mark.

This isn't the most plot-heavy blurb. It's more vague and poetic, which I think works well with your writing style, since I've read part of the book already, and I know you have a very poetic, allegorical style. The plot is basically the couple and their relationship, anyway, so the story winds in and around their lives rather than following a set, straight path from start to finish. So, I think this is fine for this story. You could consider trying to incorporate more specific details in the blurb, but I don't think you really have to.

Cover: 8/10
I love the simplicity of a background image showing a couple dancing or embracing with no further graphical enhancements or adornments, and the placement, font choice, color, and sizing of the title is perfect. But the poem and your name are way too small. In the image on the book's title page, I can just make out your name if I squint, but it's too small even in the larger image when I click on the book name on your profile to get a larger image. The poem is really hard to make out in that larger image, too. I'd definitely bump the font size up for both, and you may need to adjust the placement of the poem when you do that. Maybe you can just move your name to the top of the cover and the poem to the bottom.

First chapter (and everything that came before it): 7/10
As far as grammatical issues, commas, singular/plural noun-verb agreement, dialogue tags, and awkward phrasing are consistent minor problems, but they don't detract from the beauty of your writing. I feel like it's cheating to do this, but I think my comment after the first chapter says it all pretty well, so I'm going to paste that here and tweak it a bit.

This is absolutely gorgeous. I only put edits in the in-line comments, because I felt like I just needed to do one comment at the end to summarize the poetry. Because this is poetry. The words you choose to describe the events, the vivid imagery you paint, the way the story unfolds and blossoms like a flower—it's just so good. I love how you carefully and quietly introduce more details as it goes—first one name, and then another, and a piece of backstory, and so on. Also, it's hard to find Christian books on this site, and the way you intertwine Scripture with your story is beautiful. I don't like to read smut, but even without that, a lot of what passes for "romance" on this site is anything but. It doesn't have meaning without God. It really doesn't. I mean, yes, people who aren't Christians can love each other, but that relationship with God just adds a whole new level of romance.

*****

Digging deeper: 91/100

Cover & title: 8/10
See "First Impressions" feedback.

Story description: 3/5
See "First Impressions" feedback.

Grammar & voice: 15/20
I really love your writing style. It's so beautiful and poetic. The grammatical issues I've noted before continue throughout the story, but they're still minor, and they don't interfere with the story. Your descriptive style intertwined with Scripture is just gorgeous, and while your use of the third person allows you to touch on each character's thoughts and emotions, Evalena is still very central in her chapters, so the narrative brings her as close to the reader as a first person perspective would.

Plot & pacing: 10/10
I said this earlier, but the plot is the characters and their relationship, so as long as you're developing the characters, the pacing is perfect. Which you are, so it is. Beginning with the wedding makes that event the reference point for everything else, past and future, and following the new couple through their first days of marriage while sprinkling memories from Evalena's past enhances the concept that the wedding marks the beginning of a new life for her and her husband, as much as it marks the beginning of the story. The past is who she was; this is who she is becoming as a wife and a mother.

Of course, there's no such thing as a blank slate, because the past does affect the present, so learning about her history with Adam and her family helps the reader understand the decisions she makes and the thoughts she has. The careful timing of each new piece of information for the reader keeps the story moving and keeps the reader engaged by answering a question and introducing many more. This story opens and unfolds like a flower, gaining a new beauty with each passing chapter.

Characterization: 20/20
The first five chapters are all from Evalena's perspective, so obviously, she's the character who is the most well known to the reader. She has loved Adam since they were childhood friends, and while she's overjoyed to marry him, there are events in her past which temper her joy. An undisclosed betrayal broke Adam's trust with her previously, and although we don't yet know what happened, he seems to have moved on, but that moment still brings Evalena pain. Another source of trouble is her father, who is angry at her for agreeing to marry Adam, but his anger is rooted in something else, again, as yet undisclosed. And, of course, it's hard for Evalena to know that she's Adam's second wife, and he is still very much in love with his deceased first wife.

But even though he told her right from the start not to expect him to love her, love is growing between them. He married her because his little boy, Barak, needed a mother, and Barak already loved Evalena. And that love is extremely apparent. She naturally fills the role of mother, and Barak naturally accepts her. Watching her relationship with his son is, I think, the primary and initial source of attraction for Adam, but he notices her appearance, too, and he feels a physical attraction as well, which causes some guilt in him because he's having trouble moving on from his first wife. But he flirts and teases her with increasing frequency as the story progresses, so it's only a matter of time before he'll be able to let the guilt go and allow this marriage to flourish.

Barak is absolutely adorable. He's really the key to bringing Adam and Evalena together, because he's just a normal little kid who speaks without thinking, not realizing how much it embarrasses Evalena when he points out in front of Adam that she looks at his father often, or that his father thinks she's beautiful and likes to look at her eyes. These are just normal observations for him. He also asks tons of questions about everything, just like any curious child, and seeing Adam and Evalena turn those questions into teaching experiences about God is really heartwarming.

And that's the best part of this story for me. God is in everything: the Scripture references interwoven throughout the narrative; the parables Adam creates to explain spiritual concepts in a way Barak can understand; the importance of prayer for Adam and Evalena as they embark on this new life together; the wisdom and support of other Christians who council Evalena as she takes on the role of wife and mother. I love how Adam's mother immediately takes Evalena under her wing to encourage the younger woman. That's something she really needs, since her own mother is dead and her father has cut her off from the family, and it's also a nice change from the usual conflict seen in real life and media between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law.

Harmony within genre: 15/15
This is 100% Romance, and it actually puts me in mind of the Song of Songs. The metaphorical language and close attention to the tiniest details in every interaction between Adam and Evalena makes me feel all warm, fuzzy, and tingly, every time.

Originality: 20/20
Yes, Christian romance novels exist (they're not easy to find on Wattpad, but they're around), as do stories of arranged marriages, second chances, and all that. But this story is very uniquely you. The characters are complex and relatable, the plot is nuanced, and the story is immediately engaging. And then there's your descriptive, poetic word choice. I'm just going to insert a single sentence from your story here which I think will speak for itself: "From a man so tall and muscular enough to unnerve anyone, she wasn't expecting faint touches like mild and pleasing sunrays of the autumn dawn kissing her skin."

*****

Final thoughts:
Evalena has always loved Adam. She has since they were childhood friends, and she's thrilled to become his wife—even though she's his second wife and he doesn't love her. He only married her because his first wife died and his son needs a mother. But he's a kind, godly man, and he takes their marriage vows seriously. For better or for worse, they're one in the sight of God, and with His help, they'll overcome all obstacles to become a family. Even with Adam's difficulty moving on from his first wife. Even with Evalena's guilt about mistakes in her past. Even with a dead woman's sister trying to drive them apart. God brought them together for a reason, and He can make flowers bloom in the desert and love grow in wounded hearts. And He can do it with all the poetry and romance of the Song of Songs.